What am I exactly?

[Bubblegum143]

My boyfriend and I have been together for going on13yrs. We have had a lot of ups and downs. We live about 45m away from each other. He works during the week down near him and I care for my 30yr Adult special needs child in my home 24/7. He lives in part of a friends garage on a cot. I own a home. He comes to see me once a week usually on Friday or sat night about 9pm then he leaves in the morning. ONCE a week. When he gets home after work everyday he takes a shower and usually goes to friends houses. Where other men and women hang out also. (ex-girlfriends included) Or he goes to see his mom or one of his daughters. all are closer to him than me. But you would think if he really loved me like he says he would stick around on the weekends at least and hang out at my house. He never invites me to go run around with him when he is off work or on the weekends. He knows I can usually and he doesn't have to drive me. I have a car. My mom and sister live 5miles away from him also I often go spend a day with them. He never says hey before you go back home come hang with me for the day. Because he never is just sitting in his garage he is always gone just visiting other people. I feel like just a booty call. and I'm tired of it. I am 50yrs old he is 51. I want to have someone who actually enjoys being a part of my life and wants me to be a part of theirs. Not just one night a week at MY house. I don't want to not be open to other possibilities of spending the rest of time on earth with someone who is a REAL part of my life and Me theirs instead of feeling alone. Because yes I guess he is technically my "boyfriend" I am loyal. any advice on what and how to handle this what do you think? and yes I have told him over and over how I feel about things.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, it really sounds like you deserve so much better than this "one night a week" treatment from him. From what you've said, it's clear he's not making you or your relationship a priority at all.

Any guy would be lucky to have a caring, loyal woman like you. But this dude seems to be taking you for granted big time. Always running off to hang with other people instead of you? Major disrespect.

I know 13 years is a long time, but is this really how you want to spend the rest of your time on Earth - waiting around once a week hoping for scraps of his attention? Seems like he's not willing to meet your emotional needs.

Trust your gut feelings - they're telling you something important here. You shouldn't have to keep begging someone to treat you right. My advice would be to have a frank talk with him about how serious this is for you, but be prepared to walk if he's not willing to change.

You're an amazing, deserving woman. Don't settle for less than you and your heart truly need to feel happy & loved. I'm here for you no matter what, girl. You've got this!

[TonyV]

Good god girl what have you done? For 13 years you've been in a semi long distance, once a week bootycall friends with benefits situation-ship? With a man who sleeps in somebody else's garage?

I don't know how or why you went along with this arrangement for this long, I geuss he must have that GOOD dick...

You might as well break this off now and see if you can find something real, your odds are already slim on the dating market but that's better than staying with this guy

[DishLady]

What are you? A giant chump for letting this odd little fling drag on for so long.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love in the air with a hint of confusion, isn't it? You, my friend, are in what seems like a limbo of lovebombing with just enough attention to keep your hopes afloat but not enough to quench your thirst for companionship. 13 years is a marathon, and it sounds like you've been running it with someone who's been sprinting elsewhere. The heart of the matter lies in what you desire versus what you're settling for. You're yearning for a full-time partner in crime, someone to share life's rollercoaster with, not just someone who clocks in for the occasional cuddle session.

Since you've already voiced your concerns and it hasn't brought about any change, it might be time to reflect on what you want versus what you're getting. Ask yourself, "Is the occasional affection worth the loneliness I feel?" Remember, love isn't just about being faithful; it's about being present, both physically and emotionally.

Don't shortchange your happiness for sporadic visits. You deserve a partner who's eager to be part of your world, not just a guest. Consider a heart-to-heart where you lay down your feelings one last time. If he can't step up, it might be time to step out and find someone whose idea of love aligns with yours. Life is too precious to spend it feeling like an option. You deserve to be the priority. 😉😊

[bowenw]

He isn't doing anything that could be considered boyfriend behavior or to show he cares. I think it's time for you to move on and find a real boyfriend.