Has someone ever mistook you being nice to them as you being interested in them?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

This is something that happens primarily to women, but it happened to me as well.

In the last month I have been having an auditor following my activities - it's standard procedure in my field. She's young (not even 25), just graduated and this is her first job.

She does her best to be professional and stick to the rules and guidelines, to the point of being overly strict - which I understand - however I noticed she tends to jump to conclusions. For example, I did my best to make her feel welcome, finding a good parking spot for her, also trying to mentor her a bit since she has just started while also respecting her authority as an auditor.

One day I asked her if I could treat her for lunch, and she said "But aren't you married with children?". I was a bit taken aback and said that I am, and if she wanted she could have met them. It was then that she made a very strange face and sputtered a bit, before agreeing to go out. My impression is that she mistook me being nice and giving her all those attentions as either me trying to get good reports from her or me actually being into her. Or both.

Updates

1 y

If you are wondering how is our relationship now - she insisted she wanted to see some paperwork from 1967 to 1987

Updates

1 y

, we spent the whole morning going through dusty papers in an old wet cellar, until she had some kind of coughing fit and we gave up on it.

[jshm2]

Of course. Lots of times.

I remember back in my junior days I was working for a different fortune 500 company and we had new interns that week. I was well known round the office and I asked one of the interns to coffee. Nothing sexual, just platonic as wanted to know what the "new starts" had in their heads.

Anyway, within a week she was bossing the others around like she was my wife. Within a month she was acting like CEO and expecting me to back her up. Really broke her down, when I rounded on her, and had her kicked out instead.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yes that has happened. One negative experience with that was living in the dorm in college. I was a pretty friendly guy and there was one young lady who I talked to on occasion. There was an incident where I was trying to talk to her and she started yelling at me and named off some reasons why she didn't like me. Very weird since the situation didn't call for anything like that. From then on I kept my distance from her but I ran into her about a year and a half later and she was friendly and apologetic. There was something up where she was having significant psychological issues when she was shunning people.

[luvstoned4him]

All the time and its annoying. However, what I've noticed is that most people never were shown love and attention and so when you do its like this rare unicorn moment and then they attach themselves to you pretty quickly.

[mandyfire98]

Many many times. Made even worse by the fact that my personality is very outgoing.

[debtfree_oneyear]

It's hard as a guy to distinguish before a woman just being nice and her being interested in you

[mandyfire98]

Yeah I know lol. Trust me

[OlderAndWiser]

There was a mentally retarded woman at my church who always attended with her mother. I tried to always be polite but I never acted overly-friendly towards her. She asked me for a date, which I respectfully declined.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, it was a colleague of mine. I would have been interested in her if I had been single, but I really was just nice to all colleagues.

[ManOnFire]

Oh this happens to me quite often, and mostly with younger women. They misread you and take your kindness as meaning interest. Although I'm sure most men go through this regularly. Girls are almost always thinking a guy is into them for anything he says or does. It can get to be pretty frustrating.

[zagor]

Yes! Twice where I used to work MARRIED women who I was nice to went out of there way to point out they were married, apparently thinking I was interested in them. They were both quite unattractive and that was the farthest thing from my mind.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I wonder what goes on inside their heads when this happens.
I am second-guessing everything I say now.

[Inafishbowl99]

Yes too many times in the past mainly by old men. I was just being friendly and polite by chatting away to them. only they seemed to think they could take a chance and ask me on a date.

This usually took place while waiting at a bus stop.. often same day and time and I was usually helping them with their heavy bags or helping them cross the road..

[RingOfFire]

🤣When I went to restaurants with my Grandfather years ago, he always used to flirt with the waitresses. This guy was a charmer and I swear sometimes they WERE interested. I was always amazed at their reactions!

[genericname85]

yeah. but i did have a crush on that girl anyway, so i clearly couldn't think straight.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I undestand.
In my case I don't feel anything so I wonder how I could have given that impression.

[genericname85]

ah sorry i missread your question. i thought you meant mistaking them being nice for them being interested.

yes i had the other way around too. it was with a friend of mine and i noticed she was interested so i was already trying to send all the signals i could to show i'm not... she asked me out anyway. i guess if someone likes you, you can really do whatever you want and they'll still interpret it as interest, cause it's wishfull thinking.

[nolabels]

Yep.
The situation required police intervention over a period of a couple of years to bring it to an end.
It was aggravating to live through.

[Minky17]

I have this issue with men when it comes to flirting. I can't tell if it's real or not. When I move on, they tell me they were flirting for real. But I never know bc I tell people to be direct with me instead of playing games.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I feel like woman just think because I'm a guy I'm into them. I do flirt and I probably come across as a fuck boy but aside from one night stands I'm pretty hard to get into a relationship with atp

[ProbablyClueless]

Yes! I've had several women do things like that. It's actually cost me a number of friendships over the years. It's really annoying.

[Amy10223]

Yes, I have been nice to men to help them in a situation and they thought I was interested romantically. Or flirting? It’s odd that things what people think when you’re kind or helpful.

[Anonymous]

Yes, two guys I used to go to school with. I never called them delusional but I definitely thought it my mind these guys are delusional

[NathanDavis]

many times... but I learned to "avoid it" or, to make sure they didn't get the wrong ideas

[Unap0logetic_]

Not being with them, but being down to sleep with them.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah but it's understandable so I don't give a shit.

[jojouzumaki]

A couple of times. Though I understand why they mistook it from just me being nice. They probably met people before that made them skeptical.

[Ladsin2]

None that come to mind. Maybe I'm not that nice to people.

[Bricealan]

Yes, and it is a little embarrassing for that to happen.

[BetaBucks]

Most definitely. Big girls especially.

[Agape93]

Yeap

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

How does it feel?
I feel a bit bad about it, I keep questioning what I did wrong since I never had this problem, and worst of all if I came across as a creep.

[Agape93]

Annoying. I have to correct them and they 9/10 get mad at me for it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes! This chick last year! Omg. SO annoying!

[Becky316]

So many times, at times it sucked

[Crazzyyworld]

All the time..

[LiamJHayden]

Frequently.

[Dinklex3]

Yes. A lot.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it happened a few times.

[jahaims]

Yeah