Who pays for the first date, the man or the woman?

[Anonymous]

[herguy]

I would always pay, personally. But that's not what I believe 'should' be done. I believe in equality both ways. But I am a hypocrite when it comes to chivalry - I would always want to do the old-fashioned gentlemanly thing.

My girl has always said - which makes perfect sense - that it should be paid by whoever asks the other on a date, because you can't invite someone to something then expect them to pay for it. Makes sense! But I'd still want to pay either way lol.

[Tyme1313]

You realize that chivalry is a code of conduct for medieval combat between knights, right? The concept got extremely twisted in the 20’s. Chivalry has actually never applied to women at all.

Also, I always split the bill. I can certainly ask someone to hang out with me or go on a date and expect them to pay their part. If they have a problem with it, I just dropped a gold digger. 🤗

[BeMuse]

@Tyme1313 You’re mentally retarded. Anything that is movable is “personal property” by legal definition. Go hang yourself moron.

[Tyme1313]

@BeMuse

Okay, not sure where you came from. However, I have 3 degrees, in a law student working on a Juris Doctorate, and have an IQ of 162. So I’m a genius by every measurable concept.

No, this is the legal definition of personal property.

“ Personal property can be divided into two major categories: (1) corporeal personal property, including such items as animals, merchandise, and jewelry; and (2) incorporeal personal property, comprised of such rights as stocks, bonds, Patents, and copyrights.”

You are clearly a mentally inferior thing, please end your life as not to waste our precious oxygen.

[Logorithim]

I have always paid for the first date, but would be fine if she wanted to split or pay for herself- I just prefer that she tells me in advance.

It really doesn't matter who pays though- should be what they're both comfortable with.

[owntheworld]

If women wants to lay the foundation for a good relationship she should pay 50%. She should treat it as an investment. Guys need to be treated with respect and their budgets should not go haywire as they have to pay most of the time. Give them a chance to be equals in terms of what they have to pay.

[konfused-kreature]

I think that going Dutch on a first date is a good idea. That way, nobody feels like they may be overpaying for somebody else.

[Asker]

Dutch?

[konfused-kreature]

Oh, it's slang for saying you each pay for what you got.

[Asker]

Oh I see
Slang lol where r u from
So I understand where your slang comes from

[konfused-kreature]

I'm from North Carolina, but i know the slang from my family in Europe.

[Asker]

I’m from down under

[konfused-kreature]

Australia? That's awesome

[Asker]

Yep do u know slang from here

[konfused-kreature]

Only a few terms, it's been forever since I've looked into slang from there

[Asker]

Dunny
Tuckerbox
Fiddy dollars

[Asker]

Making a blue
Means u fucked up

[konfused-kreature]

Isn't dunny a toilet
And a tuckerbox for food storage. And I'm assuming fiddly dollars is just fifty dollars

[Asker]

Yep wanna learn more
This is fun

[Asker]

#Crack a fat
#Dag
#Dill
#Flat out like a lizard drinking
#franger
#spunk
#whacka
#sheepshagger

[Asker]

Sheepshagger is my fav

[splashofyellow]

Everyone pays for their own shit. Both should invest in the date.

[witherwing]

ALWAYS split the bill, or better yet, do something free.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I always offer to pay but on all my first dates the guy would end up paying. Like my boyfriend said he just feels good paying for a first date. Now that we together we split the bill mostly.

[Asker]

I am the same actually

[Apope16]

EVERYTHING SHOULD BE SPLIT. Each pay for themselves!

[TwinCKI]

Whoever ask the other person out on the date should be the one to pay for the bill. However, at least for me personally, I always like to pay for the first date. To me, paying for the first date is showing that I am willing to invest time and money into them if a relationship were to come out of the date.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I prefer to pay for our own share of the bill. That way neither of us will feel obligated to see each other again if the date doesn't go too well. If one person pays , and they don't see each other again , the one paying will probably feel used and taken advantage of.

Some people date multiple people. A guy I know, dates a different girl every night lol One person couldn't possible pay for two people on each and every first date lol

[nojokecarmichael]

I feel like the guy should pay for the first date. I also used to think they should pay for others too, but maybe for the others, who ever does the inviting pays. Another idea would be for example the movies, one pays for the tickets the other buys snacks.

[letmeknow101]

I know this might sound bad to some but if its the first date and the guy asked you out they should pay. if it turns into a second date I would consider paying. And if it turns into a relationship pay for dates every other time or whenever you can and they can't. That's how I do it.

[passinby]

Okay why tf is this so important? I really don't get it. At any other time I buy a woman a drink, or lunch, or hold the door, or etc. I am a sexist creep. But this one time introductory offer, this time only, I am allowed to pay and also expected to pay and I am granted a waiver this one time of not being a sexist creep. I really don't understand this stupidity that I continuously hear about. How about you explain it and help me understand.

[PlacentaSalad]

I won't continue dating a girl if she doesn't pay for at least one of the three very first dates. She isn't that special that I'm going to miss her company if she proves to be a cheapskate that follows what is now considered archaic beliefs where men are obligated to doing this and that while she is free to do whatever she wants.

[JackD1984]

The rule I usually go by is "the person who made the invite pays". That goes for all social gatherings not just dates.

[SirRexington]

Both. Its the first date, a trial period. If the guy pays for it all then the girl can just get free food and bail afterwards. Which happens... All the time.

But if both have to put money into it, then it's an investment both have agreed to. This incentivises both to feel equal and not obligated to see one another again if it doesn't work out. Only if one of the two individuals goes out of their way to suggest paying the entire bill should it be expected.

[Tech5]

Why not split it? Makes it more comfortable for everyone, and noone has to feel like they owe the other person anything

[genericname85]

each for their own. we live in an equal society and if you don't wanna establish inequality from the get go, you better pay for yourself... i mean unless you're looking for that guy who sends you to the kitchen to make him a sandwich, in that case let him pay.

[babylips14]

Guys want equality only when it's convenient for them such as paying for a date. Other times such as when it comes to equal pay, applying fair standards to women, treating women with respect, etc. they don't want it. Cheap fucks.

[genericname85]

@babylips14 we're applying fair standards, equal tratment and equal pay since decades and you unthankfull fucks still insit on having the inequalities that were in your favor to begin with :P that's another way of seeing it ;)

[genericname85]

but of course "equality" means more rights for women and has nothing to do with men. how dare i bring men up. who needs those anyway right? ^^

[babylips14]

I'm just being honest. That's the way it is. Most guys pushing for this "equality" on dates only do so in order to not foot the bill and have more $$$ in their pockets. Not because they actually care about women not being oppressed or seen as inferior.

[genericname85]

@babylips14 do you really think men are that cheap? Well there are girls out there thatt will agree to a date just to get free food, not having any intentions of dating the guy so maybe you will understand why guys hesitate to pay. Not cause their cheap but cause they have a sense of self worth.

[genericname85]

I understand that in agirls Mind, men end women can't always be equal. They will always find something that makes us unequal and then go forth and blame it on men.

[babylips14]

Why is it wrong for a woman to expect a guy to pay for a date, but not for a man to expect a woman to have sex with him? You men think you’re entitled to women aren’t you? My definition of “equality” means contributing in ways that both are happy with. If you don’t want to pay for dates, fine. There are plenty of feminazis out there. I have a problem when guys tell me that I shouldn’t want a man to pay for a date or when they preach this “equality” bs when it comes to dating etiquette only to degrade women around their friends and visualize them as inferior.

[babylips14]

It’s ironic that you call women who want to be traditional and old-fashioned “prostitutes”, yet feminists are always advocating for freedom to choose and criticizing slut shamers. Most prostitutes, hoes, and porn stars happen to be feminists who think that they can do “whatever they want” with their bodies lol.

[babylips14]

Sorry, that last comment wasn’t for you lol. It was for some other dude.

[genericname85]

@babylips14 "you men think you're entiteled to women" all i can say is that i don't. i can't speak for all men. lets just break "equality" down, cause it's really not complicated in this case:

both he and her take valuable time out of their day to meet up with each other in order to get to know each other better and decided to have a meal along with it, which is fairly common. both are doing the same thing here, no inequality detected.

now why on earth do you argue that the man should pay for both if both did the exact same things? this establishes inequality, cause the man assumes that she somehow does not have enough money to comfortably afford this meal, thus he has to help her financially, cause she can't? isn't that misogynistic? or do you just assume that her time is by default more worth than his time, therefore he has to compensate for that by paying her meal?

explain to me why he has to pay. i don't get it.

[genericname85]

i understand that him paying for you can just be seen as a nice gesture of apreciation, like you'd pay for a good friends dinnner and that's totally fine but being entiteled to getting that meal for free is as bad as a man being "entiteled to women" in my opinion.

[babylips14]

Because that’s how it was since the beginning of time until the feminist movement started influencing people to change. Men being the providers is really a default. That being said, people have different needs and different expectations. There is no right or wrong way to live life. If you don’t want to pay, fine. Find yourself a Ms. Independent girl. But don’t shove your ideology down my throat and don’t bitch about women who want to be taken care of and men who want to take care of them. It’s called being traditional buddy.

[babylips14]

And wanting someone to fulfill your lifestyle or relationship needs is not entitlement given that you’re already giving the provider something in return that doesn’t necessarily have to be money. Entitlement is thinking that you should get everything for free, effortlessly. I think that a guy who expects a woman to pay for her own date and expects relationship benefits from her is the definition of entitled.

[babylips14]

On top of that, women spend significantly more money on getting ready for a date. Make-up, hairstyling, nails, nice clothes, jewelry, etc. all those things cost $$&

[genericname85]

@babylips14 women spend significantly more money to prepare for a date because THEY SO CHOOSE TO that's nothing a man has to compensate for. i didn't talk about any relationship "benefits" the man is entiteled to i wonder what you're implying there. also "Because that’s how it was since the beginning of time until the feminist movement started influencing people to change. Men being the providers is really a default" yes that's how it was but that changed. are you saying you want patriarchy back or what? xD i don't get what you're saying? seems like you don't want emancipation xD

[genericname85]

if i chose to grow myself a magnificent beard and invest into beard oils and a barber, i can have significantly higher cost to prepare for a date but why would i ask my date to pay for that? XD that's my choice so i pay.

[babylips14]

Nothing has “changed”. People want it to change which is why we’re having this argument in the first place. It hasn’t changed because most men still take care of women or at least pay for the dates if they can’t afford to take care of a woman 100%. What prevents some men from taking care of a woman completely is their financial status. Not because they’ve been influenced by this feminism bullshit.

[babylips14]

Yeah, that whole oil in the beard stuff is unrealistic and too extreme so you don’t really have an argument there. We’re talking about day to day life and how much the average woman spends on getting ready for a date. I’m just saying that for the most part, women spend significantly more $$$ on impressing you guys whether you ask for it or not and just because you didn’t ask for it doesn’t mean that you should overlook the efforts she made to impress you. You should be appreciative and show some respect and take care of her. Just like EVERY man did in the 1950’s.

We can argue back and forth all day long, but I still stand by my traditional ideals and think that the feminist movement is something that cheap, lazy, and maybe even mysogonyst guys take advantage of in order to not take care of a woman. Those are my $0.02.

[studDMuffF1n]

Dude it's always going to be the guy, because your always going to be the one to ask her out. And it's been the norm since your great great grand parents. First dates shouldn't break the wallet so who cares. Your always going to pay more in life vs the women. There's sugar daddies but no sugar mommies.

[Paul09]

I would say, whoever invited who, can pay. But I really think, both should pay. It's a first date after all, heck maybe go on a date you don't need to pay for anything lol. You don't know if you like each other, if there's a connection. It's sad when let's say the guy keeps going on first dates and always pays. You both work, equal rights! One isn't a princess, and the other isn't a prince. In the end all up to you and the other person.

[Arcano]

Yes, whoever invited who, that’s what I always answer. Always expect to pay if you invite someone. That’s what I do even now that my boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year. There are some cases where we both know we’ll be only covering ourselves, doesn’t even need to be discussed, and then other times where I may be like, “hey let’s do a movie,” and I always make sure I can afford us both.

[Paul09]

@Arcano In the end its about you 2, not money. Not sure why people freak out a day think the men should always pay. Need more women that think like you.

[monkeynutts]

I can I'm not fussed, split the bill. Some girls have taken me out and got me sloppy drunk, refused to take my money because they don't want to feel emotionally or financially chained to my side, so if I owe the girl money, I can't expect anything in return because I'm the one who has to put out. Interesting role, and psychological mind state. I'm OK with what ever makes a woman comfortable.

[MysteriousDarkness]

I say each person pays for themself.
Why should the guy pay for both?
My girlfriend was the one who offered to pay for herself so I didn't think she was trying to take advantage of me. That showed me she was willing to pay for things instead of expecting someone to pay for her.

[Arcano]

Whoever asks the person to go with them should go with the intention and expectation to pay. Man or woman. That’s how it is with me. Even now with my boyfriend, if I say “let’s go to a movie,” I make sure I can cover us both.

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

One person pretends to pull the car around, the other pretends to take a "very urgent" and loud phone call and leaves the restaurant as a courtesy to other diners, and let the house cover your meal. 🎉🎉🎉✔️✔️✔️💯💯👍👍👍👍👍

[Miristheiss]

Whoever asked the other person out. It is rude to ask someone else out on a date but then expect them to pay for you when you did the inviting.

Since men usually do the asking out, women just wait to be "courted" men do most of the paying.

[Anonymous]

If the date is not going well, I'll insist on paying for the meal so I don't feel obligated to the guy at all. Then, I won't probably ever want to date him again.