Why Is The Other Woman Blamed More Than The Other Man In Case Of Cheating?

Question

so i was wondering why in cases of infidelity where partners cheat, there's heavy gender discrimination. if a guy cheats, the other woman is called evil temptress and a couple of other demeaning names.

But if in a relationship a woman cheats, separate case here, then she's called promiscuous and the guy she cheated with is often not seen as the culprit bc she "let him"

Why

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

The idea of a homewrecker comes from sexism towards women. That men used to apply back in the past to excuse their behavior and still do I suppose. And women got gaslighted to believe that.
Him 'Oh I wouldn't of cheated if she wasn't a better woman than you.' her 'So she's the slut! who took you away from me!' And tbf the opposite happens too.
For example 'Well I would never of got with him if you made more money or ya know could satisfy me' though guys don't get gaslighted as easy? So we just think 'What a bitch.' and some girls say 'What a bastard' and don't blame the other either but they typically blame both...

Why guys don't get gaslighted as easy? I think that's just due to how we have been the natural dominant role throughout history, and women were made to be submissive. So yeah sexism just answers this question. Internalized sexism.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Accepted Answer

The reasons can be chalked up to two - misogyny; and wanting to somewhat "excuse" the cheating guy. If the fault lies solely within the other woman, then the wife/girlfriend can avoid placing blame on herself for ignoring the signals, red flags and suspects.

Genie23 · Answer

Because of misogyny. Times might have changed, years have passed but many people's mentality didn't change.

Gwendoline · Answer

I don't believe that to be the case in fact today women whether the cheat themselves or knowingly sleep with a married man are largely held unaccountable by soceity.

Now the wife or girlfriend of the man she sleeps may feel different because after all its her home/relationship that's got wrecked and the other woman knowingly doing it knew what she was doing with the man and that maybe there was children involved and didn't care about those she was hurting. If its the other way around the man especially historically might actually murder the other man in a fit of jealous rage.

I had a friend who began an affair with a married man who left his wife and kids for her, the woman was pleading with my friend not to break up her family and to move on. My friend said she was crazy and needed to move on. I dropped her as a friend, I didn't shame her or argue with her but I just distanced myself. A person that like that can't be trusted on any level.

I think ultimately if you choose to be the other woman you have to take the shame that comes with it.

Anonymous · Answer

In America, it can be a mixed bag.

I know in India there is heavy stigma from one of my friends.
A woman in a village or something had a husband cheat on her, they demonized her as a ‘temptress’ and a ‘whore’ which is totally wrong as the guy who did the sinful act got off free….

Where I come from, the man is a no good swindler and a**hole regardless of reason he cheated or whatever and the woman is hailed a victim above all else.

Other places in America, she must’ve been harsh / a domestic abuser to cause him to cheat.

Like I don't know, I believe cheating is wrong and there should be ‘calling it out’ as a bad behavior that breaks hearts, you should just breakup with her if you no longer feel special feelings instead of doing this heinous deed… Also we should be open to, people can change for the better realizing their mistake and course correcting so they don’t hurt another they care deeply about or at least used to.

We should also be open to analyzing each case on individual basis instead of jumping to the idea it was the woman or the man. Some people out of spite will cheat on a cheater just to show them how it feels, others cheat because they aren’t getting what they want out of the relationship (being supported, loved, and appreciated).
Others cheat because they want sexual thrill and ‘feeling of being caught’ excites, arouses, and makes them want to take risks.

SotiCoto · Answer

You have perspective bias to some extent. You identify negativity against women more than negativity against men presumably because the former relates to you personally, which makes you more aware of it.
THAT SAID... there is biological precedent behind what you're asking here.
I'll put it this way:

When men cheat on women, subconsciously they want ADDITIONAL women.
When women cheat on men, subconsciously they want A BETTER man.

What this tends to mean in practice is that when men cheat, they haven't rejected their original partner. They're subconsciously driven to accept multiple women. When women cheat, they are subconsciously casting aside the one they're cheating on or relegating him to lower social status. Unlike male cheating, female cheating is an actual rejection of the partner they're with.

This is just how it tends to go and individual differences may vary... but typically a male (of any species) has lower reproductive investment than a female does. A man can physically service multiple women in a reproductive context without it being a personal detriment (though this is socially taboo). Women though... they get knocked up once and they're invested for at least 9 months (traditionally), so it is in their best interests to get the best partner they can to invest in. One woman does not need more than one man.
There is also another compound factor: Obviously a woman does not need for her man to have other women. His instincts aren't in her best interests, after all, and if she has made the best choice she can then she doesn't want to share it. And obviously a man doesn't want his woman near other men, because that isn't in his best interests either. SO while the actual motivations and subconscious attitudes regarding why people of different genders cheat, the reaction to it by the one being cheated on will tend to be equal.

Anyway... hope that clears things up, though it probably won't be read in its entirety.

FreyaRed · Answer

Because most girls see man as some kind of asset. If he jumps in other woman's bed it's not his fault because he seem to have no control over himself in opinion of many women but her fault because she lured him. It's psychologically explainable, those women who have been cheated consider men who cheated on them as inferior in some kind and girls they cheated with as competition. The question, maybe he cheated because she has been incapable to offer men satisfying and affectionate intimacy never appears or will be derailed or silenced in milliseconds.

petitedollbabee · Answer

I’ve always believed that women do it because they already didn’t have any trust in their man and they knew that he was going to cheat, but rather than accept his behaviour and accept their own stupidity in staying with him, they’d rather direct the blame and anger towards anyone else - usually the other woman involved.

BadApple69 · Answer

So when a man cheats the girlfriend/wife wants to believe her man would never do that unless he was tempted by an evil temptress. Because her man would never do that to her.
When a woman cheats it’s because she was stupid and some man conned her into putting out. This is not really the case but it’s a belief. No man wants to think there is a better man out there and. I woman wants to think there is a better woman.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

It comes from the fact that people see us as the gate keepers of sex.. We are the ones with the responsibility to not let filthy dogs cross through.. because a dog will always go to the scent of blood.

DangerouslyCute · Answer

definitely it isn't the case where I live... here the only person that is guilty is a person who is the relationship and cheats

shortster · Answer

It is said that women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to relationships. So my guess would be something to do with that? Now the cheater should be 100% to blame; and the cheatee should only be partly to blame if they were aware of the cheating. The cheated shouldn't be blamed at all, though sometimes the cheater likes to justify their actions by blaming them.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Patriarchal values praise men for getting as much sex as possible, so when a man “takes” a woman from another man, it’s seen as a display of his sexual prowess and praised meanwhile women are told to remain pure and committed to their man.

NathanDavis · Answer

is it really gender discrimination though? because it is usually the cheated woman who blames it on the cheating woman...  if they're the same gender how is that discrimination? lol...

avery58 · Answer

Nah, my family thinks my brother's ex's side piece is a whore too.

Grond21 · Answer

I hate that, and always thought it was the stupidest thing to unevenly apply the fault

Shiprex · Answer

Women control access to sex so it's always them "letting " things happen.

lostghost · Answer

It should be gender neutral

TheoreticallyGreat · Answer

Hot take

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same, it's not fair.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Sexism

Dorothy90 · Answer

Cause they Seduced the “weak man”

MasterKS · Answer

People always live with double standards.

Why Is The Other Woman Blamed More Than The Other Man In Case Of Cheating?

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