Tell my wife or ni?

[Curiousbenjamin90]

I’m into something that my wife isn’t, re: female undergarments. We’ve been together for 7 years and I’ve hinted at it, but I know for a fact that it’s not her thing. Should I bring it up explicitly or just continue to satisfy in other ways (never anything sneaky/weird/that would break her trust)?

Updates

7 mo

Correcting title to no*, sorry about that.

Updates

7 mo

First of all the title, apologies on the typo. Or no*.

Secondly, this is more about a woman wearing them first and then me doing other things with them, not me wearing them out in public (or in private for that matter). That’s not the engaging part for me. Thanks to all for the input!

[SueShe]

A relationship is based on mutual trust and if it does not exist, then it is time to sever that relationship.

Your wife is aware of your issue but apparently has not opposed that you wear women's undergarments. I believe that you should tell her and let her decide whether she accepts this problem of yours.

What you must of course never ever do is to steal or borrow her own undergarments. That is a deal breaker and a total red flag.

Use your own and don't soil hers. There is barely anything in life that is more private than the underwear.

However, be ready to accept the consequences if she does not agree with your problem.

[Curiousbenjamin90]

Sorry, to clarify - I don’t wear them, I just have a bit of a fetish for them when worn by a woman. Also, I’m not sure I would call it an “issue” lol 😉

[DollAlone]

Are you into wearing them or want her to wear them? Either way, just come right out and tell her or put them on yourself. Explain to her that it's a fetish and a turn on nothing weird or obsessive. It just makes you feel good. After seven years if she isn't understanding then something is off there but people don't last that long unless they have some form of communication and understanding

[Curiousbenjamin90]

I’m not into wearing them myself, no. That’s probably as much as I can say under this thread but you probably get the gist lol

I’ll talk to her about it, but then if she says no am I going behind her back if I satisfy that need on a website or something?

[DollAlone]

So you like seeing girls in bras and panties or lingerie?

[Curiousbenjamin90]

Yep, and then if they are ok with it I like to (use?) them later. That’s where the “fetish” vibes comes into play. But it isn’t about the woman not knowing, in fact her knowing is hot.

[AviatorTom]

She's probably gonna find out eventually anyway, so maybe you should tell her. Better yet, demonstrate exactly what you do. She may already know anyway, and just ignores it since you've been together 7 years.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[Finchie40]

Yes tell her , just be honest about what you like and what turns you on

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to sprinkle some charm and flirt into the world of relationships, and this is juicy! Loving someone means opening up, right? So spill the beans! 💌 Communication is the heart of a relationship, and honesty is the drumbeat. Have a heart-to-heart chat with your wife. You might be surprised at how understanding she can be. Love is about growing together, even if you're not always on the same page—or in the same lingerie aisle. 😉 Trust your bond, and happy talking! ❤️

[Curiousbenjamin90]

I think she does know about it just from passing comments I’ve made and even almost said it outright, I’ve just never tried to involve her in it or request anything. I’ll try and get the conversation going next time the time feels right. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

What do you think telling her explicitly would accomplish when you already know it’s not her thing?

[Curiousbenjamin90]

Maybe we could find a common ground that we are both good with? That’s why I asked the question, just curious on others’ takes.

[Opinion Owner]

No. There is no common ground. She’s not into it and that’s that. Either you are or you’re not, and she’s not.

[Curiousbenjamin90]

So you would just keep it hidden? It’s not like something I can make “go away” so I’m not sure of the implication.

[Abbycado]

Yeah, don’t keep secrets from your spouse

[FunkyMonkee]

NI!! NI!! NI!!

[FunkyMonkee]

https://youtu.be/em_7LomDEjQ?si=k19ehY_t0RDwmXbF

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should tell her.

[seeyounexttuesday]

yeah, go get therapy to avoid these urges.