The first year was rocky and we mutually held a lot of resentment for each other, she had many red flags, she didn't really respect me as a person and all I ever did was try to make her feel comfortable, she dumped me a few days before new years to sleep with a guy she liked in high school, the excuse was her friends peer pressuring, then she blamed him for convincing her into having sex and didn't really take any accountability. All I did that week but sit in my room, the next two weeks I took her back and did the same thing to her on a random Wednesday night with a girl I liked before her. It was disgusting and I wouldn't do it again.
We got better and had like two and a half years of not fighting but this past year she moved on the opposite side of the country for med school she got accepted to the one in our town and she was telling me prior if she did she'd 100% stay, and we were planning on moving in and starting a life together and she lied. She convinced me to come and I was so sad because I had a really good job, I really didn't want to move away from my family and she didn't give a fuck. She expected me to figure out how to move her stuff all the way across the country, which I did and it costed a lot. I've been feeling depressed trying to find a job and I can't find the energy to do anything and she blames me. It took me two weeks after she got there to get a trailer and bring her stuff. she's been aware I don't like her going out without me because of our drama, and while I was saving up for the trailer she went to 3 parties we fought about the first one and she said I wasn't there so I can't do a damn thing. She also said that she had sex with her girl best friend while I was gone as well. She's now going to a bunch of parties not inviting me and consistently staying hours late while I sit at home alone. She told me today that she's going to a guys birthday party tonight and I'm tried and she's looking really ugly to me and I would love some advice.
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The only advice anyone outside of our situation would give is: cancel everything with her, abort any of these mistakes you're going to continue doing, get back on track with your regular life.
You can't be surprised she lied to you about anything, a cheater is also a liar, and that won't change because being a liar or a cheater is a matter of personal values and perception, other than a very pathetic lack of responsibility which she showcased already while trying to play the "person with disability" role by being not accountable for her very direct responsibilities in cheating on you, as if she can avoid that because of some disability special status or some shit, right? No.
She is not adding anything to your life, only subtracting. She took off your respect, dignity (literally cheated on you twice and you accepted that, rewarding her for doing so, by staying with her and settling that as a new norm), time, money. She makes you walk on eggshells, feel anxious, disrespected, discouraged, depressed, tired. This is not what a relationship is made for... What you should get is respect, care, love, support, encouragement, stability, trust, fun, serenity. Look for these things in your life. If she is not up to this basic standard, then leave.
Now I assume you are still with her only beacuse of hope and because you spent so much energy on her you feel like in debt and are starving to get something back from her now, kind of addicted to that. Well by this dynamic you're going to hang there forever. She is not going to change and become suddenly mature and responsible (especially if men like you keep rewarding her for doing what she does), this won't happen even in the next 5 years in any relevant way. And she is not going to give you back all the things you sacrificed to stay with her. This is a trap where a lot of people fall into.
At this point given her style I think if you try to break up with her she will start with some giant victimistic scene, to make you feel responsible and guilty, with a lot of passive aggression, crying, getting desperate, maybe even talking about suicide, getting all miserable to your feet. This is normal and expectable, you have to ignore this reaction, she will try everything to seem genuine to you but she's not, and nothing will really change after that if you accept her back. Break up and do NOT look back, don't let her fool you anymore. The more you invest and sacrifice for her, the more you trap yourself and get addicted to her crumbles. This chance of visiting your father is a golden one, use it. Collect your stuff already if you have anything to her place, silently, then leave with no need to contact her back for anything, after the breakup.
Man.. I had heaches when I was writing all that things u wrote, don't get me wrong but I am being honest here.. dude u sounding like absolute beta boy or I would say a cuckold. My biggest advice to you is watch some Andrew Tate man.
Or let me be more clear with you, from the things you wrote I see u are a man who doesn't respect himself, maybe u say u do but it seems unconsciously you actually don't. Why I think like that? Because a normal man wouldn't accept to date with a girl who has too many red-flags, especially if she cheats on you then u gotta dump her seriously. In nature the biggest thing a woman can give you is the ''respect'' but it seems that woman already lost her respect to you, she is using you as a ''attention source'' she doesn't date u because she has feelings for you or finding you attractive, she is just using you. My advice is, you better man up.. leave that b*tch and go on your way.
Otherwise u will continue to be worried about useless and cheap girls like that who doesn't care about you and have sex with other people, you're not respected by her. Just don't give value and love to women like that, punish her.. and leave her alone, give her the life she deserves ''being a piece of meat''
when I was reading all that things you wrote***
I did too man, I used to have respect for myself. I feel like I was gaslighted into think everything was okay for so long, she made me the villain and shut down the conversation. Honestly I wouldn't care if it was any other girl when it comes to going out. In some of my spare time I've been listening to people spreading messages that pretty much paint the picture of the relationship I'm in and how bad it is for me and it seemed well for the past couple years but we're going in a bad place and I can't trust her, like she got drunk the night my brother came to visit (his best friend lives in the same city and he had time off work), we went out to a restaurant and she basically came out as lesbian at a restaurant in front of him like she specifically said she wasn't straight, bisexual and she knows she's lesbian now because she's been having sex with her best friend from her new class. It was pretty humiliating for me the after spending all my work hours into moving her into her new place, physically moving her stuff, leaving my family and for her to be so ignorant and selfish (it's cool I'm not a homophonic or anything but how could a human be so cold). I didn't see this shit coming man its really just been we were good and for some reason she turned into this bitch who treats me cold and I'm aware I should deserve respect. Tbh I'm leaving to Vegas on a last minute trip because my dad thinks he is sick (don't want to say what he thinks it is cause you can't knock on wood in a thread) and wanted to go to Vegas with all his kids just in case he does so I can't say no so I'm in a position I could leave on a really fun note but I also feel like that would spoil the trip. I'm aware life would be better without her or this her for myself and I'm really thinking about taking off.
I hope your dad gets better bruh, well yeah.. as I told you man. As I said, the biggest thing u can do here now is breaking up with her because this will continue, u can't be with a woman who doesn't listen and respect you maybe my comment might trigger some feminists lol but this is the reality. If she acts cold, there is no way out u can turn her back.. u just gotta teach her a lesson and break up with her, then she will understand and she will beg you.. but still u won't accept her back and she will feel like a used, unvaluable girl.. like she already is.