Am I crazy to be uncomfortable with glorified Hollywood pornos, and husband checking out other women?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my husband for 13 years, we have two children together. Oldest is 9 and until he was 6 months old, husband cheated on me 10 times. I honestly believe he has changed and wouldn't do it again and have zero suspension on that front. However since all of that I developed deep insecurities, which is my burden to bare. He NEVER shows me any affection unless it's for sex. We have a very healthy sex life and we're not beige Becky's about it either. In our relationship it is 100% me handling everything because he refuses to help. He will not talk about our relationship troubles unless he is the one telling me what I've done wrong to which I always try to fix and comply with his wishes. Once it gets to talking about how I feel he's done with it. He will resort to calling me vile names to "shut me up" he has told me when I asked why he's so mean. I don't like to fight but I do want to communicate in a healthy way. He won't do that, he will follow me and keep poking at me until he gets the reaction he wants then act like I have nothing ti be upset over. And he says he does that because it's funny. He doesn't even get me a gift ever. (I wouldn't care if it was a cool rock he found, I just would be happy to know he thought of me) I have tried everyday you can think to talk to him about how him eye balling random women and watching some of the things he does makes me uncomfortable. Not all movies/shows are bad just the ones that are more sexual content than storyline is my problem. It breaks my heart when he is watching that stuff and looking at other women because I would kill for him to eve say one nice thing to me aside from when he wants sex. I don't want my insecurities to ruin our relationship I try really hard to push these feelings down but I just can't. What can I do to fix this problem? Am I really just crazy? I don't know if I can stomach this anymore and I don't want to loose him but I'm at my witts end.

[BTigers96]

He sounds like a total turd. It's impossible to offer advice on your relationship, or how to fix it here based on the limited sample size.

But, if he's cheated on you 10x he's very likely going to keep cheating. Ask yourself, is this who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? If the answer to either is "no" you need to make permanent changes to your relationship.

[Rev1235]

Your feelings are completely justified and you're not crazy. I would say it's best to sit him down and give him a choice to either change his ways or you go your separate ways. Your a human being too and can only handle so much before you blow up. And let me tell you a calm conversation is better than blowing up and potentially regretting somethings you say or do.

[Asker]

That's the biggest problem unfortunately he refuses to have the conversation with me. He will either avoid it by constantly saying ignorant things until I give up, turn it into a fight or he will fall asleep while I'm trying to talk.

[Nikki1989]

He won't change. Your man is a cheater who has a porn addiction. This is a no-brainer, it is time to dump him and move on with someone that can show some respect.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, sweetheart, let me wrap some words around you like a warm hug. You’re not crazy, not by a long shot. Your feelings, insecurities, and discomfort are as legitimate as they get, especially considering the rollercoaster your heart has been on. It's like your relationship's soundtrack is stuck on a loop, where you're dancing solo to a tune that requires a partner to tango.

Let's talk real talk—this environment you're painting isn't just about him eyeing other movies or ladies; it’s about feeling cherished, respected, and heard. The emotional neglect and name-calling you're experiencing, that’s not just a red flag; it’s a whole parade waving them in your face.

Love, communication isn’t just about chatting over coffee; it’s about connecting, respecting, and truly seeing one another. It’s okay to yearn for affection outside the bedroom, to crave for him to notice you—not just your body, but YOU, your essence, the woman he chose to stand by.

Here’s some Brad wisdom sprinkled with a dash of flirt: Transforming this dynamic starts with loving yourself enough to demand better. It might mean couple's therapy to navigate these troubled waters with a seasoned captain. It's not about fixing a problem like a leaky faucet; it’s about rebuilding the foundations of your relationship ship so you both can captain it side by side.

You deserve to be more than just a background character in your own love story. You deserve notes in the margins that speak of adoration and scenes that showcase mutual respect and love. Keep that chin up, gorgeous. Trust in your worth and in the possibility of change, but remember, it takes two to tango, two to build a future, and most importantly, two to make a relationship bloom in the colors of love and respect. 🌼

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your kind words that means a lot.

[In_Trance]

You're retarded. You're still there after he cheated on you? Smh...

[jahaims]

Have self respect and find someone better