Is this a real stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

I don’t hate stay at home moms I just can’t stand the bums who cry how hard their life is while they blow their husbands money, cry over doing laundry, and play the victim as if their life is so hard. “How much would it cost my husband to do all these jobs” or “how much would it be to be divorced and homeless because you make zero income because your husband finally got tired of a one sided relationship”.

I had a friend who was married to a stay at home mom. She was cute as a button and a very good mother. She home schooled her kids. She made home cooked meals every day unless they went out or she was like sick. Even when she was sick she still did everything.

He told me once that it snowed. She was out at 5:30 in the morning shoveling snow form the driveway because her husband had to work. Then made him breakfast and warmed the car up for him and scraped all the ice off. That’s a wife…. That’s a good wife who loves her husband.

A lot of the narcissists I’m surprised if they’re even awake by noon

[Apple1996]

It really depends like I'm a stay at home mom and I love doing chores including outside chores like shoveling, mowing the grass, cleaning the cars. My husband takes over certain things like cooking dinner and doing the night routine with the big kids if he's home on time. Everyone should break up the chores whatever way works for them as a couple. For me the hardest thing about staying home is keeping the kids entertained 24/7 so I complain about that being hard and stressful rather than the chores thats like the fun part for me tbh 😂

[Asker]

If someone stays home the person working shouldn’t lift a finger

[Asker]

Well vent to your husband about it. Not bitch…. Vent. But you seem to be focused on other men as well which is sad

[Apple1996]

The person working still needs to clean up after themselves and help if there's kids. Obviously I have 5 so expecting one person to always care for them is crazy lol

[Apple1996]

Focused on what men?

[Asker]

I mean spending time with the kids. And come on I know you’re NOT loyal. You’re on this website HOURS a day there is no way you’re really that busy

[Apple1996]

I'm not here for hours. I pop on and off for short amounts of time when I'm breastfeeding and pumping. And I'm extremely busy with 5 kids and the majority of the time having to completely care for every little thing that needs to be done at my house and for my kids. With my husband's job it's common for him to be gone weeks/months at a time so there is no other option besides for me to handle everything. And what makes you think I'm not loyal?

[LazerBean]

It sounds like your friend has an extremely good wife. Hopefully he will step up his game and start being as good as she deserves. Ridiculous to let your wife do men's work like shoveling snow, or continue let her do everything for you even when she's sick. I could not imagine marrying a man that is so inconsiderate.

[Asker]

It’s not “mens” work and she did it because she loves him. If he’s working all the time and she’s home then I think it’s fair

[Asker]

He doesn’t even ask her to do stuff but she does it anyways even if he insists. He works 70 hours a week…. And he does help sometimes.

I don’t think some people should ever get into a traditional relationship a real one is equal work in different roles. But obviously too many people want a free ride in life

[Asker]

I think if someone’s working to provide. Then it’s more then reasonable to take care of your partner. It should be equal effort and just saying “that’s a man’s work” is a lazy way out of doing things.

I don’t see why a woman can’t shovel snow. Plant a garden. Mow the lawn. Learn to fix things…. When their husband comes home mentally and physically exhausted from a. High stress job.

It’s just such a shame seeing men in one sided relationships. Coming home getting bitched at by their wife whose banging other dudes. Being given a honey do list. That isn’t fair.

If he was smoking pot playing video games all day. Yeah that would be using her.

[LazerBean]

It's sounds like she's working at least 70 hours a week too. Probably more if she's also out shoveling snow before he leaves for work, and almost certainly still taking care of things after he gets home from work.

"That's a mans work", aka gender roles, is literally the traditional way of thinking, so you are very misinformed if you see that as lazy. It's definitely a shame to see men in a one sided relationship, but it sounds like your friends wife may be in one and that's a shame as well. My husband and his father would be ashamed of someone saw their wife out shoveling snow for them, or even just pumping gas. Because they are traditional men, and a woman doing those things when their husband is capable of doing them is shameful to traditional people.

[Asker]

So they’re both working equally as hard

[Asker]

Gender roles is the woman takes care of the husband. The man provides its not that hard to shovel snow.

I think you need to mature before you consider getting married

[Asker]

I really feel so sorry for your husband….. that is one miserable man. It’s hard to pump gas or shovel snow when you stay home all day?

I don’t think you’re mature enough to be married and I’m sorry your daddy spoiled you rotten. If you grew up on a farm you would have a very different perspective

[Asker]

Women and men can do these tasks…. She does it because she CHOOSES to and what should her husband just tie her down? I mean give me a break.

I’m sorry you use your husband for money and don’t genuinely love him. I’m sorry he’s living in a one sided relationship also you’re a adult. If your daddy is involved in your marriage…. That’s just sad too

[Asker]

But she also cooks. Cleans. Sews. Takes care of the kids. Does a lot of the grocery shopping and money managing.

Yes they both work hard that’s how relationships like that are SUPPOSED to work. I think you had a very fantasyland idea of a marriage. They are very happy together and if you feel the need to shit on people who are happy jt tells me that you’re not a happy person. You’re obviously lacking something and maybe you see two people who are happy and ir triggers you.

I honestly had respect for you at one point. But if you really feel the need to judge someone else’s relationship. It tells me you’re not happy…. Why do you care what works for another person? Maybe their relationship is different then yours. Maybe your marriage is different and that’s okay too but it’s the way you’re acting that tells me everything I need to know about you.

A real marriage is equal effort on BOTH ends. Not one person sitting around all day

[Asker]

And call me misinformed all day long…. You should read the verses about the virtuous woman. You should look at what housewives did decades and even centuries ago.

If you went back to that point in time you would never last a single day. I don’t think people understand how hard wives used to work staying home….. A lot of people though got spoiled by daddy their whole life and have a fantasyland idea of how a marriage shouod work. Where you just receive without having anything to offer in return.

It’s not that he doesn’t shovel snow or stuff but if she sees him doing it she goes and helps. She is a good wife the type of wife you could only DREAM of being. Someone whose ambitious about her husband and family.

Like I said her husband said he feels bad and told her to take a break. But she won’t and he said she genuinely seems to enjoy doing these things.

I could never marry a wife whose lazy. Just wants to sit around the house because I’ve seen these marriages many times and they never ever work.

His father not your father excuse me for reading that long shouldn’t have his nose in your marriage. I refuse to live a life of one sidedness and misery that comes with marrying people that refuse to life a finger.

[LazerBean]

Wow I'm not reading all that lmao you can go preach your progressive, modern interpretation of traditional relationships somewhere else

[Asker]

I’m sorry I’m ranting but it drives me crazy. That you don’t feel a marriage should be equal effort. She doesn’t have to work. She lives in a nice house despite having some financial struggles in the beginning where she did work for a time….

But you’re very misinformed and frankly I think you’re unhappy nothing will ever be good enough. Your husband even looks miserable in the photos to me sadly. I can see it in his eyes.

You have a very one sided view on what marriage should be. If you look back in time house wives didn’t just sit around the house all day cooking and sewing as a hobby and focusing only on what they want to do. They worked HARD really HARD.

But one dude I knew who was married to a house wife/stay at home mom and I don’t think you’re this bad. She was about a useless as they come. She refused to cook. Refused to clean. Made her husband come home from deployments and doing home improvement work day in and day out.

Turned out she has MULTIPLE affairs with tons of different men while he was deployed. Once he found out she went on a smear campaign making him out to be abusive and claimed he had affairs. She even tried using his own family against him.

Eventually people did find out the truth and she pretty much got excommunicated by most people. She moved away with her 10 kids which some of her later kids look nothing like her husband…. So there is that. Her older kids pretty much take care of the younger ones because she’s too lazy to be a decent mother

[Asker]

You’re not reading because you don’t want to read what you don’t want to acknowledge. I read your post all the way through and all I see is someone who wanted a easy ride in ljfe.

[Asker]

I’m not preaching anything modern or progressive. I’m saying even traditional relationships are 50/50 where both people contribute equal effort in different roles.

The man has a role. The woman has a role. They work equally as hard in those roles if it’s going to work. A lot of so called traditional women now are apolitical or even leftists who want a easy ride. Including some conservative women who complain about men as bad as feminists.

You obviously like to take the benefits of things but want to leave the parts you don’t like. You don’t want tk cook, clean, and do the jobs. Even Apple who is… a questionable person herself says she’s doing outside chores.

Doing outside chores isn’t going to join the workforce. Laxer you want a easy life. You want what benefits you but none the rest. Your marriage unfortunately probably won’t last 10 years. I hope I’m wrong. I hope you someday mature into a good wife and mom

[Asker]

But. I get it’s easy for you to deflect when I never talked about politics not once. It’s easy for you to use that as a deflection from what I said.

If you want to be a housewife then take care of the house. You should be working just as hard as your husband is. But I can’t help if if you don’t really love your husband. You love the money he makes. You love what he can do for tou. But if something happened to him beyond his control I would hope you’re loyal and would stay.

Read the verses of the virtuous woman..:. That’s biblical and LONGGGGG before any of the modern progressive stuff of today.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic stay-at-home mom debate! Remember that everyone’s situation is unique, and each dynamic works differently. Your friend's wife sounds like she's channeling superhero vibes, but let's not forget the pressures and challenges every stay-at-home mom might face. It's easy to spot a lovebombing situation or catch a ghosting vibe in a romantic relationship, but family dynamics are more complicated. Balance and understanding are key. If a partnership feels one-sided, a little heart-to-heart chat can go a long way. Let's sprinkle a bit of empathy and remember, superheroes come in many forms! 😉💪

[Anonymous]

Not an anon fan buy since you posted a "tough guy" question as anon, I shall reply in turn. Though I am curious why you spoke of your friend's wife and marriage in the past tense, I will not comment about them. What they did is great for them.

What I would like to offer is that it seems from your ending sentence that I do not think you have a good understanding or appreciation for stay at home moms. I have and do know many. Before kids reach school age, it's a ton of work and there's no sleeping until noon.

Just a little food for thought if you enjoy different opinions. But, of course, feel free to stay on your seemingly limited perspective and angry tone in your responses here.

[Asker]

They are still married

[Asker]

Many are great jusr there are narcissists who jump on it to get a easy wife. More times then not I see the complete reverse of this but people jump to defend a wife whose laying around all the time

[loverguy123123123]

Just like there is deadbeat men there is deadbeat women. It’s not fair to lump all stay at home moms into the same category as the bad apples because as you said there is some who are amazing.

But there is those women wanting a free ride in life and some men are too blinded to see a woman’s true intentions just as some women are too blinded as well. You just have to be careful because some people aren’t as they seem. Most of these women probably seemed really sweet and good at first until she suckered him into marrying her.

[NordicInScandinavia]

Fuck I feel for that woman. She really got the shit end of the deal. fuck.

[Asker]

No she doesn’t that man works at least 70 hours on a good day and works a very high risk job

[Asker]

He never even asked her to do that. She does it because she loves him. She stays home because she loves her husband and kids. They work equally as hard in different roles.

That’s how it used to be…. Back when houseives were the norm.

[Asker]

I know now that narcissists have jumped on the trad wide trend simply because they want a easy life.

The truth is these marriages never last and these women would never last a day back in the old days where women stayed home.

Even a few decades ago the only women who stayed home was in middle class and up families. Back when it was affordable anyways.

Imagine many husbands could be gone for days or weeks at a time. Not all children had access to schooling. So homeschooling was normal. They sewing and cooking wasn’t just fun little hobbies it was how they survived. They had to cook there wasn’t easy boxed dinners. They made most the clothes and blankets.

Being a house wife and a stay at home mom was a not only a full time job but a lifestyle. It wasn’t getting drunk witn your friends. Making your poor husband whose probably drinking himself to death because he’s so miserable. Sacking the trash. Honey do this honey do that…. Cheating on him and even bringing men over while he’s at work.

I know men who have lived these horror stories or should I say…. Whore stories. But it’s why I tell me to be VERY careful.

[Asker]

It’s cute to sew a sweater once in a while and cook dinner and say “I take care of my man” and then proceed to BITCH how it would be easier to join the workforce but they never really do it.

They just want attention because they’re narcissists. They aren’t good wives and I think behind the scenes there is a lot more that goes on.

Unfortunately too there is good women who get into these relationships which I warn them as well. That if their husband starts cheating or being abusive. These relationships can be extremely hard to get out of. You could end up a homeless single mother whose barely getting by because you have no financial autonomy or money saved up.

So this goes both ways. If people don’t marry the right person it can end up a absolute disaster.

Now I don’t agree with this way or thinking. But some people say “well if they’re dumb enough to marry someone like that” the sad thing is. The children don’t deserve it either. They go through absolute hell

[Asker]

I think a prenup is essential for both people. I know some people don’t believe in it until they’re the ones getting screwed over.

It’s just insurance. Nobody plans on getting divorced (not most people) but it can happen. So you want to make sure that the woman isn’t after your money. You want to make sure she’s not goof to steal everything she never worked for.

The same for the woman. She needs to have a agreement that if something happens she will be able to have a certain amount of money in order to take care of herself as well as the children.

It should be a double sided agreement between both individuals so that if something happens. Nobody gets the short end of the stick.

[Anonymous]

Damn, he must have been a real loser to need a woman to do everything for him. Not surprising, most men are useless at the best of times. It is a wonder most can wipe their ass.

[Asker]

He’s not a loser he works 70 plus hours a week providing for his family in a very high risk job.

[Asker]

Only a loser would marry someone and provide no value to their life. Most men aren't useless and neither are most women.

But you should search your heart and find out where all this bitterness is coming from. Why you’re so unhappy…. And judging someone else’s relationship to feel better about yourself.

You’re not someone a high value person would want to marry. If the only think you can do is sone menial takes anyone with half a brain cell could complete.

Please I would really like to know what makes you a winner

[Asker]

I would like to know what companies you own. I would like to know your ambitions. I would like to know where you went to university to get your doctoral degree.

I would really like to know what makes a narcissist like you think you’re better then other people. Because you’re not you’re probably a loser whose either married to someone making him miserable or in a apartment with 19 cats. I don’t know

[Asker]

It’s hard for narcissists who want to receive love but lack the ability to ever get any. He never even asked her to do things like that for him. She just does it.

She gets up between 4-5 every morning. Makes breakfast. Makes sure her husband gets up and the kids get up on time. Then she spends most of the day homeschooling and cleaning the house. Though when her kids are older her and her husband decided to allow them to enroll in traditional schooling if they choose to.

I’m sorry that you just want a easy life where you don’t have to do anything. But those marriages end in divorce.

If he was a man whose sitting around smoking pot and playing video games. I would agree that he’s a loser and unfortunately I’ve seen women taken advantage of too.

But these people both take care of and provide for one another. He has to be at work regardless of if it’s snowing or icy. So yes she does salt the driveways and shovel and get him ready to go.

Yes she does most of mowing the lawn but sometimes he does it because he finds it relaxing but they most of the time do it together.

When they struggled financially for the first few years of marriage. She actually worked some odd jobs and he took over some more of the duties around the house. Since she was working a little bit.

I truly believe she would have married him if he was dirt poor. I think she deserves to have a nice house and a loving husband with kids. Not everyone deserves that. Not everyone deserves a wife who does all of those things

[oldpigg]

Housewives are useless keepers.

[Asker]

Some are unfortunately I don’t know what the dudes get out of them. I think some are just doing it for the children at this point but most aren’t even good moms who are like that. Not all but

[itsannalee]

Well we have lady cleaner who helps us.