What do you think of waiting until marriage for sex?

Question

I have heard that some people that this whole idea is impractical but I think that if its the right person, they would be willing to wait. What do you guys think?

lumos · Accepted Answer

That ship has already sailed for me lol. I don't really think there's a point in waiting for marriage, other than religious reasons (which are... pointless). Anyway, sex is not something I've ever wanted to wait until marriage to have. I've just never thought it was THAT big of a deal. I mean sure, it's incredible once it's with the right person and there's an emotional connection etc etc, but you can have all that without actually being married to the person. I think people are putting sex on this gigantic pedestal where it really shouldn't be. I've never bought into this whole "pure virgin" BS because quite frankly, sex has nothing to do with ~*~purity~*~ and being a good/moral person. Sex is sex. Let's just leave it at that, lol.
With that being said, if someone wants to wait until marriage to have sex, then that's fine. I'm not the sex police, people can do whatever they want with their bodies. I only think it's stupid when:
- people who want to wait until marriage expect EVERYONE ELSE to also wait until marriage (and the ones who don't will burn in hell for sinning blah blah)
- when a person expects their wife (or husband, but this is a more common expectation among men) to be a virgin and wait until marriage, while they have already have sex (i. e. if the person is being a hypocritical douchelord)
That's it. Those will pretty much be the only times I roll my eyes at a person who brings up this subject.
People should simply stop judging each others' sex lives. Stop judging a people for having sex regularly, and stop judging people for wanting to wait. Either way they're really not doing anything wrong, as long as they're safe and consenting.

Ananchor · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's so much about being married or not as much as being ready. The assumption of be ready to have sex the second you're MSN and wife is false. One piece of paper is not going to make you ready, that decision you have to make for yourself.
I didn't wait for marriage. I was 19, then I was with the guy for 2 years and we were engaged. But he treated me badly so I left him. I dated around for a few years, never really dsting any guy that long, I wasn't really feeling it. Then I met my guy now and I'm so happy with him. Would it of made it better if we had both wait for eachother? It probably would of been a little less messy. But the experience we both gained in previous relstionships made our love making insanely awesome! I don't think I would of wanted to wait until I was 24 to have sex. We always joke that if we could travel back in time we'd gind eachother younger and get together younger. But not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone great young. Sometimes we got to kiss a lot of frogs first :P
I fully think you should make this decision yourself. Let no one influence you. You know yourself, you know when you're ready :)

AnayaWilliams · Accepted Answer

Its up to the person and if they decide to wait or not. As for me I am Christian and I was taught to wait until marriage. Just because I don't want to give it to the wrong person and then end up regretting it, because once its going its gone and you can't get it back. I want to lose it with someone special and someone that I see a future with. I see a lot of girls lose it at young ages at my school and then they end up regretting it and wish they had waited for the one. I think it is a very valuable thing that should not be given away so freely. Save it for the right person, or perhaps a person you can see yourself with for the rest of your life. Don't just toss it around like its a basketball because its not. Some people lose it at a young age other prefer to wait till marriage. I personally am fine with waiting, that's how I was taught. You have to get to know a person first, you can't just know nothing about them and then just decide to lose it with them, you'll just end up getting broken.

Hariss · Accepted Answer

Marriages are proof that you are serious for relationship and u worth and deserve a girl and is ready to take relation to next level and is not fucking around for free sex in disguise of love, marriages works as filter who retain people who do it for fun and temporary enjoyment, looking for some pleasurable moments, who likes the fun part not the responsibility part of relation, it practically makes sense because at least it justify intentions, and shows that person is committed enough, unless anyone can come and clain that ththey loves u so much and after having sex they would fly, but temporary fun lookers will not be ready for marriages, as they will opt for other easy options, there are some girls who are also involved in fun part this piece of advice is obviously not for them as i know they will not be agree with my opinion, and thr sex focused guy will not be agree with me as well, if u think everyone is free to do what he desires irrespective of whether it is right or wrong, then thief would desire for stealing and rapist would desire? u know what i mean.

G-Daz · Accepted Answer

Definitely commendable. Its a lot harder to not have sex so to be able to restrain oneself is a struggle. You'll then have to sustain your relationship on the content of character rather than through sex

KäseChäe · Answer

First off: I'm not a virgin. But, I see the value in waiting. Mairrrage is not a legal document. It has historically been a committment between two people. Meaning if I want, I can get married tomorrow, but the ideology is, I'm inept to remain faithful for the rest of my life. Not what society has deemed of mairrage: I go to the cpjrthoise, sign a poece of paper, pay $30,000 for a ceremony, and get divorced six years and two kids later.

Think on these terms, and call me sentimental, maybe I am, but here's my view: when I look back on my first time, am I going to be fond of that memory? I want the first time I had sex to be with the person I am COMMITTED to, that way I never have the chance to regret giving it to some sank that left me two months into a relationship.

Sure maybe one of us sucks at having sex. Is she screwed because she will never have good sex? Of course not, because we are a committed couple who is open to discussion, like adults, about things we desire in our relationship.

There's no need to test drive a Bentley to make sure that it works, unless you don't have the money to pay for it In the first place.

godfatherfan · Answer

I can never understand women that do this. Your out of your mind. I would love to bet any woman that does this as much as she is willing to be that in 20 years you would go back in time and kick your own ass for thinking that way.
1) most marriages just don't last. All of us that are divorced said "well that won't be me". You don't always get a say in the matter. If it were up to me I would still be married. So you save yourself for that husband of yours then maybe in 2, 5, 10 or 30 years he tosses you out on your ass... wow... good thing you saved yourself.
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2) you might not be sexually compatible. I just broke up with a woman after 5 weeks together we just were not sexually compatible. there were other reasons but that was the biggest issue. I was willing to compromise. one for her, one for me... but she never let it be about me. so on to the next woman.
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Sex is a very important part of an adult relationship. It brings you physically and emotionally closer together. You are denying yourself a huge part if you keep that out of a relationship. It could be an issue that makes or breaks your marriage later. Because it isn't just about sex. it is the intimacy and closeness that is creates that can impact you in many other ways.

AleeshaS2 · Answer

If someone wants to wait until marriage up to them. In a way I can understand that mentality. Personally I choose abstinenc. Yeah sex is kind of special and kind of not a big deal and that not the reason I do it. I don't think sex itself is worth the wait. But I'd like to think that I would be 'worth the wait for some guy. When I was younger I was dumped/ cheated on more than once for ' not putting out' I was called a 'prude and ' stuck up'. So I like to take sex out of the initial relationship to test their sincerit. But until marriage? Depends on when ever both of us is ready. if it takes that long. fine. Let it be

MrBubbles · Answer

Practicality doesn't have anything to do with it. God says to wait until you're married to have sex, and have sex with only to whom you're married. God is the ultimate authority on all things - what He says, goes. For those who don't want to live their lives in accordance with the will of God, that's their choice - and they'll pay for it. Heb. 13:4.

ds84reader · Answer

For some people sex is not important to them. For others it is really important. For some married couples, lots of sex is an important part of intimacy and for others not so much. Personally I think it is important to make sure you know what your needs are and to make sure you are with someone who is a good match. Otherwise you may find yourself unfulfilled but feeling like there is no way out that is compatible with being faithful and committed. Better to figure it out before marriage. Just my 2 cents.

kittylicks · Answer

Waiting until marriage is downright stupid. I am not going to be politically correct. This stupid notion came from religion to help quell lust. We are biologically made to want and need sex.

It's one of the most beautiful things a person can enjoy, and there are various people to enjoy it with, so why deny yourself that pleasure? Where is the logic? Who wants to live so unfulfilled?

And drilling into people that they need to wait until marriage does so much harm because we have the biological and natural urge for sex, so trying to convince people that they have to wait until marriage only leads to the eventual and risky behaviors in sex that result in harm. But if people didn't have idiots telling them they'll go to hell or need to wait for that one person, they could have enjoyed a healthy sex life w/o the unfounded reasons of guilt just because it's outside of marriage.

TedStar · Answer

When this phenomenon first started people were getting married in their teens and contraception was almost a myth. Practically back then it made a lot of sense. Nowadays it still makes some sense. a promise you make with your self is always good if you can keep it.! I just hope that anyone doing it for moral or religious grounds is not ignorantly/happily committing other sins or immoral acts and going back to the "but I'm waiting for marriage" to prove their sanctity

eugwara · Answer

I thought about this a lot. People always say, "If you love me then you will do (insert action)", or "If you truly love each other, its okay" but most of the time, you will almost never marry a high school crush. I think that if the couple is mature enough, then its okay, as long as it is consensual and the other is not pressured into it with something like the first quote. But, I don't really care what others do if it doesn't hurt anyone or affect me. I'll probably wait until I'm steady financially because I don't want to be a dad in high school or college, but financially steady doesn't mean married, so I guess I'll wait and see

meko8195 · Answer

Actually, I think you shouldn't wait unless you are very religious. (sometimes someones religious beliefs can make them feel worthless if they don't wait. Which I personally find ridiculous.)
There are many things that make a relationship work. Intimacy is one them. Enjoying sex with your partner is important and you won't be able to enjoy it until you know what you AND your partner like. This involves practice. Even if you have sex with a guy who you don't end up marrying there should still be no regrets. Just be safe and learn what is best for you sexually. It'll make you happier in the long run.

ObviouslyBored · Answer

The basis makes sense. Be sure that the two of you have actual love and chemistry. Sex soul ties creating the illusion that chemistry is there When really it isn't. When the sex stops are the two of you still in love? Fortunately for me the marriage survived after 3 years sex less due to complications with childbirth. I have relatives that had premarital sex and their relationships FAILED miserably after the kid because he couldn't be faithful while she recovered. Sad but I think not having sex before marriage could really help.

CootiesInfection · Answer

its sort of like waiting and refusing to eat until late next week when you go to that fancy restaurant... i mean you COULD do it, it would suck and it doesn't sound practical and good luck finding someone to do it with you because if you think you're going to find someone who's going to physically starve themselves exclusively for the hope of eating something later then they're probably as crazy in the head as you are. thats why i always roll my eyes when abstinent girls complain that guys cheated on them, i mean seriously who's going to wait 3 years for a seat at a fancy restaurant that might not even be all that good anyway when they can just hit a cheap pizza joint and have a slice this very moment instead? that slut you discard as "easy" has had 100% more of your boyfriends penis than you have, and you let that happen.

Skadouchebag · Answer

1) If they're going to break up with you just because you wouldn't let them in your pants, then they obviously never loved you in the first place. 2) Check out the comments I (sin-and-love) made here:  3)

hourglass17 · Answer

I used to find the idea sweet and of course even now if my partner wanted to wait I would, but otherwise it's a bit impractical, I think you should know if our compatible in all ways before you spend the rest of your life with someone, because if your not sure before it could lead to an awkward marriage and maybe even divorce, I'm not saying its ok to go sleep with every guy you like but if you are planning on a serious thing with someone special it's better to know before hand, personally

Anonymous · Answer

No way. Not ever. I dont want any nasty surprises on a night thats supposed to be the best of my life. www.buzzfeed.com/.../19-women-reveal-their-worst-sexual-experiences

I'd wait for 9 months- 1 year minimum to have sex for the first time, but I dont want to make a lifelog commitment to someone whos boring in bed who also point blank refuses to improve or someone who is prudish or has zero libido.

Down arrow me all you want but thats my opinion.

DaddyRollingStone · Answer

Many people believe that waiting till marriage is a good idea.

But far less actually do it. There are plenty of benefits to your marriage for waiting to have sex, especially if you are a virgin.

I was on the fence about it until I read this article. It's written for a younger male audience but I'm sure girls could find some good ideas from it too: www.artofmanliness.com/.../

sammy_31 · Answer

Still a goal of mine, hope I can make it that far. I always said I wanted to make it special once I a married to the love of my life (hopefully) but I won't jump off a bridge if I don't wait as long as we both are happy and know we respect and care for each other then there isn't nothing wrong with that, to me. I still would like to wait until marriage. :D

normalice · Answer

well, guys aren't really shamed by having sex, so the waiting for marriage thing is usually something only girls do. There are exceptions, of course. I don't really understand why shaming girls for sex is a thing, but alas it seems to be a popular thing.

KHaskins · Answer

No interest whatsoever in "hook ups." I was brought up in a "no-sex-before-marriage" environment, and I'm perfectly willing to wait for that, but really, my metric is "no-sex-before-love."

Anonymous · Answer

You are too young dear. You can get to know someone, but don't focus on sex or so. Later in your life when you finish your studies and get a job, you will meet different guys for sure. So keep waiting till marriage as s principle until you find the guy who is right for you or you think you are ok with it.

katedepp32 · Answer

doesn't make any sense to me.
why follow standars and old-fashioned ideas like that?
people should be able to do as they please!
if you like/love someone and you wanna be with him completely, then why wait?
waiting until marriage for sex is probably the worst decision for me.

Takada · Answer

I think it's stupid. How can they marry the person they haven't yet seen naked? How can they marry a person they've never experienced sexually? No matter what people say, sex is very important in a relationship and if the parts or desires aren't compatible, then it makes for a very unhappy relationship. Sex is just another way gauge people you're interested in. If sexual desires aren't fulfilled, then there will be a lot of bitterness and cheating, which leads to divorce.

Amagi82 · Answer

I'm frankly shocked by how many people on here think waiting until marriage to have sex is a good idea. That's a bunch of weird, outdated religious dogma from back in the day when people got married as teenagers. We have contraception now, and most people don't get married until significantly later. There's no good reason to wait, and a lot of good reasons not to.

fallingblaze · Answer

I think waiting till marriage is wise and a really sweet/cute idea. No STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, if your a virgin at least you won't regret it because you gave it to someone who loved you so much they married you and etc. It's not for everyone. I'd try to wait till marriage but yknow sh*t happens so I'd just wait till I'm ready, in the moment and I know for certain I love the guy and he loves me back

lucrecia3 · Answer

The right and best thing to do is wait u til marriage that's what God said that's how it should be plus when you mature you'll will see why right now u won get it and feel like it doesn't matter but when you find a good guy that has values and him going out with you depends of your reputation and if you are a virgin or not you will see what you missed plus you will feel proud of yourself that you waited and you have somthing to brag about that means you are not easy

renjisgirl12 · Answer

For me, I can't know that someone is 'the right person' without having some sort of sexual contact prior to marriage. Sex is a very important factor in my relationships and I need to know we're compatible in bed before making such a commitment. Having said that I'm not big on the idea of marriage so I'd probably have to abstain from sex for the rest of my life!

Illusive_Man · Answer

A very novel idea , I think... I just think I might be able to do it. After all I have been in the cocoon for 20 years , but just to be on the safe side , I'll need a waterfall.

pinkpunkpony · Answer

Honestly, waiting until marriage is a very respectable, great thing to do. It's rare to see in this day and age, and it's an honorable how to try and keep.

I was raised to wait until marriage, but I unfortunately broke that promise, and I'm not particularly proud of it, and I wish I had waited. I believe waiting for the right person is the right way to go.

AshleyMD · Answer

What is marriage anyway? It's basically only a legal document and there's no law saying you must have this legal document with a certain person in order to have sex with them. I will have sex with who I want, when I want, if I want and if the other person wants it as well.

oldanddecrepid · Answer

I have seem some newly weds not so happy because they waited... your sex life is a huge part of your relationship!

It would be awful to wait and the sex is continually horrible... it puts undo strain on a new marriage!

I say try it out and make sure the goods are good lol

oreodair · Answer

It makes more sense to wait until you find someone who you truly care about and are committing to (marriage) other than to just give it up at a random party or some shit like that. I mean your virginity is something you can never get back.. why waste it on someone you won't care about 2 years from now?

nert73 · Answer

Waiting for marriage. No question. Not even going to wait for my fiancee. We have to be married. That way if anything significant happens, it won't be a big problem because we're married and committed and can help each other. Lots less to worry about if you save it for marriage.

aloha23456 · Answer

I suppose Vote C is the best answer for me.. I mean not whenever I want but when it is right. Waiting until marriage is not always realistic. It might work for you.. but sometimes it is good to know what your partner likes before you commit for the rest of your lives..

Sara413 · Answer

I think it is unrealistic, but I do think that young people such as yourself should wait until you are emotionally mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. I did not have sex as a teenager and I am very thankful that I didn't. There are plenty of fun things you can do with a guy/girl who is special to you at your age that will lead to far less emotional damage/baggage than having sex will.

YolaMoore · Answer

Im 20 and dont want to get married for about another 10-ish years, and i am sexually active. I think its fine to have sex before marriage, i do not regret not waiting.
However i have sooooo much respect for people who do wait, i think it is such an attractive admirable decision, and it so true that when that DO have sex, it will be more meaningful.

SammyGurl · Answer

I always pictured myself waiting until after we were married, well things got hotter and hotter. One time I couldn't say no, then it was him with all the questions. We waited until after we both knew we were going to marry each other, I think that made the decision to go for it easier. Our intentions were there though. = }

Slavanna · Answer

Speaking from my very personal perspective, I'm a hormonal person. I am very physical and goddammit, orgasm just feels good. It's extremely bonding. Plus, if he has any kinks that I find absolutely undoable, I don't wanna find out after I've blown a few grand on a wedding party.

That said, whatever works for other people works for them and I have no say in their sex life.

baseballbtc3 · Answer

Personally I'm against the idea and the reason being is that I believe Sex is important for any couple. I believe it is brings couples closer, relieves stress, is extremely fun, builds trust and intamacy, Honestly the list goes on. So I believe a couple should have a fair ammount of sec before marriage because two people should be sexually compatible and happy with their sex lives together before commiting to marrige.

lorix · Answer

It's a beautiful idea. I personally could not do it.
My ex wanted to wait until marriage for sex. We dated for two and a half years. Mind you, I was 16-18 at the time too. Super horny. He was very catholic, I wasn't. This eventually kinda led to our breakup haha...

Okayyyy · Answer

I'm waiting until marriage. It's mostly because of a respect for myself and because of my religion. I also believe that if a guy really cared for me he would understand and respect my choice to wait.
The thing about "How would you know if you are sexually compatible?" If I haven't had sex with anyone before how would I know if it were good or bad or if we were 'compatible'.

Lunatanic · Answer

I like the idea of waiting till marriage. But, is it realistic or possible feat? Some people date over months or some for years, and never had sex? I think is good if you are protected so once you are married, you won't worry screaming "Oh My God! I am pregnant! What should I do?" Because at least you already married the guy and you are not worried of in some future and break up if it weren't.

Your_boss960 · Answer

Where I live, women get married anywhere from 18-22. And they all have happy marraiges that last.

So I'm going to wait until marraige. I'll probably get engaged in 4 years anway because that's what happens in my culture

PureBliss · Answer

I don't know anyone that has waited to have sex until marriage, but I don't think its a bad idea. It's everyone's person choice to make and what they think is right for them. No one should be judged or forced to think something is right or wrong. Everyone can have their own opinions on any subject. I personally love it too much to wait that long, but props to the people that do! More power to you!

Kaylove96 · Answer

They say it's safer if you wait until marriage, but I didn't wait. And my dad started telling me sex is for married people and if you do it when you're not married, you can get diseases. And I've seen young people who aren't married and pregnant. They can be single moms.

DamanMannn · Answer

Wait til Marriage...
Doing it before hand will just put your life into a pool of sins.

I lust everyday because I once thought my first would be my last.
hahaha, to be young and dumb.. sadly, still young.. and still a fucking moron.

jollygoodshow · Answer

Save your virginity until it's with someone you love. It makes losing it a whole lot more special. Unfortunately I was raped so I can't keep up with my own beliefs.

Anonymous · Answer

I was going to wait until marriage, until I met my BF. Long story cut way short: he was my best friend, then he asked me out, then we knew we were goin to get married, then sex. "I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly and then all at once" (Fault In Our Stars)

DodgersGM · Answer

It's a nice idea in theory, but it's not all that practical in real life.  That said, if it's something you want for yourself, then by all means you should totally strive for that.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

I don't really think anything of it. If someone wants to wait until marriage then cool, and if not, that's cool too.

Anonymous · Answer

It's really only for the religious folks, which I'm not one of. So the idea of putting sex on this holy pedestal has no meaning to me. Sex is another aspect of a healthy relationship (not to mention it's just fucking fun, pun intended).

So yeah, I'm not down for waiting until X or Y deadline. Not that I'm trying to rush a girl (which is what people seem to assume with their polarized thinking), just that it's sex... not life or death.

Anonymous · Answer

Seriously, I can't go a month without getting fucked. Never understood the waiting for marriage. What's the point anyway in today's society? Seeing the results of the poll and the comment section, I understand why people actually still vote for the republican party. Because they can't keep up with today's modern society.

ThisAndThat · Answer

The answer is simple if you think about it. Someone that wants to sleep around will go along with it and promote it. Someone who actually cares about it will tell you to wait. I made a couple of mistakes in life but if I had it to do over again I would wait no doubt.

VioletCouple · Answer

My opinion of a women lowers if she has had a boyfriend who took advantage of her sexually. If she has regrets or especially if she appears to be deceiving herself about having regrets, then I do not like that. It demonstrates a lack of intelligence, barring extenuating circumstances.

Kalinda · Answer

Well it's fine if you're courting two weeks then getting married. Like how if used to be when the rule was established... But people stay engaged sometimes for decades now.

It's just not very practical plus it takes a lot out of life.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a good way to protect your heart. It was my original plan before I met my boyfriend. But we fell in love and he didn't want to wait and I gave in. Haven't regretted it. Not going to say I wasn't VERY lucky with him though. He really did and does love me, unlike many other boys who say what a young lady wants to hear just so they can get in her pants.

Toper123 · Answer

I hear this at church a lot but i don't agree. I think you should do it when ur with the right person. Don't just throw urself around, hooking up is a different thing so do that if u feel attracted to a person who u know won't be serious

been_waiting · Answer

I respect people's decision to wait, or to not.  Personally, I don't feel the need to wait until marriage. Rather I just believe that I'll only ever sleep with someone I love.

Klaatu51 · Answer

i think there's no point to save yourself till marriage

bombamboum · Answer

I voted C. Why? people do what they want but I never expected to wait. Waiting until marriage only exist in religious communities in my country. Most of my friends, are active, so were the generations of my parents and grandparents.

Kinstrome · Answer

If I know within a few months that I'm completely compatible with her and that we will certainly get married, then I can wait. However, I don't see that happening. I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting until marriage, but it's not for me.

Anonymous · Answer

If you can discipline yourself to stop at mutual oral until marriage, you can have a satisfying relationship, one free of pregnancy and its fears and save the treasure for your husband. Both of you CAN wait on this basis. Even if you are not a virgin (at 15?, darn!) it is still worth stepping back. And never, ever discuss sexual history with guys.

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