It's that Time of Year Again. Can Guys And Girls Just Be Good Friends?

Question

Is it possible for two people to go for a coffee or a meal together, and be regarded by society as just good friends?

Does it matter?

For example would they be accused of cheating if they were already in a relationship?

Therefore if so, two single people not in a relationship can't be innocently just going for a coffee.

What is your opinion?

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

One of my best friends is someone I met through dating. Yes we slept together. Unfortunately he lied to me. He wasn't single.

When I found out I cut him off.

There was a period of time about 6 months of no communication.
Then during the lockdown the day my dad was rushed to hospital he text. He by passed my blocked because I had been using a brick phone that didn't have that feature.

We spoke and he was deeply remorseful.

What's Interesting is that the moment I set up boundaries and told him friendship only. He revealed so much more about himself.

It's going to sound really sad but he was lonely. I didn't take pity on him I just spoke to him like a good friend.
Subjecting his girlfriend to the devastating reality of his cheating was unfair and she didn't deserve it.
He told me all the good things about her and why she was struggling to end the relationship. So I told him straight you need to come correct and fix things because what he had with her was something rare to find.

I told him he needed to tell her about our friendship and we also needed to meet.

We have been friends now nearly 6 years and we have never made that mistake again. They have since got engaged have a son. I have met my partner had a baby and having our second.
Our respective partners have met, and they know we are just friends.

I can't vouch for anyone else but I know in myself that I have conviction to know now we are friends I wouldn't make that mistake of overstepping that boundary.

And in the event he were to try anything the friendship would end.

Id like to make it clear I was honest from the beginning with my partner about the nature of our friendship and I also asked him if he felt our friendship was anything other, I would do all I could to ensure he wasn't uncomfortable or disrespected.

He has reassured me that he trusts me and can see we are just friends.
We socialise with and without him.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

When I was younger, up until I have a committed boyfriend. I had all kinds of friends… excluding sexual related.
so yes. We can be friends… and a few were also good friends. We hung out, we stay over at each others homes, separated sleeping quarters.
once in a committed relationship, we all became good friends respectfully. Hubby became good friend to my college friend and me to his female friends.

I do not think it’s a good idea to be going out alone for coffee, drinks ince in a committed relationship.

I do not think there is true good friend frienship between a guy and a girl who is in a committed relationship without their partner around. Not because of how others view us. It’s about our love, committed, true emotions to our partner.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

The answer is YES…. The risk of one person or the other catching feelings is there sometimes the best relationships come from friendships. Now is it risky? Yes. Relationships are like anything else the more the gamble the higher the payout (assuming it works out) sometimes.

Now both men and women can be platonic friends with never having any romantic and/or sexual feelings for one another. Just a genuine fondness-and platonic relationship.

It does happen where one person catches feelings and the other doesn’t. Yes or they get into a relationship and it ruins the friendship when they break up.

aaron13547 · Accepted Answer

Yes people can be just friends but when you're in a relationship you have to also consider the person you are with not just yourself. I try to think about it like it's ok to be friends with another women only if mine could be a fly on the wall watching and not get upset... if I were alone with this female friend in my mind my girlfriend would be with us also. For my relationship trust is what makes it OK for us both to have friends of the opposite sex. I know I can trust her because she knows she can trust me. A Problems not a problem until you make it a problem.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Here's my take: Absolutely, guys and girls can totally be good friends and share a meal without society raising an eyebrow. It's all about the trust and openness within the relationship. Communication is key! As long as both people know where the boundaries lie, there's no harm in a simple hangout. That said, if someone yells "cheating" out of nowhere, that's a big, fiery red flag waving on their part! Just be transparent with your special someone, and let friendship bloom. It's possible to keep it platonic, so why not? 😉

1

AviatorTom · Answer

Yes, guys and girls CAN be just friends, but, as Billy Crystal's character says in "When Harry Met Sally", the guy may wonder what she's like in bed, even when they have no intention of doing anything about it.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have had a friendship with a few girls who were just friends. I felt an attraction to a few of them but I never acted on it for various reasons.

Abbycado · Answer

Despite what you read here, yes they can. I have guy friends from last year that lived in the adjacent hall. Since I am in a different building this year, I don't see them.

So, we met up at one of the campus dining halls to catch up. My boyfriend did the same with girl friends he had when we all got back on campus.

Hardon-Collider · Answer

It's a real social pressure, no doubt. But you need to understand that it's a specific social rule, not a universal spiritual law. A couple, a man and a woman, can certainly go for a meal together. In fact, they can have physical proximity and it's not a problem. The spiritual bond they share is what matters, not the specific physical arrangement. Now, if a man and a woman are both single, it's a different story. The social convention says it's a problem, but it's not a spiritual one. The rule has become a dead letter, something that's been established without any real spiritual substance. It's an empty form that people follow out of habit. The real question is whether there's a spiritual bond between the people involved. If there is, then yes, the social convention is a dead letter. But if there isn't, then there's no problem to begin with.

dwreborn · Answer

That's a good question I think it's harder for that to happen if you are in a relationship for me I wouldn't care if he was a friend before my wife and I were 2gether but if she can't talk to me about personal stuff with our relationship and does with some guy that I don't know I would be upset with it if she asked to go hang out with him I would be more open to it if I met him its tough a lot of different circumstances to play into that question

sage2021 · Answer

I believe it's possible, but usually those friendships kinda fade away when one of them finds a life long serious relationship.
Some women have really great friend relationships until one meets a guy and he becomes her boyfriend and her friend falls by the way side.

Happens all the time.

DrPepper12 · Answer

I don't understand all of these weak terrified people who think that men and women can't be friends without wanting to fuck each other. I don't get it, I've never gotten it, and I never will get it. If your relationship can't survive your SO being friend with someone of the other sex that's a you problem.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Sure, but it takes a lot of self control. Especially from the guy’s perspective. You can’t overcome biology. At some level, every girl I see, I decide if she’s attractive and if I want to have sex with her. Sometimes the answer changes over time as you get to know someone and they have qualities that make them more attractive beyond, nice hair, eyes, tits, ass, legs, whatever. For better or worse, I have very few female friends I wouldn’t have sex with if the stars aligned because we wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t like them

Anonymous · Answer

It’s possible but it’s rare that nothing has ever happened between them, they’ve never dated and neither of them are, have never been and will never be attracted to each other or have feelings. Usually it’s the guy attracted to to girl. But yeah sure, it’s possible.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yes guys and gals can be friends.. but if they are straight attractive people it's very rare that neither one has ulterior motives. Since usually if sex is a possibility they would take that chance if offered. People love to lie.. that no I don't feel anything for my friend but more often than not even if that is true, the other one does have feelings.

Tarifa · Answer

It's not straighforward and will raise some questions. Easy if no attraction has ever developed nor will develop between the two of you. Very difficult to nearly impossible if attraction is present, even if both would never act upon it.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not this again!

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Abs so fuckinglutely, the key is neither one wants to fuck the other one, I have had female friends for over 20 fucking years. But I never wanted to fuck any of them, they're beautiful in their own right, but they're not my type. Now. I would never be friends with a hot girl or One I want to fuck

Crankor · Answer

Yes but it is also true while one may only want a friendship, 9 times out of 10, one or both could develop feelings for the other causing several issue on its own. This is under the assumption one is not single. If they both are then sure do whatever. Otherwise its never a good idea to go out with someone of the opposite sex alone while another is on a relationship. Its basically considered a date at that point and to me is disrespectful to the both partners and the relationship itself

Flower7 · Answer

I would not hang out with a guy that I had no romantic interest in.

Rena0 · Answer

If they’re both not interested in the opposite sex, it’s important to approach their feelings with understanding. I’ve heard from my best friend’s little brother that sometimes friendships can have complicated motivations, but it’s essential to prioritize genuine connections over any ulterior motives.

XXblack88 · Answer

I don't see way not. Has no one met a tomboy before?

Xawyx-2 · Answer

Yes, of course, I have some girls who are just friends.

WhitneySnow · Answer

They certainly can do that but a lot of people observing them will think they’re a couple, especially if they don’t know them well

qwerty2469 · Answer

I said yes because I was best friends with a girl for over 20 years. I wish we could still be friends.

Anonymous · Answer

Easily. All the women I know I'm friends with.

Anonymous · Answer

For women yea, after all they friendzone majority of guys

lorenzomichael · Answer

Hell, no guys and girls cannot be just friends unless one of them are gay.

clampfan101 · Answer

I don’t know why not. I’ve certainly had some platonic female friends.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have guy friends for a reason

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Yes. I wish I had more girl friends.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

Enginn · Answer

No. One of them will want to fuck

It's that Time of Year Again. Can Guys And Girls Just Be Good Friends?

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