Are you happier now than you were 5 years ago?

[Simslover92]

I can honestly say I feel worse. I wish I had never been in a relationship. Not knowing what it's like being in one is better than being in one and losing the love of your life.

[Finchie40]

No I was happier 5 years ago , it seems my life went down the tubes after I lost my oldest brother and my mom within 3 months apart from each other , after that my relationship with my wife turned to complete shit , and then I got laid off from my job that I loved , and then shortly after that I ended up in the ER because I fainted , to find out my gall bladder was infected , after that surgery my surgeon said he noticed I have tumors underneath my rib cage and to have them checked out as soon as possible so I got it checked out and of course it took forever for me to get a friggin appointment , to find out I need to get surgery again , and my doctor told me to not work out because I can damage myself more. So I ended up going some weight and I feel my life just turned to pure shit like I have this constant dark cloud over me that won’t go away. I still try to be happy and positive but sadly it’s hard to do.

[Simslover92]

So sorry for your losses. That's so rough back to back like that.

[Finchie40]

Yea for whatever reason I am still waking up and facing another day , praying it gets better for me

[Simslover92]

It will! I can feel it! :)

[Finchie40]

Thank you 😊, I do finally feel like I am on the right track , all I can do I guess 😊

[Simslover92]

You're welcome! 😊

[exitseven]

5 years ago we were just getting into Covid. It was right before spring break and I told my students I would see them in a week and I never saw any of them again. We finished the semester on Zoom and it was aa total waste of time. Some students disappeared for a few weeks and I thought they dropped out. Then they showed up at the end to take the final. Many of the cheated but I did not fail anyone. They did not ask for that. I was pretty upset about that.
I would say that I am happier now. I am mostly retired and have had my hip replaced and it is doing good. We have a real president in the White House and I have a new truck.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[Beckybooboo]

I'm sorry for your situation 😞 but I've definitely been there. If I can give you any hope, I finally feel happy where my life is. Try not to worry about what was, because you just might miss out on what might be! I'm familiar with you on this site and know you are a nice and genuine person. Don't lose yourself.

[Simslover92]

Thank you. That means a lot! I will try not!

[fartingspinster]

Hell yes!
I was in my darkest moments 5 years ago
So glad im out of it, so glad im not around tbe negative Nancy's, and so glad im living my own life now

[fartingspinster]

@Simslover92

I just read your description... sorry! I would've responded to that too.

I get you, I met someone who I felt such intense emotions for, I never felt for anyone else in my life at the time years. It was a horrible breakup - not because of either of our choices but family pressure.

It took me 7 years to get over him. It was one of the hardest fucking things I ever did. My heart kept breaking over those 7 years and woke up crying so many times.

I only recently had the sentiment that I am over him. Like literally last week. And id like to share that with you. I had a dream that I said goodbye and I hugged and kissed him for the last time. When I woke up, it sent me through so many emotions... I started to miss him again. Everytime I felt I was getting over him, dreamland would make sure I dreamt of him and Id have a rush of emotions again. Making getting over him to be soooo hard.

But I think those dreams were just my subconscious trying to process the emotions. After another painful moment pining over him, I got attention from another guy that I actually really liked. He had the warmest and nicest eyes id ever seen.
I stopped thinking of my ex and started realizing I wanted a man like that in my life, and although thats what I liked about my ex initally... he proved to be cold and mean when I reconnected. Even just as a friend to find closure in the traumatic way we ended things.

[fartingspinster]

Anyway... my darkest moment was 5 years ago when I was trying to move past him and my whole life seemed to be falling apart. And now Im still trying to pick up the pieces to my life but I can see so much growth in me and my accomplishments. I've come so far in every respect, so im so proud of myself and I know im one step closer to an even better spouse for myself. He was a great boyfriend, but we had a lot of differences that he wasn't willing to bridge - eventhough i did.
I want you to know that you will find a partner with that much love if not more. It WILL find you again. You found it once, and you know what it is you want now. You won't settle for anything less

[Simslover92]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and for saying that. That means a lot!

[fartingspinster]

❤️❤️ if I would do it all over again... I dont know if i would tbh ahaha. Because the breakup and the healing was so hard.
But I know, when im further removed from the tortures of the healing process, ill look back fondly at him and the memory together and even the memory of my healing and survivor story.
Because although I didn't travel the world, and I didn't get to experience much in life right now due to sacrifices... I would have experienced so much emotion and I would've truly dove deep in the human experience of emotions.
Not many people can say they experienced a love so beautiful and so tragic at the same time.
Its one for the theater, and its what movies and books are based on - human emotion, love, pain and personal growth.
You have so much life left!! And you already reached that milestone. Its hard to be grateful for it, but i really would be if I were you. You'll be able to truly understand what it means when someone else loves someone dearly, and when someone loses a husband/wife- you'll find yourself understanding it more than ever and you'll be able to really touch them and give them courage without even saying much.

[Simslover92]

That's so true. Thank you again. Your words are so kind and true. I'm not sure if I would do it all over again because it hurts so bad right now but I get what you're saying. Without going through the pain, I would not understand others pain and struggle. And be appreciative of the love that was shared. I have to remember the good times. And hope that there will be more with someone else one day. Thanks again!

[fartingspinster]

You are most welcome! Im glad my words helped - i wish I had someone to remind me of this when I was at a low point.

I would go one step further and say too (although understanding people is nice, im sure you want to feel understood now and cared for now too) that going through this will really help you understand yourself better also. You will learn, or I hope you will learn... all the ways he made you feel loved and all the ways he encouraged you to be a better person... I hope you incorporate that in your own life for yourself from yourself. Be the source of that love, he was just the seed that started it.

I dont know about you, but I wasn't eating well when he and I met and I was struggling to eat more or healthier. I was doing really well with him, but near the end when family pressure was at its highest, i couldnt even stomach food.
When we said our goodbyes, I told him to take care of himself amongst other more specific requests, and he asked me to eat well and to not skip my meals.
After we went no contact, anytime I didn't feel like eating or I skipped a meal - id remember his words and id find the self love and courage to eat. (Literally crying typing this ugh ahaha).
To me - his words and love were so very healing. And I healed him also.

Learning what tender love was from him... I learned to offer it to myself too. And its one of the tings I love about myself the most now. And so I hope you find that inner love that will forever be with you, and soon will be yours entirely even if it started with him.

The pain gets better, but you will still cry over things ahah. Im hoping the tears will be less when my heart meets its final home.

[Simslover92]

It did indeed. I'm tearing up reading this. Truly inspiring. I will definitely take the love that he showed me and put it into myself. And hopefully in time be able to show that love to someone else. ❤

[fartingspinster]

❤️❤️ thank you for being vulnerable with your post. I was able to be vulnerable and share something I dont normally talk to others about anymore. This is the first time I put things into words and it helped me so much as well. 💕

[Simslover92]

You're so welcome. Thank you for being vulnerable with me. I really do appreciate it so much.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim on Girls Ask Guys is to spread love and positivity! So sorry to hear that you’re not feeling great right now. 💔 Relationships can be tricky, especially with heartache involved. The silver lining? You’ve had a love story most dream about! Time will be your best ally, and growth often comes from challenges. You’ll find someone who will make your heart flutter again. Keep that chin up! 😊✨

[ohsheeT]

When you let all that go.. and live love yourself.

You will become and be happier than you have ever been

[ohsheeT]

Um, on the 5 years thing I'm about, the same happer with a better out look about thing

There were highs and lows, and the lows were just a learning experience

[Bricealan]

@Simslover92 I have to agree with you 'sims", but not just in the last 5 years, more like more than 20 years.

I had, what I now look back on as the IDEAL relationship with a girl 4 years younger. I STILL regret letting it slip through my fingers, but yet, talking to a good male friend, he said 'We never know what would have happened to that relationship had it not ended then"

She was the most intimate relationship I have ever had, bar none, and I know I will never have that again.

[Lynx122]

That's a difficult question lol. I'd say I've come a long way but now I'm just facing even bigger challenges. In general I've kept my life smooth not too much up and down but now it's time to take more risks and take a beating. Usually that should happen in your teenage years I guess but I was not ready back then. I'm on a unusual path through life you could say but that doesn't mean I'm gonna avoid the difficult parts.

Anyway I'm sorry about what happened to you.

[Simslover92]

Thank you!

[abc3643]

Well, 5 years ago was the onset of COVID-19. In some ways, I was better, but in other ways, I am better now. I work from home for almost 5 years now all due to COVID. Previously, I was working 1200 miles from home so I was rarely home. At the same time, I had friends and some more sanity. Now, it's crisis after crisis.

[Miristheiss]

I'm not sure. I don't like my job as much. I was working somewhere else 5 years ago. They got rid of my position and let me go with a years paid salary. I don't like my job as much. We had a smaller house and a mortgage 5 years ago. Now we have a bigger home and it is paid off and we love sitting out on our covered deck and hosting people over. I'm not sure. I go back and forth.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm definitely happier :D

Drama Queen is in her best state ever and pursues her dreams and I return to child-free life

it's exciting to plan my future, again :D

[Anonymous]

Love this question! I can say that I’m in a much better place financially now and have regained my confidence back. But when it comes to love… I can’t really say. I’m still with the same man that I’ve been with over the past 5 years, we’ve grown to be much closer to each other but I recently had to deal with his betrayal. I’m still healing, I started getting anxiety/panic attacks but at the same time I feel much more secure in my relationship after the affair weirdly enough.

[KostasKouvalis]

Considering I just lost my best and closest friend in the whole world, definitely not.

I don't regret those 8 years, but I feel the same to an extent. On one hand it's nice to have those fond memories and to have experienced the feeling of being so close and emotionally connected with someone. But on the other hand, it makes it you feel horrible when you lose the person, because you miss all that.

And no, she didn't die

[sage2021]

I get it!!
I was happier 5 years ago because the love of my life was still alive.

RIP Patrick John 🧸💔

[Simslover92]

So sorry for your loss!

[sage2021]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm really sorry about it more than anyone could imagine💔

[Simslover92]

You're welcome. I bet. I know a loss like that must be so hard. Again I'm so so sorry.

[NathanDavis]

2020 was the start of the pandemia no?

I don't think I want to go through something like that again... lol

[TsundereMatrix]

5 years ago I was working in retail and hated my life. Now I’m back to where I was 5 years ago, searching for a job in the field I was in because of mass layoffs caused by multiple strikes within a year in 2023.

[lightbulb27]

Yes, im better in general and shows in health even at older age.


Yes … this stuff hurts. You come out of it and learn and grow and take on new adventures. If you remain in the past that is hell.

[MemeSupreme]

oh 100% life is way better than 5 years ago like night and day

and no it's better to date even if it hurts a lot bc once your future relationships improve due to it. like less mistakes made

[strateguy632]

Now, i advanced in job promotions.

For you, you feel sad for the loss but you had some good times for a time and now just move on to the next.

[Blunky]

Don't know about happier, but I'm certainly in a much better position to really work on myself. I'm no longer wasting effort on lopsided relationships.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m sorry. I felt the same way you do when my first love cheated on me. It gets better. Finding the right person really helps.

[Cormac995]

No, I'm at the lowest point in my life right now for multiple reasons and I'm terrified soon I might have even less.

[andreasderjuengere]

I feel as pissed about this century as I felt 5 years ago.

Nothing ''improves'' - so... as I am and was right, I feel quite happy about being ''right'' - once again :D

[Bklynbadboy12]

Im way happier im sorry your still feeling so bad. Why do you think your having such a hard time and when do you think you'll finally get over him

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I just wish I never would have gotten in a relationship. Then I wouldn't know how it feels to be in pain.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Are you still in pain?

[Simslover92]

I am. But I'll be alright.

[Little_Bumblebee]

2020 was my worst year by far.
I'm much better off now than I was back then

[FunkyMonkee]

YES!! Quite!! I've got a great wife, now and at least SOME things are going much better for me but, others are not.

[Likes2drive]

Yes I think I can I am , I finally have my own house again after not having one for 9 years but this time I’m alone and see my girlfriend every few weeks until things get sorted out on her end

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Yes I'm married to the love of my life and we are trying for a baby

[NicholasRedone]

@Simslover92 significantly happier gratefully 😈😈 devil 😋🫢👀

[worldscolide]

My wife and I are celebrating 12 years together, and 10 years married. Suffice it to say, I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Same but I miss not being someone affected by an abusive relationship and I had never loved someone so much

[Shiprex]

Nope.
A year ago it would have been worse too. 11 years ago yes.

[Shiprex]

As for your situation I think heartache and heartbreak are sometimes the triggers than make you realise you're alive and although at the time it's a total ball ache, it means you learn so much more about yourself and that as long as you have hope there is a light waiting somewhere for you.

[thedirtymike]

Nowhere near. Thought I found the light at the end of the tunnel once. Turned out it was just a candle. Now it feels like I’m still in the tunnel but the worst part is that now the candle has finally burned out.

[Alex-Snow]

For the most part I am. But I worry about the direction the USA is going over the past 2 months

[DrPepper12]

No. The Guillian Barre Syndrome is just constantly fucking with my mind, body & spirit

[Professor-college]

I would say that I am because I just finished getting my degree 6 years ago and now I am finally seeing the fruits of my labor

[Despina6]

Yes cause not in lockdown. 5 years ago we were on lockdown people dying. From virus. Plus living in a country with financial problems.

[rebelkid]

Yes I am because I decided to put me first finally. Not to say I do not take care of my wife, but I ALWAYS catered to her every single need.

[MikeTheGreek1979]

Eh it's ok I work. Get vacation. 5 years go we were on house arrest.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. But I also didn't realize how bad the next 5 years were going to get. Now that I'm starting to come out the other side of it. I'm forever changed. In many ways broken and unfixable. In other way tempered and stronger than ever.

[katiesmuff]

No I think I was more comfortable 5 years ago!

[Nikki1989]

I have been happy for 20+ years.

[4ngelic]

no i'm a lottt less happy

[Anonymous]

Yeah, 5 years ago was lockdown and the 3 weeks to flatter the curve was proved to be a lie

[Anonymous]

complete opposite...

[Lokiion]

About the same

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

No im probably more miserable

[chocolatetwopointo]

I don't know what i did at 11

[msc545]

No, I'm significantly less happy

[Eempriyanka]

Happy and hoping 😁

[itsannalee]

Yes sure

[Anonymous]

No, I'm much unhappier.

[Agape93]

Yeah in a sense

[QuietRunner]

I'll let you know in a year

[elizamichale1]

Yes I am

[CrisboOx]

Roughly, yes.

[MannMitAntworten]

Nope…

[Cyrus000]

Oh for sure!!

[shortster]

About the same

[fish5505_87]

Nope!

[PaleDale]

Nope

[CubaPirate]

Slightly

[eagle1951]

Nooo

[locusteo]

No. I'm effed.

[Anonymous]

No more miserable