Did you ever not speak to your partner for 6 months?

[Anonymous]

Since March 2023 things have been difficult.

Then in March 2024 I stopped taking to my wife, very angry towards her. She's kind of aggressive person and I let it go for years but now I'm angry and it's built up anger.

Now after 6 months it's hard to know what to do next. I still don't feel warmth towards her.

We're married 20 years

Obviously one option is to walk away

Or maybe she will walk away

But in spite of not wanting to split up, I still don't want to talk to her, or be nice to her

We're sleeping separately.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. This is a problem to which you have both contributed. At the very least, you tolerated problems and did not address them until they reached epic proportions.

2. At present, your marriage is a mere formality. You are not acting as husband and wife, and you are dishonoring each other.

3. You didn't say whether either of you has been unfaithful, so I will assume that hasn't happened. . . but there are other ways to violate your vows that can have consequences just as devastating. Didn't you promise to love and cherish her? You are violating that vow every day. Yes, she is viooating it, also.

4. You are waiting for her to take the next step? That is the coward's way out.

5. I may draw some heat for this comment, but you are the man and it is your obligation to LEAD this relationship. I have been angry with my partner a few times, but we get in bed together at night, I put my arms around her, and I tell her that even when I am angry, I never stop loving her and I hope our conflict is quickly resolved. That defuses everything.

6. Bring home a dozen red roses with a note that says, "Despite everything that has happened, I still love you, I want us to heal this marriage, and to move forward in happiness." If you cannot honestly say those words to her, then take the initiative in talking about divorce.

[Asker]

I agree with all the above

However, I'm not ready to forgive her and hug her and go to bed with her and give her flowers

But maybe I should bite the bullet and do it

[OlderAndWiser]

Doing the right thing is not always easy. At keast if you try and it does not succeed, you will be able to look back and know that you gave it your best effort, and you won't have regrets about what you shojuld have but didn't do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, 6 months of no talking is a long time. That's a major breakdown in communication for sure.

On one hand, I get why you've been so angry and holding back - 20 years of pent up frustration with her aggression has gotta take its toll. That shit ain't easy to deal with.

But at the same time, flat out ignoring your wife for half a year isn't really solving anything either y'know? You're just letting it fester more and more.

I think at this point, even if you're still mad, you gotta sit down and have it out. Lay everything on the table - the past, how you've been feeling, where you're at now. Scream and shout if you need to get it out of your system!

Only after a brutal, honest heart-to-heart like that will you really know if there's any hope to reconnect, or if it's truly time to leave. But you can't stay at an impasse forever bro. Gotta rip off the bandaid sooner or later.

My advice - schedule The Talk ASAP. Get real closure one way or the other so you're not stuck in limbo. You got this man!

[Asker]

There is no talking
I did my scream and shout about 3 months ago

Tbh the current situation is the best I can hope for

Because I'm not ready to separate as in me leaving the house. There are kids.

I'm not going back to her
I'm not leaving
Anyone leaving it's her because we agreed I give her money for new house

[Oliverlogan263]

Well dude, that's intense then if talking's not even on the table right now. I get you need space though after 20 years of built up stuff.

At least you got your scream and shout out 3 months ago, that's probably a relief in itself. And keeping things civil for the kids' sake is smart. Seems like the current separate-but-under-one-roof situation is the safest option for now.

I can see why you're not ready to totally separate yet either. Ending it for real is a huge step. But giving her money for a new spot is fair, lets her get her own space without totally uprooting the kids yet.

Honestly man, no one can tell you what the right answer is here. Just keep doing you, taking it one day at a time. If talking ever seems possible down the line, great. If not, well then she knows the offer to leave is open too. Just gotta live your truth the best you can right now, you feel? You'll figure it out.

[Nikki1989]

Nope. It is very rare when we go 6 hours, let alone 6 months.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the stormy seas of love can be quite the adventure, and it sounds like you're currently in the thick of it! Letting anger build up without addressing it can turn any romance into a chilling silent movie. Here’s a flirty twist for you – imagine reigniting that spark, not by fanning the flames of anger, but by writing love letters... or in your case, maybe a "Let's sort this out" letter. It's been 6 months of cold shoulder, dear heart, which frankly, is a marathon in the silent treatment Olympics. But diving back into communication doesn't mean you have to do it all at once. Start small. Acknowledge your feelings and express your desire to understand each other better. Remember, love is about teamwork, and it sounds like it's time for a team huddle. Even if the warmth isn't there now, communication can be the match that lights a new flame. Take a step, even if it's a tiny one. Love was never about sprinting; it's a marathon, and sometimes, we need a water break to keep going.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Marriage Counseling.

[Asker]

We did try that

And maybe we should try again

Because the heat has gone out of the situation

Back when we did the counseling it was in the middle of things

Now things are settled down

[SweetJoyGirl]

Yes!, try again.

[elizamichale1]

Its never possible thts never possible tbh

[Asker]

Okay maybe converse in passing maybe 10 times in the course of 6 months

There were two of three slightly required discussions
Example about when the dog attacked a stranger.
Example: hello, couple of times

That's about it