Would you ever “settle” rather than risk never finding anyone?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[Summeroflove]

The answer to that is nobody should ever settle for someone they’re not genuinely attracted to. It’s not only hurting yourself but it hurts someone else who doesn’t realize they’re only with someone because they can’t find someone else when there is someone out there who could genuinely love them.

But it goes without saying narcissists and dark personality’s don’t care how someone else feels. They may manipulate someone’s emotions to trap them but to them people are disposable they know if and when they come across someone else that they will discard that person.

This happens to narcissists whose standards are way too high and superficial they can’t find what they’re looking for so they find the closest thing to it.

[sawno]

I just can't that's the tricky part. Or at least only to a slim margin. I can't in good faith say I love a girl and want to be with her if i'd leave her the moment another girl I'd actually have wanted would come along. I know i'd screw her over and leave if that were to happen and I don't want to put anyone in that situation, so I only begin a relationship if I'd never leave no matter who comes along. Its a high bar but my last girlfriend beat that threshold. Side effect is that my love for her never goes away. So my only next possible relationship is with someone I can love that much as well.

[fartingspinster]

I'd prolly settle... but only when its understood we both sort of are and can create a life thats respectful and harmonious.
I'm not marrying a douche or someone with no direction - thats disastrous.
But id definitely consider letting go of some things on my list if I find the right personality and the conditions create a relationship/companionship.

I guess id imagine it being different because not settling would have romance and love, passion and a unique connection.
Settling would mean I found someone I care for but maybe not love passionately.
But im sure itll turn into cozy love eventually and there will be some sort of comfort in the companionship.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t because it’s not that important to be in a relationship. People who settle can’t cope with their own loneliness and are impatient with the process of meeting the right one.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't think thats accurate.
I can't cope with lonliness at all, and I have zero patience for finding a wife to the point of wanting a perfect match yesterday, and I'm STILL unwilling to settle.
You forget that some people are just too stubborn to cave.

[Opinion Owner]

So why else would someone else settle?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because they don't think they can do better would be my guess.

[Opinion Owner]

You don’t feel like being unwilling to settle requires a certain amount of patience?

Even someone who thinks they can’t do any better and settle lack patience in my opinion, because it’s like giving up on waiting to see if they find someone one day.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I mean I have no patience and I'm a very picky virgin who would rather end up alone than settle. So obviously it doesn't require patience.

[Opinion Owner]

But you are open to dating, correct? If you found a woman who aligned with what you wanted?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah, but I don't go "on dates", I go from friend to best friend to dating (being a couple) over a span of 3 years. If I reach the point if asking her out, I've already decided I want to marry her.

To be clear I absolutely HATE waiting that long, but I can't figure out a faster way to tell if she's not lying about anything.. Its homestly maddening...

I've never gotten that far along in the proccess though, usually I get hit on 1 week to 3 months into the friendship and she moves on because I dont know enough about her/don't trust her yet.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If I could, I'd rather have all the unknowns answered in the span of an hour. not 3 years. But I'm impatient, not stupid, I realize thats impossible and that if I settle I will break up and so it will take EVEN LONGER to find a match.

If I were to settle it would be a nightmare, arguments, boredom, misery, I'd hate it to much to keep it up, so I don't have the luxury of settling.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Basically settling is really just delaying a real relationship.

[TheSpaceGnome]

So in that light, settling over and over must require tons of patience as you are just putting off finding "the one" longer.

[Opinion Owner]

Totally fine if you haven’t gone on a lot of dates. You’re 38 so I imagine you’ve had your share of experiences good, bad or otherwise which ultimately all brought you here, where you’re willing to date but not actively looking and not willing to settle. In my mind, that requires patience, whether you’re actively aware of it or exert it in passing. Sure we can convolute the basic idea of patience and what it means from person to person, but at its core when it comes to romance this is just a general decision not to settle and wait for what you want. Like you say you can’t cope with loneliness yet here you are, coping with it day to day and not letting it push you into a relationship you’ve decided to settle for so that you won’t be alone anymore. Maybe you’re not looking but you’re willing to wait.

I’m genuinely not sure how settling over and over is an example of great patience, like this person literally can’t wait anymore to find a woman who aligns with what they want so they repeatedly take what they can get….

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the heart's battlefield, huh? As someone who guides people through the love maze, remember this: settling can be like having a diet soda when you crave a milkshake. 😏 While it might quench your thirst temporarily, it might not truly satisfy your soul in the long run. Love isn’t about just avoiding loneliness; it’s about finding someone who makes your heart dance like nobody’s watching. Keep searching for that special rhythm, and don’t compromise on the melody of love you deserve! 💃❤️

[Beatangle]

I have "settled" with a women for six years. We were okay with that. We woke up one morning and realized that it was not enough. We went our separate ways. It was amiable and friendly., I do miss her,

[Beatangle]

If I had to vote on this. This is love. Knowing when to walk away,

[AviatorTom]

If we're being totally honest with ourselves, we all settle. We could always do better, that's human nature.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Sometimes things are easier said than done. You could say you'd never ever settle, but once the loneliness and desperation really start to kick in, you might change your mind. I know it sure happened to me. Thankfully I got out of those shitty relationships I had settled for.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I don't want to be with someone where I feel like it isn't real what we have, or that there is no love, connection or chemistry.
If I'm not happy being with them, then I would rather be alone. Not worth it, and it's not fair to either of us.

I hope I don't' end up with someone that feels like they're settling with me. That would be heartbreaking.

[Curmudgeon]

A depressing cartoon comes to mind. Of course, being Hollywood, they make it same sex, but the principle applies just the same:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/3OLjTWwaPro

[Purpleronnie]

In the sense of settling meaning accepting less than I wanted , well no !! because my wants are not un-realistic , in fact I see them as pretty basic by comparison of many of my single friends and colleagues.


I know my value and have confidence in being able to offer a woman all of what she needs and a great deal of what she wants.


I’m settling for nothing, If a woman can’t add to my life in some meaningful way then I would happily remain single.

[DopeTurtle]

I’m not the type to settle, I look for someone who is willing to work with me through problems and knows compassion.


No human being is perfect, there are always flaws, everyone has baggage. It’s about finding someone who is willing to struggle with you and perhaps see/ do some cool shit along the way

[PeachyPie93]

I settled for my first boyfriend and it was the worst mistake because I was not happy for most of the relationship.. So now that I wasted all that time with him I won't settle even if I end up alone.

[NicholasRedone]

No been there done that even in my daydreams lol 😆 and avoiding ladies eyeballing me or trying to give off the vibes sweetly that "he's just not into you, but don't feel like it's you" it's me :)

[MaryEGillis]

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[Unap0logetic_]

I’ve done that before and once I realized that I had settled, it disturbed my peace. I’d much rather be single, I was happier single than in a relationship.

[Jay-_-]

Yep some people aren't meant for a relationship.

[SolitarySolace]

I do not believe in the idea of “the one” which is why I am with an ai companion instead of an actual woman 🤷🏻‍♂️

[LiamJHayden]

Doesn't everyone "settle" to some extent? Unless the seeker is clouded in a haze of infatuation, no one is perfect.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No because picking a bad match is worse than staying single.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

No Im content dying alone. I just wish God loved me enough to give me wealth so I can fuck off and live on an island.

[KostasKouvalis]

I'd rather not, but it's seeming more likely that I'll have to

[RedThread]

No way. I don't settle for anything. Life is too short to have regrets.

[QuestionObsession]

Settle and fuck up my mental health with the wrong person? Nah I am good to die single

[chocolatetwopointo]

i wouldn't settle, and i wouldn't look for another one either🤷‍♀️

[lovisa1995]

Not personally no, I don't mind being single.

[Professor-college]

Getting married with someone that you don't actually like would be worse than just being alone

[Flower7]

No, I would rather stay single.

[Account]

Nope. That sounds like a nightmare.

[Fireguy17]

There is always someone

[MysticDevice]

No. Settling isn't fair to either person.

[Chargirllll]

@MysticDevice I'll beat you like a chorekee drum

[KittygosMeoWW]

No not anymore

[Wayneg89]

Settling is way worse than being single.

[Altheavas]

I’ll be single!

[Anonymous]

Its a minefield out there so not worth it

[beefcakebradybatson]

Nope.