Do men also settle if they can't get who they always wanted?

[Anonymous]

I always hear of our gender settling at some point if they can't be with the man they wanted long ago. It's the same story; the one they wanted wouldn't commit so they get someone else (likely an older man, older than the previous one) before running out of time to have kids.

Do some men settle too? Can there also be cases of men that got married and had kids with another woman (ok so he stills finds her attractive and can love her but never was madly head over heels) because they one they wanted years ago either never reciprocated or rejected him.

No, men rarely ever settle if they're not highly infatuated with her

Yes, men can and have settle... have married when they couldn't get the one

Updates

1 y

I've once heard of a man that married someone else and it was for other reasons, not for passion for deep infatuation. I find that hard to believe. Can that happen too?

Updates

1 y

**not for passion nor deep infatuation

[Lliam]

Yes.
I'd say that it's rare to meet anybody who has every single quality that you desire.
A woman might be a man's vision of the physical ideal. She might be absolutely sexually compatible and rock his world. She might have a personality, mannerisms and values that he adores. She might be someone who he can trust completely. She might make a wonderful wife and life partner? But to find someone who possesses all those qualities is like finding a unicorn.
So he has to choose someone who comes as close as possible and who has the qualities that he finds most valuable.

I had long-term, infatuated, monogamous relationships from the time I was 16.
When I was 36, I met a 30 year old named Petra who was the most amazing woman I had ever met. She was my vision of the feminine ideal physically. She was hypersexual, orgasmic and extremely adept. She rocked my world and made me feel like a sexual god. I also loved everything else about her. She was the first woman I ever fell deeply and completely in love with.
We lived together for almost two years. But as it turned out, for reasons that are complicated and had to do with sexual abuse she suffered as a child, she was battling alcoholism and struggling with self esteem and trust issues. She couldn't bear to confide in me completely.
We couldn't have made it as life-long partners and we wound up separating even though we still loved each other.
I just couldn't take a chance on marrying her.
Being separated from her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced. It took me over a year to pull myself together and move on with life.

My next girlfriend was very pretty. She wasn't as sexually extraordinary as Petra. But we immediately clicked. I loved her intellect and personality, and we had similar values and goals.
After a year long relationship, I realized that I could trust her completely and see myself spending the rest of my life with her.
We got married two years after we met and have been happily married now for going on 29 years. We've had lots of fun and built a wonderful life together. We are best friends and trusted partners. I couldn't ask for a more loving and faithful wife.

I sacrificed the blazing passion I felt for Petra for stability. Did I settle? I don't think so.

Petra died 10 years ago from a sudden medical problem at the age of 55. I never stopped loving her and I will never forget her, but we were not destined to spend the rest of our lives together.

I love my wife dearly. She possesses the qualities that I most needed and desired.

[Vesuvius87]

I agree with your sentence about sacrificing passion for stability. If you feel passion for someone (get to experienced the full initial infatuation/honeymoon period) but they don't have similar goals to you, there is no stability then no matter how much you love them, it wouldn't be enough.
As we get older, we need more than just passion. Within love, there have to be respect, trust, security and stability too.

[Lliam]

@Vesuvius87. Exactly. And deep friendship. It's nice to have someone you can count on no matter what.

[MrOracle]

It's not a straightforward answer. Top 5% guys (the men most women want, and chase) don't settle because they have infinite choices. The often use women for casual sex, but rarely get into relationships, and when they do, it's usually a girl who, in their eyes, has it all. That doesn't necessarily keep them from cheating, though - it doesn't stop women from throwing themselves at them, so they still have tons of opportunity.

Top 5% aside, you have a lot of men who aren't looking for serious relationships at all, for various reasons. For these guys, they don't view relationships as being worth the risks and expectations - they don't see the benefits as being worth the risk/costs.

Other guys DO want relationships, but only if they can find a woman who brings enough value to the relationship. Believe it or not, they're largely NOT basing this on looks, though looks are usually a factor, just not the major one most women think. Instead, they're looking for a woman with good morals & values and with compatible life goals. These are the factors for which they will not settle. They'll often pick a woman who isn't as pretty, or maybe overweight, or maybe older, or may have some other issue that makes them outwardly less desirable, but if they have good morals and values, and have a good attitude, they'll choose that woman and commit to her.

Finally, you have guys who are simps. These guys are desperate for female attention - and most of them are in the bottom half (often the bottom third) on the SMV (social market value) scale, and they know it, so they're willing to take what they can get. These are the guys who will marry a porn star, or a single mom with 3 kids, or a woman 20 years older, or a woman who weighs 280 pounds, or a woman with a three-digit body count. And, yes, they often get used for their money, or get "divorce-raped" in family court, or whatever. Usually, women are "settling" for these guys for short-term gain - using them for their resources - and don't respect these men no matter what they do for her.

The only guys that are likely to offer a REAL relationship are the men in the third paragraph, but again, THESE men largely will settle for looks or age, but will generally NOT settle for things like morals, values, attitudes, promiscuity, or lack of respect. They would rather be single than compromise these things.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"Top 5% guys (the men most women want, and chase) don't settle because they have infinite choices"

Infinite? There aren't that many women worth dating. Maybe 0.001% of the female populace fit the bill. The rest are meh.

[MrOracle]

They aren't trying to date, so that doesn't matter to them. They are just looking for new casual sex partners, often just for a single night. They usually aren't looking to get attached. Occasionally they will "date" a girl for a week or a month if there's something intriguing about her, but it rarely lasts long.

They are happy to bang a 6, and the 6 is usually happy to get banged by that guy, but a 6 is always going to be a one night thing. Then he's on to the next one - sometimes even the same day. I've known a few of these guys, and I have seen how they work and talked to them in detail about it. I've also talked to a bunch of the women they slept with, so I have that perspective too.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Why are you calling those types of guys the top 5%? Players are at the bottom, and the types of women they get are the hoe type, which are also at the bottom.
Of course they get plenty of women, their standards are low af. If I wanted to, I could get laid by hoes whenever I wanted, but why the hell would I wanna do that? Thats loser garbage.

When I think of the top of society, people like Adam Savage come to mind. Dude built an actual working/flying Iron Man suitfrom scratch! He's married and has 2 kids and basically builds and does whatever he wants and gets paid to do it. THAT is top 5%.

Everytime I see anyone who actually has genuine agency in their career, finances, hobbies, skillsets, craftmenships, artistry, etc. They are monogamous, picky, and mentally stable.

[Asker]

@TheSpaceGnome
This basically. Having stability and knowing how to use your opportunities to prosper (or even contribute to the community) is actually the real example of someone on top.

[MrOracle]

@TheSpaceGnome The simple fact is that very few women value men that way. Many SAY that they do, and some really believe that they do, but they will pick the Chad every time, and if not the Chad, then the drug dealer or violent felon. You can't listen to what women say, you have to look at what they actually DO, because for most women, they are completely different.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@MrOracle "The simple fact is that very few women value men that way."

Yes but... the women who don't are not of value, so we aren't going to pick them.

Also the top 5% aren't "chads".

The top 5% are nerds. Nerds rule the world dude, we invent and build everything everyone relies on (be it for survival, emergency, hobby, luxury, education, communication, entertainment, utility, arts, etc. ), there is no higher level of success than agency, talent, skill, and luxury, and nerds have the most of that.

Chads are at the bottom. The drug dealer and violent felon being mentioned is just more proof of my point, they are also at the bottom (even moreso).

Why would any successful guy pick any of these idiot women, let alone compete for them, or *gags* want more than one of them?

The idea that a guy is in the top 5% and he settles for a sea of undesirable women instead of a woman who is also in what he views as top a 5%, doesn't make any sense. Those are the women losers settle for.

Anyone smart enough to have everything they want in life isn't going to settle on anything, not on a house, not on a career, not hobbies, not products, and not on a woman.

I know you think that the better off a guy is doing, the more options he has, but its actually the reverse.

The better of a catch he is, the pickier he is, the higher his standards are, the more niche he is.

He is going to need a paid team of experts to find himself a compatible perfect (in his eyes) woman. Why? because "best" is subjective, but being smart isn't.

There are very few geniuses in the world, but make no mistake, thats the very top of society. What anyone likes physically is going to be subjective, and to an extent, has its plasticity.

But you can't fix stupid, you can't change your ability to tolerate an idiot or an annoying person, you can't turn off the craving to have someone to relate to and be loved by.

Its very lonely at the top.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Asker Yup :)

[MrOracle]

@TheSpaceGnome You and I might think that way, but most women DO NOT. And when you make a generalization, you have to speak to the majority, not the exception.

Most women will chase Chads as long as they're still able to get their attention (via whatever means possible). Of COURSE these aren't going to be the good men - they're TERRIBLE at relationships and most don't do relationships at all. That doesn't change the fact that this is who women chase. And many women would much rather be a Chad's side piece than be in a committed relationship with a reliable, trustworthy man, because the good man is BORING to them.

Most women (and, obviously there are exceptions) under 40 are obsessed with image and lifestyle, and despite what they may SAY, their behavior proves that they put little value in morals morals and values. There's a TikTok trend of women "explaining" to other women that "it's okay to leave a good man" when you are bored. They don't *quite* say that they need and crave the drama and chaos of a Chad - constantly wondering where he is, and who he's with, and what he's doing, etc. - but they find a trustworthy man boring, and mostly just ignore them, but if they DO get into a relationship with them, they so often either cheat or leave him because they crave the drama and the excitement that comes with the danger of a chaotic man.

You will never understand women if you are projecting your own values onto them. Again, I'm talking the majority; I know there are good women out there, because I found one. But those are the exception, not the rule today.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@MrOracle You aren't understanding what I typed if thats your response.
5% isn't a majority, its a minority.
Also again it doesn't matter what most women think, this is me declaring that a tiny minority of people (aka the top 5%) prefer matches on their own level (other 5%ers) and reject the majority (aka the women you say want chads).

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm also declaring that the chads are not in the top 5%, but nerds are.
This isn't an opinion piece, the richest, most successful, most poweful, most free men alive, are almost entirely comprised of nerds, save a few old geezers who own banks.

[MrOracle]

@TheSpaceGnome Again, you and I agree that the "real" top 5% of men are mostly nerds, but that's not how women think. Very few women are dumping their boyfriends to be the sidepiece of Bill Gates or Elon Musk or Larry Ellison. They DO dump their boyfriends for Chads, though. Of COURSE the Chad doesn't really care about her, and won't keep her around very long, and certainly won't commit to her, but she still chases him anyway.

You're talking about what women SHOULD do (and I agree), but I'm talking about what women ACTUALLY do. Most modern women today chase a fantasy that they'll never obtain, and end up with little or nothing in the end. It's a terrible strategy, but they keep doing it.

[Vesuvius87]

I wouldn't call it settling. I would call it doing a better vetting process as you get older. You're not going to be in your teens or early 20's forever, believing you can live out of infatuation, love songs and passion for decades without even knowing if the person is even compatible to you in other areas besides the bedroom. Besides the initial physical attraction, why do you want to be in a relationship or marry them?

If you can't give an accurate answer other than just ''oh I'm just in love with them'' (but what do you love about them, what traits you like about them) and nothing else, it won't work out. Similarly, you can't just buy a cell phone just because it's cute and you're in love with the brand, without even knowing its usage, lenses, capacity, features, speed, security, storage, etc.

While my marriage didn't really had the initial infatuation period (the highs were you see them as perfect and only think the physical aspect, nothing else) , that got replaced by love, deep bonding, stability, respect, trust and security. I wouldn't trade that for mere passion that's short-lived.

[Sugar100]

I’m confused becuase people say true love is Two people liking eachOther and two people loving eachOther.

I never met a guy where love is mutual.

im 27 and not married and want kids. I might need settle at age 29/30 to a guy I don’t like.
the guys I’ve loved don’t love me back or don’t want be my boyfriend. It’s never mutual. And no it’s not guys out of my league either.

but I thought a first boyfriend was two people liking eachOther. Maybe my wedding will need be forced one sided love and guy happy and not me?

[blackeagle007]

Why settle? You won’t be happy

[Sugar100]

@blackeagle007 but i never meet a guy that loves me back. It’s just one sided love I like guy and he don’t. I still never had a serious relationship wehre a guy wants call me his girlfriend and meet parents and live with me. I cannot find a guy for me

[blackeagle007]

For what it’s worth I can’t find mural attraction with women. Those I’ve dated play childish games. But I’m still not gonna settle. Imagine bringing in a society when your family arranges marriages for you. I wouldn’t that

[blackeagle007]

Being

[Asker]

I think you could look for someone you like, that also has similar interests. That way it isn't just physical attraction but compatibility too.

[blackeagle007]

You’re right, it’s many things. Like minded is key

[AI Opinion]

Sure, let's dive into this spicy realm of hearts! 😉 Your question is like a flirty wink at one of life's great mysteries. Yes, men can indeed settle too. Love is a rollercoaster with no safety bars, and sometimes, when that unrequited love stays unrequited, men also find themselves in relationships that might not have initially been their ultimate dream.

It might involve a blend of attraction and admiration, just not the fireworks. With a sprinkle of maturity, they learn to appreciate the connection and companionship over the idealized oomph. So, in a world of ghosting and lovebombing, settling isn't just a women's game. It's more like, why play with your heart when you can have someone fabulous stand by your side? 😄💘

[Summeroflove]

People settle and it’s mostly dark personalities who think this way most people who see themselves as settling for someone will almost never admit that to someone. People who make genuine connections even if someone’s a second option if they fall in love they fall genuinely in love.

People who are narcissistic at best don’t feel that way and don’t create genuine connections. It doesn’t matter if someone’s male or female they will find someone at least for the time being who meets certain wants and needs for now. They will become resentful of someone as well as eventually discard someone. They will make them feel as if they genuinely are attracted even if they are not.

So you need to be aware of those people who are out there. They only love someone for what they can do for them, for how you make them feel, for how you make them look in front of others, and other materialistic as well as superficial reasons.

Yes, some people simply become desperate. But most genuinely good people number one just can’t use someone else. Number two they feel disgusted by even the thought of being with someone they aren’t genuinely building a connection with. Dark personalities have another operating system entirely.

Not all women and not all men do this. But both sexes who are genuine people need to be aware of it happening. Because it can happen to you. Someone could act as if they are genuinely attractive and use you.

[Asker]

Yeah it's about building connection and working as a team, even if they're not your first option. That takes real commitment and maturity.

[Summeroflove]

Yes asker. When genuine connections and building with someone are made. They aren’t seen as a second option. Someone who still sees someone as secondary will probably end up leaving someone for better and worse cheat.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are always different feelings for your first love interest. Many people retain some fantasies about eventually reconnecting with their first love, but most of us grow to understand that reuniting would be a train wreck. We use our earlier experiences to get better ideas about what we want and what we don't want. I STILL occasionally think about the girl I liked in high school, and that was 54 years ago. . . and she lives close to me and is single, but I never seriously contemplated trying to reconnect with her.

But some people haven't accepted that the past is gone, and they still want their first love. Those people should remain single. "Settling" and marrying someone when you would rather be with someone else is HORRIBLY cruel and unfair to your new partner.

[Asker]

Though if that first love interest was a truly bad experience or they were an awful person, it's easier to get over them and that fantasy is quickly replaced the reality, esp if you had to block them.

[Asker]

but yeah is bad to still be living in your fantasies and continue thinking about the past partner if you're already in a new relationship. The past should be left in the past.

[OlderAndWiser]

“The past should be left in the past.” Easier said than done.

[Asker]

But then it's not doing you any favors if for instance, you want to form a family.
How would staying single and fantasizing about a past partner or someone that never reciprocated help you get closer to your goal?

[Asker]

That would be a point where the person has to move on.

[sawno]

I haven't settled so far. I always had the idea in mind that I want to love a girl so much that I won't leave her for anyone. I've been with a girl who fit that bar and it was incredible. But I always ask myself, if someone else comes along will I leave? The honest answer if I settle is yes. I'd be crazy not to leave when my true match comes along, and that's not fair to her so I don't do it. But with my last relationship it would not have mattered how special a new girl is or how perfect because I already was with someone on that level of special and whoever would come in would not have the bond and history.

It makes finding the right girl a lot more difficult, but I had that fairytale relationship once and I don't think i'd be happy settling for less.

[Asker]

It would be better finding the right girl that you're compatible with, one that you also have similar goals and values. I think no relationship is really like fairytales. It might be closer to it but having everything (literally everything) you've ever asked for is hard.

[sawno]

Compatible with similar goals and values is already super hard.

[Asker]

True. Though if you go for only feelings (they make you feel good and you're falling in love) and passion, that tends to lead towards a break-up once all that fades, you guys have too much differences and arguments start.

[Asker]

Falling in love really isn't enough and it's not a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

[sawno]

Only feelings I never do, I know how not to be love blind. I want a true match, not a placebo.

[Gaylordslav]

women dont settle the finally get with their equals, during their peak years 18-30 they were having sex with the guys they wanted and rejected those that they felt were beneath them. But the guys she was getting bent by never saw her as wifey just a easy fuck that he kept close. The former promiscuous slut will never be fulfilled in life, she will either remain single chasing the men of her youth, divorced (potentially many times) due to being unsatisfied with her partner or being a cheating spouse.

[Makeushiver]

No one will want to admit to themselves or others that they "settled". Often early in relationships infatuation can cover a lot of problems. Everyone, however, settles. It's part of the human experience and philosophers have said, "You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need".

[Asker]

I think like someone else here mentioned, as you get older just wanting to feel the highs in the relationship (infatuation) gets old too fast and then it's a waste of time when you realize just being in love isn't enough if you don't know who you're dealing with at all.

[Kelley1]

Everyone settles for who they can get or else they do without.

[Asker]

Pretty much it. Life isn't really about ''and they live happily everafter'' fairytales where they are infatuated for decades.

[Gwendoline]

I think men when they find a girl they love and believe to be a good potential wife will settle down with her while most women will do the opposite looking for greener fields.

[V1ka5h]

Yes it happens but sometimes a true lover can't forget her and always stay with her thoughts and I feel sad for those person whose girlfriend dies and they do everything, achieve everything but don't marry... really love those guys hats off to their love for them

[Asker]

Those are the only cases I feel bad about, when the past partner actually died. For instance, it must've been harder for Chris Perez when his first love, Selena Quintanilla (his wife and the former Texas singer) got murdered by her friend. She didn't just died... she got murdered in her prime. Then even though he eventually got remarried and had kids, his next marriage didn't last.

[drummerdude25]

If I can’t be with someone I want to be with, I’m staying single.

[slatyb]

Both men and women settle, and often come to regret it. If you can't love someone entirely, don't marry them and spend your life wishing for something else.

[Asker]

True. I think at some point, those that settled likely get tired of dating for too long.

[NicholasRedone]

Countless men I've seen settle far older than me 😭👀😅 and I think it sucks to be them lol 💍

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In a relationship if you think about it we all settle, two people settle for each other & the only time you don’t settle is when you are single.

[Asker]

Interesting. Yeah, otherwise everyone would've already married and had kids with their first. Most don't.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life you should never settle for less than the best & in a relationship if you think about it there is always someone better out there however no one is perfect & everyone deserves a chance. In life I always say if you never try you will never know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all. In life if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them & in life if you snooze you lose.

[RavVid]

Pretty much it is always a mature compromise. I would hope I see the value a nice girl offers even though she is not as hot as other girls. You want one you can live with.

[Asker]

yeah looks and passion fade faster than actual love, maturity and compatibility

[RavVid]

Entirely. It doesn't make much sense to choose a life partner on beauty.

Back in Cleopatra's day though most guy's didn't outlive their 20's. It made more sense to choose a pretty girl back then.

[Anonymous]

Girl move on lol 😆. No the man you want didn't settle he's with the woman he wants. If he wanted you he would've been with you but he's not. Ladies you've gotta learn that men operate through actions.

[Rosexøxø]

Can you elaborate a tiny bit more on operate through actions. I don't know if I misunderstood

[Asker]

This isn't about me. It's just a general question.

[Opinion Owner]

It's another u

[Fireguy17]

I can only speak for myself, but I have never settled for anyone.
I do not mind being single until the right person comes along, otherwise I don't see it working out well in the long term.

[DreamCrescent]

are you in a relationship?

[Fireguy17]

@DreamCrescent married, so I guess that counts as in a relationship.

[DreamCrescent]

cool cool. married but never settled in like that

[Asker]

Yup, it counts as a full committed relationship, congrats

[Fireguy17]

thanks.
We both knew when we met. I just took a while to be sure.
It wasn't like either one of us were going anywhere.
I proposed on a cruise, I wish I would have had the ships photographer hiding, but the next day was a sea day, so she couldn't tell anyone about it for about a day and a half.
It was great!

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I'm sure there's some men who do. It really is best to not settle though, sometimes finding someone you love takes time, even a lot of time.

[Asker]

Yeah it's one thing to still have some attraction (they don't have to be a 10/10... just good enough to develop a relationship) and also similar goals vs someone you really never wanted.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's just kind of the nature of being a man that we sort of have to settle, no matter what.

We don't think of it as settling, but that is kind of what it is.

[Asker]

The other option would be staying single forever, fantasizing about the girl he couldn't get. That ain't going to get him a family if he really wants kids at some point.

[ProbablyClueless]

That's kind of the way I see it too. And I think it's especially dangerous if you never quite make the mental connection that your fantasy perception of someone isn't who they actually are.

My dream girl in high school was a beautiful lady (and still is, honestly). But her personality, her behavior, and just generally the way she carries herself, all kinda suck. The person she really is isn't my dream girl at all. My fantasy of her was, though. So, is everyone I'm attracted to after her just me "settling?" How could anyone compete with a fantasy?

I still think that we had enough in common that we could have made a decent couple, if she were interested. But she wasn't. And honestly, the way my life has worked out, I'm not sure that I would have been better off if we had dated.

[molonski2]

Absolutely they do , 80% of the poll are correct.

[Asker]

Interesting

[WonderingManII]

You know, time always moves forward, and we keep getting older and older. At some point you got to settle or have nothing at all.

[Asker]

yeah, as we get older we can't really ask for too much either

[WhiteThought]

Men typically get what they can get. Women have an overabundance of options.

[Asker]

But if the options for her are lots of boyfriend who just want to live together but no kids nor marriage, meanwhile she's looking for a keeper, those aren't really abundant options.

[Anonymous]

I'd say that depends on what you regard as settling.

I'm guessing just by the way you asked this question you have an inferiority complex. So to you it probably would seem like settling.

[Asker]

With settling, I meant he finds someone that's still attraction. Ok so she might not be the cutest woman ever, but acceptable. She might not be very thin either but ok. She might be average in looks but he starts searching for other qualities such as those needed to be a good mother, family oriented, etc. There might not even be an initial infatuation period where he's overwhelmed by passion and lust but he comes to caring and loving her, so marries her and has kids.

[Opinion Owner]

But I would argue that that is not settling, but rather maturing and realizing the BEST woman isn't the most attractive.

[BobbyLee789]

Yes, and then they're incomplete for the rest of their lives. It's important to wait for that special someone, shouldn't be impatient.

[Asker]

Yeah that's the issue. Someone don't want to wait for too long because they probably don't want to be too old when having kids.

[BobbyLee789]

That's exactly what happened to me.

[WhitneySnow]

Sure. It happens.

[Asker]

True

[Vegasrunner]

Men usually settle. Most men end up marrying down.

[Asker]

I thought it was kind of even when it comes to settling. It's hard getting everything you ever wanted in life.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker it's definitely not. I always wonder why girls struggle to understand this. Men approach women meaning that most women can invest nothing and still have options whereas men must invest a lot of time just to get a fraction of options. Common sense means that men are going to be more likely to settle, simply because they have less options.

[LiamS95]

Interesting topic. I might end up being the guy you're talking about. Please dm me to talk more about it.

[blackeagle007]

Why is the divorce rate high in the U. S. A? One answer- Settling

[Vesuvius87]

Or could it also be because several people just get into a relationship that's purely infatuation/passion based. It tells nothing about the person's traits, like-minded goals and if they're even compatible to you besides being in love. Basically they failed to do a vetting process.
Love, stability and security is way better than something base on just passion.

[blackeagle007]

@Vesuvius87 even with all that, is there any guarantee a loving relationship will work? This and divorces happen all the time. I feel people quickly rush into things. We all want true love now but is it worth a high cost? Communication lacking maybe by the way halves?

[Vesuvius87]

If communication, mutual respect and trust are lacking, then any relationship would fail. It's that some people don't want to put the work into it as a team. True love is about accepting responsibilities too.

[blackeagle007]

@Vesuvius87 accountability! That’s a key. And no side will ever except it. It’s the blame game

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. Anyone wants true love. How many times we hear ''I want, I want, I want''? Many times. Anyone can want. Wanting something is different than accountability and really committing.

[PaleDale]

Yes, and it's not always a good decision. It doesn't always lead to happy partnerships.

[Asker]

True. Both would have to put the work into it and commit in the end in order for everything to work out.

[Bugchugo]

Men do that a lot. That's why they get called simps.

[Anonymous]

Some men who are desperate can usually settle.

Not me, if I can't be with the girl I like, I'll rather be single.

[Flower7]

I feel like men settle more often than women do.

[Nikki1989]

Most people settle eventually.

[Asker]

Hence why more people are nowadays marrying later than in the past.

[jahaims]

It depends on the individual not gender

[Asker]

yeah. From what I've heard, some of those people are looking to form a family and they don't want to be too old either.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'd sooner die a virgin than ever settle.

[Asker]

that's brave.. not settling for less even if it means being a virgin

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not really.
Porn and sex dolls/robots exists.

The only reason to have a sexual partner (when you don't want any kids), is the mental companionship.

If I settle, its either physical (in which case I won't be getting off, thus making it pointless), or its mental (in which case she will annoy the shit out of me until we break up). Making either a worthless route to go. Also I'll have, at that point, lost a lot of my value (since I wouldn't be a virgin anymore).

Even worse if it results in a pregnancy and I get single dad status dooming me to staying in contact with an ex (and never being able to date/marry ever again because of it).

If you ask me, its the loose people who have care-free sex who are stupidly brave.
You only have your view because you expect a relationship that involves settling to work out.

It would never work out, its a 100% chance of failure as I'd never be able to tolerate it. So I can either be picky and find the perfect woman for me, or I can be alone.

There is no third option.

[Sluttt]

Why not life is shit.

[Asker]

yeah life isn't about forever being infatuated with someone

[LiamJHayden]

Almost everyone settles.

[Anonymous]

Of course, men settle more than women do.

[Asker]

I thought it was about even.

[Jmmmfi4]

Definitely

[Vick2828]

Not me

[Asker]

Great