Isn't it very naive to think just having sex, cooking and cleaning for a boyfriend will get a man to marry her?

[Anonymous]

I've heard enough of this phrase ''a man's heart is through his stomach''. The thing is some women seem to really think that living together with a boyfriend, cooking for him, cleaning and giving him lots of sex will be enough to get him to eventually propose and marry her. BS.

Too many women that are already doing all, then keep asking on this site or other forums ''we've been living for 8 years, why won't he marry me'' or ''I'm cleaning, cooking, having sex, why isn't he proposing after 5+ years? Isn't that very naive... to think that just cooking, cleaning and sex will get him to marry her?

Updates

1 y

Several of those women in those stories were obviously doing those things, expecting him to propose eventually. No one does things for free for nothing in return.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It isn't exactly naïve to me, it talks about women into traditional values, but, like anonymous 45+ said, its a complex world now, with a full spectrum of values, ranging from literal traditionalism to ultra progressive, so a traditionalist will probably fail if not meeting another traditionalist of the same type. Traditionalism, as I see it, doesn't seem to rhyme very well with world's current complexity of values, I don't mean that as an offense, merely an observation.

[VIVANT]

I can’t believe any sane person will do all that for someone for no reason. A few fevers being I’d partner us disabled or if you’re caring for a disabled friend family member or neighbor etc

Totally understandable if both partners are able and making the effort but to simply be a maid for free when time is so valuable is to me just outrageous. I doubt they do it expecting marriage bc anyone knows a maid can be easily replaced, I think they do it bc they see it as “womanly” plus hope to get married.

I wish women would stop acting like theirs virtue in being someone’s servant. It’s high time to separate the notion of servility from love. Human beings are so so so much more than what they can serve. And yes I absolutely do not think men used as 🏧 machines. Totally antiquated & dehumanizing. Plus in both cases you need all the skills on both sides, in case you find yourself single.

[Vesuvius87]

It's very naive indeed. All those things aren't needed to convince a man to marry us. If that was all it takes, then many women would've already been married, even the waitress.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, and I laugh everytime I read it.

Because these women are doing everything in reverse and wonder why it doesn't work out. You want a traditional relationship? Then you have to seek a traditional man, with traditional effort. Most women don't want to do that. They pick they guy and then want to make him be what she wants him to be.😆 Yeah, well I want Scarlett Johansson to marry me. What part of that is realistic?😆 (And yes, I know Scarlett if married already)

[Paulalove98]

Yeah it is because you can do all that for a man and it still wouldn’t be good enough sometimes. The guy should be giving the same energy in return for a woman he cherishes and do kind things! Honestly it doesn’t even have to be flowers or expensive stuff, just helping her with a house chore if she’s tired from work or has been doing a lot, it’s very gentleman like.

[avery58]

Yeah, you'd be surprised, some guys don't really fall in love with a woman no matter how good she is. Women generally seem to hold a little more sentimental value to these kind of small details since we often remember any small detail (good or bad) lol. Men seem to fall more in love with how a woman makes him feel and by creating memories with her.

But there are some who are just afraid of commitment for whatever reason.

[missindiana93]

I do it because it's my god given duty to serve my husband. But at times he could do more I literally run circles around him cleaning, cooking, and doing grocery runs.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm unsure, is it ironical or serious?

[LiamJHayden]

Yes, it is usually naive to think that giving a guy all of the benefits of marriage without his having any of the legal obligations will get him to go for the marriage.

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. Give him no free services at all (nothing except our presentation) and the opposite could happen; he misses her, gives commitment faster and agrees with an expedited wedding.

[smurfwrangler]

marriage is a bad deal for men

[Vesuvius87]

yet I'm still getting married within 5 weeks and I didn't do any of those things listed on that post. It's not bad with the right woman; if she's family oriented and doesn't want his money.