She has guy friends?

[Anonymous]

Long distance relationship, and my girlfriend has guy friends and talks to guys, which makes me very uncomfortable. I told her to stop, but she don’t wanna stop because it’s her friends. Which I don’t understand why she needs attention from other men. They were two guys asked her to go for a run together. I told her that it would make me uncomfortable if they would do that she didn’t go for a run, which I am very grateful for, but some other guys asked her to study and she wanted to go study with them, the trust is very important in a long relationship. I told her it’s OK as long as it’s in a public place and not privately. But I do worry about this all the time if there’s a guy always there. I feel like I would want to be the only man in her life, but she said that she wants her friends. it could be that she only friends regardless of gender. But as a man, it does make me uncomfortable and honestly, I don’t know if this is normal because it’s my first relationship too. I just don’t wanna be controlling. I want to set boundaries because I do stress a lot. I do feel like it is creating a lack of trust when she talks with other guys, and I mean, privately as friends. But it could be, for example that she met someone in school and they are friends after just meeting and I’m not OK with that hanging out with guys. This is destroying the trust that we have built. Because then I worry and for me, for example there’s no problem with stopping talking with the girls. I don’t want to make her jealous, but I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t understand that it’s making me jealous and creating a lot of trust. I need advice. I don’t know what to do.

[AnonGal233]

im also in a long distant relationship and its hard for me as well. its hard for me to trust what really going on over there. knowing him he's a pretty sexual person and i dont really know about his sexual past and im thinking about asking. because at the end of the say,, im just giving myself a hard time about all of this. some of the times i see he's communicating with me then the other times i have distain because i dont know if he's being 100 percent honest with me. im literally about to go crazy. he's an orthodox christian tho, but i dont know. tell your girlfriend firmly that in order for things to work out, you need to build that trust and understand that you are serious about her. ask if she's serious about you and see where that goes. otherwise, tell her if she doesn't follow your requests to make you feel at ease, consider twice about her. dont waste your time if she doesn't apply those requests in action. no, its not being controlling, its having boundaries. sure I've had guyfriends when i was dating someone but I've also known them for a long while. and yes, i know its harder for men to have friendships with women. its an unfortunate dynamic that this life gave us. nothing is ever simple and we all have to suffer from this.

[Asker]

She trust me 100% she says it’s okay for me to party and have girl “friends” so the trust is on me. Put she told me about her past that she used tinder for fun, she used to get a lot of guys. She wanted to tell me the body count saying it’s not that high. But I didn’t want to hear it because it’s disgusting to me. She also slept with a guy before we were officially together. I don’t know how to tell her how I am feeling. I just want to feel safe and know she won’t do anything stupid. She stopped going to parties for me which means she cares about me. It’s not hard to have girl “friends” the girl friends I have are not attractive, I stopped talking to all of them because It feels disrespectful to my girl and I don’t want her getting jealous. I am being considerate. She says I should trust her more. But I don’t want guys surrounding her like that. I don’t want her to isolate herself. But just not text privately. I shouldn’t text my girl “friend” because she has a boyfriend. It would feel weird and disrespectful to him. But she doesn’t want to cut out her guy friends it’s weird to me and a turn off honestly. We are in this together 🤝 I think trust is key even if it means getting hurt in the end potentially.

[kylee2437]

You aren’t going to win this one. You aren’t in her actual life enough for your words to matter or even remotely take into consideration. I’d break up.

[Zack-Bann]

LDR is not for you bro. And that’s not a bad thing.


Unfortunately girls will always have men orbiting them. But when you’re in a close proximity relationship you will become the center of her attention so much that other men will fade away.


In an LDR you’re just a face on a screen she vents to before bed
But during the day she’s still getting attention and picking and choosing who gets hers.


It’s sad but necessary.


End it. Move on. And find a girl in your area

[Asker]

I don’t know man… i do like her a lot

[Zack-Bann]

I know it’s not easy. And you wanna picture it working out. That’s normal

But unless there’s a medium term plan for one of you to relocate and have a close proximity relationship you’ll be dragging out a situation that causes nothing but pain

I’ve been in your shoes a few years back and it broke my heart to have to break hers but ultimately we both got to move on with our lives.

A great friend of mine on the other hand worked it out with his girl to move in with him where he was staying and now they’re engaged

So you have a choice to make and by that I mean both of you
But just dragging on the LDR hoping she somehow falls madly in love with you and shuts away all other guys from ever being in her life is not a viable option

[noohair]

You are not ready for any relationship. You sound very immature and have no self confidence. What you are doing is very controlling and paranoid. Get your sh! t together or you will be miserable.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I aim to help you navigate these feelings with a sprinkle of humor and understanding. 😉 It's completely normal to feel a bit jelly when your girlfriend interacts with other guys, especially in a long-distance relationship. Trust is your best buddy here. Remember, friendships don't have to threaten your relationship. It's spicy to communicate without imposing, and focus on finding a mutual understanding. Just because she has guy friends doesn't mean she's lovebombing them! It's fabulous that you respect her independence; relationships thrive on that. Keep communicating openly and maybe share more about how you feel without trying to control her choices. You got this! 🌟

[Selene1600000]

Your feelings are understandable, especially in a first long distance relationship, but asking her to stop talking to all guys is not a healthy or realistic boundary. Trust is not built by removing every possible male friend from her life, it is built by seeing whether she consistently respects you, communicates openly, and behaves appropriately with other people. Instead of trying to control who she talks to, focus on whether her actions actually give you reasons not to trust her, because jealousy and fear alone can slowly damage the relationship more than her friendships will.

[Nikki1989]

Seek therapy. This childish insecurity will only get much worse.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You sound insecure as hell

[Ariesman81]

She gets it... she just doesn't care

[Anonymous]

Break up with her or get over it