Why do people cheat on their partner with someone less attractive?

Question

Seems weird, but I saw it happen more than once - a woman I know cheated on her husband with a much more overweight, balding guy; and likewise another guy I knows cheated on his gorgeous wife with a total butterface.

My wife and I often joke that if we really must cheat on one another, at least to go for much more attractive people, at least it would be somewhat more palatable!

UnicornLobotomy · Accepted Answer

It’s not something you two who are in a normal relationship should joke about, especially at your all’s young age, and maybe not for any age, only swingers and meth heads or simply just innocent goofs during convo by younger couples. I don’t care how tight y’all think you are, its not something that should be said sober. (Especially if you have kids together). Its not very masculine of you either therefore less attractive, unless you are 220 lbs of solid muscle or more or some ex mma fighter, packing. (But it still shouldn’t be said in front of your kids, I see you are young so I doubt your kids are old enough to understand if you even have em)

Which brings me to your question. Men and women usually cheat for different reasons, unless its simply for a thrill and they are sociopaths. Women tend to factor in financial status wayyyyy more often than men, pair that with the rich guy’s personality and boom, no attraction and endowment in the bedroom will matter to her. I guess these divorced guys call it monkey branching. In my personal case I believe my ex hated living in the wilderness and was threatened by attractiveness, all the single women in the small town next to where we lived would apparently pretend to talk on their phones loudly or with a friend “why did he choose her, he could do so much better, he’s insane”. Well, they were right but it was rude and cruel since we had kids together. We were in our early 20s then. My ex was also from a different culture and had a laundry list of demons from her childhood from the darkest pits of hell. I did have ptsd though as well.

Sometimes I’ve noticed women who are attractive but who’ve gone through something tough like losing parents to a car wreck in their teens and whom have no siblings tend to think they can’t relate to or deserve an attractive nice man or something. Their confidence is shattered by their depression and inability to relate to women their age. A lot of these women might become promiscuous while others tend to date down and isolate. I myself thought only a woman who has been through some serious shit in life could relate to me, I was wrong, young, and the shit we had been through was totally different.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

My guess would be based on psychology.

People sometimes feel trapped in relationships where their partner doesn't want to fulfill specific desires for whatever reason, whether the reason is because they're not comfortable doing things/boundaries or not willing enough to put effort into fullfilling their partner's desire, which is a huge aspect of sexual compatibility.

Also, being with someone new is fresh and exciting and some people just miss that spark and effort in initiation when they're past the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

Or it could just be something really simple like the girl wanting to try a guy with a bigger dick or the guy wanting to try a younger girl.

So they'll seek out anyone to fulfill those desires.

Just note that the only way this happens is if they have a low standard of morals in the first place. Anyone who cheats at the end of the day is not worth staying with as they were willing to risk you finding out and hurting you to have some temporary pleasure. They are people with low emotional intelligence that do not truly love you because if they did love you, they wouldn't jeopardize what you have.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

LOL actually if I was ever cheated on I rather it be with an uglier person, I feel like that is more palatable and forgivable than getting cheated on with an all around better looking person than me because then it doesn't feel like a total loss or that I wasn't good enough. Usually people cheat with uglier so they don't get attached or just because that person feeds into their needs or wants that their partner doesn't give.. it isn't so much for the physical aspect.

desidoll · Accepted Answer

People cheat because they want something different. The thrill excites them. It has nothing to do with their partner’s look. You can be a 10 and they still cheat. Also, less attractive people means less competition for them. Attractive people are picky in general.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the age-old question of why the grass seems greener on the other side, even when it's clearly not, right? Well, the answer is not as much about physical attraction as you might think. Lovebombing ourselves a little, it's really about what's ticking underneath those gorgeous or not-so-gorgeous exteriors.

People often cheat for reasons tied to emotional fulfillment or the thrill of the new and forbidden, rather than purely physical attraction. It might be about feeling understood, validated, or just the exhilaration of sneaking around. It's like choosing a burger over a salad; sometimes it's not about what's healthier or looks better, it's just what you crave in the moment.

So, while you and your wife have that playful pact (cheeky, by the way!), remember it's rarely about trading up in the conventional sense. It's more about seeking out something different, something that feels missing. Not that it excuses the behavior, but hey, human emotions are complicated!

Finchie40 · Answer

Probably because it’s just sex and nothing else , people cheat for a lot of different reasons , but the number 1 reason cheating occurs, is mainly lack of sex in a relationship. If a partner feels sexually frustrated by their partner , they will usually go get it elsewhere , pretty much filling a void that they are not receiving with their current partner. Why I tell people all the time that are in relationships, Have sex as much as possible and do not make each other feel deprived. Most people will cheat when they feel their current relationship is one sided , meaning one partner is only concerned about themselves and doesn’t really give a fuck about their partners’ feelings and wants and needs. Me personally will not stay in a relationship with a girl that withholds intimacy and affection from me on a steady basis , if she starts constantly denying me , my ass is leaving her and getting it elsewhere.

Summeroflove · Answer

Because they have no genuine connection they married for sex…. Their relationship was sexually based. Not based on any true love so yeah obviously they’re gonna cheat. They’re gonna get bored and cheat….

Especially people who marry the first person they knock up/get knocked up by. See what matters is character and if you marry someone with bad character what’s going to happen is ir ends in misery.

I don’t care how good of a woman or man someone else. You can do everything for that person and still be cheated on.

You and your wife are probably not those kinds of people so you just can’t see it. Many people don’t marry for love. It’s for money, it’s because they just want to have kids, and the list goes on really. Narcissists at best psychopathic at worst.

AviatorTom · Answer

Almost all cheating is because of opportunity. When opportunity strikes, overall attractiveness is not a major concern.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Could be habitual but it could really just be lack of communication between them. That’s why it’s SO important to communicate and respect each other's ways of doing that.

coachTanthony · Answer

To feel less guilt after they are done. Guilt doesn't care though.

MrOracle · Answer

It's often because they're getting something from that person that they're not getting from their spouse/SO.

You may have a fantastic looking SO, but if they don't pay you any attention, don't respect you, don't make time for you, or don't give you physical intimacy, those looks they have aren't really improving the situation, are they? And maybe this other person doesn't look as good, but if they give you all the other things you're missing, many people quickly figure out that looks are a lot less important than they thought.

You can't build a relationship on looks - though many people try; relationship are build on morals, values, and life goals, because those are the things that SUSTAIN a relationship over time. Looks are a bonus, but they aren't something that can be a foundation for a relationship.

People who make decisions based on shallow criteria most often have the worst experiences - though they usually don't admit it, because that goes against the Hollywood/society/social media narrative that good-looking people are better all-around - when the opposite is most often true.

RavVid · Answer

Possibly it is sexual skills but it is necessary to cheat to find that out.

Possibly it comes down opportunity and offer was made to the cheaters and they decided to take it up. Sex can become infrequent in marriage and a new sex partner is going to be more exciting. A woman might monkey branch up to a better resourced man and a man might go for a nicer woman.

Were the infidelity partners good enough for the cheaters to keep? If not that says something though I am not exactly sure what. Guess it means not good enough for the long term so probably more for sexual excitement.

The_Confusion · Answer

Lust knows no bounds. If you marry someone purely because they are hot, that means you were thinking using your dick at the time, and still probably do. Although i must request a @factcheker for this one, I believe somewhere in the ancient writings of Decal Fong, it stated that dick's only commitment is cumming, whether into uggos or hotties.

jshm2 · Answer

Well, "less attractive" is subjective, as it could be the other way round, and they are (in their eyes) sleeping around with "more attractive" people.

Regardless, just as a burglary doesn't become a smaller crime because it was an "attractive" burglar. So it is that the cheating partners morals and standards do not matter in the overall picture.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

It’s about it being someone different not necessarily more attractive. Not that I’m defending it of course. But I think some people who feel “trapped” just jump and cheat with the first person who’s willing just for the sake of experiencing someone new

Anonymous · Answer

The woman usually because the other man has more money. So she’s materialistic

And the cheating man, usually because he’s not getting action at home. From his current woman. OR! He has the entitlement to have sexual activity with “more” women. Even if they’re uglier or fatter than his current. The idea is that he feels he needs more and variety

alice55 · Answer

Easy they don't love their partner anymore and or never did but chooses them for their apperance and now they cheat on their partner with someone who they go along with (the older you're the less you put importance into physical appearance in general so they surely don't go along with their partner anymore and cheat with someone they go along with and feel good with).

MisterWack · Answer

Maybe there is much more going on than physical attraction whether be sex, the thrill of cheating, or personality / overall quality lacking from partner at home…

Kelly6 · Answer

@sun_kim-ai For some cheating is more as their fantasy rather then for pleasure

mstbooblover · Answer

The notion "attractive" is mainly superficial, while that other person may have other qualities, whether real or imagined.

thearchjoker · Answer

I guess their partner isn't nice enough to them so its not about the looks but how they are treated

LiamJHayden · Answer

Cheaters cheat because they are disloyal. They rarely care if they cheat with someone more or less attarctive as long as they get the high from being unfaithful.

FreyaRed · Answer

Because in most cases it's not attraction but displaying of sexual power or some kind of achievement

TheLovelyIntrovert · Answer

My ex did because he had a sex addiction he admitted to and in his words "The easy women with low self-esteem"

WhitneySnow · Answer

Opportunity. They may not be able to get someone as attractive or more attractive who’s willing to cheat with them.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Has little to do with looks. It's the illicit taboo of the forbidden. Lust. Novelty. Ego.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are street dogs. Street dogs don't care which plate they are getting food from. They simply eat food from anyone who throws food to them. Doesn't matter if the food throwing person is attractive or ugly. They want food.

Itsa85mf · Answer

Something has changed in there lives, maybe no sex by one or something

jahaims · Answer

Because they hate themselves and are compensating for their insecurities

Twalli · Answer

The other person provides something you're missing in your current relationship

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Less attractive is subjective obviously. Just because you find someone less attractive doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Better sex skills, willingness to do more things, attention. No telling.

Dongie · Answer

It may be an emptiness they have that is validated through sexual conquest.

OddBeMe · Answer

Why do serial killers have nice wives and kids? Because they get off on the double life.

Pterodon · Answer

They may get something sexually from their friend they don’t get from their mate

Ladsin2 · Answer

Guys just want strange. Women don't respect there man and are looking for another mate.

nawtee_me · Answer

Because it is not about the attractiveness, it is about the sex….

Jpie555 · Answer

No idea… weird to me!! They must just be super horny!!

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Woman is not satisfied by her husband, so she goes to person who satisfy her

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe she was mistreated by her husband and ran to the arms of a man that truly loves her?

Anonymous · Answer

What’s wrong with a chubby bald guy?  What if he’s nice and a good person

Nikki1989 · Answer

Less attractive according to whom?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

To get a new experience with someone else.

slatyb · Answer

To meet their emotional needs.

tinderf · Answer

Because it gets boring

Tim2nice · Answer

Horniness and opportunity

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Maybe they want tight vagina or bigger dick

Anonymous · Answer

it's about sex, not looks.

Anonymous · Answer

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