What are your thoughts on waiting until marriage?

[Anonymous]

I'm not overly religious, I've just always thought waiting was the smartest decision. No accidental pregnancies and no STD's. I feel like your partner is less likely to cheat on you throughout your marriage and if they do cheat before, it hurts, but you have no regrets. You would also be more financially stable when you are ready to have kids (if that's what you want). But does anybody really think like that anymore? Or am I pretty much alone in that?

[LazerBean]

It's the intelligent thing to do. As you said, it increases you're marital success likelihood. That's what my husband and I did. There are men like that out there, but not many who are not religious. But I would say you should try to find a guy like that anyway, especially if you're a virgin. And NEVER settle for a guy with a higher body count than yours. Even if you aren't a virgin, it's still worth the wait. Each time a persons body count goes up, their success rate goes down. So don't let the male thots here tell you the nonsense that it only works if you're a virgin. They say such because they are exactly the type of people who are unfit to give any sort of advice about relationship success.

[loveslongnails]

Counterpoint here:
" As you said, it increases you're marital success likelihood". - I commented to the poster that I couldn't find any data to support that - can you cite any reliable studies or sources?
"That's what my husband and I did." Ok, that's fine, but it's completely subjective and anecdotal, and your similar personal experience with what she suspects is nothing more than a singular commonality of unknown percentage.

" NEVER settle for a guy with a higher body count than yours." Really? So if the girl has had one lover and the guy has had two, he's out and that's settling? Or if he's had one and she's a virgin, that's settling? I very much disagree with that idea.

[LazerBean]

-" As you said, it increases you're marital success likelihood". - I commented to the poster that I couldn't find any data to support that - can you cite any reliable studies or sources? -

Yes:


ifstudies.org/.../does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness

- "That's what my husband and I did." Ok, that's fine, but it's completely subjective and anecdotal, and your similar personal experience with what she suspects is nothing more than a singular commonality of unknown percentage. -

Okay

- " NEVER settle for a guy with a higher body count than yours." Really? So if the girl has had one lover and the guy has had two, he's out and that's settling?-

Yes

-Or if he's had one and she's a virgin, that's settling? I very much disagree with that idea-

Yes, and okay.

[loveslongnails]

FIRST of all, the Institute for Family Studies is a right of center non-profit funded by the Bradley Foundation, also a right wing Conservative foundation. Their mission statement itself is to "strengthen marriage and family life", which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there's no definition of family to be found or what they consider to be an acceptable marriage. One can presume from their funding sources what they believe is acceptable, so therefore, your source immediately brings bias to the table.

Did you actually look at the graph on their website? The lines are moving toward convergence as of 1980, then it stops. Why? At best, that's 43 year old information OR they didn't want you to see what happens after 1980. And if you look at the boxes below that, it doesn't support your statement by more than the standard deviation (+/- 2%), and in some cases, not at all.

While I believe your statement rings true in the extremes, I don't see evidence that it does in the non-extreme. Because of that, I'll re-state that I think it's terrible advice to suggest that a woman would be "lowering herself" in either example I gave. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but I think it's as unreasonable as it is unproven.

[LazerBean]

Their information is good enough for Forbes, New York times, and Huffington cite. I would have thought that would have sufficed considering what you yourself thought reliable enough to post as a source.

And yes the one graph at the very beginning showing the percentage of people reporting on lifetime partner ends at 1980. If you would have read a little bit, the author clearly states how the data that is the actual point of the research (marital satisfaction compared body count) was harvested from and for how long a period of time:

"I look at almost 30 years of the General Social Survey, an annual or biennial survey dating back to 1972. Starting in 1989, respondents were asked detailed questions about their sexual biographies.1"

Also the boxes prove my point very well. The difference in men having one lifetime partner vs even two is greater than the differences caused by higher income, college education, and even age at marriage - all three things that are secularly appected to significantly statistically impact marrital success. My statements are neither unreasonable nor unproven, especially when it's not ignored that people of 2-3 bodies are 7x more likely to divorce than people with only 1. I'm sure you do think it's terrible advice, but I'm not sure why you that would mean much coming from you.

[loveslongnails]

Let's unpack that from the bottom up:
" I'm sure you do think it's terrible advice, but I'm not sure why you (what words are missing here?) that would mean much coming from you." Ah, "coming from me" - is that the insult, because I disagree with you? Hmm, not very "Christian" of you, is that? Try and be civil.

I did not cite a source for my opinion because I don't need one to question the rigidity of your statement. I also don't fully trust yours for reasons I've stated. Even so, the author's own data and words go on to show that with a few exceptions, the differences are modest at best.

These statements here: " Their information is good enough for Forbes, New York times, and Huffington cite", doesn't detract from my statement that the IFS is BIASED to begin with. Since I'm not familiar with the author, all I have for reference is the site that sponsors it. Think of it albeit to a lesser degree, like watching Fox News - they've admitted misleading, lying by omission, and even making up facts completely, so anything they say MUST be questioned, and should be.

[loveslongnails]

Now let's read A CHART:
A MAN'S chance of marital satisfaction if he's had 3 partners is 64%
A WOMAN'S chance of marital satisfaction having only 1 partner is also - 64% !!

So correct me if I'm wrong, but to me that reads a woman who's had 1 partner is equally as likely to find marital satisfaction as a man who's had 3 partners. ALSO - those stats show that a MAN who's had only 1 partner is 7% more likely to be happily married than a WOMAN who has had only 1 partner!! So who's doing the "settling" in that case? Since there's no data on both being virgins prior to marriage, who's settling?

Look further at those numbers - a woman with 3 partners has the same likelihood of satisfaction as a man who's had 6 partners! The author also states " The happiness penalty for additional partners is modest, only a few percentage points."

And THAT is why I believe your advice is questionable, at best. Telling a woman she's settling if a man has had just one more partner than her just flies in the face of sensibility. The implication that she won't possibly find marital happiness, or she'd be lowering herself is, by the writer's own statement, modest at best. From a strict numbers standpoint, it is statistically insignificant.

[love_conquers_lust]

@loveslongnails Boo hoo goo goo gah gah is all I read from you. Take the glass half full and realize that those marriages have a balanced percentage in NOT ending in divorce. Perhaps you should focus your efforts on enjoying your spouse instead of fearing losing them.

[HaveNoName]

EXCELLENT opinion. willl echo a bit in a different way. As soon as the criteria for a successful marriage is great sex, chances of a whilesome and successful marriate goes down. Because thise people always conpare the sex to how it was with others and that is the law of natiure. And God's law (even if you are a disbeliever)... Everything forbidden is better and more pleasure. But THAT is the test !!! Moreover, from a guy's perspective as a guy, "give some respect your prospective wife... She is not a fucking commodity that needs to be tried or test driven before you tie the knot".

[loveslongnails]

@love_conquers_lust You've lost me with your comment. It seems like you're making my point for me. I'll reiterate: declaring a potential mate a loser or that you'd be "settling" and guaranteed a unsuccessful marriage because they've had 2 partners and you've had only 1, is ridiculous, and the stats prove that. I don't understand your boo hoo comment.

[love_conquers_lust]

@loveslongnails Boo hoo goo goo gah gah is what infants do. Lost indeed.

[loveslongnails]

@love_conquers_lust Again, I don't see the relevance of your reference, other than you disagree with my opinion so you "think" I'm whining about it. I'm making a point and backing it with stats which form my opinion.

[love_conquers_lust]

@loveslongnails You’re welcome to bring more stats to the table. I’d be happy to use them against you.

[loveslongnails]

@love_conquers_lust There's no need. Those stats speak for themselves. My opinion, as I stated, is simple. You seem to think you have evidence to the contrary based on a modest, at best, difference in one of a few categories. There's no reason for more stats... you haven't used anything "against me" because the numbers don't lie. So, maintain your snarkiness and have a great day. We're not going to convince one another of a single thing - especially my point:

2 partners for a man, one for a woman, " don't settle, girl". OR, 1 partner for a woman and a virgin man, OR 2 for a woman and 1 for the man. That's ALL bullshit to me, so give it up. I'm not changing my mind, and we're wasting time.

[love_conquers_lust]

@loveslongnails If the stats speak for themselves then STFU.

[loveslongnails]

@love_conquers_lust Take your own advice, ass hat. You commented to me.

[love_conquers_lust]

@loveslongnails You said they spoke for themselves, I didn’t.

[Dilԁοphοbe]

@love_conquers_lust my friend on here is an admin and will not tolerate your behavior @wilmareportu

[love_conquers_lust]

@Dilԁοphοbe You friend wants to report me for encouraging seeing both sides of a story and multiple perspectives? Is that not what @WilmaReportu stands for?

You shouldn’t fear dildos. You should open up to them. Understand them and they’ll understand you. Tolerate them, don’t recoil.

[A_Bell]

Before I was married, not a chance. Now I regret that I didn't wait. Having memories of meaningless relationships isn't in any way fulfilling or happy.

I think that's another bad lesson of modern feminism. Hedonism isn't happiness. Temporary sexual pleasure isn't rewarding in the long run.

[Bethany22]

I think it's a good idea for women to wait until marriage, as the men you date will have more respect for you, as well as it protects your feelings from getting hurt if your expectations suddenly get higher after sex. You're able to have a clearer mind when you don't have sex before marriage, and make better decisions as a result.

[EmmaMary]

I do trust you also mean the guy needs to be a virgin as well!

[Bethany22]

@EmmaMary it's the ideal situation, but the likelihood of finding a guy that's a virgin are very slim.

[EmmaMary]

Well considering you're still single ( your profile page) would it be too impertinent for me to ask whether you are still abstaining from sexual intercourse?

[EmmaMary]

@Bethany22

Obviously abstaining from making any reply as well!

[Leowolf13]

Can I jump in and ask a question, I’m a guy who hasn’t had intercourse, I’d like to save that for marriage, but I have been intimate with a couple partners. These were girls I was in love with and wanted to marry. Would that be upsetting to learn or would that be understandable? I guess I’ve lost my virgin innocence, but not my technical virginity.

[Bethany22]

@Leowolf13 no that would be fine

[coachTanthony]

Everyone should wait until marriage to find out that the person you just married actually hates sex and doesn't care for it at all. lol

[GenZilla]

No, because if you’re not having sex at all, there’s something wrong. But of course, depends on the situation. Or like how long you’ve been married.

I think that you should always make your partner feel special and understand what they are going through, so that spark comes back.

[coachTanthony]

I’m talking about no spark for sex at all before or after marriage this is why don’t wait til marriage to have sex

[AviatorTom]

It's okay if both partners want to wait until marriage to consummate their union. I personally think there are advantages in not waiting, making sure you are sexually compatible.

[Lliam]

Different people here have different attitudes but I, personally, never placed one bit of value on virginity. I even think the term "losing your virginity" is stupid. What are you losing, your childhood? When your pass through puberty, do you lose your childhood or enter into adulthood. It's the same with sex.

None of my girlfriends were virgins. When I eventually got married, my wife wasn't a virgin. We had both had relationships and lived full lives before we met. That's how life should be. By the way, we chose well and have been happily married now for 26 years.

It doesn't make sense to "save yourself" for marriage. It doesn't make it more likely that your marriage will be successful.

Normal people have relationships. A relationship is how you determine if that's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You don't just marry the first guy with whom you become infatuated or who flatters you and makes promises.

You have to get to know each other inside out - habits, behaviors, idiosyncrasies, lifestyle, goals, values, work ethic, etc. You can't discover those things by chatting. You have to observe them over a long period of time. And you have to know if you are sexually compatible. Sex is as important as any other compatibility.

I would never consider marrying someone unless I knew that we were compatible in every way. And you have to know that you love, adored, respect, and trust each other completely. If you realize that you don't, they you shouldn't marry them. You should move on; rinse and repeat; continue the search until you find the one. That's how we gain experience, wisdom, and the maturity to recognize the right partner when we meet them.

Marriage is for the rest of your life. A relationship is testing the waters. Too many people rush into marriage out of desperation.

Don't get fooled. Don't get sucked into a life that you will regret.

I'll add that any man who doesn't see your qualities beyond the fact that you've had previous relationships before doesn't value you.

Any men who think women who have had sex before are worthless are, themselves, worthless. They are immature, shallow, and see women as objects or possessions, not as intelligent, fully accomplished human beings with common sense and standards.

[Anonymous]

You’re alone on that.

1st. Religion is a cult for sheep 🐑 that need to follow something and listen to others. I learned this by the age of 20.
To want religion, is to say that you need religion in order to have a moral compass. You can’t have moral values and ethical standards on your OWN.

2nd. We are all sexual. Men and women. We are sexual beings that have a sex drive. And everyone has a completely different sex-drive and libido to the other. A woman with PCOS like me, has a higher sex drive because of higher testosterone.

3rd. Sex is healthy. It’s healthy for both males and females. Scientifically and biologically. It is healthy for both women and men of childbearing age to have sex. It’s healthy to have CONSTANT sex.
Specially for women more than men.
Because men lose testosterone when they release.

Women on the other hand.. are give TWO Sexual Pleasures. TWO Sexual Advantages.

Women can have both male and female orgasm.

This is why in a test of arousal, women were aroused by looking at other women and looking at men.

Yes, maybe males are wired to spread their seed. But women can have multiple orgasms in one day. A man cannot. A woman is capable of having sex with 15 different men in one entire day. In 24 hours a woman can have 20 males. And she can experience the 20 orgasms that those 20 men provided her.

A man can only have 1 orgasm in one ☝️ day. That is it. He has to wait 15-20 hours to be able to have sex again and release again. A woman can have as much sex as she wants.

.

4th. Contrary to popular belief. Women are just as sexual as men if not more so. While men maybe animalistic, and always ready to have sex. Women, during their “fertile window” , when they’re ovulating.

Women are the most Aroused and Ready to Go.. during these 6-days of fertility.
We become just as H—NY as men.
If not, more so. Because your egg begs your body for fertilization. You crave sex like never before. Right before your period.

.

5th. Marriage, Just like religion. Marriage is a cult created by men, to control women. Marriage is a social construct. Social conditioning.

It’s not based on reality. On biology. On genetics. On science and reproduction. It’s based on belief and myth.

So if you want to live a life based on ideology, beliefs, and myths. That’s your destruction, and that’s your fault. 🫵 Marriage cannot ensure that a human with carnal needs, will stay faithful to you for his/her entire youth and existence. That’s a miserable existence. Sex takes a 5 minutes. You cannot prevent someone from experiencing those 5-10 minutes with someone other than you. It’s unrealistic and based on fairytale.

Men want variety. Biologically they want variety. Women want the best most healthy and strong male for the best fit offspring.

Marriage and Religion was made to cut down the population and control human reproduction. Like sterilization. Also made to mainly control female sexuality. It’s why many cultures CUT the Female Clitoris.

Because men feel entitled to CONTROL and POLICE female sexuality. Cutting the Clitoris out. Imagine. It’s like Chopping the Head Of the Penis Off. ‼️‼️

https://www.youtube.com/embed/HN1mulqwv5g

[Bricealan]

From my experience, and the experience of others, that is a risky position to take. I have relatives who did that and lived to regret it, and have read stories of other women who did that and ended leaving their husband due to them being incomparable.

Personally, I would rather marry a woman with a lot of sexual experiences, although that does open the door to many unknown factors. My wife was very experienced, and had 30 sexual partners before me married. That said, I did not find her to be the experienced woman you might think.

She claimed no masturbation in her life, and I never understood what she considered being sexually satisfied, was. Then. too, I was ignorant, and put her on a 'pedestal' in that I would not let her suck me nor did I ever eat her out... Stupid on my part, so I never really knew what her sexual response was?

Sex and sexuality is so weird, and fluid, I really don't know what to think about experience/inexperience as it applies to a successful marriage.

[TonyV]

See I think waiting till marriage increases the chances of cheating and affairs. I think going into a marriage just thinking you'll be sexually attracted to someone is a bad idea, I think you need to actually find out what you like before marriage. I'm not saying you have to fuck the whole town but I think it's good to have sex with at least one person before marriage, make sure you aren't gay or something, you never know, seems to many people marry the gender their church yells them too, then the sex sucks, and then we have the stereotypical secret gay affair. Or maybe you thought you wanted vanilla sex with clear and often vocalized consent with clear communication only to find out that shit gets annoying and you just want someone grabs a handful and takes charge.

You get the idea, I personally would never marry someone I haven't had sex with, I need to know if they are just gonna lay there like a doll cause if they are I may as well just buy a damn sex doll. I need to know we have similar interests.

[Anonymous]

If you want to do that for religious or moral reasons, that is apurely personal choice and it is neither right nor wrong. It is just your choice.

Unwanted pregnancy? There is so much available for birth control that this shouldn't be a consideration for anyone smart enough to use contraception.

STDs? I have had several relationships in which we were both tested for STDs and shared the results with each other before we started having sex. Of course, this requires that you trust your partner will be faithful to you. . . but you have the same concern in a marriage.

If your eventual partner places great value on virginity, then saving your virginity for that partner, after marriage, may have some significance. However, not many guys care about whether a girl is a virgin, especially when the girl is in her late 20's.

So, it might make you much more desireable to a rather small segment of the male population, but I don't think it accomplishes much more than that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most kids are born from mothers who were on birth control when they got pregnant, and condoms don't protect against STDs because they only cover the penis and aren't airtight, and can have defects in them that let sperm through, so relying on birth control or condoms is pointless.

Its not possible to rely on trust to avoid STDs without knowing the person for years and knowing they decided to permanently commit to you, even if tested, tests take time, by the time the results are in, enough time has passed to have contracted an STD after being tested. You need to know the person so well that you don't even need to trust them.

There isn't any point to changing your priorities to make yourself more desirable to more people. Instead, people should be themselves, even if it means less than 1% of the population is a perfect match for them, because you only need 1 perfect match.

[Anonymous]

It’s a smart move for women.. but it only affects the stuff related to sex. It has nothing to do with financial stability. That is a separate matter, as well as the cheating thing. Some people cheat because they are scum.. and in no way am I condoning cheating, but a lot cheat because they are unfulfilled. Like, women cheat because they aren’t getting emotional or physical or mental fulfillment. Men cheat because they aren’t getting physical fulfillment most times. This is why women cheating is a whole lot worse and there isn’t coming back from that.


All in all, it’s good for both parties to practice waiting until marriage. For sex, and if that’s the cause, I highly suggest men put the same standards on paying for dates and doing things that cost money. If that is a women’s stance on sex til marriage, then a woman isn’t privileged to my resources and provisioning until marriage either.
I hear a lot of woman say, well, it shows that the man can take care of me and our family.. all from one or three dates.. lol I would argue them same thing for sex I need to make sure you will satisfy all my needs in bed.. but if we are going for equality in 2023 this is the way to go. We can actually do free stuff and spend good quality time and have fun. So yeah, waiting until marriage in all areas in dating is ideal.

[Kris31]

Absolutely terrible idea.
Sex can be learned and it will take time till a couple really is on par with each other.

If you start with it only after marriage you will firstly have unrealistic expectations because you never had sex and are probably corrupted by whatever the internet said that it's the best thing in the world whatever.
After the first time which will be more funny and can be painful for her it will leave a bad taste for him and for her and it can lead to not wanting anymore but forced to be together with that person because you are already married.

I think it's absolutely terrible to wait.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats complete nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Just because you're married doesn't mean you're financially stable.(and vice versa). I think that's somewhat of a separate issue

I don't see why waiting until marriage would make it less likely that the guy you're with won't cheat on you. There are people who waited and latter cheated and there are also people who didn't wait and stayed faithful the entire relationship. Maybe there's something I'm missing, but i just don't see the connection

There are effective ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs without waiting, but if you want to be extra extra careful I can definitely see why waiting until marriage would be beneficial.

I personally have 0 interest in waiting until marriage. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend way too much. Haha. But if someone else wants to wait and finds value in that I don't think there's anything wrong with doing so

[Joshydavid25]

"I don't see why waiting until marriage would make it less likely that the guy you're with won't cheat on you."

If the guy actually waited til marriage, then that means he has great self control and discipline, and has the morals and values to step away from cheating.. Making it less likely that he will

[EmyyWolf]

@Joshydavid25
How you know he is or isn’t abstaining 🤡🤡🤡
Comes down to BELIEVING he is

[Joshydavid25]

@EmyyWolf I mean well unless he has given clues that he is abstaining, then I would have no other reason to believe he isn't abstaining.. Besides cheating takes work..

[DJB72]

I wish I'd waited. Married 20 years now and my greatest regret is I can't tell my wife she's the only lover I've slept with.

While I am a Christian that's never been the reason for the only genuine regret I have. I'm sure it's impacted our relationship and my wife has similar feelings. It's impossible even after 20 years together not to still "compare", and as we get older the comparison doesn't get kinder.

It's not like we had multiple partners - just 2 for me and 1 for her. But it's a comparison we regret.

[Starrrboy]

Waiting until marriage is laughable and embarrassing in some cultures.. and in other cultures it's actually the norm.. marriage itself is quite extinct in some cultures lol... So, it depends on where you live actually.. so that you don't feel like a weirdo and also to know what to expect from the people you date.. waiting till marriage and having a partner that really lives up to the expectations is the ideal thing... but is it guaranteed to happen? Is it guaranteed to happen while you're still in your prime years? unless you meet someone who's like your soulmate.. It's a gamble.. So, you're just there torn between chasing the perfect thing that may not happen for you or having relationships and flings just for the sake of not being alone and missing out..

[ChefPapiChulo]

I think for you it’s involuntary. Because you don’t look very smart. And judging by your ability to write, it turns out to be true.

[Starrrboy]

@ChefPapiChulo dude I was just messing around lol... I know you're a G@g old timer like myself and I remember you were there with the whole alpha and beta trolling shit so I thought I might troll you for a bit lol.. but looks like your roasting abilities really went down and you took it seriously and now doing Dr Phil on me 🤣... lol sorry bud it gets boring here sometimes 😅

[ChefPapiChulo]

stop using (...) to continue a sentence. makes you look uneducated and stupid. and talking about beta and alpha, makes you look even more stupid. no wonder no woman wants your seed.

[Starrrboy]

@ChefPapiChulo now you actually sound like a true beta... I'm not joking this time lol.. and apparently you have a crush on me or something stalking me around Gag.. so , you're blocked... you fa*g lol

[loveslongnails]

My thought is about the same way I think of the typewriter - it's out of date. That doesn't mean sex on the first date or even for a while. Once you're sure there's a solid commitment, and I mean really sure, I think it's a good idea to make sure you're not sexually incompatible!

" I feel like your partner is less likely to cheat on you throughout your marriage"
I can't find any statistics that support your feeling. Do you know of any?

You might find this interesting and informative:

Infidelity Stats

[EmmaMary]

That was most definitely not for me, thank you very much.

I thoroughly enjoyed "test driving the cars" before I found the right one!

[MaxUsefull]

The problem with this is that the body count goes through the roof

[EmmaMary]

@MaxUsefull

Fortunately not in my case it didn't... Only needed to "test drive" four (4), before finding my husband to be almost eleven years ago.

[Joshydavid25]

"I thoroughly enjoyed "test driving the cars" before I found the right one!"

The thing with this thinking is that people place too much importance on the sex.. When while sex is important, the partnership itself and devotion to one another is really the main focus.. What if an accident happen to where they can't have sex for a while or it's challenging? You gonna find someone else because your needs can't get met?

[loves2learn]

I would not say it is a bad idea. I personally did not wait. But I married the guy I lost my v-card to. Alternatively, I would encourage you to wait until the time feels right. Whether that is now, later, during an engagement, after marriage. When the time feels right for you. All the best. 🥰

[matchrestore]

My wife is also the first woman I slept with, but we did not wait for marriage either.

[wingattebaby16]

i have too many gfs that got divorced over bad sex.. all 5 of the 6 waited until marriage to see his penis, and they were very disappointed.. the husbands all were "wham bam, thank you ma'am" and sex was bad.

so i would never wait until marriage to find out my man is bad at sex, cannot properly pleasure me, and end up cheating..

[madhatters4]

i feel like sexual chemistry is often a deal breaker in relationships. so i think waiting til marriage for sex is unwise. i'd rather find out about our sexual chemistry before marriage rather than get married and have it dissolve as result of not finding out

[Joshydavid25]

That's because people place too much importance on the sex as if it makes the relationship.. It doesn't.. It's the devotion and partnership.. You'll spend much more time talking to your partner than having sex with them.

[madhatters4]

@Joshydavid25 it doesn't make it. but it is a major component of it. if it isn't important to you then that's fine. but for the majority of people in the world a healthy compatible sexual relationship with their partner is vital. you can't simply dismiss the importance because you don't think it is important or does see the importance in it.

[Joshydavid25]

Well I didn't really say it wasn't important, just that people place too much importance on it. I mean there could be a period in the relationship where sex is difficult and not possible... And that's where it goes far beyond sex.. Plus sexual compatibility is what you make it... It's not set in stone.. If you love the person, you guys automatically become sexually compatible since sex is really just a physical connection that feels pleasurable.. Also a way to make babies.

[Joshydavid25]

I wanted to wait until marriage initially, but I never found a woman to do it with, so I just went on ahead and went for it... I still think it's the best option.. People place a lot of importance on the sex as if it makes the relationship.. It shouldn't.. It's important yes, but you'll much more time with your SO than just sex.. Plus, the love and devotion to each other will eventually lead to great sex if you actually care about their needs and satisfaction..

[Adaeva]

I have a slightly different opinion. I intend to wait until I have an official engagement and after wedding announcements have been given and/or mailed to our families and friends.

[MaxUsefull]

Too much young for this topic

[Unknown8264]

Due to my religion, I didn’t have sex until marriage. Sex was bad, because he had ED.
I did my best but still he wasn’t turned on enough. In the end we got divorced quick.
If I am ever in a relationship again, after being certain that he’s the one, I would want to experience sex before officially getting married.

[LittleMelissa9614]

I think waiting till marriage to make love is a good thing! Because it's supposed to be special between both husband and wife. I've heard that they'll have a healthy and life long lasting marriage that way. And eventually be ready to have children.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I think it's smart but I'm also ok with not waiting if its a long term relationship. I'm engaged with someone who wants to wait and I respect her for that.

[NalleBabyBoysss]

I would think their loss cause sex is wonderful lol but each to their own everyone should ignore the pressure and just decide when the time is right for you and if your partner feel the same than go for it.

[lightbulb27]

you make a lot of sense.

The only gotcha I see is the risk you aren't compatible and it creates a lot of stress. That does happen. If you find a way to solve that in conversation all the better.

[nonyabeez-wax]

There is nothing wrong for women OR men to decide to wait for marriage. If you do that though, and you want a partner who did the same, you're gonna want to start hanging around churches as thats where the other people who do that will be.

[Shamalien]

I think that it’s very respectable and smart decision if you’ve got your shit together young and are prepared to marry in your early 20s

but for most people these days it’s not practical

[Dargil]

If I were not married and my fiancée wanted to defer PIV intercourse to marriage, I could work with that insofar as we could have an intimate relationship otherwise that included mutual oral. That would NOT include anal intercourse.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I agree.

I'm not religious and I'm waiting until marriage to avoid STDs, cheaters, and unwanted pregnancy as well.

I don't want kids, but yes people should wait until they are financially stable to have them.

[Lycirian]

You aren't alone with that. Lot's of people still like this and it is in my eyes neither right or wrong. It's the way you are but doesn't expect that your husband will be like that too.

[BCRanger10]

I am very strongly in favor of waiting until marriage to have sex. It is mostly for religious reasons, but I also agree with what you said.

[Sunssong]

I think it is the way to go tbh. I think it is very wise if you do it for intellectual reasons.

[CaliAttorneyGuy]

If she’s a traditional woman, maybe. But those women rarely exist any more if they exist at all. And even then, men have less and less incentive to get married. I say this as a divorce attorney.

[HelpfulWoman]

eh, marriage doesn't guarantee any of those things to be fair.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm a fan of checking if the physical and emotional levels are compatible. Also, similar preferences and sexual drive would help.

[slatyb]

I expect that a woman who wants to wait until marriage either has a low libido or some other sexual hangup.

[Nikki1989]

That is a good way to set yourself up for major disappointment.

[love_conquers_lust]

I’m doing it. I find other people have a bigger problem with it than I do. I’m guessing it’s the same perspective for those in promiscuous arrangements.

[Anonymous]

I waited until marriage. The biggest thing is temptation. For me it made sure that any guy who was only after sex rather than being in a committed relationship disappeared.

[johnnydeeeep]

I don't believe in God but I personally love it and am wildly refreshed... where do I meet you?

[KaiidiraX]

About the same as buying clothes or shoes without trying them on first

[Fromdusktilldawn]

its not the dark ages anymore, besides tax advantages, what is nowadays the advantage of marriage? Its not like its required by religious dogma (like it was hundred yaers ago)

[AydenHazor]

Good for you. Everyone should make their own decisions in this aspect for their own reasons and stick to it. My preference may not be the same, but I respect your choice and your reasoning behind it.

[Justina_432]

We should not wait we should have sex before it

[genericname85]

high chance of getting with a partner you can't work with sexually and having over inflated expectations for sex.

[Anonymous]

I'm torn on this. Because I support waiting till marriage. But if I had life to live over again I don't think I would. Cause you can be as moral as possible. But it don't really mean s*** when no woman is.

[Tomisworthless]

Well im 29 and a virgin so at this point may as well wait. But 99.999% of women want a sexperienced handsome man who has now turned Christian and will wait till after marriage

[RebeccaSJ]

I was raised to wait until marriage, and I was a well known purity advocate.

I didn't get married until I was 33, and I couldn't wait that long.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Waiting until marriage is only for virgins

if you already have kids or have had sex and think a man is about to wait

💀💀💀

[RingOfFire]

Hmmmm... that would mean I would be a 68 year old virgin. 🤔

[Friendlybro79]

You do you. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

[Anonymous]

I'd recommend this ONLY if you plan to get married in your VERY early 20s. Otherwise I think waiting is a mistake for most people--particularly if you're with someone you like.

[Unit1]

Nah, i love sex as much as the girls love sex if not even more.

[Iron_Man]

Wait until marriage and have a nice church wedding. Do the right thing

[DextroShade]

You only get to do that if you are a virgin, otherwise it's asinine.

[sheikalana]

It's a wise decision.

[Smashingdoozy]

Sexual compatibility matters in relationships.

[Ameer99]

I am already applying it to preserve my virginity until I find a suitable wife

[Anonymous]

A huge waste of time, but more power to anyone who have the patience to wait.

[Anonymous]

the f-bois will tell you it's bad thing because they only want sex from you