Do more men or women think they can fix or change someone?

[Summeroflove]

I see a lot of both good men and good women trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. They just want a enabler…

For females they may think they can change a man. Feel like if she nurtures him and shows him empathy he will change. But he never does he may pretend like he wants to and even for short periods of time appear like it and revert back to his old ways.

For males it seems they want to rescue a woman. They think he can fix her, save her from herself and anyone whose ever done her wrong, protect her, and everything else. But at the end of it all she’s just the same old person taking advantage of him.

She may at times again act like she’s wanting to change. Needing to be rescued. Playing on his sympathy to make him feel sorry for her to where she gets away with doing and treating him however she wants. Nothing she ever did was her fault or maybe acting like she regrets certain life decisions only to find out later on she’s still been doing it. The same enabler she got a enabler.

She got someone who won’t hold her accountable and will swoop in to white knight her out of trouble. Someone who will fund the lifestyle she’s wanting and bail her out of debt. Bail her out of loans and credit cards she can’t pay back and give her shit.

[Tarifa]

We're all unique human beings, with our past experiences, hopes and fears. And although I have always given everything in relationships and expect everything in return, it's impossible to 'change' someone in a fundamental way.

There's a French saying that goes ‘Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop’ (You can't fight nature). It means you cannot change your true nature or fundamental tendencies, and that these will always eventually manifest themselves, like a horse returning to its fastest pace. It's also pointless to hide one's personality, as it will inevitably reappear.

I think you can go a long way towards understanding the other person and taking certain steps along the way, but expecting to be able to mold the other person to fit your needs is never going to happen.

[Tarifa]

Thanks for the MHO

[InknKink]

The female archetype is the bad boy turned good. And the male equivalent is the damsel in distress. It's the allure that I'm that special person. The missing peace. The catalyst of change that makes another person complete.

I think it's equal parts both men and women who fall into this cliche. I however, think that women keep to script longer then men.

My guess is that this is because women are more driven by their emotions when is comes to seduction. Men just like shiny things, emotions be damned.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. Unfortunately and evil people prey on those with empathy

[FreyaRed]

Women are more prone to wish think in relationship. That's because women idolize and demonize more their partners.
Something like " I knew he is a cheater and it was just question of time..." is very rare in relationship discussions among girls.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Women are encouraged to believe men will change for them because women constantly change themselves for men. They expect their partner to do the same

[Summeroflove]

True. A lot of men are conditioned as well they they can fix a woman. Rescue a woman form herself and to blame everyone and everything besides the woman including himself.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of good men and women are raised to sacrifice their own wants and needs for someone else. Real relationships are five and take and the evil ones prey on good natured people

[Summeroflove]

Someone may act like they want to change. But they gave sympathy cards ready to go…. Knowing someone with empathy will feel bad.

They want a enabler….

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, and that’s not universal, nor the majority.

[AI Opinion]

You're diving into the world of relationship dynamics! 😄 Both men and women fall into the trap of trying to change partners who don't want to change. Think of it as a universal love potion chase. Women often go for the nurturing route, thinking empathy will transform him. Meanwhile, men may try to play hero, aiming to rescue and protect. But oh boy, people rarely change unless they want to! 🚩 So, the real magic is in self-awareness and setting boundaries. Remember, love is about partnership, not a fixer-upper project! 💕

[Jackblue]

I do think that women not always but often are attracted to chaotic, brooding men who trigger their maternal instincts. Men are sometimes lured into being a meal ticket for a woman who is just stringing him along, but the difference is, he usually catches on once his bank account has declined significantly. Emotional labor while also draining is theoretically unlimited, so women sometimes feel that they can offer it for years and years on end in the interest of saving a man and gaining a happily ever after.

[Twalli]

Men sometimes want a girl they can protect. It's not that he wants to change her. He actually wants her to always need him, and she usually doesn't, especially if she just needed him to heal. My sister was like this for a few years and had a huge Cinderella complex. Now she's with a much better guy for her.
Women think a "bad boy" just needs the right woman to be with him to be a good person. She assumes it is her. The thing is, bad boys are not bad because they haven't found the right woman, they aren't going to be good without a goal in mind. Then they'll be good long enough to get the goal. If you meet an incel, with the incel mindset, they're going to treat women the way they do, even if you give them all the sex they want.

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding? It's women, and it ain't even close.

As I've said before, women look for about 300 things in a guy. While guys only look for about 3 in a woman. Guys are just simple and utilitarian. We adapt. It's just our nature, so we find the best woman we can, and we adapt the best we can. Women conversely find the guy with as close to those 300 things and the slowly try to change the rest about him. Which MIGHT work if they're small things. But this is where women generally make thier mistake. Most women really do not listen to men. Women hear two or 3 words that he says then builds her own story around it.

[Nikki1989]

I have seen many times men say or try to change their women. It rarely works.

[Summeroflove]

A person can’t change if they don’t want to. Point blank… and if they act like they’re wanting to change. They may be preying on your sympathy

[dwreborn]

In my area it is more the women or maybe it's because they talk about it more but if you want to change someone I think is bad idea most people have hard time changing without losing a little something from ur partner

[Phoenix98]

I can only speak on my own personal experiences and in that experience it's usually the woman trying to change me and not the other way around.

[katiesmuff]

I think it about a 50/50 thing between men and women

[exitseven]

Women want to change a guy. guys want their woman to stay the same.

[DrPepper12]

We ALL do. We love strays & projects. It's our nature.

[blackeagle007]

I’ve noticed some women on here who date asshats thinking they can change them. You can’t change anyone. They have to do it themselves

[Bloodparadise]

This women are submissive mentally or they are self destructive notion my go away for good forever..

[Bloodparadise]

*must go away

[Meatballs]

Probably equal amount of men and women believe that they can save someone. My opinion

[Avicenna]

Definitely more women

[queenofcardio]

I don't think that way at all. I can choose to accept him for who is now or I wouldn't bother getting to know him. It's not worth my time

[Anonymous]

You never hear men say "I can fix her". So yeah it's mostly women trying to force change on men.

[WhitneySnow]

I think both genders do this

[Luopio27]

I dont think I can change anyone!

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Fix, men
Change, women

[adenniz]

I think it's mostly women

[Anonymous]

Some of them probably think so.

[loveyouoak]

Men!

[Dongie]

Women.

[Slim57]

Women