I ( 30yo f) in love with a ( 20yo) male what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I'm 30, and I ve been married for the past 8 years. I have always encountered problems in my marriage. Either with my husband's mentality ( controlling, domineering, disrespectful) or with my in-laws ( narcissistic, nosey, disrespectful), I don't feel happy. And I hate them for what they did to me. I hate my marriage and our situation. I don't hate my husband though, but I lost feelings for him; I don't love him anymore. Besides, we rarely have sex and when we do, I don't feel excited, and I keep imagining the guy I'm in love with, though he and I never got intimate.
I love him, and I crave him and he does too. I want him so bad but I'm afraid of judgment.
What should I do?

[Finchie40]

First have a sit down talk with your husband and express your feelings of concern and be honest with him about how you are feeling about your marriage with him , do not blame your husband for your feelings , understand you already cheated on your marriage by accepting another guy into your life behind your husbands’ back , so understand that other guy isn’t going to solve your problems. Understand those problems arised because of your selfish behavior. How would you feel if your husband was investing his time into another girl behind your back? leaving you blind sided? Most unhappiness arises from selfish behavior meaning yourself. If you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , don’t expect them to remove it for you. No relationship is perfect we are all imperfect people. Understand you chose your husbands hand in marriage just like he chose yours. So it’s your responsibility to try to fix what is broken between you and your husband , have a sit down talk with him and express your feelings of concern and be honest with him. My advice to you is don’t use the word You when you talk to him , use the word I , I am unhappy in this marriage , I am miserable , I do not feel close to you anymore , And I don’t know what else to do. I know I am wrong but I have been talking to another guy behind your back that makes me feel wanted and desired I am just being honest with you and I do not know what else to do. I am unhappy in this marriage and I do not know what else to do. Give your husband time to take all this in and give him time to process what you said. If he loves you and cares about you he will try to fix what is broken between you both and he will do what it takes to keep you by his side , suggest marriage counseling , don’t just assume your husband is the problem because clearly you are the problem by being selfish and not taking your partners’ feelings into accountability. The second you got married is the second you are no longer single so by you accepting that 20 year old into your life already makes you a cheater. Whether you had sex with him or not. You are investing your time into him over investing your time into your husband and marriage. If you feel your marriage can not be saved and you tried every option to try to make it work , the n you are best to tell your husband you want a divorce if he isn’t willing to fix what is broken between you , but do not run to this 20 year old guy thinking he is going to save you , you are investing for a rude awakening if you think he will. A 20 year old guy is more than likely thinking with his dick over his heart , so yes he will gladly fuck your brains out but don’t think he is going to save you , it will just be a matter of time before he realizes what you did to your husband and think you will do the same to him , and he will more than likely cheat on you once he gets’ bored of you. And you will be left with no one. Mark my words. I was 20 once and I thought with my dick more than anything else at that age. So count your blessings when you realize you were being selfish. The only time you should walk away from a marriage or a relationship if of your partner is physically beating you or mentally abusing you or cheating on you , other than that you are best to fix what is broken between you both before you regret your selfish decision and behavior

[Asker]

I didn't mention everything, bare in mind that he had already cheated several times, he was dismissive and neglected me after I had our first child. His family was toxic and never treated me with respect. I hate our situation, be it financial, marital, or relational.
I didn't mention a lot of details as I would spend a whole day writing about what they did to me those evil f...

[Finchie40]

If you husband cheated on you , then you should of ended the marriage right then and there. So you are best to just file for divorce and go your separate ways

[Oldschool1981]

While my wife and I are happily married, she too likes younger guys. Her current boy toy is 16 years younger. I say go for it. There's nothing wrong if a girl wants a little fun outside her marriage

[SueShe]

The only reasonable thing to do in your case would be to file for divorce. You don't mention whether you have children or not and if you don't then a divorce would make things slightly easier on you since you would not have the issue of who will be in charge of the child/children.

If you don't get along with your husband and the in-laws, then your life is not worth living the way it is now. However, I find it a pity that you place sex/fornication so high up on your list of priorities and that this activity is most often the reason why people don't get along. These few minutes here and there seem to take precedence over other, more important things in life.

Also, if you want to fornicate with another person, your husband may see it as you being unfaithful and file for divorce himself and then, you will be in a much worse situation because you cannot control your libido.

[Anonymous]

Lying about age is pathetic. And if you are a good woman you will just file the divorce and leave your husband before you see someone else.
Only a hoe who falls in love with another man while she is married.
This is why people don’t believe in marriage anymore, because of people like you.

[Asker]

Where did I lie about age? If you mean in the profile, I didn't even pay attention to that as didn't create the account to live in it. I just wanted to make this post the soonest possible.
And mind your language , talking this way doesn't make you any superior. You're just proving that you re impolite and vulgar

[AI Opinion]

My aim here is to help you navigate the tricky world of love and relationships, one confounding love equation at a time. Falling in love with someone else can happen, but it’s crucial to reflect on your current situation. Your feelings indicate deeper marital issues that require attention. It might be helpful to seek professional advice or counseling to address your marriage's challenges. Don't let fear of judgment guide your actions—it’s your happiness and fulfillment that truly matter. Whatever you choose, do it with love and self-respect. 😊 Remember, communication is the key to unlock those emotional shackles.

[Awantika03]

The solution is only one, take divorce and get married with guy

[Anonymous]

If you're 30, why does your profile say you're 18 - 24?

[Asker]

Why do you pay attention to such trivial detail? I have just created the account and didn't give much importance to the personal details and straightforwardly confirmed the ones provided by the apk

[Opinion Owner]

Because, if you don't pay attention to the details, you might miss important stuff. Is there a crime in that?

[Graptemys79]

Try couples therapy.

[Asker]

I tried to convince my husband to do it, but he refused

[Iron_Man]

What happened to you? Don’t even go there

[Asker]

Why?

[Iron_Man]

Your married