Are monogamous relationships outdated?

Question

I ask because it seems like I’m always meeting guys who either want polyamory or open relationships but I’m more the monogamous type. Just having one man who I really love is good enough to me. Is that trait even still appreciated?

FTnWo · Accepted Answer

Absolutely, I am all about being with one female that is all about being with one man, I've been with my wife 21 years and have remained faithful to her even when she wasn't and I think that is the only reason I'm kind of wanting to leave her for this amazing woman I work with.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

Yes, I';m certain that monogamy is appreciated by at least half the men you will meet !! That's just my personal guess - I haven't done a study on it.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Believe it or not, monogamous relationships still exist and are possible. The problem is finding like minded people nowadays.
I've never understood or liked open/poly relationships: to me that's just an excuse to fool around without committing to one person (Yeah I said it. Don't like it? TOUGH).

Whereas once you commit to one person, it shows you only want them and no one else. Some people are too scared to commit to one person for fear of being rejected, lied to, manipulated, cheated on, or fear of settling with one person because s/he thinks, "the grass is greener on the other side" (they think someone better is out there).
Just to name a few excuses.

With that being said, just make your intentions known upfront: on dating sites, or interacting with people in person. Let them know you want a serious, monogamous relationship and don't commit to them until you're sure they're willing to and you're BOTH on the same page in terms of relationship goals.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Monogamy is what almost all people my age want.

VanillaSalt · Answer

No… relationships are outdated. There’s too much risk for guys. Ima give you a scenario that’s not only possible but happens all the time…

Man marry woman. Gets mortgage. Together 10 years. Woman cheats. Divorce. Woman takes kid. Woman takes half. Man pays alimony and child support. Woman never remarried. Man pays both the rest of his life.

Let’s change it around…

Man marry woman. Gets mortgage. Together 10 years. Man cheats. Divorce. Woman takes kid. Woman takes half. Man pays alimony and child support. Woman never remarried. Man pays both the rest of his life.

Not much difference… try again.

Man marry woman. Gets mortgage. Together 10 years. Woman loses interest. Divorce. Woman takes kid. Woman takes half. Man pays alimony and child support. Woman never remarried. Man pays both the rest of his life.

Okay… last one.

Man marry woman. Gets mortgage. Together 10 years. Man loses interest. Divorce. Woman takes kid. Woman takes half. Man pays alimony and child support. Woman never remarried. Man pays both the rest of his life.

Divorce is 53% of marriage and women file 80% of them… I wonder why women are so much faster to divorce then men… I wonder why men are so done with relationships. Notice they all end the same. Man loses kids. Loses half. Loses tons of money… and odds are higher he’ll lose it then keep it… and 80% of them are decided by women… Men’s change of failure in marriage is literally 47% and he can’t do anything to stop it.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

We live in a time where monogamy will probably just leave you cheated on at some point... male or female. Also the long term route by marriage or even cohabitation by law... leads to deleterious routes for men, so smart men with independent means either opt out or make sure the chick can't take half (or more) of everything he owns. Also women seem to want to 'play' until around age 30 (AKA the wall) and only then they clamor for a relationship with a dude that has it all. If you were successful, physically fit, and basically have it all... why would you settle for some 30 something when you could find a 18 year old? Yeah he'll hit it, but why settle for that?

Real relationships nowadays are hard to find because of government/social factors. Most of the real ones I've seen are a couple made up of a guy that didn't see he could be taken advantage of and a woman that cared about him enough to not take advantage of him. Outside of that... all the obvious conflicts you could make up from my given examples.

Anonymous · Answer

Society is losing its values. That’s what is really going on.

Not to be the pot calling the kettle black because I personally went through some very promiscuous phrases in my life. But once I commit I commit. No matter how tempted I felt in all my past three long term relationships (and I had several opportunities to cheat) I did not cheat. I confess I sometimes acted flirty towards other girls but I never crossed the line. Wrong is wrong. However I got a feeling that at least one of my exes didn’t reciprocate the loyalty.

Anyway this “open relationship” modern crap is just euphemistic bs for friends with benefits. You are not in a real relationship.

The only very rare exception is maybe a 3some. But as exciting as that is I have to wonder about the lingering damage that might subconsciously do to the couple. Yes it was agreed upon but you are still having sex with someone else in front of your partner and vice versa.

The real problem is modern society and pornography is twisting peoples minds and making people lose their morals. This another “pot calling the kettle black” observation for me. I have been struggling with porn for most of my adult life. But I notice when I get off it for a while my brain starts to think straighter about relationships. The pervy fantasies in my head start to fade.

But I haven’t and wouldn’t hook up with someone in a “open relationship”. Yeah the cards are out on the table but still it feels wrong.

Price511 · Answer

As somebody who is Poly, I actually would say it's less about it being outdated, and more about Poly relationships being more accepted nowadays.

I know quite a lot of people who appreciate and enjoy monogamous relationships, as they love the feeling of devotion that comes from a monogamous relationship. For my own social circle, poly is the exception, not the standard, like how it has been for a long while.

However, with how it is nowadays with other things also being accepted, polyamory is also starting to be more acceptable and thus is more expressed.

Everybody has preferences when it comes to dating, and that's okay.

I think you just need to find the right people, I believe in you :)

MCheetah · Answer

Only a loser would think this. Even IF something "goes out of style" briefly, it doesn't make it wrong or incorrect. Like being sober, not doing drugs or getting high, and not treating yourself like a sex object currently isn't considered "cool." Doesn't mean you should just open up an OnlyFans and become a piece of trash, however.

So no, monogamy has not become outdated. You're just surrounded by more trashy people, losers, and hedonistic narcissists, nowadays. Give it enough time. They'll go away and this Era of Stupid and "it's all about me" will soon pass. Once all the Millennials hit 40+, maybe.

quarkstar63 · Answer

Absolutely not! If marriage between a heterosexual male, and female were no longer recognized, then your responsibility to that individual will never become unique and private. The ability to cherish that individual will become nothing more than an academic footnote. A monogamous relationship that's based on marriage is recognized by our society with a marriage license. It is only as valid as long as the physical commitment is adhered to. In other words, It is the responsibility of the couple to place loyalty, and love in the same sentence together. You cannot cherish someone in a romantic relationship without a monogamous commitment.

Heartache0405 · Answer

I'm 110% monogamous. Though in my experience it's the women and girls who tend to want open or poly relationships. Which is one of the many reasons why I don't date or do relationships. I like feeling special in a relationship and these days its impossible to have

DaveJord · Answer

I hope not. I want to believe they are not out dated.

But online dating I think breeds this culture or idea. You meet someone who you know must be talking to 3 or 4 other guys... because they seem to want keep their options open and not commit.

Second contributing fact is decline in the believe in traditional institution of marriage. Honestly the financial risks of getting married have huge ramifications. With so many divorces and women's liberation... which women are now being held financially liable regardless of fault... the risks are not just on the man. Its effecting women... so traditional roles and ideas, principles and believe behind mognomy are in decline.

Men used to want to get married just get laid regularly, and women wanted marriage for security... but now more and more women don't need security from a man, and therefore marriage is not required... and men can get laid without being married or mognomious.

WhateverMayBeWillBe · Answer

Yeah dawg, monogamous relationships are dead, it's all about collecting STDs, the new way of "spreading the love", how else are you suppose to be in a state of emotional distress if your partner isn't really your partner and you're uncertain if you can trust them because at any moment they can be with one or more of their Bfs/Gfs or Zir/Zims at a time. If you aren't having bad sex with strangers while intoxicated on who know what in a seedy bathroom at some shitty bar or club than you're not really living.

SkyCastle90 · Answer

Polyamory is a fad right now. While you got the people who are truly poly and know the work it takes to have a stable poly relationship, on the other side of the coin you got an influx of monogamous people trying to be poly, bisexual, etc for their own personal reasons.

Plus, as a monogamous person, the misconception I use to harbor was that polyamory was easy; as in "all your eggs are not in one basket", and you get to bounce around from one friends with benefits to another. Of course there's a lot more to it, but that's probably how a lot of monogamous people feel, especially after getting out a long relationship that just didn't work out.

Personally, I still don't get it.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I'm coming to the realisation that there are some things in life just not worth paying attention to. And this is one of them.
I always day this.
What do you want?
If you don't get that, end it and move on.

I'm going to say something else that may seem odd but here I go:
Don't even pay attention to those things that aren't in line with who you are or what you want.
Its nice to be educated on various topics and consider what it is so that you can decide for yourself if it's something you might like to try, or not. But once you know its not for you filter it from your life?

You don't want to date the mass population. What you want is to find your match.
That's all that matters.
In the meantime let others do their thing whilst you do yours.

Diodoro · Answer

If you don't have a kid, stay in shape, treat men well, and like to have sex. You will never have a problem finding a guy for a monogamous relationship

Like girls who genuinely love sex flip a switch in a guy's head sexually and we lust after that. Like an animal in heat.

If a girl makes a guy feel approved of, appreciated, and accepted just for being a man we will love you. Combine them and you have to beat guys off you with a stick.

The girls I know who have multiple marriage proposals or girls who have been married once or twice all have these traits.

Wester1967 · Answer

For all my exes who wanted to act single while in a relationshit with me, who told me I was insecure, immature, toxic and controlling. They all turned out to be middle aged and single. Single moms working 70 hours a week. Childless and drunk with a drunk boyfriend. Addicted to anti depressants. Miserable. Won't show their faces on social media over how hideous they've become. I mean WTF ever. "Strong and independent don't need no man. Don't tie me down" They passed me up for bad boys and STDs and a life of what they got. Surely it won't happen to you. If you're a young F boy or girl, listen to what happened to the hot girls of the 1990s. Or don't. I could care less.

jaybee281 · Answer

No they aren't - Some dudes have just learned to play the game right - As in before it was either monogamy or they were just fooling around and in the case of the woman wanting more then he'd have been playing her all along and he'd be a "jerk" - Now polyamourous and open relationships give such dudes (and many women too) that same exact fooling around part - Just with your oblivious consent (and that involves everyone involved who actually wants a monogamous relationship) through you accepting that label (poly or open..) which takes away any pressure he'd have from committing - So no they're not outdated they're just either used by people who genuinely don't want an actual relationship or for people who use it as a way to not be bad..

TheBMG · Answer

No, I don’t think they are outdated. Maybe less practiced. I think, personally, less people want to put in the work for a monogamous relationship. It’s easier to be “open” to get what one wants and leave if they feel they need to. Too many outs in open relationships. You need to have conversations that build your relationship. The give and take in learning from one another, there is nothing like it. Happiness is fleeting and can change in an instant, as is an open relationship. Joy is deep in your soul and that cannot change and that’s what you get in a monogamous relationship. Ones who can’t commit to only one person will always have a wondering eye.

MountAverage · Answer

They're not outdated, considering they still make up probably 95% of all relationships. What's been changing the past few years and decades though, is that alternative relationship concepts are becoming socially more acceptable. And that's a good thing. People should be free to find whatever relationship concept works best for them.

There's nothing wrong with monogamy, there's nothing wrong with open relationships, there's nothing wrong with polyamory. You can be in loving, supporting, fulfilling, long lasting relationships with all these types.

Assi2k · Answer

Those guys are idiots🤣

They’re just tryna look cool to their friends cuz they need validation from lack of self esteem.

“Why would anyone be interested in me alone. I’m not good enough.” That’s how they think.

They’re grow out of it maybe.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I would say it is still appreciated, although I have known people that while monogamous themselves, they may do some odd stuff.

Knew a couple that once a year his wife would take him to Vegas so he could have sex with some other woman to do all the kinky stuff she didn't want to do.

This other person was hired, not actually polyamory, polygamy or anything else.

Finchie40 · Answer

I hope not , but these days it seems that’s what is happening,, I blame a lot of it on social media , but I honestly. won’t jump on that band wagon cuz I only need 1 girl. So I guess I am old school, and believe love only grows between 2 people that stand by each other’s side , I won’t commit to someone that can’t commit to just me

molonski2 · Answer

Im not sure that monogamy actually really works long term , its more a process of comfortable and acceptance of fate. I also have seen this trend to " Open " , but this would also have many difficulties..

I dont have the answer , more of an observation , but whatever works for the individual I guess.

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes I'm in one. I the people I know... all are monogomous or single as far as I know.
I know the others exist. It may just be the area you are in that has been polluted. Big liberal run cities would be infected.

These other ideas are family relationship viruses that prevent building foundational lives and offspring. our country is at risk... a vaccine should be developed.

Manolithor · Answer

The only thing outdated is the human brain. All churches that have to do with Jesus Christ in some way, have modify society to their own beliefs for the past 2000 years. However if we take a look at the Roman empire they used to have sex with different men and women this sex been gay, lesbian and straight, their festivities will include orgys. You can also see this kind of behavior on the Greeks B. C.
Mormons, Arabs and some other cultures can have as many women as they are able to provide for.
So to answer your question, monogamous relationships, have never been the only way. It's just the human brain been program by a church, so we do what they want us to do, think what they want us to think ( jealousy) (good, or bad) to their eyes.

P. S.:
Did you know that the Bible mentions Mary Magdalene, who was a prostitute and she is mention to be with Jesus many times throughout the Bible. (who is the hypocrite)?

RobT312 · Answer

I like my monogamous relationship and intend to keep it that way. However, we both mutually agreed to have a threesome and had another guy in our bed. while this may technically break the monogamy barrier, it was an exception and we still see ourselves as a monogamous couple

jshm2 · Answer

Nah, they're just trying to see if you're "game" or not. It's a common trick where a few drinks later they'll get into your head and make you think a threesome is a "great" thing to get into.

Takes me back to some of the wilder times where the frat boys would "beast" their girlfriends. Sometimes three four guys at a time. Wasn't pleasant...

AviatorTom · Answer

No, monogamous relationships are still the norm. There have always been people who prefer open relationships. In today's world, with social media and instantaneous news, we probably know more about what people do than in the past. It doesn't necessarily mean they're doing it any more or less, it's just more obvious today.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Sure it is, i really don't know where your searching to find such guys 🤣
I'm like you, one girl is enough for me and i want to love only one girl forever, marry her and make her my sweet housewife 😊

There is no such thing called an open relationship, it's either a serious relationship or just having fun...

t-8900 · Answer

For me it's monogamy or nothing. I hold myself to a higher standard and will only be with a woman of class who feels the same. I don't have time for part timers and I'm not d2f randoms.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not outdated. Definitely a lot of people out there who prefer monogamous relationships rather than poly. With poly, I think they just want more than one cooter to bang when they get sick of you… Or a more “open” way to cheat… Especially if you are monogamous and they don’t “believe” in monogamy. I dislike it. I can't even imagine giving attention to TWO or more people?

Seinna · Answer

It's better that they tell you upfront what to expect from them :) I'm also only interested in a monogamous relationship - one leading to marriage.

Kabluie · Answer

In this day, I think they are becoming so. Non-mono and poly allows more freedom to meet people who fit different interests than one partner. You don't have to like or love someone any less seeing another person. Poly can be solo, or more kitchen table like.

JSmuve · Answer

Yes, monogamous relationships are outdated. They're nice in theory but they're a lot of work and if you commit to the wrong person then you're with someone who leaves you unfulfilled or worse. Keeping it open allows you to maneuver between people until you find one you're confident you can commit to if/when you're ready for that.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I only want monogamy, but I'm also having a hard time finding a match, mainly because it's hard to find single, artistically talented, intelligent women, who like difficult video games, sci-fi, fantasy, anime, and don't drink, don't smoke, or do any other drugs, AND dont have or want kids.

Voodoo69 · Answer

It is very appreciated ma’am. You are a true find. I’m old fashioned and believe a man and a woman should stay true to each other and only share those experiences with each other.

AnggieGirl · Answer

Polyamory is just a fancy way of being a slut. People don’t want to commit to one person. They like options. They don’t want to do the work.  Monogamous very much does exist

LegendaryIcon · Answer

Porn

I blame porn. If you'll notice, lots of "porn stars" and "porn amateurs", will put that they're "in an open relationship"

Why? Because they think it's cool that they can fuck, and flirt for money, but, also be in a relationship with someone, and they'll be ok with it

Same with strippers

MrCommodore · Answer

I don't understand how people can have open relationships, I'm just not built with that ability.

Anaaa7 · Answer

I hate the fact that people insinuate this kind of questions like it's normal. At least for me it's not.
Because of this kind of mentality nowadays you don't know what to expect regarding sexuality, relationship preferences etc. But it's weird if you ask them openly. Quite delicate I would say.

Miristheiss · Answer

To the whore, slutty mainstream modern society... probably.
They are following a lie though.
True contentment and peace & safety still lies with a marriage between 2 young people with similar values and commitments.

Oigit · Answer

Polyamory is becoming more socially accepted. So people are open about talking about it and saying that's is what they are looking for. It's not that monogamous relationships. Polyamory has become part of the over all conversation.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

I think it has been for centuries, people are just more open about talking about it now. If you are dating online, it's much easier to throw that out up front. There are plenty of people who still want monogamy though.

CandaceSims201 · Answer

I do not like anything about open relationship and i just think is exuse to get way with cheating. I am stircts what i wan from a monogamous relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Most men want to have all the beautiful girls in their life. I don’t even believe that they know how to love. Open relationship is another thing but cheating someone? I can not see any valid reason for this.

sage2021 · Answer

It does seem like more people aren't willing to commit to one person. There are so many cheaters now and more people seem to like the variety.

grega239 · Answer

Blame feminists. They were the ones promoting sexual liberation and promiscuity. Men just went along with it

devilman666 · Answer

I think most guys I meet seem to prefer monogamy, but I don't know, I can't speak for the men your age.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

There are just as many guys that want that too. Have you considered you could be looking in the wrong places?

Hairylegs222 · Answer

Yes it is. I want just one woman. Very hard to find though, I'm picky.

Adam1978 · Answer

No but today it's more to view it as a string of monogamous relationship rather than expect them to last a lifetime.

lilaccc · Answer

monogamous is still exist but you could say... it's rare now 🙃

Archerer · Answer

These are hard questions, most people who say they want monogamy aren't monogamous themselves, not truly... Plus 50% of people cheat so that isn't monogamous either, but it's not open or poly either, it is worse than all of them.

Marianna145 · Answer

I am monogamous myself I don't get people who want mpre partners

PAcc92 · Answer

If you as a woman are incapable of achieving monogamy you need to self reflect as you have all the power.

Andres77 · Answer

It is not outdated. Just not easy. Don't drop your guard or your standards.

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

No they are not outdated, lots of guys I know would like to be in one, but most women are players until they get older.

najekim · Answer

Not outdated. Vast majority wants a monogamous relationship. Some though wish to have a polyamory type set-up and others still want to have the monogamous relationship along with the swinging lifestyle. Whatever works.

007kingifrit · Answer

no of course not. infact they are making a big comeback now that 30 year old women are realizing "oh shit i can't get all the hot guys at this age"

women are learning the hard way you lock it in when young or you need to settle

Ninani · Answer

They're not outdated, just not the only option anymore.

BrosephBrostar · Answer

No, but it sounds to me like you're either attracting a type or live in... certain areas where the zeitgeist is to destroy tradition.

Are monogamous relationships outdated?

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