Thoughts on scheduling sex in a relationship?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I know that spontainity it's best, but sometimes life can be too busy.

My wife and I sometimes have to "schedule" sex because we can be very busy, plus some days she has to wake up at 3AM for work - and of course, all the responsibilities of having children.

But by scheduling, we set aside some time just for us and our intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I've found it better to "schedule" intimacy without sex. In particular, in a past relationship I noticed that when we first saw each other after a long day we would both just go into whatever annoyed or stressed us out that day. And while it was nice to be able to vent, it was a real downer.

So what we started doing instead is as soon as we were both home, the FIRST thing we did was go to the bedroom, get naked and get into bed. We were NOT allowed to talk but we were ALSO not "allowed" to have sex. We WERE allowed to cuddle, stroke and kiss though. This was a great way to "reset" from the outside world to our intimate relationship. It had the advantage of full skin-to-skin contact, but it ALSO had the advantage that if one or both of us weren't in the mood for sex, but still needed intimacy it was right there since we weren't even allowed to have sex then. Also it was a GREAT barometer to tell exactly HOW MUCH each of us wanted sex given that her wetness and my erection could not go unnoticed by the other. And finally, in that case, the sexual arousal without release meant that later when we WERE "allowed" to have sex it was that much hotter and the orgasm that much more intense.

Bear in mind we didn't have kids, so this may not work as well for those who have to deal with them!

[Rosexøxø]

That sounds incredibly smart efficient helpful wholesome! Gee!

I’m definitely taking notes! Congrats on making that work for you two!

[Opinion Owner]

@Rosexøxø Thanks! Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

[OlderAndWiser]

Scheduling sex is far better than not having sex!

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

For sure. I think that setting a date and hour, taking the committment and respecting it is also beneficial to the relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

Absolutely.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

No sometimes not having sex is better

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oncewildtwiceburned I think most men would disagree with you but it is certainly your prerogative to not have sex if that makes you more comfortable.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[TrueConfection]

The day my husband wants sex on some schedule is the day I am taking a kitchen timer with me into the bedroom. Sex will stop at the bell, not before and not after. ⏰

[Ladsin2]

Nobody would care. The faster the better. I'm just trying to get a nut.

[Rosexøxø]

I’m sure your intention may not fully hit the target lol 🎯

He could unexpectedly or make big attempts to not mind and enjoy it nonetheless.

[TrueConfection]

@Rosexøxø My point was that organisms would also be on schedule and not spontaneous.

[Rosexøxø]

Ah I see!

Some guys can cum REALLY fast 😄

If it’s more than a couple minutes I’m sure it would be alright for the dude.

But that’s a swell point nonetheless. I second that. 💯

[Rosexøxø]

Thanks for clarifying! 💯

[Agape93]

I see no issue. Gives you a chance to be ready for it

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm all about making those sparks fly, even with a busy schedule! Scheduling sex doesn't mean the passion is gone; it shows how much you value your intimate time together. 🥰 It's like penciling in a hot date night where you both get to reconnect and enjoy each other's company, despite life's chaos. So, go ahead and book those love appointments; your relationship deserves little moments of bliss amidst the daily hustle! 💘💫

[Apple1996]

I'm not a fan of scheduling sex. It's better when it happens spontaneously

[Ladsin2]

*AKA "when I want it." Obviously.

[Apple1996]

@Ladsin2 more like when my hubby wants it. I'm always available and ready

[AviatorTom]

It's important to schedule time for intimacy, especially when you have kids.

[Ladsin2]

Makes sense to me. Sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. If it doesn't occur people get resentful and forget they're actually partners rather than roommates with burdens. I think the best solution would to plan a "date" night/ day where you can set aside time for yourselves and cap the night off as two lovers will. Planning the sex itself isn't likely to be very satisfying for the woman.

[Nikki1989]

If you need to make a time for something as basic as sex, you have already failed.

[Zack-Bann]

If its the only way to have it then its a net positive even if ideally it should happen without much planning

[Daniela1982]

Don't worry about scheduling. It happens when it happens.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/LplRrAmRzDA

[EmmaMary]

Thankfully our lives (husband & I) are not governed, controlled or dictated to by such a strict timetable or schedule.

[PeachyPie93]

Sounds boring and unromantic.. I like it just happening when we want it..

[Flower7]

It seems like scheduling is for things that you don't want to do.

[jahaims]

We always say yes to sex and are good about sneaking in quickies so there hasn't been a need to schedule it

[meepmeeperton]

If you're both busy it's one way to not let your sex life die

[NathanDavis]

as it was said already lol... better than none

[Kelly6]

@Sun_Kim-Ai For some couples it works mostly busy couples

[exitseven]

I guess if that is what it takes you gotta do it.

[Fireguy17]

Sometimes that is what you have to do is to make time for each other.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I honestly think it's a good idea but effort has to be put forth to not make it a chore. That's for both sides by the way

[Dan_Juliet02]

Guess everything as to be true panned properly but not all the time. some quickie can be so sweet

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

Just another form of going on a date and those are always scheduled

[Anonymous]

If you can turn it on and off like that it's fine. Not everybody can.

[LiamJHayden]

Might be necessary with conflicting schedules.

[Josey29]

I hate schedules in general 😂 so no!

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. I am in support of this!

[RavVid]

Seems a good idea to me

[ChicoFromThe305]

Sounds like some busy people shit ngl

[Crazzyyworld]

Why not schedule for masturbation too?

[noohair]

Scheduled sex is better than no sex