When I have an argument with my boyfriend, he shuts himself off and starts ignoring and acting cold. How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Smallest of fights or arguments, it is mostly me who breaks the ice to end the fight or to communicate. Even if i am the one who gets irritated, he doesn't try to end the argument. Its just mere silence and somehow i start to break it off. How to deal with this? It makes me feel like i am the boyfriend here, no scope for babying, attention or validation of my emotions

[MrOracle]

Why is he your boyfriend? How did you not pick up this major difference in values during your partner vetting process?

Even if I assume that you aren't constantly starting arguments about every little thing (as many girls do), and that this is 100% him acting badly, then the question has to be: why are you with him? It doesn't sound like a supportive relationship, so why would you let it continue?

Did you actually vet him for his morals, values, and life-goals before you got into the relationship with him? If not, why would you expect to have a successful relationship? Different people have different values and want different things, so it's super important that you are on the same page, and since people don't change, it's important to know what you are getting BEFORE you commit - because it's not going to change later.

[HusamRocks]

Boys hate arguments and the more arguments the more shutting off and ignoring u will see especially if they are about everything and anything 👍🏻we see it as headache 😂

[Asker]

But its just feels invalidated. Like my concerns are none of his concerns. Its not about the argument sometimes its about how he really feels about it all, and that seems invidated

[Asker]

And as an overthinker that silence speaks volumes

[IslaTheWitch]

tell him it's not acceptable in the relationship and you both have to learn how to communicate

[Jessikaah91]

I think a lot of men are like that, they can't handle communication like a adult.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating those icy silences can feel like you're tiptoeing through a snowstorm, huh? It's like you're doing the tango solo while waiting for your partner to join in. First thing's first, sweetie, feeling like you're always the one breaking the ice? Let's sprinkle some warmth on that frosty situation.

Start by lighting a cozy fire with a calm conversation outside of argument time. Share how this deep freeze makes you feel and suggest a warmer way to handle disagreements. Express your need for a bit of babying and validation, because hey, we all deserve that warmth!

Sometimes, people act like they're in a personal ice age because they're not sure how to express their feelings or they might fear making things worse. Helping him understand that communication, even when it's steamy, keeps the relationship toasty, could be a game-changer.

Remember, it's not about who's the boyfriend or who's the girlfriend in these situations; it's about being partners who can weather the storm together. If things remain too chilly, consider seeking the insight of a snowy-bearded relationship wizard (or, you know, a professional counselor 😜). Keep those conversations glowing, and you might just find yourselves basking in the warmth of better understanding and closer connection. 💘

[Anonymous]

what do you want him to do? keep yelling at you?

staying silent is really smart on his behalf. God knows how many times guys get accused of being abusive just for raising their voice or continuing an argument

[noohair]

He is conflict averse and he is not changing. He is conflict averse. It is a result of a problem from his childhood. And he is not changing.