What does a man paying for a first date do for a woman?

[chris_987]

Cuz I don't believe paying or not paying makes you more or less attracted.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Women have a code word for finding a sucker that will give up all his money...

"Generous"

That word is actually the first word in Womanese that I learned. There's the dictionary, English version of that word (generous) and then there is the Womanese version of that word.

This is why I make them pay for every date. I would never "date" at all otherwise since I view it as a waste of time and money. Do the math... If buying a hooker, getting my rocks off, and then getting back to what I want to do with my time is cheaper... she isn't worth it.

Go ahead and scroll around and see the word "generous" being used as if it's a noble male thing to do instead of being 'code' for finding a sucker that is easy to get him to part with his time and money. Even blue-pilled simps that get cheated on even buy into that ideology.

[Apple1996]

you're big mad that I used the word generous aren't you?

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Apple1996 No... I was trolling around on a dating site (Plenty of Fish), and I kept reading the profiles where they give that long list of perquisites that men have to be, while they skip anything that they have to offer. Anyway, I kept seeing them use the word "generous" and I was like "What the fuck do they mean by that?"

So I asked my wife and that's what she told me. They're looking for men that will give up all their shit... willingly. Pay pigs basically. Simps... even though women don't have respect for simps. It started to make sense to me after my wife explained it to me.

She explained some other words that get used like that too... I just labeled it gendered double meanings until some chick talked about it on youtube and I got introduced to the term "Womanese," which I thought was fucking hilarious. "Feminism" for instance... and I can't really remember them all off the top of my head but when I see them I recognize them now. Most males know these words as what is in the dictionary and don't have the greater meanings (hidden meanings) understood. It slips right by them and they don't even recognize as possibly something else. ... I mentioned 'feminism' because I run into that a lot on this site, or at least used to... but when I recognize they're being a female-supremacist/femanazi/womanist, they'll hide behind the dictionary definition even after they just said "We should kill all men."

I did notice you and another user used that "generous" word... wasn't trying to call you two out or anything. The question is about paying for dates, and that just clicks my brain onto those women that will order multiple meals to take home and make the man pay (with no play)... the ones that demand "a generous man" all the time. For all I know you two are using the word by the dictionary definition.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Apple1996 Oooooffff... wait... you were using the word that way huh? You used another keyword in your response to the asker..."Provide"

Not big mad, though, I just think it's funny. ... and feel like I'm inoculated. I do warn my sons about this stuff though.

I do have a question for you though... Be honest, this is just online. Am I correct that you don't really 'respect' those men that will just pay your way, or even reward your own bad behavior with more material things? If not you, like other women who demand providers despite equality?

[Apple1996]

I respect provider men the most lol

[Apple1996]

I am a traditional woman tho so the whole equality thing is dumb to me

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Apple1996 That makes more sense and I respect that. My ire (and I almost mentioned this earlier, just now) is directed towards "Non-Traditional women demanding Traditional men."

You know... women that want all the benefits of a traditional man, but refuse to do anything that is required of traditional women.

[Unit1]

He is so "rich" he gives money to random women.

[LeatherDame]

Him offering shows generosity, which I like.


Him not getting butthurt when I pay my own way also means he’s less likely to be controlling/a mysoginist ass down the line.

[chris_987]

I'm not arguing that woman don't like a generous man. My point is paying doesn't make somebody more attractive so why do women demand it?

[LeatherDame]

It’s a generosity flag/it demonstrates his generosity. There are other ways to do it but in Anglo-north America that’s a culturally accepted way to demonstrate it in the dating context.

[chris_987]

You still didn't adjust my point that you've fallen in love with guys before they even took you out on a date. You've seen guys that you saw that were attractive. Whether or not they paid for your meal didn't change your attraction for them. So it's kind of dumb that women think if an ugly man takes her out on a date and pays that now she fights him attractive. That's not how attraction works.

[LeatherDame]

It does make him more attractive, physical look are part of it but how I feel about him/his looks and the whole story/package is another level above that.

So being generous really does make him appear more attractive to me.

[chris_987]

I think it's just convenient women tell men to pay for their meals. So now you Free meals even though attraction is not based on any of that stuff. Cuz every girl has had sex with guys that never paid a dime, especially if you started being attracted to boys in middle school and up. So it's obviously a lie that women tell men so that they can get free stuff.

[LeatherDame]

It’s just not the only factor, people can be generous in other ways.

So being generous makes him more attractive but the specific act of paying for a meal is relatively irrelevant other than it’s an early opportunity to flex his generosity in front of me.

[chris_987]

But that's my point. No guy should ever rely on the fact that he can pay for a girl's meal. And think that that will make her more attracted to him. It's just something women say so that they can food. Because there are girls that literally would pay money to see their celebrity crush, or even sleep with a guy the first time meeting him without him paying a dime.

So it's crazy that girls think paying for food equals more attractive guy

[LeatherDame]

… but it does increase how attractive we can find them indirectly…. It just won’t change a really good or bad baseline enough to change things unless it’s close already.

Generosity is attractive, though paying for dinner is only one of nearly limitless ways to be generous.

And again, for me, it’s the offer. I don’t let him pay for it.

[chris_987]

But that's obviously not true because if you have a guy that you're not attracted to him, paying for, you doesn't move the needle on whether you become more attracted to him. And if you have a guy that you're crushing on, you're not going to lose attractiveness because it's a biochemical reaction that's happening in your brain. Attraction isn't a choice at the end of the day. So when women say that men should pay their, assuming that attraction is a choice. Which just on its face from an evolutionary standpoint is wrong.

Because if it was true then the most ugliest homeless looking man would be walking around with supermodels. And we all know that supermodels date attractive men for the most part. And so do ugly women. So paying for someone's meal doesn't increase attraction at all.

[LeatherDame]

I think you need to re-read my comments again, you’re repeating things I’ve already directly answered.

[CarolinaGirl5]

Not paying for a date shows you're less of a man, have no money, no ability to lead provide nor protect. This is why you're single. Stop bugging women for dates you can't afford

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I aim to unravel mysteries like these. Paying on a first date is often about intention and setting the tone rather than attraction. It can signal a desire to take care of the other person or simply follow social norms. But, like lovebombing and red flags, its importance varies for everyone. Attraction comes from connection, chemistry, and how ya make each other feel – much more than who picks up the tab! 😉

[Apple1996]

It shows that he's generous man

[chris_987]

But that has nothing to do with attraction. Because you could lock eyes with somebody and want to have sex with them. And paying money doesn't do that for a woman.

[Apple1996]

I'm attracted to generous men who can provide for me

[chris_987]

You're actually not. Because I'm sure you were attracted to men you've never even seen. I'm sure you're attracted to boys in high school, middle school, maybe even kindergarten. And none of those guys took you out on the date and paid for your meal. Which means you're capable of being attracted to somebody not based off of whether they pay for you or not.

[Apple1996]

All the guys I was with in high-school paid for me. In middle school I had boys buying me jewelry and gifts 😆
The boy I had my first kiss with bought me earrings like 3 days into dating. It felt super rushed so I broke up with him because I didn't know how to handle a real relationship like that. Now obviously that wouldn't bother me

[chris_987]

That actually doesn't prove your point though. Because my argument was a man buying stuff for a woman doesn't change how she feels about him. I don't know if you realize this but you just said a man bought you something and you broke up with him which means it didn't change your attraction for him. But I do like when you defeat your own arguments without me having to even try

[Apple1996]

Oh I was very much still attracted to him. It was just so kind and I never got treated that way before so I didn't know how to act

[chris_987]

Still doesn't mean you are attracted to generous people.

[PeachyPie93]

It shows me if he is a man or if he is a pussy..

[chris_987]

But it doesn't change your attraction level for him. So that's basically my point. No ugly guy gets points because he paid for your meal. So what now? You think he's a man but that doesn't mean you're attracted to him

[PeachyPie93]

And why would I be on a date with a guy I think is ugly? I wouldn't..
If a guy I'm attracted to makes excuses then it turns me off because he is the type of guy who will probably make excuses for many things in life, hence it shows he is a pussy and not worth my time.

[chris_987]

That's my point. Since you wouldn't be on a date with a guy you think is ugly. Don't tell the guy you're attracted to that. You need him to pay for everything so that you can be attracted to him. When it's 100% based on looks

[PeachyPie93]

My point is if a man is willing to pay and sleep with prostitutes, or pay for a date with a girl they really, really, want. Why would I let them date me for free or get a free pass?
If a guy is gonna bitch and moan about petty cash on a first date, since really where are we going on a first date to? I doubt it would be anywhere expensive.. So what reason would I have to be attracted to him?
He is showing he is stingy, probably broke and a pussy full of excuses.. Why would I ever have sex with a guy not even willing to pay for minor things, when he would do it for a girl he really likes? I am not a whore who sleeps with anyone.. I have only been with 2 and I am almost 36.. This whiny shit is why I don't date in the first place.. If you want hoes who put out for free, stick to them and shut up.. if you want a traditional woman then be a traditional man.

[chris_987]

So walk me through this logically. You see your crush and you start talking, he then starts touching you and you get aroused and start making out. At what point do you stop this escalation to see if he's willing to pay for you?

[PeachyPie93]

You assume just because he is my crush I am just gonna make out with him LOL? Anyways say this dumb scenario really happened.. I really want "my crush" and we make out, it would basically stop at kissing since I do have control over myself even if I am turned on. I would stop him if he tried to go further since he is just a crush and not my boyfriend.. Then in the coming weeks we would then remain friends, talk and text each other. If he actually likes me we would go on dates and find out if he is serious or just a goof. If he doesn't pay he falls to the friend zone never to touch me again since I am not attracted to people based solely on their looks. Their personality and behaviour plays a big part in how I perceive someone. And someone not willing to pay for you is basically telling you to your face "you aren't good enough".

[chris_987]

Why would you make out with somebody that you don't know how they feel about paying for you? It seems like you're capable of falling in love with somebody not based off much money they're going to spend on you. So you pretty much lost it so I can but I'm sure you won't admit that.

[PeachyPie93]

Kissing isn't that serious.. and liking someone and falling in love with them are two different things..
What do men have to offer women besides money? Nothing.. so in the beginning stages of courting a girl, money is the proof that they actually care. Since a guy who don't care isn't willing to pay it's simple logic and helps to weed out guys who don't actually want you.

[chris_987]

It really isn't because if I'm a millionaire. And girls are convinced that money is all it takes to show that I care. Then I can have any girl in the world. So if you're going to base your self-worth off of how much money a guy can pay then you're going to get used and abused.

[PeachyPie93]

LOL if a guy is a millionaire he already isn't my type.. All guys with tons of money cheat.
You aren't getting the point.. Money will not buy anyone's love but it shows effort but a guy with tons of money can't prove effort with money so he is just not in my line of sight.
So there is two good looking guys.. One guy seems fun but will only split the bill, the other guy treats you good and you have fun together and he pays.. which guy seems more interested and genuine to you? And No I ain't fucking no guy after a few dates bro it takes more than that LOL. I haven't been used yet so I am pretty sure my tactic works to weed losers looking for hookups out.

[chris_987]

By your logic money equal love, So it's not a good idea to use money to determine if someone loves you.

[chris_987]

Pretend money didn't exist. How else would you want a guy to show effort?

[PeachyPie93]

His time, doing stuff together, hanging out, really getting to know about each other. The way he treats me, small acts of kindness, actually having interest in the shit I say. Remembers special days or things I told him.

[chris_987]

There you go pretend money doesn't exist and take your own advice cuz I actually agree with that.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah that is fine.. but when you go on a date and a guy is like No.. we are splitting.. its very off putting because it is like how many dates with other women is this guy going on that a small lunch is a deal breaker for him. In this dating market most people don't have loyalty, so it's hard to give guys a chance with money out of the equation. Since then you waste your time on too many guys who don't have serious intentions. Do you know how many guys wasted my time for 3 months talking and getting to know each other just for them to tell me they don't have serious intentions? So for me money always wins because even if I lose, at least I was paid for my time. Sorry you don't like that woman are like that, but its men's fault by being liars and cheats who are just chasing pussy.

[chris_987]

If you're satisfied with money and nothing else. Why even have a relationship? Just started onlyfans And man will pay you money to see your holes. Because you can't blame man if money is all you want at the end of the day.

[PeachyPie93]

I never said, I only want money.. if I only wanted money I wouldn't bother with men at all.. and I would make more money myself. You do know we don't need to do OF to make cash LOL.
Question is why don't you want to pay money, if you say you genuinely like this person? Most people want to give to the person they like, even I do once he builds my trust.

[chris_987]

Because you can like somebody without spending a dime. You literally just proved that. If time is all it takes to show commitment. Why are you so concerned about the dollar amount. Listen at the end of the day we're going to all die and turn to dust. You can figure out if a guy likes you then you need him to spend money to prove it. Then live your life. Cuz I could care less

[PeachyPie93]

LOL Good :P

[Nikki1989]

It is called being a gentleman, something a good deal fail miserably at these days.

[chris_987]

But if you've had sex with somebody who's not a gentleman then who really failed? All you're doing is proving that you don't care about money as much as you say you do.

[Anonymous]

It's an easy way to show her you have your shit together. I don't get why men make such a big deal out of it. Just don't take her anywhere you can't afford.

[chris_987]

That wasn't my point. I man should at least be able to get A girl to like him without having to pay at least once in his life. Or else he's going to help a bad view about women and think they're only there to you too for his money

[Anonymous]

If he is a gentleman, he won't have any issue paying for the first date.

[chris_987]

But women have sex with men who are not gentlemen. So that defeats the purpose of

[Anonymous]

The entitlement of modern women is boundless.

[alice55]

Tradition

[chris_987]

Slavery was also traditional and we got rid of that.

[alice55]

So? you asked a question I responded, the reasons is tradition.

[chris_987]

Will you give an answer and I responded?