Been with wife for 25 years and starting a separation we both took each other for granted and lost the spark can we get it back or is it over?

[dwreborn]

Have beautiful daughter we get along great most times when we do talk about our issues we always seem better after please any thought?

[Finchie40]

To say for sure I can’t, but 25 years is a long time for the both of you to just throw in the towel on each other , understand no relationship is perfect , but if you want to save your marriage and you still love your wife , then fist thing i suggest is for you to remove selfishness most relationships and marriages end because of selfishness and i suggest you stop pointing fingers at her first and point fingers at yourself first instead and Accept the fact that you both are at a crossroads in your relationship. Instead of blaming her ,
Listen to her , us men usually have Ego’s that we don’t allow anyone to step over us. You have to remember she married you to be her partner not her controller. So next time you talk to her try to avoid using the word You , and use I instead. Basically say things like I am sorry we are butting heads , I am sorry we got to this crossroads in our marriage , I no longer want to argue with you, I want to understand you. When you remove the word You , your wife will feel like you are listening to her instead of trying to counter attack her , if she wants to take a break from you,, accept her decision and say I understand but just know I love and care about you. Most females’ love when her man listens to her instead of pointing fingers at her instead. I went through the same shit with my wife of 20 years and when I started to listen to her instead of counter attacking her , she felt listened to , I’m not saying this is going to save your marriage but it’s going to make her respect
You more when she realizes you are listening to her. If she loves you, she isn’t going to do anything stupid to jeopardize her marriage with you , if she does? Kick her ass to the curb where she belongs. Never let a girl walk over you and take you for granted , but you don’t have to be an asshole about it , when your wife realizes you are completely ok with whatever decision she makes , she will more
Than likely have a change of heart and want to be in your arms again. Girls like a guy that she can look up to and feel listened to , trust me she isn't going to want to see you with another girl , especially when you start listening to her and stop pointing fingers at her first. Girls’ want to be the chaser not the other way around , hope this helps you

[Miristheiss]

Ah, another of the generation that thinks divorce is just normal. As soon as you get bored or aggravated... leave the marriage. Till death do us part, or until I get bored or get the hots for someone else.

[dwreborn]

I agree I think if u get married you need to go through everything to make it work I still love my wife if we do divorce I don't know if I will ever get through it but I do know I cannot force love on her so what do you do but try everything to fix it and if it can't work it can't work believe me I didn't get married to get divorced long relationships are hard work and feelings are hard to control

[Nikki1989]

The fact that you're asking this question suggests that you still have hope. If you and your wife share that desire to fight for your marriage, there is a good chance you can come out of this stronger.

[dwreborn]

My only fear is the time we spend apart to work on ourselves we find happiness somewhere else but if it does then it was time to end it

[Abbycado]

I mean, there is always a chance. Did you do counseling or anything?

[dwreborn]

Not yet I've wanted to for months not but never pushed it tried to give her space and let her find herself but we are this week it's just been tough been with her since out of highschool

[Abbycado]

I'm no expert at all, but counseling seems like the logical first step.

[dwreborn]

Ya it's happening this week and no matter what we are going to parents houses separately for other reasons beside this which iam fine with to help ourselves out I just love her and I gotta ease back

[Abbycado]

I hope that it helps and you two can get back on track. Good luck to both of you and hope it works.

[dwreborn]

Thanks its gonna hurt no matter which way it goes but helps to talk to other people about it

[AI Opinion]

Navigating those relationship waters, right? 🌊 Aiming to offer a fresh perspective here! It's a promising sign that you get along well and feel better after talking. Communication is like the secret sauce to reigniting that spark. Maybe try new activities together or revisit old passions that initially brought you close. Reconnecting and rediscovering each other could be a thrilling adventure! Remember, falling in love is a continuous journey, not a destination. 💕

[Anonymous]

Hate to say ig but she's getting thd spark every night, sometimes in the butt and has been for a while.

[Staximus]

Have you tried a marriage counselor?

[dwreborn]

In process now we can talk really well without getting out of control but we need a mediator to reign stuff back if it gets heated

[In_Trance]

You're the only one that knows

[dwreborn]

Ya I get that but I've never had to do this before never been on the outs with anyone it's only relationship I've been in and iam mid 40's have u split and stayed together with anyone or go separate ways

[In_Trance]

Always go separate ways. In my experience I find if you're at the point of breaking up there's nothing left to reconcile.

[dwreborn]

Ya the next couple of months if different places it will prob happen what I read once a married couple separates they have 15% chance of making it work

[In_Trance]

That seems legit

[Anonymous]

What happened

Do you have any update?