My girlfriend has a girlfriend, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Any advice?

Question

I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months, and we love each other. Early on, she told me she was bisexual, which didn’t change how I felt about her. However, about a month ago, she revealed her strong desire to explore being with a girl and wanted to experience it. Wanting her to find herself, I supported her decision.
After she started seeing this girl and becoming intimate with her, I began to feel insecure. She reassures me that her feelings for me haven’t changed, but I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. It’s making me doubt the trust we built, even though she hasn’t given me a reason to distrust her before. I’m also starting to feel like I put more effort into our relationship than I’m getting back. She’s almost in a relationship with both of us now, and I don’t know how to handle these feelings.

Realistic07 · Accepted Answer

I think it’s time for you to find your own girl on the side. She shouldn’t have a problem with it after all. Honestly, the relationship isn’t equal without you having your girl or without you sleeping with her girl.

Is a very weird dynamic? Yes yes it is. Do I suggest instead to just leave the relationship? Yes yes, I do.

The question is, what do you actually want to do because this is just the story about how you feel and secure well that’s fine and well. That said at the end of the day one does have to make some decisions. Those decisions that one may not want to make, but must. The answers as confusing as I’ve already listed above honestly all of the answers.

So take charge and have sex with the other woman that she is with, find your own woman besides the woman you’re with to enjoy yourself with, or simply leave the relationship.

Are those all the options? In the most practical way yes. That said there’s always space for a fourth option if it utilizes common sense.

The point of all this is for you to assess the next steps that you want to take. So what is it that you want to actually do about the matter?

razelove · Accepted Answer

Well, if you got into a monogamous relationship, you opened up to an open one when you shared your girl. No two ways about it.

Some people are monogamous, some are poly, some do open or casual relationships. Stick with what you're comfortable with and don't force yourself to change for someone else. I guarantee if this was a post about a guy being gay and needing a woman, or being married and wanting guys it would be filled with hate and discontent.

If you can't handle it, break up. I'd suggest start seeing other women in your open relationship while she's drifting away from you. It's better to find another ship before jumping into the open sea, because she already has one foot on another deck.

The puppy love for you wore off and now she found someone new. Why would it matter if it's a girl or a guy, if the person you're with exclusively wants to see other people, let them go, or don't be with them exclusively both ways.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Being bisexual doesn’t excuse cheating. However:

”However, about a month ago, she revealed her strong desire to explore being with a girl and wanted to experience it. Wanting her to find herself, I supported her decision”

Sounds like you gave her the okay to be with someone else…

If you’re not okay being in an open relationship, when she confessed to wanting to sexually explore with a female, you should have been honest that that kind of relationship isn’t for you…

Again, just because it’s a female and not a male, she’s still being sexual with more than just you , so you as can either agree to an open relationship or end it and find someone who wants a monogamous relationship…

thegreenyogi · Accepted Answer

The moment you start feeling insecure is the moment you need to step back. And if you don't feel 100% about this situation my advice to you is to not settle for it just so you can be with her. In any relationship when negative emotions arise it's never a good thing and it could cause resentment, arguments and everything that comes along with it. I also believe it would have been better to allow your girlfriend to explore her bisexuality without you in the picture because it's inevitable that the novelty of being with a girl for your girlfriend would override you.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the choppy waters of love and relationships—it's what I live for! When your significant other dives into a new sea of exploration, it's like being on a boat; you're still on the journey together, but the waters have suddenly gotten a bit rougher. It's absolutely natural to feel insecure when the dynamics of your relationship shift—especially when it opens up to include another person.

Communication, darling, is your North Star in this situation. Expressing your feelings, worries, and needs openly is key. It sounds like you've been incredibly supportive, but you also have to remember to take care of your own emotional wellbeing. Remember, it's okay to set boundaries that protect your heart.

Think about what you're really feeling. Is it fear of losing her? Feeling like you're not enough? Understanding your emotions will help you articulate them better to her. Love is about honesty, even when it's scary.

But here's the flirtatious spin: why not try to sprinkle a little more romance and excitement into your relationship? Sometimes, reminding each other why you fell for one another in the first place can reignite that spark and balance the scales a bit.

If after heart-to-hearts, love notes, and maybe even seeking a bit of professional guidance, you still feel like a guest star in your own relationship, it might be time to reassess. Love should make you feel secure and valued, not left holding the emotional luggage. Remember, it's about two hearts dancing in sync, not one chasing the other. Keep it spicy, keep it honest, and above all, keep it filled with love ❤️.

Anonymous · Answer

What does her being bi have to do with you guys now having an open relationship? Did you guys say you were ok with being poly or having an open relationship? This is no different than her being with another man. Girl on girl relationships are valid. Theyre real. Just as real as opposite sex or gay-male relationships.

And you dont need to be in a relationship or have sex with someone to know your attraction. I knew my sexuality before having done anything. I didn't need to “explore” for the sake of exploring to know i was into men.

Its too late for her to “explore”. she's with you. If it was such a pressing urge for her to be with another woman then you should have broken up with her. This is ridiculous. you're sharing your girlfriend with another person. If you're ok with having an open relationship, go explore with other people too if you wish. If she says no, she's a mega snake. She fooled you.

Twalli · Answer

Is her girlfriend bisexual? Honestly, it may be best to consider a throupe. With you dating both of them and them dating you and each other. Otherwise maybe try to convince her to have a threesome, even if the girl has no interest in you, you and her girlfriend can both focus on pleasuring her.
Do remember that you have something that her girlfriend will never have. A penis. Even dildos can't replicate the feeling of a penis. Even if her girlfriend is 100% homosexual, a penis will still feel good to her, even if she doesn't like what is attached to it.
There are options, but I need to know how open you three are, and what the actual sexual orientation of her girlfriend is.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

"I can't shake the feeling that something's off," says the guy whose girlfriend is having sex with someone else, and not even bothering to hide it.

Yes, something is very, very off.

Leave this woman, cut off all contact, and never have anything to do with her again.

Join a gym and start lifting weights. Or try learning Muay Thai. Or do SOMETHING that will reacquaint you with masculinity and/or self-respect.

You're in a toxic relationship, and you need to get the eff out, and then you need to correct the character weaknesses that make your girlfriend feel comfortable treating you this way.

Sorry to sound so harsh. I sincerely hope things get better for you.

Good luck.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

If it bothers you too much, you may have to ask her to stop seeing her. You allowed her to explore, well she did. If she doesn't leave her and if that is a dealbreaker, you know what to do. But you did give her green light to explore, is your mistake. Hers is being in a second relationship, that isn't exploring anymore.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

This is why I would never date a Bi person, they always kind of want to have both worlds. If your person doesn't want to be exclusive dump her, just because she is bi that doesn't mean you have to share her. If you are not happy in the relationship find someone who you are "enough" for. You don't have to settle for this type of half assed relationship especially when it is making you not feel secure.

RobT312 · Answer

Hey man, going from monogamous couple to any kind of non monogamous situation is challenging. (We tried it in our relationship too, just a different scenario). Your concerns and feelings are valid. Does she know how you feel? If not then you need to talk with her. Do u still support this? If not and if it’s not for you then either she has to stop seeing her girlfriend, or you need to move on. Have some big talks with her and you will figure it out!

Sunnysunny123 · Answer

I get that you were supportive of her decision and that is very nice of you, you tried and don't feel good about it. I think you should tell her that you want a monogamous relationship and let her decide what she wants to do. But i think since you tried and didn't like it, if she wants to continue and try to convince you that it will be okay just break up because for some people it is just not acceptable to share their partner.

Anonymous · Answer

You wanted an exclusive relationship but you are now in an open relationship. I haven't been in that exact scenario before but similar. My ex cheated on me with another woman. When I found out she justified it by saying it wasn't cheating because it wasn't with a man, which is bullshit. I would suggest ending it bro. Your relationship with her will never be what you want it to be, and you'll never be able to trust her.

menina · Answer

If you feel insecure and you're monogamous then you should break up with her. You guys are not the same page.

melnc · Answer

Break up with her if you're straight and want to be someone who is as straight as you are. It's best not to have anyone else share your girlfriend, so let her go.

thatshydork · Answer

Talk to her about it, but really think about and consider your words first. Part of having a healthy relationship is great communication.

Tim2nice · Answer

She’s bisexual and will always desire a woman in her life. If you can’t accept that move on. But I’d give it a try. People are capable of loving 2 people at the same time

paledreams · Answer

If it's actually a girlfriend rather than a girl who's a friend ; I'd be like uhhh 👀 I'm single again because I am a monogamous straight prude lol 😆

ManInChains · Answer

That is cheating and I would break up with her. Thi is why no one should trust bisexual people when it comes to relationships.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Stop being so insecure. It is not a big deal.

Jpie555 · Answer

Sounds like an awesome opportunity for a threesome, lol 😝

Anonymous · Answer

She's playing you. She will go with her and call it off with you. As you say she's hardly around.  I'd dump her if I were you.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

FUCK... ASK IF YOU CAN WATCH

Anonymous · Answer

I really feel sorry for you man. Gott steh dir bei

Titus_of_Ultramar · Answer

Damm

My girlfriend has a girlfriend, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Any advice?

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