How much space is too much space?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a 1.5 years now. It was mostly LD, but we always made the time for each other. Since covid began, I had been visiting for a week about twice a month. Aside from that, we would text everyday periodically and had a routine of FaceTiming almost every night. We had a mutual understanding of our busy lives. We were in a super good place with everything and then the last week he got very busy with work and school and began to fall behind. I brought it up bc I care if something is going on in his life and felt as if he had been distant. He basically said the honest truth is that he has a lot going on right now with work, school, and his family and needed to take some time off to just catch up with everything. He said he “just needs to be alone for now and hoped I understood.” Of course I did because I love and care about him, but I can’t help but feel hurt about the situation. I don’t think a relationship THIS good is worth throwing away over stress. Life is always going to be stressful and I’m supposed to be there to relieve it, and I didn’t realize I was adding so much to his plate with the calls and occasional visits. I don’t think our relationship should just be disposable, but I have been respecting his request and texted him after letting him know he can take all the time he needs and I’ll be here if needs me. He thanked me for understanding and said to let him get through his things and that we’ll talk soon. I know it’s just me being hurt by the sudden change in my 1.5 year long routine, but how much space do I give him? We have not been in contact since he thanked me and I’m starting to overthink. I just want some answers because I’m stuck in a limbo, but I want to respect his request and not drive him away. I’m hopeful that he is as dedicated to this relationship as it always seemed, but as the days pass I can’t help but think I needed him way more than he needed me and it hurts a lot.

[bobalife]

You need to give him a real talk. You’re not okay. You’re in pain.. :/ he’s not being emotionally available and that’s okay. We all have heavy things in our lives. But when you’re in a relationship, building quality time is also important. You can respect some space which is supposed to be normal space. But he also needs to realize what also matters to you and how to make compromises. It’s weird that he will ask for space like that which I don’t think is a good sign. Been there. Done that. It’s a waste of time tbh sighs. Like I was so supportive and did all I could even give “space” but it still didn’t really improve. It’s just him... so make it know what’s in your heart. Hopefully he hear you and you guys can make compromises.

[bobalife]

Thats not okay*

[I-have-a-biscuit]

Give the man time to fix his problems. Wouldn't hurt you more if he failed exams/jobs because he'd be spending time with you rather than learning/exercising/paying attention? I know it's hard for you but these really aren't times to be picky

[Vulvalicker]

Space is a breakup