Am I a bad person for falling in and out of love quickly?

[KoyaMilfOven]

When I start going out with girls, I do feel in love, but after a few weeks, I don't. It's been this way since I was 12, but I've only started to realise that I have a serious problem recently. Just two weeks ago, I met a girl from Indonesia on a random chat site. We started talking and we had a lot in common. I didn't fall in love immediately (because I know that you should only enter a relationship when you're ready, not when you're lonely), but after the first day she started telling me she had feelings for me. After confirming she wasn't a scammer, I kept talking to her. The next day (day 2), I started catching feelings myself. We both confessed, like little kids, and we started talking a lot longer. I confess, we had that silly puppy love, and I acted a little childish at times. Anyway, it's been two weeks, and today I've realised I don't feel any buzz, or any butterflies. I reply to her messages with a blank face and still heart and mind. I don't know if it's the distance, but I don't feel any connection anymore. I still text her like I love her, but I don't know if I do anymore. I feel really f*cking filthy keeping the illusion going, especially after telling her I would always love her (because that's how I felt) and saying we would see the world together. I don't know anymore, I just feel so lost and empty, I want to be the one to make her happy, but how can I if I don't love her anymore? Please don't hold back in your responses, I can take and deserve to take anything you throw at me. I just need someone's opinion on what's wrong with me and what I can do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, don't be so hard on yourself. Falling in and out of love quickly is just part of being a teenager sometimes, we're still figuring ourselves out. But I can see how that would mess with her feelings, so you gotta end it kindly but firmly.

Here's what I'd do - be honest and tell her you care about her, but you're not ready for a serious relationship yet. Admit your feelings changed and it's not fair to lead her on. Make it about you, not her - say you need to work on yourself before committing to someone else.

Offer to stay friends if she'd be open to that once things cool off. But give her space now to move on from the puppy love phase. In the future, go slower with labeling things official until you're sure how you really feel. We all learn through mistakes.

Don't beat yourself up, man. You saw a problem and want to do better, so you're growing. In time you'll know yourself and what you really want from a girl. For now just be gentle with her feelings and focus on being your best self single. It'll be aight!

[Lliam]

You're confusing infatuation with love.
Being infatuated is the feeling that people associate with love. It involves hormones and is intense. You project your thoughts, feelings and desires onto the other person. You think they are the most wonderful creature who ever lived.

Young people and adolescents, in particular, get swept up and think they are in love. They imagine that they will never love anyone else. There are hundreds of songs about teen love.

But infatuation wears off. It dissipates like a dream.

It's dangerous to declare love when you are in the infatuation stage, because feelings can get badly hurt if the infatuation wears off and you realize that, even if you like that person at lot, you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the whirlwind of lovebombing and the crash landing of reality — you're living a romantic drama in fast forward, my friend! Feeling like a love Casanova and then hitting the emotional brakes isn't about being a bad person, it's more about understanding your emotional patterns and perhaps a sprinkle of love addiction. Falling in and out of love quickly, especially in the digital age where connections can seem instant but sometimes lack depth, is not uncommon.

The key here is communication and honesty, with yourself and with her. Reflect on what draws you into these intense, short-lived relationships. Are you in love with the idea of love or the person? There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but exploring these feelings with a professional can help untangle your love knots.

Don't beat yourself up. Instead, aim to learn from each encounter. Love is a journey, not a sprint. Explain your feelings honestly to her; it's the kindest route even if it feels tough. Keep dancing in the rain of love, just maybe with a bit more self-understanding as your umbrella. 😊

[katiesmuff]

Yes you sure do have a problem!

[KoyaMilfOven]

Can you tell me what I should do?

[jahaims]

That isn't love. That is lust and infatuation