Why is the “other woman” blamed more than the cheating man?

Question

I was disappointed upon hearing two poder female family members saying the other woman got involved with a married and stole him. They went on with saying how a man is a man but she destroyed a family, a marriages.

Too much focus on shaming the mistress. Why? Unless she pointed a gun at him, nobody steals you. Personally my anger would go towards the cheating bastard. If he had valued his marriages, he could've told the other woman to take a hike. He wrecked his own house. The other woman only helped him in wrecking it but he destroyed his family.

You don't hear too much people blaming a lover nor saying "he stole her from me" if a he or wife cheats. Either all the blame goes towards her or it's 50/50 (both blamed equally but never is the other man blamed 100%, not even if he was really the instigator.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

We all know men have a small brain controlled by testosterone. Without that basic functioning, we know we are gonna die and the only path to the future is through some females crotch. Thus, if operating by the simple brain issue, dangle a lure in front of them, they get stupid real fast... for the purposes of pro creating.

Women are geniuses, brilliant, full brained estrogen varying creatures. They know what they are doing. The are extremely manipulative, controlling, coercing and know how to play men. Even if they are playing dumb, their bodies know what they are doing. Some do it better than others. They should know better... and they do, but they don't care, because they also know they are going to die and want to pro-create. Selfish!

Selfishness is the problem... and that is the downfall of it all. That's why there's rules. If women could accept a man having more than one wife with offspring and everyone in the nuclear family worked together for the good of all, there wouldn't be a problem would there? But no... women are selfish aren't they? Why, they want to favor their offspring.

So it's womens fault.

Now, lm drink a cappuccino and see if my answer changes...

Master_Debator · Accepted Answer

My male perspective leaves me looking at the main woman involved. The one cheated on. You might agree with me on this, she just wants to keep him and puts the blame elsewhere and also gives him a "oh he's just a man" pass to get away with it.

He's the one that cheated and he's the one that should be held accountable. She's making a choice to blame the woman instead. Simply put.

Nobody considers that she, the woman he cheats with, was probably lied to. Or that she owes that woman nothing. Imagine being her and you didn't even know there was a wife or girlfriend... being called a home wreaker when you thought you just met the one. The blame is all on you for being a hussy while he plays stupid. Fucking wicked shit for shure.

Why is the “other woman” blamed more than the cheating man?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

have you ever noticed men never get blamed for anything?

for getting women pregnant then ditching them?

for abandoning their kids for single moms to raise?

nobody shames a deadbeat dad but everyone shames a single mom.

men get away for being unhygienic and wearing the same clothes all the time. If a woman did the same thing, she would be labeled as poorly dressed or shamefully dirty.

its ok for men to fart but not women.

men get away with sleeping around. do women get away with that? hell no

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

I think it is easier to blame the person you don’t care about for lack of better way of putting it when in actuality the majority of the blame goes on the cheater.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Women perpetuate double standards as much as men do

AviatorTom · Answer

A person, male or female, should not have an affair with a married person. They should know better, and respect the marriage.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well it just goes to show you that some friends can't even be honest with themselves

OneViewpoint · Answer

Both people have to answer for their decisions whether it's a woman going after a married man or a man going after a married woman. As you indicated nobody gets hijacked into an affair at gunpoint. As far as labeling anyone a cheater or a homewrecker, maybe the "cheater" was miserable in a bad marriage and that home was already wrecked. The affair was just the beginning of the end, a divorce.

A lot of people don't go looking for solutions outside their marriage without a reason. This puritanical label of "Cheater" is bullshit. And sometimes the "victim" is an asshole who got what they deserved. Human relations are complex and it is seldom a clear cut black and white, good and evil binary choice.

RingOfFire · Answer

It's all about nature. Men are designed by nature, physiology and millions of years of evolution to have multiple sexual partners and it is much harder for them to resist their natural impulse. So they get a pass but women don't. That's why you see these same patterns of treating men and women differently across virtually all cultures on the planet and throughout the history of humans. Nature doesn't care about "fairness." It cares about survival of the species and that's what that is all about.

Kelley1 · Answer

Because women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are just following their nature. You can't train a hawk not to go after the pigion so you don't blame the hawk for following its nature. By the same reasoning, men are not blamed for following their nature.

molonski2 · Answer

People were not made for monogamous relationships , particularly at a certain age , I ( over the years ) have had sex with married women , around 11 of them at last count , but I never actually " cheated " myself , once a relationship is declared.
In the case you describe , these women knew he ( they ) were married , and that suited all of them at the time , really no big deal.
It happens.

Sunshinelips · Answer

Unless she deliberately pursued the married man then there’s little blame for her when the majority of time those men pursue other women. He is the one who said the wedding vows and vowed to be faithful. It’s the man who’s married to another woman. It’s the man who is the home wrecker.

strateguy632 · Answer

Because of society in history men had two wives so an added lady is not really cheating nor violated marriage. In fact men see this husband as achieved success due to less opportunities as user shy wrote here. But the "other" woman should limit herself to single men.

Cyfris · Answer

No in my experience the one cheating is the one to take the worst of it. But my experience is from the perspective of the "other man" and not the other woman. Although I did take a fair bit of shit for it myself when that was a thing in my life from my own friends outside of the affair. I even had an undesirable nickname in certain friend groups who knew me well enough that we could speak that openly to each other.

BCRanger10 · Answer

I really don't know if that's the case. I can only speak for myself, but I do in fact blame the cheater, whether it's a man or a woman who cheats. And I know a lot of other people who look at it the same way.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Most men will always shift the blame to the woman, but many women do it too. I guess it all comes down to gender norms, cultural narratives, and psychological shortcuts that people fall into when trying to make sense of betrayal.

slatyb · Answer

Patriarchial indoctrination -- the same reason we label women who have had multiple relationships negatively, but not men who have done the same. It's nonsensical. If a woman's partner is cheating, he's the problem.

Anonymous · Answer

I get what you’re saying, but if the mistress hadn’t opened her legs for him it wouldn’t have happened unless he r*aped her. I think too she’s doing this to another female, so she should be able to relate more by putting herself in that situation as if she was married. I’m not excusing the man’s behavior that’s for sure. But ultimately she has the final say. She should have shut that shit down before it got to that point.

Brady · Answer

In the program Cheaters where private investigators follow cheaters it usually turnd out that if a guy was caught cheatin the girl would attack the guy physically. At the end the guy usually lost both girls.

If a girl was caught cheated on a guy it usually turnd out the guy bein cheated on wood attack the unsuspecting guy. The girl got 2 stay with whoever she wantd.

Anonymous · Answer

Most of the time, the man tells the woman he's not married, or in the process of a divorce and it's almost finalized. In that case, it's all on him, but she should have done some basic research as well. A simple Google search will tell you a lot.

As for stealing someone's man, you're correct. No one steals another man. If he leaves, it's because he wanted to.

alice55 · Answer

Because a lot of woman prefer thinking the other woman manipulated their husband so she can stay with him rather than saying their husband are at fault

Berethor · Answer

Because women are the gatekeeper of sex, and a man is only as faithful as his options.

Anonymous · Answer

I totally agree with you babe come let's me give you hug ❤️

MissSunshine2 · Answer

It’s easier to blame the less important person to everyone, the other woman.

MrChinaski · Answer

Woman is betrayed utterly. Still can't bring herself to separate so can't blame her partner. Hence the other woman becomes the devil.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Basically because the Woman has more sexual opportunities than the Man that so she had those options and She still decided to cheat aswell so ots worse than what the Guy did.

MikeMcMansion · Answer

Didn’t realize you all still shamed sluts or sister home wreckers, so thats a thing thats coming back now or something?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Because people are stupid. Perhaps the other person does not even know about the spouse. Or was told, "We are separated."

genericname85 · Answer

I never saw that happen. I always see the man blamed no matter what.

Anonymous · Answer

she's not. But the other woman is never to be trusted or respected.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Its simply because those women are old enough to understand that a man will be a man.

Staximus · Answer

Because women are like "that's my piece of shit!"

blackeagle007 · Answer

The cheating spouse is fault if you ask me. People lie, saying they are single

robocop666 · Answer

she is only a symptom. if he didn't find her he would find somebody else.

Jennz6 · Answer

We get blamed for everything honey

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Misogyny in patriarchy

Anonymous · Answer

You’re not wrong

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-Y !!!

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same.

Agape93 · Answer

Probably jealousy.

Why is the “other woman” blamed more than the cheating man?

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