Do you really think long distance relationships work?

Question

I mean 90 percent of people cheat.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

VERY rarely for a few reasons, including distance and a ton of distractibility factors.

EVEN a VERY dedicated couple who have been together for a while will struggle when there's a long-term distance and often break up bc one or both of them are registered as "single" or rather "available and unoccupied with their partner" to others while they're in the ldr. That's how the "side piece"/"chippy" types get entangled into their lives.

For instance, there's an amazing young man related to a close friend of mine who is "with" someone in Europe but here for school... and seeing a young person I know from church. We had an event at church and I drove in with my close friend, who described her cousin (the guy) and I realized it was the SAME guy who my young acquaintance from church was seeing. I mentioned it briefly and my friend VEHEMENTLY denied that this was possible... HOWEVER... I was right and the guy was "double dipping his quill."

I don't blame the guy bc he's across an ocean and only 19/20. I don't blame the young lady bc the guy is VERY much a catch and easy to fall for, in addition to which he BEHAVES like someone who is single and never mentions the girlfriend abroad AT... ALL.

Now I've never met the girlfriend... and she MAY or MAY NOT be doing the same thing... Self-control can only take a person so far in quenching urges, especially at such a young age.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

It wouldn’t work for me personally, but I think they do for many people. There are various reasons to have a long distance relationship. Some are online, some are military spouses stationed abroad, some are working at sea, some are out of career choices. Some marriages have one or both spouses working so many hours that they communicate less frequently than two people in a long distant relationship.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s a slim chance , not saying it can’t work , but it’s going to take a lot of trust and respect from each other for it to work ,, I only had a few Long distance relationships and most of them didn’t make it because lack of trust and lack of spending quality time together , so if I meet a girl that I am interested in and I find out we are far apart , I will suggest her and I to be FWB’s to give us both time to really get to know each other and to see if we are meant to be or not. I do this with girls’ that live close to me to because I no longer rush into relationships neither a girl until I really get to know her and we both see the big picture , I take commitment merrily so I am not going to give my heart to a girl that can’t give me hers in return. So long distance relationships can be tough. Especially if her and I can’t see each other within a reasonable amount of time all I ask of her is to be honest , and I will do the same , meaning if her or I meets someone else and ends up having sex with someone else , then have the dignity and respect to end the relationship between us , don’t screw someone else and act like it’s no big deal , I don’t want to be with a girl that lies and that is selfish and I am sure she doesn’t want that with me either. Bottomline if you can’t be honest and respectful and loyal to each other , what’s even the point of being together?

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

A LDR can, and does work, for some people. I've only attempted two LDRs and both failed after a few months, not because of cheating, but because it's hard to maintain a relationship when you rarely see each other.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to sprinkle some wisdom on love dilemmas. 💕 While long-distance relationships can be challenging, they're totally do-able if both parties communicate well and trust each other. Yeah, cheating is a red flag, but not everyone plays dirty. It's about setting boundaries, video calls, and some love-inspired creativity! As long as you're both committed, your heart can definitely handle the miles. 😊✨

Screenwriter · Answer

I don't think the problem with long-distance relationships has much to do with cheating, per se. The problem is you cannot maintain a long-distance, intimate relationship without BEING with a person on a regular basis.

If you aren't there to support them, and I mean in small ways, such as going for a walk together, going out for ice cream, dinner, doing the laundry, cooking, hanging out to watch a show, going to a movie, you cannot share the small moments that make up peoples' daily lives.

You can't take someone to the hospital in an emergency, give them a shoulder to cry on when they need it, help them plant their garden, take out the trash, wash the dishes.

You cannot live with them, and I don't mean co-habit, I mean BE with them doing small things.

And when YOU cannot be there, someone else will. People can't wait forever. It's not tenable or rational.

FreyaRed · Answer

No. I think most people who like LDRs are some kind of people who build up false imagination about their partners. They create an idealistic picture in their mind about people they talk with and they get disappointed when they meet their LDRs in real or find out they were not the only ones and for their LDR it was some kind of MMO.
I'm surely not a capacity in matter of LDR because I've never had one. On the other hand I doubt people who steady are in some LDR are capable for objective evaluation of their own behavior, because relationships contain always a lot of idealization and wish think.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I think that i have already told you that i never cheat once i'm in a relationship but it's too hard for a LDR to work, my first relationship was an LDR and it failed after 3 years because of me, ofc i have never cheated but it didn't work because i was very young and i wasn't able to travel to her country to meet her in reality while we have reached a point where i must meet her in reality so things didn't work well and i didn't want to lose more time from my life or make her lose more time from her life so i called it quit!

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't need to "really think that they work" because thinking is irrelevant here, I can just look at my experience to say: "They worked, a few times".

Cheating is also irrelevant, because distance does not create cheating, cheating comes from a wish to do so, it's not related to what the GPS says, it's related to specific minds of specific people in specific situations.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yeah they can, obviously only if you are eventually gonna meet in real life and one move to the other. If you really love and care for someone being loyal isn't an issue even with distance. People who need sex so bad they would cheat, would cheat regardless even in a same city relationship.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I've seen them work, I'm not sure how many fail.

Age, maturity, values, character matter more.

communication, being clear of expectations and intent.

but yes, some people are just wicked messed up even at your age, so you have to see evidence rather than words. People are still growing up at your age.

RavVid · Answer

As you point out sex is not viable and consequently people might cheat.

I think there is capacity for LD relationships to develop a lot of emotional depth because the the trivialities are absence.

When internet became widespread people were flying off to different countries to start a new life with someone they had never met. Certainly something was happening there.

Back then it was emails. So there was more content than in a dm or sms.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Dear God I hope 90% is no where true. Two of my past relationships I know did. A gut feeling tells me possibly a third but of the number of women I have been in relationships with, it is still less than 90%. I personally never have. I never even felt myself thinking of another while involved. When I am in, I am all in sort of thing. If I did feel other wise, I would rather end things versus hurt them by straying and stringing them along as well as gain the label of being a cheat. No thanks.

Anonymous · Answer

90% of the guys you have dated cheated on you? Must be something you are doing in choosing the wrong guys, because 90% of all guys don't cheat. If you really believe that, you have an extremely horrible opinion of men and perhaps it would be better that you not date.

ManOnFire · Answer

Make that 95%. But no, I do not think the vast majority of them work. People can and do lose interest or become strained by the distance. I think it is very, very few people who have the strength to do that.

strateguy632 · Answer

1, of course not, 2 obviously because you are far so they will find someone local for physical part, i agree.

beenherebefore · Answer

It might work for a while if you're young and still live in a fantasy world. If you're a grown adult I don't see the point in being in a LDR.

Nikki1989 · Answer

They are prone to fail miserably from the get-go.

bowenw · Answer

I think they can work temporarily, but we seem to need in-person conversations and contact for a long-term relationship to work.

WonderingManII · Answer

I have only had one long distant relationship. One that I called a relationship. I also had many female friends online. But none of it lasts beyond a year.

foxsquirrell · Answer

No I don't think it can work. To be in a relationship means that you spend time together. Physically together not online chat or video call. Its just a ridiculous and self contradictory notion.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Just by how you framed the question... I think we already agree on so much about it.

WhitneySnow · Answer

They can if you’re really committed to each other

Mark987 · Answer

Maybe for the beginning... majority of couples I know it didn't work, but for a few it did. it depends if you're both willing to make it work.

AndrésC64 · Answer

They may work for a short period of time if the people already know each other. But for new relationships, no way.

Dnice1 · Answer

They can work but they are quite the challenge

Asgard356 · Answer

Not for me. I love talking chatting but I also need body I can feel against mine.

Kokishin · Answer

I would feel dissatisfied by long distance because I am physically needy.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe they work for some people, but I can't have any kind of relationship. Ha! At least nobody is cheating on me :P

Sam1133 · Answer

Forget long not even short distance relationship work now days...

Demi89 · Answer

If you’s comuttate I believe you could especially with things like face time and strong enough resist temptation.

Kattsnaiper · Answer

Its hard but doable, both of the partners need to be comfortable with it.

serious · Answer

No they are bound to fail for sure.

Staximus · Answer

Long distance relationships are stupid

WhiteThought · Answer

How do you know that 90% of people cheat?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes but it’s not common

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes they do work I am proof of it

lostghost · Answer

No it depends on partner.. I never cheated

Anonymous · Answer

It never has for me

Grond21 · Answer

Mine worked

LiamJHayden · Answer

For me, no.

Dat-Alpha-Lion · Answer

Source?

yk9998 · Answer

No...

Do you really think long distance relationships work?

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