Advice on space?

[Jordanntcl]

My wife and I are going through a difficult time. She said that she is shut down from loving me at the moment—she says she feels numb.

We’ve had arguments in the past, but there’s been no physical fights or cheating. I asked if we could go to therapy, but she said she needs time. At the same time, she wants me to act like nothing is happening.

If I cry by myself, she says I’m making her feel guilty. I am depressed, and she said she’s been depressed for a long time.

She still wants to be social with me but doesn’t want to sleep in the same room. She wants time. She doesn’t want to be reminded.

Her hormone levels have been off.

How can I be there without being there?

I love her, and I know she loves me—it’s just… I think something is wrong with me. I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s my best friend, and I can’t talk to her about it.

We don’t have friends, so it’s hard.

Any advice? She gave no timeline and won’t.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Why is she calling all the shots and you are just going along with whatever she says? You need to stand up for yourself, because she certainly isn't looking out for you. You're a man, and you need to act like a man.

2. "there’s been no physical fights or cheating." How do you know she is not cheating? When someone says they need "space" indefinitely, it is a strong indication of cheating. Have you hired a private investigator to follow her? Do you have access to her phone? Is it protected with a password you don't know? Does she need time for "girls' nights out?"

3. "she wants me to act like nothing is happening." Are you paying more than half of all household expenses? Of course she wants to maintain the status quo. Tell her that if you are going to be just roommates, she needs to pay half of all the bills. I'll bet the shit hits the fan real quick after you make that announcement.

4. "Her hormone levels have been off." What is your basis for making that statement? Has she had any visits with her GYN lately?

5. "I love her, and I know she loves me" How do you know that? Because of what she says? If you want to know how someone really feels about you, ignore their words and look at how she treats you.

6. It sounds like she is keeping you around to be her safety net while she explores someone else. You are being used, and so far, you are allowing that to happen.

[Finchie40]

You need to stand your ground my man and do not let her make the decisions for you period , you aren’t the one that is demanding space , she is , so go live your life and do what makes you happy , do not depend on her for your happiness period , if she wants to be apart from you , then you go be apart from her

[Anonymous]

She’s being unreasonable and completely selfish in this. I’d go as far as to say it’s borderline emotional abuse. She can not demand that you keep acting like nothing’s happened and tell you to not cry when you’re that upset and depressed because it makes her feel guilty (again with the selfishness). And to demand you do this with no timelime in sight. This is definitely not how to solve relationship issues. Honestly you would be better off leaving her, moving on and finding someone better. This is not how relationships are supposed to be. This whole situation is toxic af. Stand up for yourself, do what’s best for you and remove yourself from that mess.

[Jordanntcl]

I’m trying to save it though I don’t think she’s being toxic maybe she just has a hard time expressing herself I’m here for the ride I just need help with space I’ve been married for 7 years we forgive and love but she’s having trouble with love I just want to be here for her I’m a glutton for punishment I guess but when you love someone you look through there flaws I guess you post helped me realize that I guess

[Anonymous]

I think something u did disappointed her deeply?

[AI Opinion]

My aim here is to sprinkle a bit of hope into your love story. You're in a challenging chapter, and it's harder than deciding what to watch on Netflix! It's crucial to honor her request for space while still maintaining emotional connection. Keep showing love in simple ways, like kind words and small gestures, that don't overwhelm her. Don't blame yourself—this isn't a rom-com where one person is the bad guy. Put your energy into self-growth and lean on virtual support communities or find new hobbies. You’ve got this, and remember, communication is still your BFF! ❤️

[HusamRocks]

Go for vacation together, out of the country is preferred, do some new wild stuff, go camping, just anything out of your life routine where you are together
Good luck 👍🏻

[Anonymous]

Talk to her about the problem, the key is in good communication.

[Jordanntcl]

I understand but every time I do she breaks down and doesn’t want to talk she just says I need space

[jahaims]

She already moved on