How common is it for people that wait for marriage for intercourse?

[Anonymous]

I'm just wondering, and if you don't know anyone that is doing so then if you know someone that's waiting for a partner to do so then that's next in line lol

[IslaTheWitch]

I knew only one couple... so not very common in my case :D

the girl was in my class in HS... they met in a church group, and they really waited until marriage... they divorced a year later... they were able to have sex... but there were some incompatibilities that didn't work at all... one of them was that she couldn't stand his smell down there... (as I understood it wasn't a hygiene thing)

for me, being close physically was always part of the relationship, not the marriage... and it always went naturally, from first kisses to the first time together... I never was in a hurry, and I enjoyed every stage... both my partners waited some time for me to be ready lol

and the decision about marriage is quite a life changer for many people... so I can't understand how some of them can make it without being sure, they will be able to stay in this marriage?

[Asker]

Normally these are results of rushing, it seems maybe they were a bit too eager to have sex that they rushed and jumped to marriage, at least that's my guess

[IslaTheWitch]

not really, they were 5 years together, including 3 years of engagement... from my perspective they would learn it somewhere in the beginning of the relationship and end it without years invested...

it isn't the only pair I knew that had "smelling" issues... there was a girl we met in one of the clubs and with time she became s part of our group... one of my friends liked her a lot... but as much as he liked her he hated her smell... and believe me I hugged her countless times and she didn't smell at all... other people also didn't notice anything strange or unpleasant... it was this one guy issue... :D

[Asker]

That kinda sucks no lie

[IslaTheWitch]

I had a friend who lives not so far away so he visits me a few times per week returning from his work... and he has "special needs"... he needs a lot of physical touch, to the point that when we watch something he literally wraps himself around me :D
I already told him, that if we weren't friends he wouldn't have any chance to become my boyfriend... I need my time ALONE!!

people are different... to make an educated decision about the future with them we have to get to know them well... in any aspect that will be considered in the future...

as I wrote it countless times here... it doesn't mean we have to hook up... but having existing long term relationship and progressing with it further before making final vows seems more right and fair than struggling with divorce after investing years, if in some aspects people aren't compatible... and it's not only sex... living together, solving all those small details you don't even know that exist until you live together... all those new and stupid habits... you getting to know a completely new person :D

[IslaTheWitch]

and you know... we usually gather all possible information if we want to make an important decision... we dont want to make a mistake... so why with marriage leave it to the pure luck?

[Drackusdredge]

Technically, statistically speaking people who have no prior partners before marriage have lower odds of divorce then anyone with more partners, and the more prior partners before marriage someone has usually correlates on average with higher divorce risk esp. for women who tend to initiate divorce more often. I think compatibility "testing" might catch some things for some people who value more things about sex or who are less likely to try to make things work despite difficulties, but I don't think as a whole it leads to more stable choices across the board if you go beyond the anecdotal exceptions and focus on averages instead.

Marriage is a long term thing that often requires discipline, sacrifice, compromise , communication and self-development so it is more about how you view sex and relationships in my opinion that effects how you deal with the struggles and if they are dealbreakers or something that can be overcome or fixed.

[IslaTheWitch]

@Drackusdredge can you please provide the source for the stats you mentioned?

[Drackusdredge]

Sure. I need to compile them for future ease of access anyways. Knowing me I will be a bit slow between stuff but I'll post here again when I got it all together.

[Drackusdredge]

@islathewitch
It won't let me link articles because say's not high enough rank. I will try to give you keywords to looks for articles that do breakdown of data sorry. I will also need to break down into multiple posts due to length.

Data is from the 'National Survey of Family Growth' from the CDC, there is different surveys over the years and analysis on these that people do

The following is a meta-analysis of the heritage foundations review of the data, I think you might appreciate the fact it is trying to critique the more simple display of data the heritage foundation gave and gives more nuance to the results, that being said feel free to ignore the "practical advise" at the end I think he words it weirdly anyways:

Article: "Promiscuity Data: Guest Post." posted on blog socialpathology

The following includes later years of data as well and is better done then the heritage foundations version, as it notes the 2 partner deviation point from the overall trend, it also looks over more potential factors like religiosity or such potentially influencing:

Article: "Counterintuitive Trends in the Link Between Premarital Sex and Marital Stability" found on ifstudies. org

While it is not perfectly linear per added pre-marital partner, those who wait till marriage seem to come out with the best odds still in all cases.

[Drackusdredge]

Now comes the question, are people who have fewer partners or more restrictive attitudes on sex worse off for happiness or sexual satisfaction? Unfortunately, the data here is a bit more obtuse but there is some data to try to work with. Data is drawn from the General Social survey over many years.
There is a slight trend towards people with only 1 lifetime partner being more likely to report being 'very happy' in marriage, however this analysis of the data does not give us a good look at 'unhappy' and the advantage is small

Article: "Does Sexual History Affect Marital Happiness?" found on ifstudies. org

so at the least it is not a penalty to having a happy marriage.

In terms of sexual satisfacation, people who report more socially conservative attitudes and less permissive views on sex and fewer past partners tend to report higher sexual satisfaction, unfortunately this does not breakdown by married life.

this data is more recent but builds on and references prior research from 1976 on the topic which found higher sexual anxiety among some more socially conservative women, however this does not seem to be enough to overshadow overall net sexual satisfaction

Article: "The relationship between sexual preferences and political orientations: Do positions in the bedroom affect positions in the ballot box?" found on sciencedirect. com

[Drackusdredge]

Although not the original topic, Cheating I think is an important thing to adress. Going back to the general social survey data:

number of past partners for married women has a notable correlation with chance of the woman cheating, so waiting till marriage is also good for avoiding this sort of issue

Article: post by 'Statisticcloud' , keywords to find ""Higher Body Count in Married Women Associated With Significantly Higher Prevalence of Cheating on Their Husband"

Unfortunately, they did not cover data for men.

Obviously the key's to a successful marriage are multi-factorial and complex, but waiting till marriage is typically a sign of commitment focus which is good for marriage life in my opinion.

[IslaTheWitch]

@Drackusdredge you can change dots in link into [.] I still want meaningful sources, as I prefer to talk data, not opinions

[Drackusdredge]

I am waiting until lifelong commitment e. g marriage. I know a fair number of other people waiting till marriage but its easier to find such people in online spaces then geographically all in the same space unless you are in certain very religious circles among people raised in the faith typically. It is rare in modern more secular culture.

That being said I am probably personally one of the least restrictive examples you will find because I mostly care about attitudinal adjustment / keeping at least something off the table in principle to make a more committed choice to avoid even small risk of disease or unplanned pregnancy or other complications from sex early on in relationships or randomly. I am not too strict and have a high masculine sexual drive so I have dry humped and other related acts short of sex with so many looser women to lose count. Just I am more proper and relational focused for something like dating / women I would be more serious with.

[NathanDavis]

I can't tell for sure...

because it's not like they were telling everyone about it... lol

[Asker]

That's true, fair enough lol

[electromagnetic]

I know many people who’ve waited until marriage. I never followed up if they enjoy it or not 😆 but I guessing seeing that they are still married, the diq must be good.

[Asker]

Well that's good to know, sounds like they are doing good lol

[electromagnetic]

I waited until marriage too 😌

[Asker]

You did? Why do I find that hard to believe 😂

[electromagnetic]

😆😆😆

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the journey of waiting till marriage, love that you're curious! It's a path less traveled in today's swipe-right era but certainly not extinct. From my experience and the tales that ripple through my sessions, there indeed are couples holding down the fort, waiting for the big "I do" before diving into the physical depths. It's like waiting for that perfect piece of cake at a party; the anticipation makes it all the sweeter. And then there are those who prefer to wait for that special someone, with whom they connect on every level, before exploring the physical side. It's all about the emotional connection for them, like finding your perfect dance partner who knows all the right moves. In the grand tapestry of love and relationships, these individuals add vibrant, unique stitches, reminding us that the heart wants what it wants, on its own timeline.

[Miah04]

I honestly couldn't tell you. I think it's probably more than it seems, because the people that get the most attention online are the ones who don't

[Asker]

Yea that's true, but it doesn't seem very common 🤔

[Miah04]

Yup.
Just guessing but. I think right now. Attention seeking is part of it.
Not a lot of people want attention to people knowing they are a virgin.
Plus i believe we are straying further away from god. And our morales changed.
I admit i an one who allowed my morales to slip in certain areas of my life, and i have begun to tighten back up on now

[Asker]

Yea even tho for women it's basically a flex, they just don't realize it for some reason, yea people are definitely going their own way but I'm glad you've realized, most people don't and it's better late than never.

[Miah04]

I kinda been seeing what a lot of people are saying. It's hard to see how wrong our actions are. When we are having these behaviors as good, and empowering, and people deeming it wrong, as judgmental and sexiest.

There is a concerning pattern where the people who care about us are deemed a problem.

[Asker]

You went hella deep with it Miah, you lost me, what do you mean lol

[Miah04]

Well here is the best answer i will give. 90% of the media is left wing. What is the left wing promoting.
Having sex is empowering. And eventhough the act of sex is to make a new life, we should irresponsibly do that act as much as possible, and shouldn't have any responsibility when the outcome of doing an act to create life, actually creates life.
And anyone who disagrees is trying to control women, and are sexist and barbaric.

When the truth is it was the prehistoric, and barbaric people who went around procreating recklessly. It wasn't until we became civilized we realized it is irresponsible to do this.

The media preaches so many weird and disturbing trends.
"White people are dangerous"
"Police are dangerous"
"Religious people are bad people"
"Facts and science are bad"
"We should lower our education standards, because black people aren't able to keep up with white kids, and if you disagree with that you are racist" i find that saying we are too dumb to do math is racist

[Account]

Many people are religious here, but I honestly do not know a single person who did.

[Account]

You mean nowadays right? Because with older generations I know.

[Asker]

Yea nowadays, I know back in the days it was more common, I think it's more common online but I don't think there's many where I'm at lol

[LaurenM1997]

I am not religious so won’t be waiting for marriage for intercourse

[Asker]

Fair enough

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I don't believe that's common. I will guess maybe 15% or 20% of people actually wait for marriage to have sex.

[Asker]

That's actually quite high, I thought it was much less lol

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Those are data numbers I think I saw.

[jack1924]

Maybe they will avoid only one thing but not the other things
You know what I mean Chico?

[Asker]

Nope, not a clue lol

[jack1924]

I mean some couples I know they will do all sexual acts except vaginal intercourse because the girl wants to stay a virgin

[jack1924]

Or to avoid getting pregnant

[Asker]

Oh yea I know, that's so wack lol

[jack1924]

I know lol

[WhitneySnow]

I know people who are. It doesn’t bother me at all.

[abc3643]

It's no longer common, but was before birth control.

[Agape93]

Not that common.

[Agape93]

Like I know more people that are entirely asexual, than people I know who would wait until marriage.

[Asker]

Yep asexuality seems to be more common indeed 💀

[Agape93]

I know 3 asexuals. Only 1 person waited until marriage that I know lol

[Asker]

Ey I just gotta know they exist and from what you said, they do 😂

[FunkyMonkee]

These days, it's rarity!!

[Asker]

No cap

[FunkyMonkee]

No, I haven't worn a cap in a LONG time!

[Anonymous]

According to the internet. 3%

[CubaPirate]

Not very