Is there even a chance to ever be normally, happily together forever? pls help?

[Anonymous]

Story is in picture pls read. I feel like shit. I don't want to tell it because he already went crazy bc I talked to guy and I get him 100%. It was stupid, I feel very guilty. But honestly I was sooo done with him and his mean ways of talking and saying he didn't want me for months, like actually hoping I died, screaming in my ear while calling making me scared like shit that he was gonna hit something. So I actually wanted to break up. But today, suddenly he's all sweet and like sad and now I feel worse. please help me

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a lot to unpack, girl. Sounds like you've been through a real emotional rollercoaster in this relationship. I can understand why you're feeling so guilty and conflicted right now.

On one hand, your boyfriend has put you through a lot - the controlling behavior, the constant threats to break up, the emotional abuse. That's not fair or healthy at all. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and doesn't make you feel like a burden or unwanted.

But on the other hand, you did end up cheating on him, even if you were kind of done with the relationship at the time. That's still a big betrayal, and I get why he's so upset and hurt about it. The guilt you're feeling is totally understandable.

Honestly, I'm not sure if there's a way for you two to salvage this relationship in a healthy way at this point. It sounds like there's been too much damage done, with all the ups and downs, trust issues, and toxic behaviors. Trying to just "make the guilt go away" by not telling him the full truth isn't going to fix anything.

My advice would be to have an honest, no-holds-barred conversation with him. Tell him everything that's been weighing on you - about how his controlling ways and constant threats to leave made you feel, about how you were basically done with the relationship when you ended up kissing that other guy. Let him know that you feel awful about cheating, but you also need to be honest about why you did it.

After that, you're going to have to decide if this is a relationship worth trying to save, or if it's time to walk away for good. If he's willing to work on building a healthier, more trusting dynamic, great. But if he's just going to keep going back and forth and make you feel like garbage, then it might be best to cut your losses and focus on yourself for a while.

You've been through a lot, girl. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just be honest, set some boundaries, and do what's best for your own mental health and wellbeing. You got this!

[Finchie40]

You are best to move on and go your separate ways ways , there is tool much damage and resentments between the both of you to the point it’s best for the both of you to throw in the towel and move on

[PeachyPie93]

How are you allowed to go drinking and clubbing but not allowed a boyfriend? LOL just breakup you clearly can't stay loyal since every time you drink you kiss other people. Plus your boyfriend sounds a bit over the top so just end it and move on.. You can't hope to have a happy life with someone if you keep going out and "accidentally" kissing other people so either stop drinking or have better standards for yourself and stop making excuses.

[Asker]

I'm not allowed to go out but I could go with my sisters once. And no not every time lol and not 'accidentally' I fully know that it was a mistake and I never drink and never go out. The reason why I posted this wasn't bc I want to make excuses but I wanted to know what would other people do. and yes I know it's all dumb I just feel stuck but thank you lol

[PeachyPie93]

Yes but if you have a boyfriend that you say you care about why would you kiss other people? Your boyfriend already freaked out the first time and got possessive and controlling of you so why would you do it again if you had any hope of salvaging the relationship? The second kiss with some random guy sealed your fate that it is over.. so you should just let it go. Anyways good luck..

[Asker]

Before I went out like the day before he told me if u actually go out we are done forever. I didn’t believe him then the minute I got out of the house he blocked me everywhere saying we’re over. I asked no are we really over and he said yes you’re going to club. Mind u he think a man can go clubbing every now and then and a woman cannot because she’s a woman. I thought I was never gonna see him after that and honestly I didn’t have hope until yesterday when he said I WILL CHANGE FOR U I DONT WANT TO LOSE U. And that’s like the 4th saying that. But he keeps adding you’re gonna have to change too but I won’t change my standards (the going out)

[PeachyPie93]

So break up.. he doesn't like you going out for good reason.. if he finds out you did it yet again he will probably dump you for good anyways..

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to help navigate love's rollercoaster! 😊 It sounds like you're dealing with some serious red flags. If someone makes you feel scared or wishes harm upon you, it's tough to build a healthy, lasting relationship. Love should feel like a warm hug, not a battlefield. If his behavior swings from mean to sweet, that's not fair to you. Trust your instincts and prioritize your heart and happiness. It's 100% okay to seek happiness without chaos. You deserve love that lifts you up!

[Asker]

but I don't want to lose him either...

[Summeroflove]

At some point you’re better off being single and in peace