Do you look for a partner with higher EQ than you or are you the one with the higher EQ in a relationship?

Question

(For those who might not know, EQ is Emotional Intelligence)

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Truthfully, all the girls I've been with (from my perspective... and they've agreed), I was the more mature one in the relationship with more emotional intelligence. I handled conflict better and was always the one to deescalate the situation. I understood their needs communication wise and physically better than they understood mine.

I might be arrogant in saying so, but honestly I'd prefer to have a partner that has my level of EQ or higher so I don't have to be the one putting in so much work to resolve things or help them understand the right course of action in scenarios.

But I don't really look for it as it's not often I find a girl that has more EQ than myself. As long as they're not super immature and have some capability to read scenarios and other's emotions, that's all I expect.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I never consciously consider the concept of EQ, and I don't judge my wife's emotional maturity. My wife is Chinese. She grew up in a different culture and her response to a situation may be completely different from mine because of the strong cultural differences. However, I do appreciate the fact that she does not lose her temper when she gets frustrated, does not resort to name calling, throsing things, having tantrums, etc. and she eschews drama. I, too, have learned to discard those behaviors as I have gotten older, so I think we are a good match.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Equal or higher, no question. Obviously I would benefit in a relationship where his EQ was higher than mine, but the real reason in my mind is dealing with kids. Kids are hard to deal with and people with low EQ generally don't have the best kid skills. EQ, for those who disagree with that, is people's emotional intelligence, awareness, and skills for navigating volatile and/or sensitive emotional situations. It is not intelligence in the sense of IQ, which is largely related to reasoning, problem-solving, etc. IQ is largely a maths and logic assessment. People with only a high IQ can run right over emotional needs.

Kids need people with high EQ somewhere in their life, whether a teacher, coach or relative. So, I vote equal or higher EQ.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

My EQ always ends up being higher than my partner. It’s incredibly frustrating to do so much emotional labor for a man all the time

Finchie40 · Answer

I do t really consider that when I am with a beautiful girl that I have great chemistry with and connection with. Some girls’ have told me they loved my wisdom , which mainly stemmed down from my experiences in life, but I don’t think I am dumb but at times I can be if something went over my head lol I just treat people the same way I like to be treated , so I don’t really consider someone’s IQ to be that important to me , if they can carry on a normal conversation with me and we both smile , that’s all that matters.

worldscolide · Answer

I don't place much stock in IQ.. this is because, between my wife and I, our talents are vastly different. For example, I'm the cook, and I'm extremely good at that. My wife is the baker, and she is super good at that. I'm math/tech/obscure weird facts and history. She's sports, music, and she runs circles around me with Ms office products. We both game, though the games we play are very different. We do share some though.

The major reason I feel. Like she is smarter than me is if she was interested in my field (IT and cyber security) she would in a matter of a year or two make me look like a kindergartener, and I've been doing it since the 80's.

Kaneki05 · Answer

I want someone who's selective like myself. Has a lot of emotion and empathy but only gives to those they like.

I don't know if that's high EQ or not cause one could say it is been able to control emotions and expess like that is however one could say it's low like an anti-social disorder.

overlord337645 · Answer

personally i have always been told im more emotionally sympathetic and understanding of other people so im not gonna say its not possible but given how many times im told how symathetic i am or how kind and careing i am i would want someone with a higher eq than me but its kinda hard sometimes since not all of but id say quite a bit of society is pretty careless these days especially in the late teens and early 20s

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

I'm an Economist with a specialization in Law, of course I don't have any EQ. My wife has a way higher EQ and often translates to me those "emotions" that other humans experience.

GoodEnoughThen · Answer

I wish to continue to grow and I'm not afraid to grow or to have a stong partner, so I prefer and need someone botth smarter than me and higher EQ. I'm not interested in someone who is an emotional doormat.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I think looking for someone that just has Emotional intelligence is important. I don't know if I'm going to start asking dates if they know their score. Ha

MicahRaine · Answer

I'm learning more and more how important it is for BOTH partners to have a high EQ. So yes, I look for a partner with an equal or higher EQ.

Desi_Butcher · Answer

Haven't met any girl with a higher EQ than mine. Not bragging.

SleepingHazard · Answer

That's gonna be difficult, when you're dating a guy. /j

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't really look for that... they just happened to be that way, quite balanced too...

Professor-college · Answer

Emotional intelligence would be great to find

front2back · Answer

I'm emotionally not the intelligent, prefer a woman to be much more emotionally driven than me.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure how EQ manifests and how I'd measure it but an uncaring, immature or superficial woman probably would not last.

HungTexan · Answer

I think a high IQ is sexy.

exitseven · Answer

I pick the last one

lilBigPotato · Answer

Higher. Intelligence is sexy

Anonymous · Answer

The first option

Sunrising · Answer

I'd rather look at the whole package.

Do you look for a partner with higher EQ than you or are you the one with the higher EQ in a relationship?

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