Is it possible for people to change? Can men change for themselves?

[Queenjaileenxo]

Im asking this because he is really close to me extremely close to me, I've known him since may 29,2020 he has manipulation tactics, gaslighting tactics as well, last year he start it run his credit like crazy he would go to every dealership until he got approved, then got his girlfriend pregnant and made her had an abortion, then he continue to cheat on her to be honest she is naïve who believes him he hasn't stop cheating physically he has but mentally he had not he still follows females on his Instagram lies and says he does not use Instagram like that, then he says he doesn't get on social media like that but gets on facebook and watches videos for hours, he has been saying he is going to get a stable job for months no, but he continues to work door dash and even try to apply for uber eats not to long ago. Today we all three hung out he went to this dealership but things were going wrong so we left and called another dealership, so he basically is going on repeat with his life clearly she does not want to see it i don't know if i should consider her as being stupid or believes in his lies and manipulation, because she believes him that his "actions" have changed. And before people tell me things this guy is also my boyfriend i want it to put friend because i want it to avoid the boyfriend and girlfriend tittle yes this a poly relationship even if poly relationship are not real or whatever 🤣.

[spartan55]

Wow, you are making some really poor choices. Is it possible for people to change? Depends on what we are talking about. With this guy I don't think there is any way he will change. Why should he? As long as he can lie and manipulate women like you and girlfriend #2 he has no reason to.

[Queenjaileenxo]

Yeah you are right

[qwert1234]

Yes, a person can change - if they really mean to.

Saying that they will change just to appease others - usually does not work, if it does, not on a long term.

[jengeorge26]

Good question, sometimes men can change to be a better person but women should not be the ones to change their man

[Queenjaileenxo]

So if the female is constantly telling him to change what does that mean? And how does the guy see this?

[badempress]

It’s highly unlikely that he will change but not impossible. Maybe he will once he’s older and matured.

[hahahmm]

Stop worrying about him & worry about you. Can you change? If you continue training yourself to think this poly relationship is normal you will just end up alone eventually or unhappy (as you are now). It will become harder and harder for you to have a normal relationship.

[Queenjaileenxo]

You think its that easy my whole life i never experienced love my first boyfriend normal relationship was about cheating and physical abuse then my second relationship turned being traumatic where my own boyfriend raped me and now this so it's complicated i don't want to go through anymore pain that's all

[Queenjaileenxo]

I already been through too much to find someone new who can possibly hurt me as well

[hahahmm]

Oh, so you are taking the easy way out. A lot of people try to do that in life but it doesn't make their life better. They are just delaying when they will really deal with their issues. In your case if you keep on this track you will use up the prime years of your life.. wasted. When you're late 30s+ you will regret the choices you made and it will be 1,000 times harder to find what you really want. If I'm you I would go 100% single, stop with the sex... figure out what life goals I want to achieve and really, really study how to get there. Keep in mind that if a woman is miserable/alone and older, then how she did things is NOT how you want to do things. Check out my mytakes too.

[Hulk30]

it's possible for people to change but it's a matter of if they wanna and if they're actually uncomfortable enough with their flaws and situation to change they can and they should but my second answer is related to my first

[EnglishEuropean]

Not fundamentally. The personality is formed during childhood.

[NeffexSelfMade]

yes both genders can change

but only with christ god

without him

no one is changing

[NightmareWasOpen]

they can change unless you're asking if they can change into women (they can't)

[Guardian45]

He's a LOSER. DTMFer!

[In_Trance]

people don't change