Are you honest with your partner about your body count or do you fib it?

[Finchie40]

I know there are people that cannot handle honesty and will not accept your honesty, and will hold it against you , if they feel it’s too extreme for them to handle , pretty much why people tend to lie about their past in most cases , it’s honestly stupid to do Why lying destroys relationships all the time. I choose to be honest because I don’t like blindsiding anyone , if someone cannot handle my past , then they aren’t the person for me period. I don’t care how hot a girl looks to me or how attracted I am to her , lying to her might get me in bed with her and laid , but it won’t turn to anything more than that , unless I want to continue lying to her and have a fake relationship with her , which again is not love , that’s just a convenience. especially if I have to lie to her about my past just to appease her , so that’s something i choose not to do to someone cuz it gets you nowhere especially if the truth eventually shines. That’s things I experienced when I was young and dumb and only thinking about myself , when I was just thinking with my dick over anything else. So the problem a lot of people have in relationships , is not being honest and not taking accountability for their own selfish actions and behaviors, and not accepting the fact that they were wrong , it’s always someone else’s’ fault but never their own. When you learn to take accountability for own selfish behavior and mistakes and choose to learn from those mistakes that’s where respect and trust comes into place. Without trust and respect for each other , you have nothing , you can basically have a relationship all by yourself , because you cannot take accountability for your own selfish behavior. So are you completely honest to your partner about your body count or do you fib it?

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

I never had to lie to any of my partners about my "body count." We don't live in the 1800s where everybody was expected to be a virgin and only have sex before marriage. Nowadays, most people have definitely had sex with more than one person before marriage, which is perfectly fine as long as both parties consent and use protection. Chances are great that most of my male partners have had high "body counts" themselves, which I find a great thing. Guys with more experience in bed offer me a better time in bed with them. At 33, about to be 34 in a few more months, I consider myself too old to be teaching a guy how to hit it right at this point. This is something that would have been cute at like 17, but that was half a lifetime ago for me. We are all grown, mature adults now. I lost my virginity at around 16 or 17 and ever since, I have been sexually active with a lot of men. Despite that, I never had an STD and I have no children (at the moment). My "body count" makes me experienced, which many of my partners have appreciated.

[Crimsyjo]

It's easy for you to say abiut being honest because for the most part women will accept what you say about "being young and thinking with your dick". It's even expected of men. Men get praised and encouraged to get a high body count esp when in their teens or twenties.

The attitude towards women is different. I have always been honest and I love my sexual history and want to be honest but I'm afraid my year on here has taught me the vast majority of men cannot handle it. Yes, ones that only wanna fuck can and don't care, but if I want love then I'm going to have to be mindful what I reveal. I'm not sure yet if I will have to be. I haven't had opportunity yet with someone serious and not casual. I won't outright lie. But I'd rather say I'm not comfortable disclosing such things at the start. And maybe in time will open up when a guy knows, trusts abd loves me enough to see the type of person i am and take time to understand the choices I made in my life rather than jump to conclusions based solely on a number.

If I had a "bad time" one year and went off the rails and slept with 30 men... or I had slept with 30 men whilst single over a span of 30 years.. does that make a difference? Or is 30 still 30 and "bad" in a man's eyes judging a woman?

[Finchie40]

Having a high body count just makes other people assume you have STD’s and that you are dirty , and that you have no dignity or respect for yourself , that you just allow yourself to be used for sex. I have a high body count as well , but mainly because the relationships didn’t work out , which I didn’t have any control over. I dated some girls’ that couldn’t handle my past and thought it was disgusting that I received blow jobs and sex from girls’ before them , but I was supposed to accept her having other dicks in her? Made no sense to me whatsoever, so I would just laugh and tell her she is fucking crazy and good luck trying to find a guy that hasn’t had sex or blow jobs before you When I meet a girl and we hit it off , her past means shit to me as long as she is honest with me , I am not expecting her to give me every little detail but be honest if I ask her a question, just like I am honest when she asks me a question , if she wants to hold my past against me? That’s her choice and decision to do so , even though I think it’s stupid to do, considering she wasn’t even a part of my life when I was with those other girls’ . Just like I wasn’t a part of her life when she was with those other guys’ , so it cracks me up when people get bent out of shape about someone’s past when they weren’t even a part of it. I been with girls that I was having sex with on a regular basis basis ,, that finally asked me a question about my past and i answered it honestly and then she decides she no longer wants to be with me because of it , Well it’s a little to late for that Girl I already fucked you a bunch of times , so now that’s your excuse to leave me? Makes no sense , Some people just have no common sense

[Crimsyjo]

Yeah I get that. But there's less men open minded like you (or logical about it should I say). For me, I've been looking a long time now for a good guy. It's not so easy to say tough he's wrong one then if he walks knowing too much about my past. If omitting that one small fact is only think between keeping a good relationship and not. I wasn't like this before. It kinda sucks that society is making me feel I have to be deceptive when that's not natural for me. I doubt I would be able to keep quiet. But I'm gonna try. If I was with a guy a couple years then he walks over this that would be quite something! But I can't see a lot of guys accepting my cougar ways... on top of count lol. Which I don't even think is that bad tbh.

[Goahead76]

@Crimsyjo "my cougar ways" 😆😅 You know though, I do think there is a curve on this, where it becomes less important with age.

[Crimsyjo]

@Goahead76 haha. Hopefully your right. But I find guys are insecure no matter what. Many are insecure about a woman having experience (body count) because they think we are comparing against a vast catalogue of sizes and sex. Add in that if they knew I also had 18 year to 25 year olds with hot perfect toned bodies? The Insecurity would go through the roof!
And I get it... I don't wanna know if my guy used to get 18 year old girls. I'd get insecure. That's why it's better not to ask not to know. All that is important is how you feel towards eachother and if you both enjoy the sex and relationship.
My last brief boyfriend (2024) was 37 and I still started loving the lines on his face and looking at him. Just cos I've slept with younger doesn't mean I'm incapable of loving only one guy or an older guy.

[Joshydavid25]

"It's easy for you to say abiut being honest because for the most part women will accept what you say about "being young and thinking with your dick". It's even expected of men. Men get praised and encouraged to get a high body count esp when in their teens or twenties."

Nah, a lot of women don't like high body counts, they just like the fact that you are desirable enough to get with them. Also, the standard should be different if the circumstances are different.. It's not work for you as a woman to get sex and in fact the opposite..

[Miristheiss]

Yeah, men and women are different.
Men don't want to marry and have kids with promiscuous women who think sex outside of marriage or a long term relationship is fine and who like to sleep around.
Tough.
Men know women care about his job and how much he makes and how tall he is. Men and women have different standards.
Women don't care about sexual past. Most men do.
Feminism, sexual freedom propaganda lied to you.

[Crimsyjo]

@Miristheiss yawwwn...

[Miristheiss]

When I vetted my now wife, I did not tell her I wouldn't ever marry a woman who gave husband privileges to a non-husband.

I just casually asked after we'd dated a bit how old was she when she first had sex. If she had answered with any age I wouldn't have wifed her.

[AviatorTom]

My wife has never asked me about my body count, but if she did, I'd be totally honest, just like I am here on GaG when the body count question gets asked every other week.

[RageBabe]

I also noticed that people usually ask about it every other week.

[AI Opinion]

As your cheeky relationship guru, honesty is indeed the golden ticket to a healthy relationship. Why play games with your boo's heart when the truth can set both of you free? 😎 Relationships flourish on trust, so lay it all out there and see if they vibe with the real you. Remember, if someone can't handle your past, they're probably not ready for your fabulous future! Being honest also means no unexpected ghosts from the past returning to haunt you. Keep things 100, and ghosting becomes a thing of the past. Trust, baby, is the true lovebomb! 💖

[MzAsh]

My husband has never asked. He knows it’s not relevant.

[Miristheiss]

That's fine.
"it's not relevant"? Well, maybe with him. That is up to the potential partner though. Just because you don't think it should be relevant doesn't mean it isn't. Each potential partner decides if it is relevant. "Shouldn't" isn't a thing.

[MzAsh]

If someone’s hung up on body count rather than focusing on the quality of the current relationship, I’d seriously question their priorities and maturity. Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect for each other’s past and present, not on scorecards.

[Miristheiss]

YOU would. That is your freedom.
I am not surprised. Women don't like consequences or accountability.
You are obviously a stout feminist. You grew up being told to get on the pill at 16-17 and that you are free and liberated to sleep around all you want 2 partners, 100 partners, threesomes, do whatever you want girl and when you are ready to settle down all the 9-10 men should just line up to legally contract all their finances and assets to you and to have kids with you.
How dare there be any judgement or accountability for anything you've done, no matter how vile and disgusting it is. All women's pasts should just "poof" go away and no man dare use that as criteria when picking a long term mate.
How dare anyone want to marry a chaste, virtuous, selective woman. Only women get to have standards when dating and marrying. Men, how dare you have standards. How dare any many be grossed out by your whorish/slutty past and degeneracy.
Her past SHOULDN'T matter. According to you. Tough shit. Just like a guy doesn't get to decide what YOUR standards are... you don't get to decide his standards either.
"SHOULDN'T" matter.
Ha-ha-ha.
You being butt hurt over the topic just shows you have a slutty past yourself and think "how dare any man" have passed on me because my past grossed them out. LOL, you don't get to pick other peoples' standards.
The feminist propaganda and sexual revolution stuff sure has duped you. That loose lifestyles do not have consequences. Maybe you are the exception to the rule but if you've had a sleazy past the chances of you two growing old together is pretty low.
I cannot tell you or your husband that a slutty past should matter to you. I won't do that. I do laugh at your gall trying to act as if it is out of pocket that any man reject a promiscuous woman for wife contention. LOL.

[MzAsh]

Men can absolutely have standards, everyone can. But having standards doesn’t guarantee compliance, especially from smart women who see through the nonsense. You talk about chastity and virtue like they’re tickets to the ultimate relationship. Most men hardly meet their own lofty criteria… they’re hardly the paragons of virtue they demand women to be. You think women are lining up to live up to standards men themselves dodge? Think again. We women choose who we want, from a place of abundance, not desperation.

Now, about longevity in relationships, since you brought it up, my husband and I are cruising past 17 years. Looks like we’re doing just fine growing old together, contrary to your betting odds. So, while you’re busy worrying about who meets your “standards,” smart women are busy building meaningful, fulfilling relationships with partners who respect them, past and all.

[Apple1996]

My partner has never asked anything about my past

[OlderAndWiser]

She has never asked me my body count, and I have never asked about her body count.

[PeachyPie93]

I always ask and am honest about mine. I much rather know the type of person I am getting involved with in the beginning and not later on when we already have a relationship. It usually disappoints me when they tell me how much of a slut they been in their life especially because I didn't live my life like that. It's sad that more people don't have standards and that they will sleep with pretty much anyone when sex is something so intimate but everyone seems to act like its just like shaking hands or something.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Totally agree

[Finchie40]

Yea sex is something that most people enjoy and want , but the only tricky thing is not knowing what the other person’s true intentions are. I can’t speak for everyone but me personally only has sex with a girl to be closer to her because I like her and find her beautiful to my eyes , My intentions is to have her coming back for more and more , but sadly it doesn’t always go that way , especially if she just wants to get laid and nothing more or she is lying about being single when really she is already in a relationship with someone else. So the bottomline is we can’t read each others’ minds , we can only give what we hope to receive in return. If she keeps coming back for more and more then I assume she wants more than just sex with me , and I will continue treating her the way I did when I first met her and slept with her. I can’t tell you how many times I had sex with a girl and she just assumed that’s all I wanted from her , making me think damn she must of dealt with some players that only wanted sex and nothing more. Sadly it’s the chance we take when meeting someone new

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah of course we all enjoy and want sex but if you sleep with people you just met or hardly know how are you supposed to know what kind of person they are or if they are quality for a relationship. I personally don't want to date a guy who got around lots because he could be carrying something and not know it because men get tested a lot less than women and they take stupid risks way more often with sluts. So I personally judge harshly of others so I don't make the stupid choice of sleeping with someone who will be a mistake. I choose to be in love with someone before I let them touch me.

[texascollegegirl]

No I lie all the time just like my boyfriend needs me to. Nothing turns him on more than me cheating and lying. I'd do it anyway because my sexual needs are strong, but we are a perfect fit that way. It's more even than I have to lie to him about, and that's perfect. It's not selfish at all. Girls who need more virile men who are better at sex or have the physical things we need like great bodies and big dicks aren't being selfish at all. We are protecting our boyfriends and husbands and also giving pleasure to the men we are with. It's perfectly fine to lie about body count before a relationship and during it. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. It often makes us more satisfied with the relationship and better able to handle his, um, shortcomings. We couldn't be with him if we didn't lie about body count. It's also because we love him. Not selfish at all.

[HungTexan]

I'm typically honest with my partner about all things sexual, including my past sex partners. She knows I fucked a lot of women in the past, and some since we've been married (with her consent and usually her participation. She's not threatened by it and is actually turned on by the fact that I've fucked a lot of other women, but prefer her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t lie about it. I don’t think mines high.
He asked me once when I lost my virginity and because I hesitated and took a few minutes, he told me I didn’t have to lie about it but I didn’t know if I should say 18 or 19 because it was like just about 12am on my 19th birthday so I was conflicted on which age to say but to this day him an his friends think I lied about my age… we aren’t dating and yes him and his friends talk about every single thing- like a woman

[Nikki1989]

In our 12+ years together, we have never discussed it and never will. That is for the very insecure.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Nikki1989
If someone ask about a person's sexual past, how does it makethe asker insecure?

[Nikki1989]

@MysteriousDarkness It is an obvious sign of insecurity. If they are worried about that, you can guarantee they will have issues with many other things as well. It is a huge red flag.

[BaronVonBarron]

@Nikki1989 man with standards and expectations is a high value man. Only low value men dont ask that question, because they are afraid they will lose the girl.

[Goahead76]

Guys should be insecure on this issue though, VERY insecure. This is millions of years of evolution, screaming at a man to tread very carefully in this regard. Guys who ignore this evolutionary protection mechanism do so at their own peril. They will often find themselves divorced, stripped of their assets and their children. I know a few of them. I apologize for coming in so hot on this topic but it's something I'm vehement about. Men stumble into these things and get financially wrecked all because they didn't pay attention to the warning signs.

[Finchie40]

I don’t consider it insecure from either side , it’s called being wise , someone’s past can indicate how someone truly is as to why they are constantly failing in relationships or indicate if they are a selfish person without a good moral mindset. Me personally n wouldn’t want to be with a girl that has been around the block 100’s of times and had a reputation of being easy and a whore. Especially if she isn’t honest about it. Which sadly a lot of people aren’t honest about their past , they just sugarcoat it to make themselves come off better than what they actually are

[Lliam]

Asking about body count is a red flag. It means the person is immature and probably Puritanistic.

I never asked a girlfriend (including my wife) about their body count and none ever asked about mine. I don't even want to know about their sexual history. It's irrelevant.

[MzAsh]

Agreed. There’s definitely an ick with the question itself. It gives “please tell me you’re oblivious to what sex is like with other people. Please tell me IM the center of your universe!”

[Lliam]

@MzAsh. Right?
Why are some guys so weirded out by the fact that a woman has had sex before?

[MzAsh]

I believe they fear the possibility she’s had someone better than him that she’s comparing him to.

[Lliam]

@MzAsh. I think so, too. Guys like that are probably sexually inept.

[Potteplante]

Yes, I'm completely honest that in between the age of 12-17, I fucked whatever and whoever with a small break when with my ex husband (who tbh was whatever)

According to many I'm disgusting, with no self respect and should honestly just kill myself by now because adult men would love fiddling with me as a kid. So now I'm not worthy of love, respect or even basic decency (according to those people - even plenty of them in the replies, men and women).

[RageBabe]

Yes, it's not that big because I have slept with people I was in a relationship with.

[Bricealan]

What's to lie about, and women never ask about previous sex partners. They don't really care, at least mine don't.

[Anonymous]

partners should be completely honest all the way and be willing to ask and answer any question with the truth

anyone saying body count doesn't matter has low standards and wants an excuse to hoe around and spread diseases. they rather live in ignorance rather reality

[Anonymous]

I’ve only been penetrated twice the same man… this was 1 week ago..

I just lost my virginity at 32

[NicholasRedone]

Party emojis for you 🥳🎉

[Petermorgan343434]

Im completely honest. I've been with 5 women in a going all the way. I choose to place the value of sex on a relationship vs casual non comital and i don’t care what others think but in my set of moral values you should only have sex if your committed in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think we could have answered the question without the long dissertation. I never talk about dicks of Christmas past.

[NathanDavis]

they all know that I had one/two/three/four ex-girlfriends before

they never asked "body counts" they just wondered about past relationships

[ErikSummer]

Yes, I'm honest, but if she wants to know it she has to reveal it first. If she gives a rough indication I do the same, for example that I can still count them on my fingers but with both hands (without taking off my shoes).

I'm not that interested in a number. If she is chatty about her past I like to know her longest relationship so far and also how long she has been single. I'm never inquisitive. I just listen and nudge her a bit. Most like talking about themselves a lot.

[Benjiman19]

My body count is 2 and I'm honest about it if asked about it. No need to lie

[Anonymous]

I'm always honest if a guys asks because I have nothing to hide. I've had sex with two guys in my life because I've had two lt boyfriends. I'm pretty sure no guy would have any issues with that.

[molonski2]

I just cross my fingers that they dont ask or care. If it came up , I'd tell a white lie for sure , so not to hurt.

[hahahmm]

The question never came up but I always observed and luckily I never fell for someone who is all about racking up body counts.

[Babygirl_S]

I’m a virgin and I have nothing to lie about. If he doesn’t want me, I don’t care.

[NicholasRedone]

Aww 😝 wholesome answer award 🏆 genuinely

[NicholasRedone]

I know that boat well. Shrug. I guess not everyone wants to bungee jump - i know I don't 🦘

[NicholasRedone]

Anyways, I enjoyed my 20s and continuing my 30s , even if I didn't spend it with a girlfriend or long term partner or even just plowing the fields lol 🏞️😜😜🏞️🏞️🏞️

[Oldschool1981]

My wife said she slept with roughly 400 guys before we met and perhaps 300 more since we married nine years ago

[JesseP1nk]

Im sure your children will be a proud🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Oldschool1981]

@JesseP1nk We don't want kids, so no biggie

[Drumlin2001]

I have been honest. But then I was a very late starter and my body count is only 2.

[exitseven]

It is pretty small so nothing to really lie about.

[Redstang88]

I’m honest if asked but it’s not something I usually bring up

[Anonymous]

I don't lie. I might not answer, but I don't lie. And if that's a problem for her she can f*** off. Odds are she's not even going to be honest about hers.

[Agape93]

I'm open about it, I don't care

[David5668]

All that should matter is the here and now, unless one of you is a closet serial killer.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I see no need to either brag or hurt her and I didn't ever want to hurt someone who I'm interested in.

[FreyaRed]

Yes. They are anyway convinced I'm laying

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's 0 (Zero).

But I'm single anyways, no girl wants me, so it doesn't matter.

[LazerBean]

Of course, and I'm sure my husband is as well.

[NicholasRedone]

Current or future hubby? 💍

[LazerBean]

Current husband

[NicholasRedone]

Awws 🐦🐦 ❤️ you two lovebirds. Very nice. I hope it's a honest and wonderful relationship 😍 and an equal one on works both ways 💓

[NicholasRedone]

Happy 🎊 new year 2025

[LazerBean]

It is, thank you! And Happy New Year to you too

[BarryLiverstone]

Honest. BC doesn’t matter, does it?

[Paige90]

I am honest and will tell him if he asks

[jaskinry2022]

honest about it

[strateguy632]

No fib i honestly lost count after ten.

[lightbulb27]

100%

[lorenzomichael]

I just say “I Can’t remember, I think it’s 6”

[Gabriella02]

Only admit to what asked.

[JonesT10Apr]

wish for the answer like

[MiddleKeys]

Tough question