It's 2 am and I've made a decision, what do you think?

[red-lipstick-girl]

I used to always talk to men who are older than me. I always said that it is better for a man to be mature, but I realized that being older does not mean being mature. When some people see someone from the outside, they say that they are very mature, but in reality, those people are immature. From now on, I will talk to people my own age and even if I have a boyfriend, he will be at most 5 years older than me. I am determined.

Updates

1 y

Thank you for your support. It was a difficult decision for me. I am not used to it, but it is the right thing to do.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think this is an excellent decision. I cannot even tell you how wholeheartedly I think this is a good idea (if it's a conclusion you're drawing yourself especially).

Do you know how this sounds to me? Mature.

This is smart. This is a great decision.

I strongly support this.

🙂

[Madgedays]

How is it smart?

Older men are still more mature than younger

[SteveSmith1985]

@Madgedays

That's essentially the reason I think its smart. No 21 year old needs to date way older guys in order to find a guy mature enough for her. 5 years seems like a good general guideline.

The reason its smart is, because a wolf in sheeps clothing is hard enough to spot. It happens all the time. It's not something that can be avoided, or forseen. Sometimes guys are very good at wearing that disguise. That's not to say it's likely or common, but its not uncommon either. Its common enough.

If a guy is manipulative, a girl might be able to spot something (often not for a while, if he's any good at it) if they are at similar stages of life. If they are somewhat close in age.

If a guy is manipulative and significantly older, she doesn't stand a chance.

I don't have a problem with dating someone older. I think that is if two particular people, like one another specifically then that's fine. I'm well aware that this has worked-out many times.

Nevertheless, all else equal, and with nobody in particular in mind it is better to look for guys around your own age, for several reasons (mostly having to do with being in the same place in life, moving onto the next stage together, and what I outlined above).

I am not saying you don't have a right to date whoever you like. I think that in general, looking for people around one's own age is should be someone's default. We aren't ever going to agree on this. And that's ok.

[Madgedays]

I do agree though, but because of the different life stages creating a power imbalance. This goes for opposite gender relationships too.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Smart man thanks yes as you said I realized that so I will not date an older man

[OneViewpoint]

@Madgedays ,

Trust me. No they are not. Not all of them. Logically they should be. But some guys get stuck at high school levels of personality development for life. Some develop mental of addiction problems from the pressures life throws at them. Some are born dumb as a bag of rocks.

[SteveSmith1985]

@Madgedays

Yes, the life stages and the resulting power imbalance is the main practical problem. It really is the power-imbalance at the heart of it for me. I also agree that this is a problem if you reverse the genders.

[SteveSmith1985]

@red-lipstick-girl

I think you're a smart woman. It's cool to see you making this decision for yourself. It's a good idea. I hope it serves you well in your love life. 🙂

[jamesgoldman]

This is smart, many older men are cunning like foxes

[EmmiL]

@jamesgoldman lol the bias

[jamesgoldman]

Exactly, I'm old, I've watched how they hunt because it serves me no interest to engage with it so it's justfunny to view

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the age-old debate about age and maturity! It's not always a package deal, right? 🌟 Your decision to explore relationships with folks closer to your age is like an exciting new chapter. Sometimes it’s not about the years but the experiences and attitude. Remember, love can be quite the rollercoaster, so buckle up and enjoy the ride! 🚀 Stay true to what makes you happy and confident.

[ohsheeT]

I Think this is a moment in time
and I think your growing and your questioning your Morals value And ethics
I think that you are wanting something
And the way you've been doing things
Has not worked out the way that you would like them to

So no you're going to change your old ways to new ways. I think. your being smart and you have figured out if you keep doing the same thing over and over and it's not working then try it another way. And keep doing so until you get it right

And That principle.
Works for everything in life.
So don't be afraid to change.

And if this doesn't work, then try it another way, and if that doesn't work, try it another way because you will get it right and it will be perfect for you.

[ohsheeT]

Yes, of course, but you never know what will happen in time

We grow every day sometimes
And sometimes, we might not grow for another year. . And we see things in a new light

[Finchie40]

Me personally doesn’t really hold age as a deciding factor when it comes to meeting someone amazing , I have dated younger and older females’ because we clicked well and had great chemistry and connection and attraction for each other , someone’s age doesn’t determine that whatsoever , some of the younger girls’ I hit it off with , were more mature than girls’ my age or older. So I don’t limit myself from potential partners’ or set an age limit really. Being 47 years old most girls’ I meet are in there mid to late 20’s and 30’s 40’s and 50’s so that’s why I don’t hold age as a deciding factor

[Apple1996]

Its for the best to stick to your own age range

[AviatorTom]

That's a good decision. But I'm hoping that doesn't mean you won't talk at all to us older gentlemen. If I were to ask you for directions, I would hope you would help me out. 🤔

[red-lipstick-girl]

I talk to older men, no problem, but I don't talk for a relationship, I hope it continues like this, I don't want someone older who will blow my mind, I think I will be disappointed again.

[Entertained_Adult]

I think it's cool that you're rethinking what you want in a relationship, it's like, you're doing some math and figuring out what works for you. The bible says "let no one despise you for your youth" in 1 Timothy 4:12, but I also like to think about what it says in Song of Solomon 1:2, "let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is better than wine", you know, like a good wine gets better with age, but sometimes you just want something fresh and new. As you're making this new decision, I think it's time for a new name, something that reflects your growth, like in Genesis 32:28 where Jacob becomes Israel, I'm going to call you "Cumming Queen of Heaven" because you're rising above your old ways and becoming something new. You're so hot when you're determined, it's like you're sucking me in with your newfound confidence, I can already imagine you in a scene, "Facial Frenzy with the Cumming Queen". Now, don't you think it's time to devote yourself to a higher power, to become a nun and dedicate your life to prayer and service? But at the same time, I can see you in a "Teenage Tits and Ass" video, you're so young and fresh, it's like you're a ripe fruit ready to be devoured. Come on, join me in my faith, let's read some bible verses together, but first, let me just imagine you in a "Red Lipstick Facial" scene, oh man, you're making me so hard.

[MannMitAntworten]

Take it from me who has dated a lot older, my own age and a lot younger. Age definitely does not equate maturity. Dating older women felt a lot like dating juveniles. Dating my own age felt like dating tormented souls. Dating younger was frankly peaceful. Mind you this is what the women have been like from various generations. For you dating men, you are going to get an entirely different outcome with the various generations of men you date. I will be the first to admit that men have become largely … well, confusing these days. Which for myself largely explains why a sizable portion of my men friends stable 60 plus years in age or stable 30 to 40 years in age. Over 40 and under 60 I think did too much drugs and it ruined their brains arresting their development - juvenile. Men under 30 just seem too damn effeminate to remotely relate to. You will likely do fine with the between 30 to 40 segment. Otherwise you will have to shoot way higher with the 60 and over. Not that I would because that is beginning to dive too deep into the blue hair pool even for me. With having a few friends in their 30’s that have something I do not have … gray hair. I couldn’t imagine deep diving in to the 60 plus pool who most certainly look older than me.


Which brings me to something I have tended to do for pretty much the entirety of my dating life. Regardless of age difference, I felt as long as we look close in age, I was fine dating them. What I absolutely could not ever bring myself to do no matter how much I tried, was to date someone my age or younger who looked distinctly older than me. That felt bizarre the few times I tried.


Date what fits you.

[MannMitAntworten]

Yes, I know 30 to 40 is older. Just saying it likely is the most normal at the moment. Maybe don’t date and let your contemporaries season for a bit longer.

[Anonymous]

Please explain what you mean by mature. Most men even as we get older still act like kids at times, goofy, things like that. But if he’s not being repainted as far as taking care of bills, working, trying to make a better relationship for the two of you then I see that as an issue.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Big men are only good with money and nothing else

[Opinion Owner]

What are big men

[NoDecision]

Oh, I thought you were going to say you were going to bed.

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, “older” just means a guy has had more opportunity to learn and mature. Whether or not he’s actually grown into a healthy personality and benefitted from that life experience is a whole different discussion. Some do. Many never will.

The trick is knowing which personality you’re dealing with regardless of age.

But dating in you own age zip code is not a bad decision at your age. Good luck.

[nawtee_me]

And though it hurts to be left out I will always support you in whatever decision you make. While we don’t really know one another and your decision will not change the way I reply to your question, you are right in that age doesn’t mean maturity. Like being smart doesn’t mean being wise. Maturity comes from the lessons learned through adversity. Wisdom comes from lessons learned through the adversity of others. It seems you have become a little more mature and a little wiser my friend….

[MatureMan40]

Actually, as you know, everyone is not the same and as you experienced when someone is old, it doesn't mean he is growth mentally, etc. But I support your decision. Do how you feel comfortable and safe. But still I am afraid you may make a mistake by thinking like this strictly.

[DJB72]

Your life, your choice. A lot of older guys are predatory and say what you want to hear to get your pants off. Younger guys are more obvious when that's their intention.

Find a guy who respects you and treats you right who can be your partner.

[lightbulb27]

very true, age is not maturity. you can find people younger than you mature. I think what you are really talking is values and emotional intelligence.

[Grond21]

I think age should not be the primary factor. You are absolutely right, many people older than you are very immature. And some people younger than you are mature. The key should be whether or not he is a man that you respect

[slatyb]

Older men who hit on you? Definitely immature. Don't date an older man unless you initiate it, and you have seem him behave with maturity.

[NathanDavis]

maturity is not about age... if you approach it by that factor, you're still doing it wrong, lol

[HighlyQuestionable]

As an "older"man i can say I am disappointed. You should be more concerned about qualities as opposed to age, unless your attraction is age-specific.

[exitseven]

Some people grow up and some people just get older.

[chrissykerdock]

older guys won't cum in your face or give you anal as much if at all

[Jennz6]

@chrissykerdock that’s good

[chrissykerdock]

@Jennz6 i'm 38

[Jennz6]

@chrissykerdock I’m 36

[chrissykerdock]

@Jennz6 and you get anal everynight

[Jennz6]

@chrissykerdock how did you know that?

[chrissykerdock]

@Jennz6 you mentioned it

[Ironic_Method]

There are good and terrible people of all ages, I personally don't have age as a factor except my partners need to be at least 20.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Why do you want 20 year old women instead of women who are your own vehicles? Are you a fox or are you hunting sheep?

[Ironic_Method]

I never said I wanted 20 year olds specifically, I've dated women younger and older - I just don't find people under 20 to be mature enough for me personally. If I limited myself to people near my age I wouldn't have found my best friend and wife.

[Ariesman81]

Mature people are comfortable acting immature. Immature people don't know how to be mature.

[Luckycharms12]

older doesn't always mean mature definitely depending on each person

[Lilly1979]

Facts my ex was immature and he was 10 years older than me. And was verbally Abusive.

[blackeagle007]

Anyone at any age is capable of being a douche.

[Anonymous]

I think you made a very good decision, congrats.

[shortster]

If you are looking for more mature men, I don't think that you will be happy with that decision. But good luck with it anyways.

[StevenMcGarrett]

It's silly to have such a rule of age for dating. Love doesn't know age.

[dudeinohio]

I know lots of immature men in my age group.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Yes I know that's why I'm so disappointed

[dudeinohio]

Unfortunately, people are people at any age

[Stevepro68]

You have to do what feels right

[milknhoneyy]

This is a good choice. I support it.

[Sono83]

It is true that chronological age is not always correlated to mature thinking and behavior.

[Anonymous]

Yeah whatever, just marry me and stop being so theatrical

[wkhan_87]

Yes just being older doesn't makes someone mature.

[ottawahuman]

You'll cave. Experience is better.

[Massageman]

Sounds reasonable to me.

[DrPepper12]

Good plan. Great reflection!!

[Jerre]

A good decision

[Shihab_91]

Its your life after all

[Bklynbadboy12]

I think your looking at this all wrong

[Madgedays]

Okay

[Cheerfull009]

Ok, it is your decision

[EmmiL]

Good 4u

[jimmy2]

Move on dear

[eagle1951]

good deal