I constantly find myself getting attached quickly to people I'm interested in, and it's a pattern I've noticed throughout my life. I've never not had feelings for someone I've liked, and when I don't receive the attention I crave from them, I become incredibly impatient. It's as if I can't help but overthink every situation when I don't get the response I expected, which can be emotionally challenging. I wonder why this happens and how I can better manage my emotions in these situations. I have a feeling this comes from my childhood because I’m seeking the things I lacked back then.
I've had a crush on this guy for nearly two years, even after he initially rejected me. My attachment made it hard for me to take the hint and move on. However, I've recently started talking to someone I met during the recent holiday. I had my friend ask for his snap so when I added him he probably didn’t know who I was. He fit the description of my type so I got attached as soon as I had his contact. I keep overthinking, and although he called me “super pretty” after I commented on one of his snaps, he doesn't know I have feelings for him since I just added him. But because I didn't receive the attention I expected from him today, I can't help but think he finds me annoying, which stems from past experiences with guys. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I really want to be able to have normal conversations with people. Can someone shed any light on why this keeps happening?
I've had a crush on this guy for nearly two years, even after he initially rejected me. My attachment made it hard for me to take the hint and move on. However, I've recently started talking to someone I met during the recent holiday. I had my friend ask for his snap so when I added him he probably didn’t know who I was. He fit the description of my type so I got attached as soon as I had his contact. I keep overthinking, and although he called me “super pretty” after I commented on one of his snaps, he doesn't know I have feelings for him since I just added him. But because I didn't receive the attention I expected from him today, I can't help but think he finds me annoying, which stems from past experiences with guys. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I really want to be able to have normal conversations with people. Can someone shed any light on why this keeps happening?
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Getting to the root of your trauma takes therapy, even some shadow work.
Is this trauma?
It sounds like a result of some sort of trauma in your past, even now it can be trouble with family, men, etc. All these negative experiences contribute to why you have attachment issues. Like where does this strong desire for companionship and love come from? Therapy helps sort these thoughts.
I see. You’re right. I have had major family issues from since I went to the kindergarten and my whole life I’ve been involved with cps and never really had a stable home situation. I didn’t know that could lead to attachment issues. I only thought neglect could do that.
Yeah, sounds like you’re afraid of being left and eager for stability and love. I’m no doctor so please take my opinion with a grain of salt. If it’s a thing to where therapy is too expensive I’d suggest the shadow work. If you go on tiktok there are so many shops that offer journals for that, it’s really a bunch of writing but very therapeutic.
Yeah! Well I get free therapy from CPS so that’s covered. I haven’t really opened up about attachment issues or relationships in general because compared to what I’ve been going through I feel as if that’s just not a big deal and I don’t want them to not take me seriously. But I’ll bring it up next session
You definitely should! Have you mentioned anything of that nature in the past?
Not really. I’ve only talked about my family situation and how it affects me. I haven’t really gotten into depth in my social life or anything like that because I’m scared they’ll dismiss me or say it’s just normal to go through
Don’t be afraid, remember their job is to listen to these things without judgment, but if you’re not comfortable I’d ask for a different therapist.
You aren't emotionally healthy. Probably from past trauma