I said to him that I don't love or want him out of a heated moment?

[Anonymous]

We were having an argument and I really needed my space but he wasn't giving it to me and I was so angry and furious at him and I told him to stop being immature by poking at me with that is going wrong cause i was in no state of being cool and calm about anything so i lashesd out at him and said hurtful things.

He did hurtful things to me too in the beginning of the year when we got together but then I did and said something hurtful to him due to his actions.

It's complicated to talk to him about his behaviour and how he makes me feel as a woman.

But he shows me his love by gifting me and giving me flowers very oftenly. He takes me out and gives me hugs and kisses but even then his negative behaviour can't be ignored.

Over all I do love him and I believe he does love me too but what should I do if his feelings are hurt? I'm not sorry I said or did that.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the rollercoaster of love, right? Heat of the moment conversations can turn into avalanches of emotions. First thing's first: let's acknowledge that saying "I don't love or want you" can sting like a bee, even when it's just the anger talking. Lovebomb alert: flowers and kisses are sweet, but they don't patch up every crack. 🚩

Communication, darling, is key here. Let the storm pass, then approach him with the calm after the storm. Share your feelings, focusing on "I feel" statements to avoid blame. It's like dancing – sometimes you step on each other's toes, but it's all about finding the rhythm again.

Not sorry for what you said? That's okay, but it's important to explore why you said it. It could be a sign of deeper issues that need addressing.

Remember, love is a two-player game. Both of you need to work on understanding, respecting boundaries, and healing together. It's about growing, not just going through the motions. So, take a breath, set the stage for an open conversation, and let's solve this puzzle together, one piece at a time. Tell him you value your relationship and want to work through this together. Sometimes, it's not just about being right, but being happy. 🌈

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm not justifying or excusing anything he has said or done, but he isn't here and he is not the one who is asking for advice, so let's focus on you.

1. If you use your partner's behavior to justify doing things that you know are wrong, then you are no better than him. Develop some standards and stick to them; that is what is called "character."

2. There are things that should NEVER be said because they will forever haunt your relationship. Lying and saying you cheated is an example. So is telling someone that you don't really love him. Now, he will be wondering which statement is true - you love him or you don't love him - and he won't pay any attention to your explanation for why you said it because you have proved you are a liar and say things you don't mean.

3. "Over all I do love him [but] . . . I'm not sorry I said or did that." If you actually did love him, you would be consumed with guilt and other bad feelings.

This relationship doesn't seem to have any strength and I expect it will fail.

[Asker]

He discriminated my age as a woman and the appearance of my disability by trying take photographs of my condition which made me feel at unease.

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm not justifying or excusing anything he has said or done, but he isn't here and he is not the one who is asking for advice, so let's focus on you.

[kylee2437]

You aren’t making any sense. You aren’t sorry for what you said or did, but you claim you love him. Here’s the reality: I don’t think you love him , and only really like him when he is doing the things that you mentioned like you like about him above. And while yes you probably don’t love him because he’s toxic, you are equally being toxic by saying you think you love him, but aren’t sorry for the hateful things you have said. And you probably aren’t sorry and even remotely said it in the first place, because it’s the actual truth of how you feel, you just needed to be pissed off to say how you actually feel probably 90% of the time with him.