Are you the one who pays when you invite someone?

Question

I’ve invited you to a trip - I’ve invited you to a dinner - and so on, who’s paying?  Need a bit help with English

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

If you invite someone, you generally pay unless you are specific about who pays for what from the very beginning.

It's totally fine to say "Taylor Swift is coming to our local stadium in 3 months. Want to go with me? Tickets are $80 each and we can split driving and parking costs." That way, you have set expectations before they have to give an answer. If you just invited them without discussing costs, it's going to be assumed that you are paying.

Having said that, if you are the guest, you SHOULD expect to, at the very least, pay all your own incidental costs, such as food/snacks, souvenirs, and any other extras. If you can afford to, it's good to pay at least some of the main costs, or at least offer. If they say no, then maybe you buy dinner or something. But know that some people will assume that if you invite them, that you are paying for literally everything. Those aren't good friends.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

The respectful thing to do , is pay if you are the one inviting someone else out with you , you should never expect someone else to pay for you period , if they invited you out , then the respectful thing for them to do is pay for you. If a girl calls me up and asks me to meet her for drinks or dinner and she is expecting me to pay for her , she is out of her mind , I will make it clear to her over the phone and say are you treating or are we paying for ourselves? Or I will tell her I am strapped on cash so sorry I can’t go , if she offers to pay for me then I will tell her it’s my treat next time. Why communication is important , don’t just expect someone else to pay for you period

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

Depends on financial situation… someone is way to general… I would never pay for all that for just someone…

my little sister when she is trying to save to buy a house… I like to pay for her meals.
my friend who is an adult, financially doing okay, we split when we go out or travel regardless of who invites.

Dating? Both adults making money… take turn treating… for something special let the man be the man. As a woman, do something nice with nice gestures.

if the guy is making over $10m. let him treat mostly… still give a little gift, or cook a yummy meal or buy a little ice cream cone or a cup of coffee…nice gesture

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

If it is a friend inviting me out I pay myself.
If it is a long term partner he pays for me, if he forgot his wallet I don't mind paying but most the time I expect my mans to pay for me lol.
I don't invite people out so I don't necessarily have to worry about it. And I don't go on trips with people I am not super close to.. and if we are super close we can discuss the trip and how we are gonna pay and whatnot..

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Helping people navigate the tricky waters of relationships is my passion, so here goes! Traditionally, the person doing the inviting usually takes the tab, but who doesn't love a friendly discussion about splitting the bill for teamwork vibes? 🎉 Plus, sharing can set a nice tone and keep things balanced. Communication is key, right? 😉 Anyway, who doesn’t love teamwork in a relationship? Building it together is magical! 💕

AviatorTom · Answer

Common protocol is that the host, the person doing the inviting, pays, unless there's a discussion and agreement beforehand.

For example, you could invite me to take a trip with you, and you clearly say we'll each pay half of the total cost. Or you might say fir a dinner, Let's go to dinner, Dutch treat, which means we each pay half.

Billlewis · Answer

Oh, absolutely, and my desire to pay for a woman's night out doesn't end there, either. Whenever I'm on a date with an attractive woman, the first thing I want to know is if she's dating anyone else, and if she has a date scheduled with another guy at that specific time. If the answer to either of those questions is yes, I respectfully ask her if she'd consider allowing me to pay for her next date with her other male acquaintance. If I'm granted the privilege of paying for her next date, I'll make every effort to convince her to let me do so on an ongoing basis, because if she's in an intimate sexual relationship with the other guy, I want to be as supportive of that relationship as I possibly can be.

RavVid · Answer

Your English is very good but colloquialisms can throw non native speakers.

In general because activities have got more expensive I'd think the expectation is people will pay for their costs. The exception being a date where often the man will pay.

Is the question in the context that it is not formally a date or you are not sure it is a date where the guy will pay?

If I said I'll take you then I will probably pay. if I said would you have dinner with me I'll probably pay. If I said would you like to have dinner with me I might not.

I think the non verbal communication is going to be clearer than the English.

SnowyOwl · Answer

I think If someone wants to pay for you or if you want to pay for them it should be clearly stated "let me pay for you" or "it's on me"... Otherwise I assume we are splitting the bill. Never expect someone else to pay for you, because of they can't pay for you they will feel bad and you will feel bad... Communication is important

ronandamberspencer · Answer

If I invite you to anything, it is a given that I will be paying.

If I invite a group of people, I will tell everyone what the cost is, and tell them upfront that everyone is expected to pay their own way; unless I have decided to pay for everyone.

Sometimes I will offer to pay, knowing the person I am inviting is the type to not accept me paying for them, however, I am fully prepared to pay for them if they do accept me paying.

In my circle, usually the man pays for himself and his family. If there are multiple families, each family pays their own, and the man is the leader of his family and covers all expenses for his family. I don't have any friends that are not like this.

molonski2 · Answer

Technically I'm sure you are correct , but I reckon it depends on circumstance. If someone invited me and say I know they are making 30k baht per month , I'd pay.
Conversely , let's say she's a business owner with plenty , she'd pay - this does happen here , but it's an 80 - 20 thing.

So for the 80 % I'd pay , but I've also had the 20 % , I'd buy her a token of appreciation. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

glennos89 · Answer

If you make the first step by asking people out you can't expect them to pay the whole bill. First you need to know if they have the funds for it, then you can suggest to split the bill and if your lucky he/she will offer to pay the full bill. But never ask someone out and expect them to pay for it! Asker is often the one who pays but I prefer splitting if I'm tight with my money

NathanDavis · Answer

yes, of course... I am inviting someone to somewhere or something, I am ready and willing to cover any expense  dates, friends, family... all the same

Account · Answer

Of course. I am happy to do so. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Unit1 · Answer

I would if we're already in a relationship and i wasn't broke.

RingOfFire · Answer

It depends. Is it a date? Is it a friendship? If it's a date and I invite her I always pay. If I invite a friend to do something with me then either we each pay for ourselves or maybe we take turns.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

If you are the one inviting, you are the one paying.  Pretty trashy to invite someone out or to do something big and expect them to pay.

LiamJHayden · Answer

It depends. If I ask her on a date, yes. If I say to a group of friends, "I'm going to lunch at Coliseum." and they want to go as well, it is understood that those people are paying for themselves.

EmmaMary · Answer

I would certainly make it very clear that I'm footing all the bills/checks etc.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have no issues with paying for anything.

soe11 · Answer

If I invite some one for dinner or vacation, I must provide his or her experience. Aĺ depending upon person to person and relationship

genericname85 · Answer

The difference is in the wording. If I say "let's grab lunch together" you'll pay for your meal.  If I say "let me invite you to dinner", I'll pay.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Absolutely I don't mind I love sharing. I rather pay instead of give it to greedy pastor's.

superchan2011 · Answer

I am. Whether my ex would plan our time out or I would I would almost always pay gladly as I feel that's the man's duty

Iron_Man · Answer

The first time But somebody’s gotta make plans for the next get together and I don’t wanna have to pay for the next 100 dates back to back to back she can help out

jazzy34 · Answer

When you say it’s  your  treat, it should be obvious who’s going to foot the bill.

Amur8711 · Answer

Yes Because you invited I think its proper you pay or help pay for them trip. However any extras they buy are on their own.

re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (0, 0, 0), justifyLeft

Agape93 · Answer

Yeapre-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

I don't work so I can't pay. Of course, if the other party accepts it, he can pay.

exitseven · Answer

yes, you invite me I expect that you will pay.

shortster · Answer

That is the polite way of doing things re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

msc545 · Answer

If I'm with you I'm paying. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

I'm a guy so I'm assuming I am paying for the girl. Unless I was told otherwise.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Yes if you invite your supposed to pay re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Yes and isn't that normal?

Alex-Snow · Answer

If I do the invite then I pay

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Depends , who are you inviting a man or woman?

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Yes if I invite I pay

jahaims · Answer

It depends who is better off financially.

Jerre · Answer

I will always pay for everything.

Liz1990 · Answer

At time or we split we have agreed from before.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Of course

Intheclouds00 · Answer

Of course

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