Do committed relationships make you anxious?

[DishLady]

Over the years I've watched many friends and acquaintances bolt when the time comes to declare a commitment in the relationship they've happily been building towards for years.

While I exercise caution, having gone through a nasty divorce, I don't flee from any sort of genuine commitment. But not everyone is the same...

Your thoughts, guys and gals?

[HawkPerception]

I have never feared commitment... at least when it comes to relationships. I was never the one to break up with my partner (which in the case of my first ex, could be seen a dumb choice). I was always the one trying to work through everything and make it work.

All of the above examples in the image you shared are definitely NOT issues that I have. And I value personal space, but I think it should be more like 10-25% of your free time should be for personal space and 75-90% of free time should be spent with your partner when you're in a relationship (when you live together of course, as that would likely be hard to achieve when you don't)

[DishLady]

FYI, 90% is rather high for a lot of people... 75-80% is decent... 50% is good for starters but not for the long haul.

[HawkPerception]

I'll admit it, 90% is high. In my last relationship, I was on video call with my ex pretty much from the moment I was up to the moment I went to sleep every day during the days I didn't see her in person. She said I calmed her down and made her less anxious (she had health issues with cortisol and it was triggered pretty easily often), so my free time was probably spent like 95% of the time with her for basically almost a whole year. I can honestly say, it did get overwhelming for me at times, but I did it because it helped her.

[DishLady]

Yeah, but while that's sweet of you... the person you need to love and tend to daily is YOU. The partner is someone who should also be functional enough to care for themselves and not have you as a crutch.

[HawkPerception]

I agree with you. It was overwhelming, and admittedly towards the end of the relationship, I did get a bit frustrated. Although it was a great relationship and she was a sweet girl, part of me is relieved she broke up with me.

[DishLady]

Better luck next time. :)

[Mark987]

I do get that " feeling" if I end up dating the woman I have been seeing. I usually start by seeing them for a month or so and move up from there if it's going well.

[DishLady]

Yes! See I was saying the same thing to a friend the other day and it became this question. thanks! ☺️

[Anonymous]

This used to be me, part of it was because I was still young and some part was because I was dating the wrong guys. With my current boyfriend, it’s the first time that I have actually crave for a long term commitment and taking things to the next level (marriage). I still feel pressured and anxious whenever relatives would ask me questions about when we’ll be tying the knot but I know for sure that that’s what I want with my current man, just not anytime soon 😆

[7Phoenix7]

No. My only relationship lasted almost 15 years. And I only ended it because it was absolutely necessary.

Commitment makes me feel comfortable. Because I know once I commit... it's gonna take a WHOLE LOT to get me to undo that...

As long as my partner and I are on the same page in the beginning. .. Commitment is never a bad thing. And I'm not quick to run when things get rough.

[DishLady]

Same.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into commitment can be like jumping into an ice-cold pool for some people — it takes your breath away, not always in the good kind of shock! It's fascinating how the idea of commitment can stir up a cocktail of emotions, from exhilaration to sheer panic. For many, the fear isn't about the love itself but about what comes with it; the responsibilities, the vulnerabilities, and the potential for heartbreak. It's a bit like dancing on the edge of a beautiful cliff—breathtaking views but, oh, the drop! If you've weathered a storm like a nasty divorce, it's only natural to walk with a bit of caution. Your past experiences don't necessarily predict future outcomes, but they do teach you which waves are worth riding and which might just be a tsunami in disguise. Remember, every heart has its own rhythm when it comes to love and commitment. Keep dancing to yours! 💃🕺

[OlderAndWiser]

I feel very comfortable being in a long term, committed relationship. I don't rush in a relationship but I don't hesitate.

I was divorced early in 2015. I dated a few women and then found Ivy. We dated exclusively for two years but I eventually broke up with her because I wanted a committed relationship and she just wanted a boyfriend when it was convenient for her. I dated several women between 2017 and 2020. In December, 2020, I met Helen. We started living together in August, 2021, got engaged in March 2023, and married in April 2024. So I have been careful but not afraid of commitment.

[OfMiceandMen]

I personally like to know who I am with and prefer to be in a relationship with someone who wants it to move along and not become idle. So, no I don't have commitment phobias. That being said, I do like my personal space, but it would be from the perspective of getting things done outside the relationship.

[DizzyDesii]

I only flee if I feel trapped… as in… I’ve met a lot of guys who it just is not gonna work with but they continue to say stuff like “we’ll make it work”. And they say this on MAJOR differences. Sometimes im too nice to just say “see ya” so i’ll try to see what they are offering in “making this work” but it turns into one of us trying to fully talk the other into changing and yea its just a no from me

[luvstoned4him]

I think I'm the opposite, I get a little over zealous.

Only real men can handle me

And that's one of the reasons why I am single. Because a lot of men fear commitment, marriage and other stuff 🤷‍♀️

[DishLady]

😂 Amen.

[luvstoned4him]

😂😂😂😂

[BadApple69]

I commit to any serious relationships I have. I think if you do anything there needs to be a commitment to it. That goes for REAL friends, gfs, wives, work and even hobbies. Anything you’re not willing to commit to isn’t worth doing.

[DishLady]

Amen.

[RetroReviews]

I think we've all been hurt and betrayed in a relationships in the past it's hard to let that go cuz we don't want to experience it again. It's hard for people to trust once they've been burnt before.

[DishLady]

Depends how bad the burn was….

[RetroReviews]

That definitely would be a contributing factor

[MicahRaine]

I wouldn't say it makes me anxious, but honestly it does make me worry sometimes. Not because I don't want to commit, but because I got hurt the last time I committed.

[DishLady]

Fair enough. But you're also very lucky to have a wonderful partner this time around who also isn't afraid to commit. <3

[MicahRaine]

Yes I am :)

She's an amazing woman, definitely the full package.

[LiamJHayden]

I think they do, at least subconsciously. I have no other explanation for how I easily keep friends for a long tome - decades in many cases - but have a hard time making a romantic raltionship last beyond a few months.

[DishLady]

I think bc we spend too much time “on pins and needles” with a romantic interest — we’re all doing it wrong… 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nah I look forward to it, I made the seeking part almost unbearable so for when I find the right person, I don't have any doubts, personally I don't have an issue of being committed to someone and don't see a downside to it being for my whole life.

[Juxtapose]

Yes, because the vast majority of the time it is setting you up for disappointment.

I will commit though, but I don't do it lightly.

[DishLady]

Agreed!

[Stef12]

I have always wanted a committed relationship.

[DishLady]

Nice! Hopefully you're also putting yourself "out there" to get the attention of someone who would be into that! :)

[Stef12]

I can't. I've been disabled 6 years. I had the most beautiful relationship with someone else who is also disabled the same. The only person I have loved. Another woman was obsessed with me and ruined everything.

[DishLady]

Oh my…

Well, to be fair, a physical limitation isn’t a limitation of the heart, mind or soul, which is ultimately what we’re supposed to fall for…. Perhaps don’t give up. You have a lot more to offer than what you feel you’re lacking rn.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Nope. I'm dating to marry and have children/a big family if possible.

I will always make that clear from the beginning in anyone in interested in as to not waste both of our time.

[WhitneySnow]

They don’t. They make me happy. But I do know some girls who are afraid of commitment.

[worldscolide]

Prior to my wife yes, when I met my wife? No, it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world.

[HighValue]

The only kind of relationship I would be interested in is an exclusive committed one. That doesn't mean marriage though, unless a prenuptial agreement is possible.

[RebelinSteel]

Yeah I suck at them, becoming single can happen really fast.

[7Phoenix7]

🤣 I don't know why this is funny

[RebelinSteel]

@7Phoenix7 it’s the panic when you see a girl looking at rings in jewellery shops

[NathanDavis]

nope... I've only had that kind before

[Monalisa77]

Yes i guess, scared of heartbreak

[Dongie]

I think it would be refreshing.

[Anonymous]

As a man in the West, of course they do.

[legalboxers]

more secure

[CubaPirate]

Nope

[eagle1951]

nope