Am I wrong for not letting my girlfriend borrow my car when she's already told her friends they can because of how she treated it last time?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have been together just over a year, not living together.

A few months ago she asked if she could borrow my car for a few days, for a getaway with her girlfriends. She only has a sedan, her gfs have small hatchbacks, whereas I have a medium SUV.

Now, I take extremely good care of my car, as my dad impressed upon me when I was young. Maintenance is always up to date, I only use premium fuel, and I keep it immaculate.

I told her yes, as long as she keeps it clean, uses premium fuel, and just treats it with respect in general.

So, I let her borrow it, and I used her car to get to and from work for a few days. She returns, pops by my work to get her keys and give me back mine, then goes home to sleep.

I finish work and get to my car, and I am gobsmacked - it's a mess. Mud everywhere, a scratch down the side, and rubbish inside. I find a fuel receipt and she's put the cheapest fuel in there, and left me with an almost empty tank on return.

I was pretty mad, but she didn't respond to my texts until later, and insisted the scratch was there already - it wasn't - and that she was "too tired" to clean it, that premium fuel was too expensive, and I clean and wash my car every weekend anyway so why bother.

We argued about it a lot but in the end I got nowhere.

Cue last night, she stops by and says she needs to borrow my car again, she and her friends are going away for a week.

I basically laugh and tell her it's not happening after the way she treated my car last time. She says I'm overreacting and it's "just a car", and that she already told her friends they can use my car, and they need a car as their own won't fit everything. I told her they can take two cars then, but she's not getting my car, and to be safe, I've hidden my keys.

She stormed off and isn't speaking to me, just one text to tell me "a good boyfriend would let her borrow his car".

Surely I'm not in the wrong this time?

[Finchie40]

You aren’t wrong , she is , and she dug her own grave by not being respectful to your car , so I wouldn’t let her use it either , especially with her disrespectful friends’ that more than likely played a part on messing up your Cara’s well , so she can be mad all she wants. Also how many trips does she take with her friends that she doesn’t include you? if you are barely ever included , you better reconsider that relationship with her period , because she could be using you and not being a good girlfriend behind yyour back if that’s the case

[AviatorTom]

You are not wrong. It is said that you can only make a first impression once. She did, and her first impression proved she is not responsible with your car.

Stick by your decision and tell her you will never let her borrow your car again. And if she asks why, tell her.

[RandomGirl42]

I am a total slob with my own jeep but yeah, if I borrowed someone else's I would "return it the way I found it" as I was raised to do. So, no, you are not wrong in this.

What really irritates me the most out of your story is that she already told her friends she could use it BEFORE she even asked u. So, my reply text would be "A good girlfriend wouldn't be such a bitch." But I'm not always known for my social skills. 😊

[Amy_Mi]

You’re not wrong.

Setting boundaries is essential, especially when past experiences showed a lack of respect or care.

Trust and responsibility are earned, not assumed, and communicating your reasons clearly can prevent misunderstandings.

It’s fair to prioritize your property while also encouraging accountability.

[AI Opinion]

Your aim should never be to lovebomb your way into being a "good boyfriend" by sacrificing your boundaries, right? 😏 Your sweet ride deserves some love and respect, too! If your girlfriend didn't treat it right before, it's reasonable to set some limits this time. A loving relationship has boundaries, and if she insists it's "just a car," your feelings are "just as important." Trust is essential, too; so keeping keys hidden might be a smart move. Hopefully, you two can chat and reach a common understanding soon! 🚗💙

[OlderAndWiser]

The only thing you have done wrong is holding on to her as a girlfriend. She is taking advantage of you, disrespecting you, acting entitled, and - frankly - can you possibly think that you have a future with this woman?

[OlderAndWiser]

Additionally, you need to know that if you allow a friend to occasionally drive your car, they are covered by your insurance UNLESS you allow them to drive of a regular or frequent basis; in that case, they are not covered unless you list them as an additional driver on your insurance. If you add her to the policy, your rates will go up. If you let her continue to drive, and she has an accident causing property damage or injuring someone,, YOU may be held financially responsible because you own the vehicle.

[exitseven]

you are not wrong. She has no respect for your property. tell her that if she wants a bigger car there are plenty of places that will rent one.

[Abbycado]

No, if she mistreats your car, you have every right to not let her use it. As a fellow neat freak, I’d be mad too.

[DryGermanGuy]

I would be angry as well. It's not like you loaned her a scratched-up 250k miles banger.

[DonaldDarko]

Girls treat simps this way not boyfriends. She's just using you.

[Anonymous]

Why do you use premium gas? Very few cars require it, and it's actually harmful to some cars that don't need it. Just because it costs more doesn't mean it's better for all situations.

[StraightFaceAce]

She sounds super inconsiderate and selfish.

[Anonymous]

I would let her, but hey, I like dominant girls.

[Ariesman81]

Lack of respect and gaslighting = No Dick for You