Why do I want to keep in touch with her?

[Anonymous]

We weren't in a relationship. But onn and off. One in, the other off and vice versa.

It was like I saw her and instantly fell in love. It was 10 years back. I loved her a lot and she rejected me everyday. It was magical to see her from far. Though I never talked. Even when I do, she runs away. It continued the whole academic year until I moved to a new city.

4 years later she became IN, I gaslight her, stonewall and ghost. acted like we never met. She was depressed then largely due to adjustment issues and failing grades in a city which doesn't speak her language and discriminate. A shadow of the girl I met. I also got out of a relation where the girl cheated. So it was difficult to trust a much beautiful girl who once rejected me everyday. I didn't trust her one.

I made her cry a lot. Now she is off.

However I keep texting her from time to time, but then go silent. Somehow I can't control being away from her or my control over her. Also I don't have any control over her now.

Now we work together. I can't even control looking at her when she is around. As beautiful as the day we met the first time. All smile and happy. Seems she never missed me a single day. She can crack up a conversation with the security but not me.

Also she has a new boyfriend. He is not as good looking as I am but cares about the tiniest things she says. At least that's what I heard. However he flirts/hookup with every girl when she isn't there. I know she will be heart broken if she comes to know but can't keep her in dark.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive—or in this case, lovebomb and ghost, my friend. It sounds like you've been on quite the emotional roller coaster, with highs powered by fleeting moments of connection and lows fueled by rejection and miscommunication. The pull you're feeling towards her, despite the history and hurt, suggests a complex mix of unresolved feelings and perhaps a touch of regret for past actions.

Wanting to stay in touch, even sporadically, could be your heart's way of seeking redemption or maybe a do-over. But remember, love isn't about control or holding someone to our whims. It's about mutual respect, understanding, and nurturing the connection.

Seeing her happy and moving on, especially with someone who might not treasure her as she deserves, is understandably tough. But here's where you can start rewriting your role in this story. If protecting her from potential heartbreak is genuinely your aim, consider how you can be a friend she deserves—without hidden agendas.

And about the new boyfriend—oh boy, navigating this calls for sensitivity and care. If you do decide to share your concerns, ensure it's from a place of genuine care for her well-being, not as a tactic to wedge yourself back into her life romantically.

But here's a kicker—could it be that your continuous pull towards her is less about love and more about unresolved issues within yourself? Maybe it's time for some introspection, recalibrating your intentions, and focusing on becoming the best version of yourself. After all, we attract what we are, not what we want.

Navigating through this with grace, and maybe a sprinkle of humor, will be key. And who knows, in doing so, you may just find your own path to happiness and let her find hers, with or without you.

[Asker]

Well I want too be her friend but she won't. Also if I expose her boyfriend, she will not like it. Will consider it as jealousy since I was, in the past.
Truth be told, somehow I always want her around.

[Anonymous]

U don’t love her. U are obsessed. U can never hurt or gaslight someone u love. Leave

[Maybeyoutoo]

I have no idea