Can a monogamous/traditional relationship truly be obtainable in this day and age?

[Justneedtokno]

At this point all of this seems like a fantasy. Women being vulnerable men being reliable or wanting to be on the same path doesn’t seem obtainable anymore.

Everything seems more Polly and accessible

[Grond21]

Yes. It is more than possible. It's always been possible, it's just that the loud people were attacking it in the past few decades. But people who live in this kind of relationship are quiet. They don't need to broadcast their success because they are happy living in it. So if you go online to try to find it it'll be difficult. If you go into the places where allowed people congregate, those who are searching for relationships and carrying lots of baggage, you won't find it.

[Justneedtokno]

I totally understand I think Eileen✨ more towards the traditional route and friends and family and quaint things
I just think the ways and actually trying to get there might be difficult at this time

[Grond21]

I'm glad to hear that you lean that way. Why will it be difficult at this time? Do you have any friends who feel the same way you do?

[Justneedtokno]

Partially although we’re all alone in our own journey so I think it’s take’s time

[Grond21]

What is your strategy for finding a good man?

[Justneedtokno]

Study how to be a good woman or wife and honestly no strategy I don’t have time to scheme

[Grond21]

What does a good woman look like for you?
What hobbies do you like to do?

[Justneedtokno]

Well, take pointers for mostly in the Bible and also adding to the modern world and what we are accustomed to right now and I have some friends that are married. But my idea is a partnership meaning I will work to help the family as well as my partner being supportive being understanding

I don’t think I have one single hobby. I just like exploring and doing things.

[Grond21]

That's a really good start.

Yeah? Like what?

[Justneedtokno]

Music poetry family you know regular things sir

[Grond21]

Those are good things. Do you do them alone or with other people?

[Justneedtokno]

Depending on the activity. Mainly with family and friends. Because showing up alone to certain things just feels kind of weird.

[Grond21]

I think if you're able to get over that and do it anyway you will find a lot of success in finding love and friendships.

[Justneedtokno]

We have to think about Saftey and comfortability

[Grond21]

Of course. And when you do, there are many good options

[genericname85]

yeah it absolutely can. the financial part of it (single breadwinner household) is gonna be harder tho if that's what you include in the meaning "traditional" relationship. simply cause women joining the workforce has fucked that option up for pretty much everyone but the upper middle class and the rich.

[Justneedtokno]

I definitely don’t think a one person income in this day and age will work and I wouldn’t want to put put that on my significant other to handle alone, I would feel like I’m not doing anything

[genericname85]

well if that's not part of it for you, then it should be relatively easy cause i'd say that's what the vast majority of people want. men as well as women.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. I'm a traditional person. Educated, never drank or smoked up anything, virgin, ... yet I'm unable to get a guy who's the same as me. It's the 304 men I get and I have given up almost on this whole thing called dating. I guess this Era requires all of us to be irresponsible people , and the ones who are not so are the leftovers..

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah it's possible its just hard to find. Don't look online since that is where all the unhappy people are lol.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sure hoping so!

I'm hoping to find the right person for a traditional monogamous relationship. It's the only kind of relationships I've ever had. It's the only kind of relationship I've ever wanted. It's the only type of relationship I'll ever be interested in having.

I totally get where you're coming from. For me, it's the way society broadly treats infidelity so casually. There's this widespread 'well... everybody does it. it's not all that terrible" kind of attitude around cheating that makes me worry that an actual loving monogamous relationship might not be possible.

The increased prevalence of all those...'nontraditional relationships" (poly; thrupples; 'open relationships' etc) That doesn't bother me so much. I really don't think they're actually widespread things. I guarantee you that most people you know, are either currently in a monogamous traditional relationship, or are looking for that type of relationship (if they were to looking for a relationship),

I just would never get involved with a girl who had different values about what exactly a relationship should be. I don't know if I would even get involved with a girl who had EVER been in some non-traditional relationship in the past. Even if she was looking for a monogamous relationship with me. I wouldn't trust that we ultimately had the same values when it comes to love and relationships. I wouldn't be able to understand how she had ever had a "poly" relationship if she shared my values.

Are you really finding that so many people are looking for non-traditional relationships that you worry there aren't enough guys out there looking for a traditional relationship? Or is this post based on some specific experience that's lead to you feeling this way? (like... maybe the guy you've been chatting with for a month told you that he wants a poly relationship)

Either way... I think there are still a few of us weirdos like us kicking around. I don't think you'll fail to find the type of relationship you're looking for; due to a lack of guys interested in a 'normal' monogamous relationship. Hang in there. 🙂

[Summeroflove]

It really does depend on the relationship most don’t work because people don’t know what they’re doing and aren’t building a genuine connection with one another. At first it can seem like a dream that can quickly turn into a nightmare.

Number one is infidelity a lot of times the man becomes hyper focused on his career and the woman becomes hyper focused on the children not having a lot of time for one another, not feeling appropriated by one another, and it can turn into a coexisting type situation very fast. If trust and integrity isn’t there there will be opportunities to cheat for both partners at some point or another so if it’s in their blood it will happen.

Number two for the women out there being financially dependent without a backup plan. Maybe prenups make some people cringe but it’s insurance most people don’t plan on being divorced but it’s a important thing to have because if divorce happens one person or the other is getting screwed that’s the way it typically works. If a woman is putting her entire financial dependence on a man if she gets divorced everything’s going to be gone. Fighting for child support, alimony, among other things as well as not having a good backup plan as far as a job and education goes chances of you working low paying crappy jobs is very high. Not to mention being stuck possibly in a abusive relationship that a shelter is the only way out because you have nobody anymore especially if you move far away.

Number three is for the men out there not only does this attract possibly controlling and abusive men…. It also attracts women too who simply want a easy life. You’ll work 70 hours a week to come home to be nagged at and given a honey do list. You’ll be miserable you’ll be cheated on by bums and losers while you’re providing. If you don’t have a prenup you could end up loosing tons of assets that she never worked for including child support, alimony, among with the house, car, and everything.

Prenups should be there to protect both persons and if someone doesn’t want one it could signal very well that they fully intend of divorcing you once they're done with you even if their love bombing is wrong and they make you seem like the a-romantic one.

It can work truly only if two people genuinely love one another and build a connection together. But most tend to be materialistic and superficial as well as one sided. But many young men and women get into these relationships and live a horror story.

[AviatorTom]

I know several couples, aged 30s to 70s, who have traditional monogamous relationships.

[HungTexan]

I think it’s really hard, but it’s possible if both partners will work on it, and it needs to be the right partner for a monogamous relationship.

[AnonAndrew]

No, in most cases I don't think so. Monogamy is completely unnatural to us, since we have evolved for polyandry (where one woman has multiple husbands), so monogamy can usually only be sustained under strong social pressure.

[Justneedtokno]

No one really talks about women having multiple husbands. Only the guys having multiple wives. I think that is a new concept.

[AnonAndrew]

@Justneedtokno
Yeah, polyandry has been very rare in modern history.

[alice55]

It's possible but you need to fall on the good person and there's no a lot out there.

[Cormac995]

I hope so, and if not, I wish it was the case.

[Anonymous]

For a woman you're fighting an uphill battle after 30. And many will likely have to concede a bit which most are unwilling to do or they probably wouldn't be single still in the first place.

For a guy you're going to have to concede a bit to. She might have a few lbs. She's probably had a couple 🍆's already. She MIGHT even have a child.

Yes monogamous relationships are possible. But BOTH the man and the woman have to really want it. Not just on thier terms.

[slatyb]

Lots of couples are forming monogamous relationships. If that's what you want, then ask for it when you meet someone.

[Kelly6]

@Justneedtokno its getting more and more hard for traditional marriage

[Anonymous]

Monogamous maybe, but a lot of guys cheat. Traditional is hard to find unless you find someone whose values align with yours.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women pretty much killed traditional relationships.

[Justneedtokno]

I would ask you how but I already know your answer

[Anonymous]

the chances are extremely slim. both parties would need to agree to be traditional

[LazerBean]

Sure, it just depends on the person.

[bowenw]

From my observations, it still seems to be common.

[Oldschool1981]

I don't stress monogamy from my wife at all.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's a great question.

[NathanDavis]

yeah, it happens all the time

[Nightmoon23]

That’s not true

[DrPepper12]

Yes but keep an open mind too.

[Jennz6]

I suppose it is possible 🤷‍♀️

[Twalli]

My fiancée and I have one.

[msc545]

Probably not.

[jahaims]

Duh.

[eagle1951]

beats me