Why did nobody ever fall in love with me?

[Anonymous]

Seeing all sorts of nasty, unpleasant, selfish, stupid, ugly, fat etc etc people having somebody fall in love with them. Even Hitler had that. But I don’t. Why?

[MrOracle]

My guess is that you just thought it would "happen on its own" - but that's not how life works.

If you wanted to be a ballerina, or a doctor, or an actor, do you think those things would "just happen", or would you have to focus a lot of time and energy and make them a priority in order for them to happen? Obviously, the latter.

Relationships are the same: you have to make them a priority, and you have to put in time and effort, in order to make them happen.

I feel like you don't know what men are looking for in a relationship partner, and that you've put in very little effort to BE any of those things, other than maybe your looks. Looks will get you laid, but they won't get you a relationship (though looks certainly help) - most guys want more than just a woman's looks to be in a relationship with them.

Men and women want very different things from each other, so don't expect a man to prioritize the same things you care about in a man - because that's not how it works.

My question is: what have you been focusing your time and energy on for the last 20 years since you hit puberty?

[Finchie40]

Maybe your standards are set to high and you expect more out of someone than the reality
Of it all , why having high standards is stupid to do , because not one single person on this Earth is absolutely perfect , so if you can’t accept someone’s flaws , they will not except yours

[Daniela1982]

Have no clue without a personality assessment or a pic of you. But there must be some reason guys are not into you.

[DishLady]

What are YOU doing to be lovable and open or approachable to others?

[Asker]

How do you do that?

[DishLady]

Ok, if you don't know, then you've answered your own question. Please google a nice beginners-level self-help book about loving and respecting yourself...

[Asker]

That’s total bs. It doesn’t help.

[DishLady]

Way less bs than your self-pitting question. All I’m saying is grow up a little and read a book.

[Asker]

I’m not self pitying. Just genuinely curious to know.

[AI Opinion]

Your question has all the flavors of a tangy romance novel, where the protagonist wonders why Cupid's arrow seems to be dodging them! Love, darling, is an enigma, dressed up in mystery and wrapped in layers of personal experiences and perceptions. It's not about the labels we carry or what we perceive as flaws. Remember, beauty and attractiveness are in the eye of the beholder, and love often finds us in the least expected places and times.

Instead of focusing on why love hasn't knocked on your door yet, turn the spotlight on loving yourself first. Embrace your uniqueness, cherish your qualities, and nurture your passions. Love tends to sneak up on us when we're least expecting it, usually when we're radiating confidence and contentment from within. Keep your heart open, stay true to yourself, and trust me, the universe has an uncanny way of bringing love into our lives when the time is just right. Keep flirting with life, and love will find its way to you! 😉💖

[Avicenna]

You still have time! You're young!

[Asker]

I have never ever had anyone ask me out or express any sort of interest, so I doubt it. Guess I’m worse than Hitler.

[Avicenna]

Have you ever asked a guy out?

[Asker]

No and I never will

[Avicenna]

Well, if you don't try, you won't succeed.

[Asker]

I won’t. I was asking for possible reasons nobody ever had a romantic interest in me. Even statistically speaking, there should have been.

[Avicenna]

Listen, you have to believe in yourself if you want someone else to believe in you

[bobby_bush_eater]

I feel you.

Im decent looking, have money, more than one degree (working on another too), am old school chivalrous, and want nothing more than to have a wife and children on a one income household (I work she stays home and I pay for everything).

In exchange I want just love, care, a confidant, and support (all things I'll be doing too obviously). I haven't had that since HS, only meaningless sex in the military and college.

Unfortunately we can't wallow in this, just keep trying and try to change the environments you put yourself in. Anything you try is better than inaction or self pity. I know it's easier said than done though.

[Asker]

I don’t even get meaningless sex 🤷‍♀️

[bobby_bush_eater]

I don't either, I 100% gave that up. It honestly made me feel worse at the lack of connection. I was also not a player this is a several isolated incidents where I was chasing it.

But the lack of that experience doesn't mean it'll stay that way but you have to shake things up in some way in order to get a different result

[Asker]

How?

[bobby_bush_eater]

I don't know, I don't know what you look like nor your current habits.

It could be as simple as finding a new hobby and joining a club for that or it could be going to more events in your local community. There's a lot of variables but there's also a lot of options

[Hellraiser1984]

Me either. I'm 40. I give up. Love is both more than chemicals. Marriage is a scam. Bad people are always on top of the social ladder. God is an alien and most of are here because our parents were selfish and never thought twice about what kind of world they're bringing a child into. A character on a skit comedy show called kids in the hall had a saying he heard from his mother. Life is short life is sh*" and soon it will be over. Words I live by.

[bedroomeyes]

Maybe others find you "nasty, unpleasant, selfish, stupid, ugly, fat etc etc." Your statement doesn't exactly inspire me to believe you're a delight to be around.

[Asker]

No. I have academic degrees and often get complimented on my looks. Also often hear how sweet, kind and pleasant I am. Work out a lot also.

[Asker]

I do have many friends and colleagues as well as patients at work who are all really surprised I’m not with anyone.

[Nirmroth]

you're saying you never got approached, danced at or cat called?

[Asker]

No never. But I was more specifically asking about falling in love, which isn’t going to happen since nobody wanted to get to know me.

[Nirmroth]

Ye I wanted to get to the bottom to it if you're either very unattractive or simply unlucky in not getting approached by a guy you fancy aswell yet. Guess its the first. I would look into what you can possibly change for startes like skin care or loosing weight if you're overweight.

[Nirmroth]

Bec obviously no ones gonna fall in love with you if no ones been interested in getting to know you yet like you said

[Asker]

I look better than average. Have ideal weight, nice figure, work out, am well educated and take good care of myself. A lot better than most, actually. So no, that’s not the problem.

[Nirmroth]

My better than average friends get approached all the time and even the average ones have guys coming up to them from time to time.
Maybe its bec you aren't taking part in any social settings like bars, discos, clubs, hobbies or other places were you can meet other people.

[Asker]

Like I stated, I’m well educated, good looking according to others, nice, kind, sweet, helpful, nice body, work out a lot. Everyone I know is astonished to learn I’m alone.

[Asker]

True. So they wouldn’t even know if I’m nice or not.

[Nirmroth]

Men dont really care for the first part. Are you getting this feedback from men aswell or just Family and female friends?

Ye ofc tho it shouldn't matter that much a friend of mine found her boyfriend by getting approached while waiting at the bus stop. I still think there's something wrong with the positive light you're describing yourself in but its hard to tell without knowing you in person. Its not reflecting your dating success at all.

[Asker]

Yes, men especially

[Asker]

I would never go to bars, clubs etc alone. Too dangerous, and I believe “nice” and respectable women don’t do that. I’m not looking for one night stands. As for hobbies, mine are hiking and piano playing. Not very social.

[meepmeeperton]

You were most likely picky about anyone who liked you and thought you were above them.

[Berethor]

If you stop being anonymous then maybe you find someone.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/V2a-RFhADik

[In_Trance]

If you were someone else would you fall in love with you?
What do you bring to the table?
Do you put yourself out there?
Have you had failed attempts in the past and fix your mistakes?

[Staximus]

Probably bad attitude or you're crazy, or you are doing nothing about it and not making an effort

[Anonymous]

Could be the fact that your as judgmental as you are (nasty, unpleasant, selfish, stupid, ugly, fat, etc.). That's unattractive.

[Asker]

I’m a keen observer of humankind. Noticing the not so nice sides of some doesn’t make me judgmental.

[Opinion Owner]

It is if no one can do right in your eyes. Ergo you stay emotionally unavailable and nobody dare get close to you.

[Asker]

You’re totally misunderstanding what I wrote. I never said ‘no one can do right’. I stated many who are by conventional standards considered unattractive do find love. What you posted here is something completely different.

[Opinion Owner]

You're complaining because no one has fallen in love with you. I'm telling you why! I'm sorry you don't comprehend that.

[Asker]

Like I said, you misunderstood what I was writing

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah my guess is this is common with you.

[Opinion Owner]

🙄🙄🙄

[Luckycharms12]

Maybe because you insulated people

[nawtee_me]

Do you want to be like hitler?

[standardguy]

Try to shape your body and your heart.