My girlfriend has a male friend that texts her a lot. Should I take an action?

[Stanley]

Last week we were out having dinner, and her phone kept buzzing. Every time she’d check her messages, I’d notice it was him. At first, I tried to brush it off, but as the evening went on, I found myself getting more and more distracted by it. I didn’t want to bring it up right then and ruin the mood, but it really bothered me that she seemed so engaged with someone else during our time together. Later that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about whether I was being insecure or if it was normal to feel this way. I haven’t brought it up yet because I’m worried about how it might come across, but it’s definitely something I’ve been struggling to handle. Should I take an action?

[Finchie40]

It’s disrespectful and something you should definitely out your foot down to. How would she feel if you were texting another girl during your dinner date with her? So don’t yell at her , just firmly and calmly tell her you find it disrespectful that she is texting another guy while the two of you are out together , and tell her how would she feel if you were doing that to her and then walk away from her , give her some time to think about what you said , if she gets angry and defensive at you , then she is more than likely up to no good with this other guy , and you are best to end it with her , if she apologizes and says she won’t do it again? then trust her that she won’t and that she understands and respects her relationship with you. A girl that respects her relationship and values her relationship doesn’t hesitate to be on the same page as her partner , a girl that doesn’t give a fuck about you , will continue disrespecting you and calling you insecure and jealous and say he is just a friend. If she says those words to you? Do yourself a favor and kick her to the curb where she belongs , don’t tolerate selfish girls’ that don’t know how to respect a relationship , she is meant for the streets not under your sheets

[Hsisjwbwbjsjd]

One reason why she's texting her friend might be that she was bored. If you two were eating in silence and making an awkward attempt at small talk like my parents used to make at family meals, than I'd do the same thing she did. In that case, the problem in your relationship is somewhere else.

Otherwise, tell her that you need to talk, make some time and sit down together. Tell her, that it made you feel insecure and shitty when she was texting him. Make sure she knows you don't blame her and talk about it. Listen to her if she gives you reasons for it and try to resolve them. Maybe ask her to not talk with him when you two are spending time together.
Talking openly is in my opinion the most important skill in a relationship, so if you two don't feel safe enough to talk about it, than your relationship might me doomed. It's ok if it doesn't go well this time, but make sure to work on it.

[coxoabean]

Yes, that isn't nice of her to do. I think for dates the phone should not be out, and if you can't leave it out of your hands, then leave it home. You should be the center of attention, you should be the one she's focusing on, that shows she isn't respecting you, and you deserve respect, like anyone does. The fact she is spending time with someone else on the phone while you are out with her, it is definitely ok for that to bother you. Your feelings are valid. I say you communicate this to her, let her know that bothered you and see how she reacts. She should be understanding of you and apologize.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Pretty disrespectful in my eyes. Texting during alone time with your partner is pretty rude. I'd voice my concerns.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of relationships and insecurities, are we? It's like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded sometimes. 😅 Feeling bugged by your girlfriend's buzzing phone is natural, especially if you're worried you're sharing her attention with another. 💔 It's all about opening the communication floodgates, my friend.

Here's the deal: It’s not about laying down the law or unleashing jealousy. It's about expressing your feelings openly. Just imagine you’re sharing a piece of your heart, not starting a courtroom drama. Be honest about how it made you feel when attention was diverted during what was supposed to be 'us time'. It's not about accusing her of wrongdoing or demanding she changes her behavior, but more about getting a mutual understanding and respect for each other’s feelings. 🌈

Remember, it’s all in the delivery. Keep it cool, calm, and collected. Let love lead the conversation. Ultimately, it's the trust and transparency between you two that'll turn this little bump into a stepping stone for a stronger relationship. Surf through this together! 🏄‍♂️💕

[AviatorTom]

If it's just friendly texting, I wouldn't worry about it.

I'd be more concerned that she kept looking at the text instead of paying attention to you, during dinner.

[Nirmroth]

Yes my last rl was like this. She started to look at her phone much more often even when we went out or spent time toghether. Then would start to complain to me about a work colleague about how much of an ass he is. Then started to meet him outside of work.
I didn't say a thing bec I was happy she found a friend at her new work place but I didn't like the guy bec he was such an ass to her and wondered why she would even meet him.

We eventually broke up and much later I learned from a common friend that she had feels for him but when he got single he didn't even bat an eye for her.

Now my policy is, every old male friend she had before our rl and that I at least met once is safe but every new guy friend she makes is suspicious. I let my ex walk all over me bec I blindly loved and trusted her. Not again.

[DextroShade]

This is completely unacceptable. This guy is definitely trying to smash, and her texting him while she at dinner with you is beyond disrespectful. I would straight up tell it's him or me. Anyone who would call you "insecure" is a cuck or a bitch ND shouldn't be listened to.

[DrPepper12]

You need phone ground rules. Increasingly it's important for couples to set this expectation earlier and earlier.

This won't work for your girlfriend but if you notice similar behavior among family and friends, challenge them! Everybody puts their phone in the middle of the table whoever reaches for it and answers their phone first has to pick up the check! I found it remarkably successful in developing discipline and eating for free!!

[Juxtapose]

That's a really good idea!

[NathanDavis]

what you need to do is to communicate... if something bothers you, then do communicate that to your partner the moment it bothers you

otherwise, they will never know, and they won't do anything about it, because they just don't know about it

in the same way you might not be able to read her mind when she's visibly upset but won't tell you why... she won't be able to read yours if you don't communicate and speak up, lol

[Staximus]

If your girlfriend is texting another guy while you're out to dinner, that's fucked up. That's beyond rude, it's disrespectful. She should have her phone in her pocket and having a conversation with you, not texting some other guy. She can't wait till after dinner to text him back? Tell her to go have dinner with that guy if she wants to talk to him so much. Give her the boot. She would be pissed if you were texting some other girl the whole time you were having dinner.

[Miristheiss]

You are being WEAK. You should have never committed to a woman who keeps a "close" male friend.

You are a fool to allow this or to keep giving her a commitment.

[ManInChains]

I'd be worried if I were you. They've definitely said something to each other she isn't telling you about. There's always something

[noohair]

When you guys are out together, he is invading your time and space with her. She should have silenced her phone if she cared about you. Why she left her phone on makes me wonder what her goal was with your date. This sounds really bad to me.

[rienna888]

Yes speak to her tell her it’s making you feel uncomfortable and distracted. What do they talk about?

[Juxtapose]

You should set very clear expectations about phone use while you two are spending time together. Put the phones on silent and leave them in your car while out to eat.

[Juxtapose]

Oh but yeah, she's probably emotionally cheating on you if she's more focused on that guy than you.

[TheLovelyWoman]

Maybe. My sister has many guy friends and she slept with almost everyone of them.

[anon1903]

Instead of being an insecure jerk, why not confront then and lay down some boundaries?

[Vegasrunner]

Yea, but don't bring it up to her. Look for a female companion that you can turn to to talk about this.

[LiamJHayden]

Even if nothing is going on, it is just plain rude in non-emergency situations to be on the phone when on a date.

[Crazzyyworld]

Yes your feelings are valid. I think she should stop looking at the phone unless it’s emergency if she is with someone. Chatting with someone else is rude

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's interested in him in a romantic way.

[Iron_Man]

That would drive me up a wall

[jahaims]

If you don't trust someone don't date them

[TheCaller]

Yes. Challenge him to a cage fight

[Anonymous]

She's got a thing for him

[Ladsin2]

Yeah