What would you do if your partner told you they won’t have sex with you because you gained some weight?

Question

Would you dump them, cheat on them or lose wight to appease them , or get fatter? I would cheat on them then dump them for being such assholes. . Call me evil , but the way I look at it is they deserve it , by saying shit like that to you to begin with. People that fat shame other people , honestly need their fucking ass kicked in my opinion , so cheating on them is the next best thing to do so you won’t go to jail for fucking them up lol what would you do?

Levin · Accepted Answer

Well, there are different cultural standards in the rest of the world.

South East Asian women are often still lovely and slim. Meanwhile, in the US, 40% are obese, 2/3 are overweight. Maybe we need more shame in the Western world. Do you think it's a trivial issue that people destroy their health, get heart disease, a whole raft of other diseases, die early?

So what is your complaint? That you want to let yourself go. Eat shit all day and never do any exercise?

Now I don't agree with fat shaming. But I think robust conversations are necessary in any relationship. What are the underlying issues for her. Is she unhappy with herself etc? Then we could try and figure out together. I'm not attracted to people are overweight and after a certain point I would struggle to perform, or simply be uninterested in sex. Lifestyle compatibility is important in any relationship. If I eat well, and work out for 2 hours, 4x a week, it's not going to work to see someone sit on their arse and eat Dominoes in front of the TV, is it?

So I reiterate, no one should fat shame because that is going to ruin the fragile sense of connection in the relationship. But if she doesn't take care of herself that has a big impact for the long term health of the relationship.

Hal2002 · Accepted Answer

I do not mind a thick girl, I do have a problem with a girl getting fat and sloppy. I am friendly with a girl that used to be a size 2, over the years she has put on the pounds. Her walking to the bathroom, and returning. The sound of her breathing, is sickening. I can understand why her ex stopped having sex with her, and than left her when she refused to do something about her weight.

Being a few pounds over weight is not a problem, being so over weight that just moving has access skin slapping together and your breathing sounding like air escaping bellows is not sexy.

Body positivity sure, but there is nothing positive about being so over weight that it endangers your health.

Crimsyjo · Accepted Answer

It's definitely a tricky situation because both people have rights in a relationship. Not to be shamed or loved with conditions like this. But at the same time if it's effecting attraction in the other persons heart they can't really just switch off that feeling either. So it's really more down to how they tell you - with compassion and care - ans if it's a lot of weight then acceptance that maybe they are right and accept help to change.

Communication is always key no matter what. Cheating is never the answer and kind of selfish. More so even than their comments (which don't lack truth just lack consideration maybe).

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

I would exercise by going jogging for an hour each day, five days a week, to lose weight. He promised to love and honor me for better or worse, not through thick or thin. Therefore, since I failed in my duty, I would do what is necessary to fulfill my obligation to lose weight.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Hey, love! 🌟 Wow, that's quite a dilemma you've got there! Communication is key in relationships, you know. If a partner's fat-shaming, it's a major red flag flying high. If I were you, I'd have an honest convo about feelings and boundaries. Relationships are about support, not shaming. You deserve someone who loves every part of you. As tempting as it is to retaliate, focusing on self-love might be the way to go. Sending good vibes your way! 💕

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would look at myself to see if I really needed to lose weight.

JackCarter · Answer

I'm not engaging with that hypotetical

Jove79 · Answer

That’s probably a very common situation. I have a friend who gained 100lbs, and his wife talks crap about his weight and him getting too big. I’m pretty sure it’s caused issues with their sex life.

I don't know what id do.. if it was a huge issue and they stopped liking me physically and I was not for them anymore, it’s time to break it off. Because it should be the opposite.. your significant other should talk to the other about it, and change together to work on the issues together.. not put someone else down and make them feel bad.

I would not cheat on them for that. Because if I was with someone who gained weight and I didn’t like the extra lbs, I wouldn’t want her to cheat.. so why do something id hate done to me

OneViewpoint · Answer

Wow, so other people don't have the right to opinions and preferences? A woman who signed up for a fit guy can't change her mind when you bloat up like a walrus? That's "fat shaming" rather than pointing out reality? You quit on her but she's supposed to adhere to the original contract. Nope!

Sorry but if I started out dating a trim fit 115 lb woman and 2 years later she was 200 lbs. I would be outta there like a rocket. With no apologies. No discussion. She's an adult. She chose to quit on me. I choose to leave.

strateguy632 · Answer

A compromise can be the position called cowgirl so my weight is not on her.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Love is a wonderful thing & sometimes over time love can change. As for my partner if she told me she wouldn’t have sex with me if I gained weight I would have a little fun & cook up a good plan. As for me I would hit the gym, start working out, lose the weight, gain muscle & have a better body than ever. I would also get a new fresh haircut, new clothes & after that I would break up with her & make up a story & tell her you made love to her best friend.

SotiCoto · Answer

Wouldn't ever happen.
#1. Don't have a partner and have no intention of ever getting another.
#2. I only ever liked heavier women anyway, and 100% of them were entirely too caught up on their own appearance to dare criticise anyone else's weight.

Sal_Monella · Answer

Let her know this dishonors her vows. Nothing more for now.
No kids? Immediately begin planning my exit. Money, assets, valued possessions.
Plan my exit for an unexpected time. Go to an already set up unknown location. Set up my departure for my work vacation.

Kids will take more planning.

NordicInScandinavia · Answer

I would leave them. Can't promise staying the same size forever. But now my man dated me when I was fat, stayed with me as I got even fatter and partly got sad when I started losing weight because I was finally getting a proper ass, so I'm not worried about this scenario.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Dump their immature ass.  It directly shames their partner's body and implies that their worth or desirability is contingent on physical appearance.

sage2021 · Answer

Believe it or not some people aren't bothered when their partners looks changed because they didn't love them for their looks to begin with. They fell in love with who they were on the inside.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I would  wait for the nightmare to end , because, realistically speaking, there is not a single chance I would hear that statement from any past, present or future lover lol. Because I didn't really gain weight for the past 30 years, and because I fall in love with girls who have no reason to view me, or sex, as something related to bodies disconnected from a spirit. And I return the favor, instinctively.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

Leave them its rude and they def aren't your soul mate I've gained probably 60 pounds in the 5 years of knowing my husband and he's not once said anything about it I've gone on diets and he tells me it my choice and he will love me no matter what

Josey29 · Answer

A girlfriend or boyfriend should never complain about their partner's weight... that's messed up!

Staximus · Answer

I haven't had a girlfriend or gained much weight in a while, but you never know. After I get a hernia and shoulder surgery I will be more active and probably start eating more, and won't have to worry about fucking my way into the hospital

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I'd lose weight on their dime and then dump them.

beenherebefore · Answer

I don't think cheating is the solution. It's important for me that my partner stays attracted to be so I try to stay in shape and look good for my partner. I probably wouldn't be attracted if my partner gained weight I don't think that's fat shaming.

contentious · Answer

Lose some weight and then say I won't have sex with you because I lost some weight.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I'd lose weight no one wants to have sex with a lard ass and no one wants to be one.

SamWinchester058 · Answer

I think your spouse should endeavor to respect themselves physically and mentally. Not only for themselves but you as well. Marriage is long and difficult enough without one spouse throwing in the towel and quitting taking care of themselves.

conanbdetective · Answer

It depends to what degree was the weight gain AND was it avoidable?

Some people gotta check themselves and see if "witholdiing sex" is a ploy for inducing drama and anxiety or a partner who's concerned.

exitseven · Answer

If it was true and I was starting to get fat I would spend more time at the gym.

Astrocake · Answer

I would thank them, for letting me know how they feel and then I would dump them. I would appreciate the honesty, but I would definitely leave because if I loved how I look then what they feel is not important and it’s hindering me from finding someone who will love me for how I look. It depends on how you value the relationship if you need the validation that much then stay with them but me personally I would leave.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Saying shit like that doesn't come without a lot of other insured baggage.

fivebyfour · Answer

They wouldn't be my partner after saying something like that,,,

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Not a very good relationship if that’s the kind of ultimatum you give each other…

NathanDavis · Answer

if I ever reached to that point of carelessness... then I would definitely get some help

Geo1970 · Answer

If I love the woman so much, then I would take All steps necessary to shift the weight and hopefully then be more pleasing on her eye.

chrissykerdock · Answer

find a girl to give you blowjobs

Anonymous · Answer

Meh, I'm single, always have been, at least I don't have to worry about gaining some weight.

Anonymous · Answer

Lose the weight and then dump them.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

well would u date a fat woman?

Godihateyou · Answer

Id kill them

Anonymous · Answer

get fatter

Priya99999 · Answer

Stay pure 😌

What would you do if your partner told you they won’t have sex with you because you gained some weight?

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What would you do if your partner told you they won’t have sex with you because you gained some weight?

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