I'm so tired now. What should I do?

Question

I've been married for 13-14 years. We have a son. This is actually a confession. But I don't love my wife anymore. Our sex life was already terrible (due to his distant/cold nature). But my love is gone, too. :( I love my son very much and want to be together forever, but it's so hard when I don't love my wife. I'm getting tired. I'm tired of always pretending :(

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

If the love is gone , the only thing you can do is tell her the truth about how you truly feel , my advice to you is not to file for divorce immediately unless you truly don’t love her anymore and you have someone else lined up , but if you don’t have someone else lined up , then tell her you want a separation to give yourself time to think and maybe do marriage counseling to find out why you are feeling the way that you do ,. I been in your shoes before with my wife that wanted a separation from me, I was hurt and devastated but I knew I couldn’t t force her to love me and be with me , so I didn’t argue with her about it and let her leave without any conflict , After she left me, I ended up meeting other girls’ that treated me better Than my wife did , when my wife found out I met someone else , she was devastated and kicked herself in the ass for making her selfish decision, so sometimes it’s best to try to fix your marriage before deciding to be selfish thinking another girl is Going to be better for you , Again I can’t tell you what to do , but understand this can happen if you choose not to work on your marriage understand that’s your decision to walk away , not hers’ and if your wife ends up meeting someone else , you are shit out of luck if You suddenly have a change of heart about your marriage. so don’t be upset when she is bouncing on another guys’ cock, because you made the selfish decision to walk the other way. Also your son is going to be effected as well if you choose to leave your wife. So really think about what’s more important to you , Marriages aren’t easy but they also don’t have to be hard, Selfish people make them hard. Instead of divorce , suggest to your wife that you want an open marriage
, and come to an understanding and agreement ,

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

now you have to do work or make painful decisions. so many these days... give up, dump, and try to start over. often times, do bettr 2nd time, or it may be 3rd+.

if you didn't do the work earlier on or along the way to make things better, then it's eroded and all piled up bad emotions. both will have eto come together and decide to do work. there's lots you can do... to choose to love the other, work on yourself individually and prioritize and value the other... grow forward together.

it's a choice. it may be the hardest thing you've done or decisionyou've made.

both paths can work out if you want them to.

starting over, have seen happen many times and can be great, but it's different now than 13yrs ago. could be years til find another.

I don't think it's right to go find someone before ending the current, but often people do. it's the easy way out. The adult way is to process current situation and conclude it, heal emotionally so you are "good again" and start fresh so you have something good for the next.

or you totally focus on the current, yourself and make the best of the life and one you chose. it is very difficult denying yourself and being miserable for 30+ years. The other has to show up and be willing.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

What you need is couple counseling and this has to be done together with your wife.

You are leading your wife to believe that everything is okay when in fact it is not. You will have to confess to your wife sooner or later that you don't love her anymore and I have always found it such a disgrace that sex and fornication is what is apparently keeping couples together and when copulation is no longer a pleasure but more of a chore, a drag or whatever you want to call it, that a separation or cheating is becoming the only option.

Adults fornicate on the average less than one single percent of their awake time yet this one percent dominates the entire relationship. It is truly sad that this is the only thing that is important in life.

You have to be honest with your wife and seek professional help. This is the only right thing to do in your current situation. Good luck.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

If the love is gone for you there is not much you can do but get a divorce unless you think the marriage is repairable via going the marriage counselor route. Maybe give that a try first before going the divorce route and if that doesn't work, then it may be time to throw in the towel.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach here to sprinkle some magic, I can tell you that it’s important to face these feelings with honesty and a pinch of courage. Love can be complex and evolve over time, but that doesn’t mean all is lost. 🌟

Consider having an open heart-to-heart with your wife about how you feel. Be honest, but gentle. Sometimes rediscovering those initial sparks requires rekindling communication and closeness. Think of it as turning a new page in your love story, with your son being a beautiful chapter in it. Remember, relationships are like plants. They need nurturing to grow! 🌱💖

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Is there another female who has your attention?

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Get a side chick?

jahaims · Answer

You failed. Either fix it or move on

Anonymous · Answer

Try to talk to her about the problem.

I'm so tired now. What should I do?

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