Should I trust him or call it quits?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. 2 years ago I found out he slept with someone else, the girl messaged me a week after it happened cause he was at hers drinking again (don’t understand his thought process in this) he was drunk when it happened, as difficult as it was we worked on it for a few months and managed to get past it and it did make us stronger.
We spoke about everything and came to the conclusion it happened because of our sex life, it hadn’t been the best for months prior and we were at the point where we weren’t getting along most days either.

3 weeks ago, I was told he slept with someone else. I’ve spoke with him about it and he has admitted to it. I would usually agree to leave him in this situation but it turns out he slept with this girl before the other one, it was over 2 years ago and again, when we were going through our rough patch.

He said he’s took every action to make sure it doesn’t happen again and said seeing me 2 years ago after finding out about it in the firstplace and how much my mental health was affected by it killed him and that he could never watch me go through that again. He was drunk on both occasions but I’m just struggling to trust him now I know it wasn’t just one mistake.

Wanted a males perspective on this and whether they think trying to keep the relationship going is worth it or if I’m likely to get hurt again

[lightbulb27]

'boy' is the correct word, but "friend"? That is a stretch. Maybe "boy child", "man sick"? rethink your terminology... it will help you feel better when the truth aligns with the word. As it is..."boyfriend", that is gaslighting yourself!

For him, he is an immature child and a dangerous one. Im not sure how many 'knives' you can take to the back and still be standing... while he is figuring himself out?

Clearly... he's warped and maybe learning.. but maybe learning to say right things and avoid real issues... which happens a lot, whom educated him? He uses alcohol as a drug and then makes big mistakes. So the solution is no alcohol... ever. Sure as F not around other single females... EVER! but that means dealing with deeper issues. And then deal with why your private life doesn't work as well as the thrills he gets being drunk.

My honest opinion give when I've seen in life... move on... and figure out what draw you to him in the first place because that needs fixed in you. Maybe you like "projects". I don't tolerate drugs at all... its hard enough dealing with a human brain, but add drugs to it... and you are screwed. some people can tolerate it, but for this guy, it's a gateway drug to his wickedness.

you could study the book of Job to learn the degree of patience and sacrfice required to manage life with such a person.

[meepmeeperton]

My male perspective is that alcohol and being in a "rough patch" are just excuses. The thought of his penis being inside other women while you were committed to him and then going back inside you should be so repulsive that you break up with him immediately, I mean just think about that.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the trust rollercoaster can be quite the ride, can’t it? Your situation sounds like a relationship soap opera I’ve dived into before. Trust is like a precious vase, once cracked, it can be glued together, but those cracks often remain. If he’s genuinely showing change, working on himself, and you've both dealt with lovebombing or any red flags, maybe there’s still magic left! 🪄✨ However, if it feels more like dodging ghosting warnings than building stronger bridges, make sure to protect your heart. Trust your intuition, and take your time, lovely!

[Avicenna]

I have no idea why you’re still with a serial cheater

[molonski2]

Im very Sorry , but this guy is never going to change his colours , its time to cut clean and simply let him go , he will never stop , you are simply his " backstop " , cut clean the dead wood.

[seanscoopers]

Just quit himre-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft