Why my boyfriend's female friend is obsessed with becoming my friend?

[Teedragonborn]

His friend is a weirdo by the way...

we have been together for 3 years in September of this year, we just had a baby ; months ago (im still healing and still feel gross) but his friendship with his male best friend of 3 years ABRUPTLY ended... dont know why. I asked he has nothing to say. Thats a red flag in itself. Now he's got a new coworker chick he's inviting over on weekends to play MTG with (card game *he is addicted to* he kept her secret until my baby shower and ever since he has been talking to her nonstop

So with that being said im already paranoid from being cheated on and feel crappy about my postpartum body (she's overweight to say it nicely so its not her its just me its my first baby.) , and im also sketched out by the fact that his friend just up and disappeared... so no i dont trust my boyfriend very much. At first it was jealousy but now i could care less the problem i have is the way he brought her around and how i expressed my diconfort but he contiues to not care. I dont care who his friends are If one makes me uncomfortable im going to voice that. He can hang with her call her , do whatever he wants i dont care. But why is she so obsessed with me? He stopped spending time with me when she came around and texts her at night past 12am every night but in expected to not be bothered? AITAH?

its not like i dont like her because of her friendship with him, its just that i dont like her she's not someone i usually hang around with. Im very selective of my "friends". Also he completely ignored me the first 3 times she came to MY house so.. yeah thats not suspicious at all! He defended her saying she's shy or whatever bs he made up. she's far from shy now.
She doesn't know me.. but whenever he invites her over she buys me my favorite Starbucks drink, she tells her boyfriend that we are best friends.. WE aren't lol. Why is my boyfriend and this girl so pressed for us to be friends? Im not going to force a friendship with someone i dont want one with.

[AI Opinion]

Diving right into the heart of the drama, aren't we? Love, it sounds like you’re in the middle of a soap opera with a side of mystery! Let's unravel this thread by thread. First off, your feelings? Totally valid. Healing from childbirth, navigating postpartum emotions, and dealing with relationship insecurities is like juggling flaming swords. You're doing amazing.

Now, onto this new gal pal orbiting your space. It's one thing to be friendly, but her intensity in befriending you could be her way of easing any guilt or awkwardness she feels about how close she’s getting to your boyfriend. It’s like she’s trying too hard to get your approval stamp. 💌

Your boyfriend's behavior is a buffet of red flags, and you're right to voice your discomfort. Communication is key, darling. You’ve spoken up, and if he’s tuning out, that’s on him, not you. The post-midnight texting marathons? A no-go in the book of relationship respect.

Her buying you Starbucks and declaring a bestie status without your consent? That feels like trying to butter you up, but without the genuine connection, it just leaves a slippery mess. Trust your gut; you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't vibe with. Your circle, your choice. And guess what? You're not the antagonist here for wanting some boundaries.

The mission, should you choose to accept it, involves a heart-to-heart with your beau about boundaries, respect, and where you both stand. If all else fails, remember, your happiness and wellbeing, along with your little one’s, are the priority. Keep your head up, love. You've got this! 💖

[Teedragonborn]

Thank you sis 💖

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend agreed ages ago to keep the friends we had before getting into a relationship, any new friends of the opposite sex should be our mutuals. It’s the most comfortable and respectful. I think you’ve made peace with the situation because you personally deem her unattractive, but not every man is picky like that. I mean you put on weight after the baby and he isn’t judging, telling you to “snap back” and content with how you are now. To me, that says he’s not a judgmental or shallow guy and honestly he shouldn’t be, like someone’s appearance should not always take away from core values and compatibility two people can share. So I’m not telling you this to make you insecure, I think it’s great that you currently are not. I’m just saying not to write her off because you don’t think she’s his type and maybe what you’re feeling is a deeper intuition than you are aware of.


I don’t know if you’re on tiktok but just go on there and look up the love triangle between Kayla, Toxic and Fly. Toxic is Fly’s baby mom, Kayla got a crush on Fly, started coming around making content with him, tried getting close to toxic and their kid, only for her to start liking him, get pregnant now acts like she did nothing wrong. Women can be so trifling with men they want. Be careful.

[Teedragonborn]

Ha well sadly he was on thin ice a year ago im about to take a hammer and crack it lol 😂 im not a stick arounder.

[BetaBucks]

Your feelings in your post are completely valid, but I think you should appreciate the effort she is putting in for you. It's legitimately the most respectful thing she can do, if she's going to have a friendship with him. She should be a little more respectful of boundaries too, based on what you wrote.

This is just my opinion here, but if I had to guess, I'd think she's lonely and can't get a boyfriend, so she is afraid of losing her friendship with your boyfriend. That's why she's trying so hard to make you like her. It sounds like your boyfriend needs a friend too, especially after losing his other friend.

Also just my opinion, but as his partner, you have the right to veto opposite-sex friendships (and same-sex if they're criminals or addicts or something). And if your partner doesn't respect the veto, you have the right to end the relationship.

[Teedragonborn]

Well it gets better she brought her boyfriend from Colorado over and he moved in with her just a few days ago... that was FAST. Lol my boyfriend kept calling me by her name that whole visit and her boyfriend who is gross kept staring at me. My man is focused on her, her man is focused on me. Now im just observing but i dont do this weird swinger stuff cuz thats what it feels like to me. Also this girl just popped up for me a few weeks ago so this is all very quick and weird. The whole thing is weird becuase i have never seen this in my life and then why as soon as she came around we COMPLETELY stopped having sex, completely stopped talking to me, kissing whatever else is normal... texting her in wee hours of the night and during the day while im talking to him... somethings off or the timing was perfect.